


Love Dust

by zebraljb



Series: Loud and Clear [3]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom Eggsy Unwin, Bottom Harry Hart, Chemical Weapons, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Masturbation, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, One-Sided Attraction, Oral Sex, Pining, Threesome - M/M/M, Top Eggsy Unwin, Top Harry Hart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-14 15:55:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 120,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14772647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zebraljb/pseuds/zebraljb
Summary: This follows after the events in "Loud and Clear," however, you could read it as a stand alone story and I doubt that you'd be confused.  Eggsy and Harry are eight months into their marriage and are still deeply in love (and lust) with one another.  Harry is Arthur and Eggsy is still finding his way as Agent Tristan.Eggsy retrieves a chemical weapon that affects the part of the brain controlling emotion, lust and affection.  When Merlin offers to be the human guinea pig so they can find out exactly how the weapon works, the results throw everyone for a loop.There's a little more Merlin POV in this story.





	1. Chapter 1

ONE

“So you’re telling me the software you need…” Harry takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes. “You’re telling me it will cost how much?”

“Do I really need to repeat myself?” Merlin leans back in his chair and studies him. It’s always interesting negotiating with Harry as Arthur. He spoils his friends and especially his husband, but when it comes to Kingsman funds, he’s extremely tight-fisted. Merlin enjoys the challenge. “Harry, have I ever tried to get money out of you that I didn’t need?”

“But…you’re Merlin. I thought you, you know, created the software.”

“Harry, you’re one of the smartest people I know. Most of the time. You don’t know how computers work?”

“I know how they work. Software is the brain part and hardware is the…hard part. And what do you mean I’m smart most of the time?”

“When it comes to Eggsy, Harry, you are one of the dumbest people I know. You cock it up with him ALL the time. And who fixes it? Me. With Percival’s help, of course,” Merlin says generously. Harry makes a face at the mention of Percival’s name and Merlin winces a bit. He tries not to bring Alan up too much in Harry’s presence; even after eight months it bothers Harry that Alan mentioned having feelings for Eggsy.

“See? You’re incredibly intelligent. I don’t understand why you just can’t…”

“What? Wave my magic wand and create decryption software? I’m not THAT kind of magician, Harry.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” Harry mumbles. “Manage to know things I never want you to know. Creepy stalker.”

“Fuck you,” Merlin snaps.

“Did you just say fuck you to Arthur?”

“What I know, I can also broadcast to the entire organization,” Merlin reminds him. Harry opens his mouth but Merlin holds up a hand. “Hold on.” He presses a button on his glasses. “Yes, Miss Evans? Oh. Yes, he’s with me right now. I can send him down. I understand.” He presses the button again and looks at Harry. “That was Miss Evans, obviously. There’s a delivery in Medical that requires your immediate attention.”

“Me?”

“Are there other Arthurs in here?” Merlin growls. “I’m not the fucking telephone company. She said there’s a delivery there with your name on it, it’s damaged somehow, and she’s really not sure what to do with it. She sounds frustrated. I think you should get down there.”

“I don’t remember signing anything for deliveries to Medical that would require MY presence, but all right.” Harry stands up and buttons his jacket.

“Harry, how many things does Arthur sign in a day? Between electronic signatures and ink, I’m sure you write your name without even thinking. I could probably get you to co-sign on a house with me.” Merlin winks at him.

“Sorry, Merlin, one Kingsman roommate is enough for me.” Harry smiles fondly and Merlin knows he’s thinking of his husband, who is out on a mission and not due back for at least another two days.

“Go help Miss Evans. I’ll send the specs for what I want and you can do your signing thing.” Merlin waves him out of the office, smiling as Harry leaves. They really are adorable, he must admit.

 

“So sorry, Miss Evans, I was…” Harry opens the door to Medical and finds it empty but for one person.

“Hello, luv,” Eggsy says, sliding down from an examining table. He has on his suit trousers and white shirt, which is unbuttoned. A purple-black bruise graces his perfect cheekbone.

“Eggsy!” Harry says with delight, crossing the room in three quick strides. “I didn’t expect you back yet!” He cups Eggsy’s neck in his hands and kisses him.

“Mmm…” Eggsy groans against him, pressing their bodies together. “Missed you.” He wraps his arms around Harry’s slender waist, standing on tiptoe to reach him.

“I missed you, too.” Harry rests his forehead against Eggsy’s for a moment, then steps back. “What is this?” His knuckles brush across the bruise with a feather-light touch but Eggsy still hisses.

“Nothin’. Took the wrong side of a punch is all. M’fine. Promise. At least the suit deflected the knife the bloke had.”

Harry makes a choked sound. He knows how competent his boy is in the field, but he still gets nervous. “Are you really all right? I can never trust you when you say such things.” Harry’s hands slide across Eggsy’s flat stomach and around his sides, checking for bruises or cuts. His hands tingle as they touch the smooth skin, thumbs tracing over every groove and scar.

“I think you just like checkin’,” Eggsy says with a grin. “Promise, luv. M’fine. Just this lovely shiner. We did what we had ta do, got outta there early.”

“What a lovely surprise. Miss Evans told Merlin she had a delivery with my name on it that was damaged and she wasn’t sure what to do with it. I’m glad you’re not TOO damaged.” Harry presses gentle kisses along Eggsy’s cheek. Eggsy’s mission had only taken about eight days but it always felt like an eternity. It’s hard having him gone, but he loves when he returns, loves relearning everything about him.

Eggsy chuckles. “C’mon, ‘arry, ya know I’m quite damaged. But that was a cute trick ta play. Of course Merlin played along. He’s aces.” 

“Yes, he’s a good friend.” Harry is finally satisfied with his examination of Eggsy’s torso. 

“We could go back to yer suite an’ I could give Arthur my report,” Eggsy murmurs, tugging on Harry’s tie a bit.

Harry sighs. “You know we can’t do that.” Harry tries very hard to keep work and home separate, and takes his position as Arthur very seriously. Eggsy knows this and rarely makes any sort of joke about doing anything with Arthur.

“Yeah, I know. Thought I’d try it anyway.” Eggsy gives him a wink to show he wasn’t really serious.

“However…” Harry slides his thumbs up Eggsy’s naked chest and flicks at his nipples. “After we go meet with Merlin so he can get all the intel, we could go home…and Tristan could give his report to Galahad.” He waits for the response he knows is coming.

Eggsy shivers. “I do like reporting to Galahad.” 

“I’m sure you’ll have a lot of explaining to do,” Harry says in his stern Galahad voice as he touches the bruise again. 

“Mmm…yes, SIR.” He gives Harry a long deep kiss. “All right. Let me finish getting dressed.” 

Harry forces himself to step back and allow Eggsy to button his shirt, tie his tie, and pull on his jacket. “Wait…you’re missing something.” Harry reaches into his own jacket, finger and thumb slipping into the tiny pocket over his heart. He pulls out a ring. “Eggsy Unwin-Hart, will you marry me?”

“Yes, I will, Harry Hart.” Eggsy holds out his hand and Harry slides his wedding ring onto his finger. It’s a ritual they’ve performed after every mission since the wedding. Harry always has the ring over his heart, and he always proposes as soon as he can get the ring back on Eggsy’s hand. “Always and forever.”

Harry takes Eggsy’s hand and kisses the ring tenderly. “Let’s go meet with Merlin.”

 

Merlin’s pouring himself a cup of tea when Eggsy and Harry return to his office. “Ah, Tristan. Back early.”

“Things actually went well this time. Always nice when that happens. Good ta see ya, Merlin.” Eggsy gives him a half-hug and makes two more cups of tea.

“Please, help yourself,” Merlin says wryly. He’s not really upset. Eggsy has become a sort of pet, and Merlin surprisingly doesn’t mind. He knows Eggsy is part of his friendship with Harry, and he’s become a welcome part of Merlin’s life. 

“Don’t mind if I do.” Eggsy pours an obscene amount of sugar into one cup and hands Harry the other cup. Harry sits in a chair and Eggsy immediately sits on the arm, leaning against Harry a bit.

Merlin forces himself not to smile. He’s always thought of himself as the complete opposite of a romantic, but seeing Harry and Eggsy twisted something small in his soul. “Really, Tristan, I have other perfectly good chairs.”

“Yeah, ya do.” Eggsy beams at him. 

“All right. I have a bit of the intel here from Kay, but if you wish to elaborate…” Merlin gets back to business and starts typing. “What we thought was correct…they are making some sort of chemical weapon?”

“Aren’t they always?” Eggsy says with a sigh. “I swear, it’s always chemical weapons or human trafficking, ain’t it?”

“Shame, really,” Harry says, meeting Merlin’s gaze and rolling his eyes. “What I’d give for a good old fashioned assassination attempt or government coup.”

“Tragic,” Merlin says with a grin, shaking his head.

“Oi, quit makin’ fun of the young kid,” Eggsy says, poking his husband. 

“Anyway,” Merlin says, desperately trying to keep the meeting under control. Harry usually loses some of his Arthur veneer when Eggsy returns from a mission, and Merlin doesn’t have it in him to say anything. He knows his friend is happy. “The weapon…were you able to learn anything?”

“Just that it’s not the usual sort of thing. Ya don’t dump it in the river an’ it kills everyone, don’t shoot in the air an’ everyone breathes it in. Something…psychological, I think.” Eggsy pauses, deep in thought. “Yeah, psychological. Heard some blokes talkin’ about how it would drive people crazy, but on more of a one-on-one kinda level?”

“Interesting.” Harry sips at his tea. “Not what we usually see.”

“Gathered what we could, brought it back and it’s at the Warehouse,” Eggsy says. “Captured most of the bastards in charge of it, but…” Eggsy sighs. “Two of ‘em got away. Think they was in charge, too. Sorry, Arthur. I was inside the lab, an’ Kay was tied up in the corridor. Shoulda known there was a back door.” He hangs his head.

“It’s fine, Tristan.” Harry rubs his knee. “You brought back the product itself. Ector and his team will look into it. We’ll find the two scientists.”

“You did good, lad,” Merlin says, giving him a warm smile. 

 

The meeting lasts another twenty minutes, and even though both Harry and Merlin had told him it was all right, Eggsy still felt ashamed that he’d let the men get away. He was still working to prove himself as an agent, even after a few years, and no one was harder on him than he was on himself. 

“That will do,” Merlin says, closing his computer. “Go home, Tristan. Love on that adorable dog of yours.”

“Yeah,” Eggsy says, perking up a bit. He did miss his dog. He gives Merlin a smile. 

“What about loving on his adorable husband?” Harry asks as he stands up.

“Harry, I call you many names. Adorable is not one of them,” Merlin says and Eggsy snickers. “Also, do I really need to tell Eggsy to love on you?”

“Probably not,” Harry admits. 

“Have a good evening, you two. Eggsy, I’ll see you in a couple of days.”

“See ya then, guv.” Eggsy leads the way out of the office, Harry closing the door behind them.

Harry opens his mouth to speak but they hear, “And NO snogging against my office door!”

“Really? Arthur wouldn’t…”

“But Tristan might,” Eggsy interrupts, giving Harry a wink. “Can ya come home now?”

“I have a few things to take care of.” Eggsy begins to frown. “So I can take tomorrow off with you.”

Eggsy beams up at him. After returning from a mission, agents are allotted at least one day off depending on the severity of the mission. “Oh, fuck, ‘arry, that’d be great.” 

“Why don’t you stop and grab dinner on your way, get a shower, relax a bit, take care of Eliza. I’ll be home shortly.” Harry looks up and down the hall and gives Eggsy a quick kiss. “I love you. I’m so happy you’re home safe.”

“Love you, too.” 

 

When Harry arrives at the house an hour later, he smells pizza as soon as he opens the door. “Darling, I’m home.”

“In the kitchen!”

Eliza comes scampering down the hallway, barking as she runs in and out of Harry’s legs. “Hello, Eliza. I just saw you this morning, remember?” Harry scoops her up anyway and carries her back to the kitchen. “Are you happy Daddy’s home?”

“Yes. I had to take a second shower just to wash the dog kisses off.” Eggsy takes the dog from Harry. “Wanted my face clean for husband kisses instead.”

“And you shall have as many as you want.” Harry gives Eggsy kisses on each cheek, his nose, and finally his mouth. “Let me change. I feel horribly overdressed.” Harry’s eyes wander over Eggsy’s tee and workout shorts, spending extra time ogling the strong thighs.

“If yer wearin’ clothes at all, you’ll be horribly overdressed for what I have in mind,” Eggsy says with a teasing grin.

Harry groans. “Be right back.” He pinches Eggsy’s backside because he just can’t help it.

He goes upstairs to their bedroom, leans against the wall behind the door and starts counting. He makes it to four before he hears footsteps on the stairs. He smiles to himself. He does love his horny husband. “I was thinking we could skip dinner,” Eggsy says as he runs into the room. He stops short and looks around for Harry.

“Have I taught you nothing, Tristan?” Harry steps away from the wall and pushes the door closed. “You run into a room like an animal. Have you no decorum?” He holds himself high, every hair perfectly in place, every inch the senior agent of Kingsman.

Eggsy’s eyes flare with heat. “I’m sorry, sir. You’re right. I apologize.” He pulls himself together and stands straight.

“Apology accepted. So.” Harry slowly walks in a circle around him, eyes wandering over Eggsy. He frowns as if something’s missing, something’s wrong. “You’re home from your mission. Early, even. One would think that if you got home early, you’d accomplished what you set out to do. Did you safely accomplish your mission?”

“Yes, sir. We retrieved what we were sent to retrieve and brought it to HQ.”

“Hmmm.” Harry stops walking directly behind him, his breath fluttering Eggsy’s hair. “You are incorrect. I asked if you safely accomplished your mission.” His hand slides up over the back of Eggsy’s thin tee and slides over the bruised cheek. “You did not.”

“I’m sorry, sir. I tried to…”

“You need to try harder.” Harry walks around in front of him. He grabs the hem of Eggsy’s shirt and slowly pulls it over his head. “Your body is a vessel in service of the Kingsman organization. Your job is to…serve…is it not?” 

Eggsy swallows hard and Harry can tell he’s trying to remain at attention as Harry’s hands slide over his bare stomach and back. “Yes, Galahad, sir. My job is to serve Kingsman.”

“Is it your job to serve senior agents?” Harry’s hand slides up to cup the side of his face, thumb trailing over his lips. His hand then moves to ghost over Eggsy’s ear.

“Yes, sir, if that’s…fuck…if that’s what’s required.” 

Harry looks down. Eggsy erection is obscene, tenting the front of his shorts. It’s Harry’s turn to swallow. He’s quickly losing the grasp he has on his Galahad character. “However…you did bring back the information required, and you did it efficiently. Perhaps you deserve a reward.” Harry pulls Eggsy forward by the hips and teases at Eggsy’s mouth with his tongue. “What reward would you like?”

“Want…can I have…want you…”

“And how do you want me, my love?” Harry murmurs along Eggsy’s neck.

Eggsy’s nimble fingers dispose of Harry’s jacket and get to work on the buttons of his shirt. “Want to be inside ya, ‘arry, please…want ya ridin’ me…would…would ya do that?”

It’s not a position they take very often, but Harry’s missed his boy, and the warm hands sliding over his stomach overrule every other thought. “Yes, my boy, yes.” 

“Fuck, ‘arry.” Harry wriggles out of his shirt as Eggsy falls on his knees to undo Harry’s belt. He gets the buckle open, fumbles with the button and zipper, and then he’s shoving the trousers and pants to the floor.

“My shoes,” Harry gasps. Eggsy laughs, guiding Harry to the bed in an odd shuffle. Harry sits down, cock hard and throbbing. Eggsy finds his shoes, unlaces them, and throws them over his shoulder along with Harry’s socks. 

“Now,” Eggsy says, whipping the trousers and pants off. He stands up and slowly slides his shorts and pants down.

“Yes,” Harry moans, hand reaching out to gently stroke Eggsy. 

“Stop…so hot for ya ‘arry that it wouldn’t take much.” Eggsy grabs lube from the nightstand drawer and comes back to the bed. “Ya sure…”

“Yes.” Harry scoots back on the bed. 

Eggsy crawls up the bed and settles between Harry’s bent legs. “So gorgeous for me, ‘arry.” His hands slide down the inside of Harry’s thighs. He strokes Harry for a moment and then his hand goes lower. Harry hisses as he feels the lubed finger start to tease along his entrance.

“Missed you, missed you so much, Eggsy. Missed this, missed holding you, missed waking up with you,” Harry murmurs. 

“Aw, was ya lonely?” Eggsy coos. He leans back to watch his finger slide in and out. 

“Didn’t even touch myself while you were gone.” Harry groans and arches up as a second finger goes in. He loves this, loves the way Eggsy opens him up to work inside of him. 

“You was probably too busy, probably slept at HQ, that’s why,” Eggsy says with a smile.

“Maybe…maybe Merlin and I got drunk and fooled around again,” Harry says, just to see what reaction he gets. 

“Jesus,” Eggsy groans. “Don’t say that shite ta me, ‘arry.” 

A third finger goes in. “Are you saying…Christ, Eggsy…are you saying you like the idea of me with someone else?”

Those evil fingers curl and Harry whimpers. “You know that’s not true. But Merlin’s different…can’t explain it…” Eggsy grabs the lube again and wets his cock. He fists it for a moment, Harry’s eyes hot as he watches. “But no more talk about Merlin. If yer able ta speak, something’s not going right here.” He pulls at Harry and flips them over.

Harry kneels over him. “Only you,” he promises, groaning as he slides down onto Eggsy’s cock.

“That’s right. Only me…take it, ‘arry, Jesus…” Eggsy grabs at Harry’s hips, fingers digging in as Harry moves up slowly and down hard. 

“You feel so good…the only person I’d ever want to do this to me,” Harry tells him. “I love you…love your cock…fuck…” Every single time they’re together like this, Eggsy breaks Harry’s brain without really trying.

“Know why I love this, ‘arry?” Eggsy draws deep breaths as Harry moves over him. “Cuz I love it when ya come on me…love how ya mark me…love seein’ yer eyes haze over as ya…”

“God, your mouth,” Harry pants.

“Fuck yerself on me, ‘arry…love seein’ ya…” Eggsy’s hands slide up his own chest to pull at his nipples. 

Harry eyes close as he balances himself enough to start to stroke himself. “You…you want me to come on you?”

“Please…’arry…” Eggsy grabs at Harry’s waist again, yanking him down. 

“Eggsy…” Harry gasps as he comes. He focuses on Eggsy’s face. Eggsy’s eyes are glued to Harry’s cock as come spurts out onto his stomach and chest.

“Fuck, ‘arry that’s beautiful so perfect you’re perfect!” Eggsy babbles as he comes, shoving up into Harry once last time.

“No…” Harry pants, trying to keep from falling onto Eggsy’s chest. Eggsy finally releases his hold and Harry carefully moves up and over, falling onto his back. 

“No?”

“No, I’m not perfect. Far from it.” He moves enough to lay his head against Eggsy’s shoulder, and he feels Eggsy’s head move to press against his. 

“You are perfect for me. I love that no matter what we try, this is always good.” 

“I think you might kill me one of these days,” Harry murmurs. He’d never thought that he would find someone so creative, so willing to try something just because Harry wants it. And he, of course, would probably cut off one of his own fingers if Eggsy said turned him on. Well, maybe not. He probably would draw the line there.

“I’d resuscitate you,” Eggsy promises. “Just so I could fuck you again.”

“You probably would, cheeky brat.” Harry kisses him. “Now I want my pizza.”


	2. Chapter 2

TWO

On a day off, Harry normally tries to sleep as long as he can. Since becoming Arthur he’s made a strong effort to arrive at the office on time, which means he needs to get up rather early to make it there. It’s no one’s fault but his own; Eggsy, when he’s home, is extremely punctual. This means when he doesn’t have to be at work, Harry doesn’t get up early.

Except on days like today, when he’s slowly pulled to wakefulness by a warm mouth and a strong hand on his cock. “Mmm…Eggsy?”

“I would fuckin’ hope so.” Eggsy pulls his mouth off with a tantalizing slurp, his tongue slowly tracing Harry from root to tip. “Who else is wakin’ you up like this?”

“Fuck…Eggsy…” Harry can’t put words together. He’s still struggling from a good night’s sleep and Eggsy’s tongue is sending shockwaves through his body.

“That’s right…just me.” Eggsy’s hand is cradling Harry’s balls now, gently fondling as his wicked tongue continues to map his length.

“Eggsy…so good…” Harry finally manages two words together as a hand fists in Eggsy’s hair.

“Good, luv…want it to feel good…missed you while I was gone.” Eggsy’s hand works with his mouth and Harry starts to tremble.

“Eggsy, please…don’t stop…”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Haz.” 

Both hands grab at Eggsy’s hair as he comes, shoving Eggsy’s head down. Eggsy makes a choking sound but doesn’t move away. “Fuck…Jesus…” Harry swears, hips arching.

Harry falls back down onto the bed and Eggsy slowly releases him, licking stray drops of come from his cock. “Mmm…morning, luv.” Eggsy kisses the tip of Harry’s cock and goes to the en suite.

“Yes…good morning…” Harry mumbles, trying to pull his brain cells back into formation. He hears Eggsy brushing his teeth.

“Sit up,” Eggsy orders when he comes back to the bedroom. 

“Bossy little shit.” Harry slowly pushes himself into a seated position, rubbing at his face.

“Well, just for that, you can wake up on your own from now on.” Eggsy glares at him before he slowly smiles. “I love you like this. Love knowing I can destroy you before you’re even fully awake.”

“Not destroyed,” Harry protests. Eggsy raises an eyebrow. “Maybe if you didn’t get up at such a ridiculous time every morning, I could waken YOU this way.”

“Never happen. Used ta sleep really late, but since Kingsman, I’m up with the birds. Plus I like doing this to you way too much to sleep the day away.” Eggsy crawls onto the bed to sit on Harry’s lap. “Hello, husband.”

“Hello, Mr. Hart.” Harry cradles Eggsy’s face in his hands and kisses him. “You should be sleeping in. You just got back from a mission.”

“I can sleep when I’m dead,” Eggsy says lightly, but Harry wraps his arms around him and holds him tight.

“That is not funny, Eggsy.”

“Sorry,” Eggsy says into Harry’s shoulder. “Um, ‘arry…I’d like to breathe.”

Harry relents. A bit. “Anything special you’d like to do today?”

“Nothing except be with you. Does anythin’ need done around here?”

“We should probably clean the downstairs a bit. Billiards table needs brushing, floor needs swept,” Harry says. His stomach grumbles. “We could have breakfast.”

“Fuck! I forgot. Too busy gettin’ somethin’ else in my mouth.” Eggsy gives him a dirty kiss and hops off his lap. “Breakfast.” He picks a tray up from the floor and puts it over Harry’s lap.

“Breakfast!” Harry cannot keep the delight from his voice. He has a strict rule about where one can eat in his house (the kitchen, the dining room table, the occasional snack in front of the telly) but he breaks that rule for breakfast in bed and Eggsy knows it.

“I’ll say it even if Merlin wouldn’t. Yer adorable.” Eggsy kisses the top of Harry’s head. “Maybe after breakfast we could take Eliza for a walk.”

“Sounds wonderful.” Harry looks at his breakfast tray and then at his husband. “You spoil me.”

“Yes, I do. I figure I always get repaid, so…” Eggsy winks at him. “Gonna go shower.”

 

Merlin arrives at HQ at 6:45 exactly, dressed in his usual uniform of trousers and a worn jumper. He makes himself his second cup of tea of the day and heads for his office. As his monitors spring to life and his computer warms up, he wanders to the large bay of windows and looks outside. It looks like a nice day, but he won’t pay much attention to it once the work starts.

It’s not unusual for him to sleep in his HQ suite three or four nights a week. It’s even less unusual for him to skip the suite and just sleep on the sofa in his office. His mind rarely shuts down, rarely seems to need a reboot through sleep, but he often forces himself to lay down. Even though he no longer has the title of Arthur he feels responsible for every agent out in the field. His staff are good at what they do, and he knows he can trust them to operate without him, but he just cannot rest until he knows what’s going on and what needs done.

It’s not like he has anyone waiting at home. He doesn’t have much family to speak of, doesn’t have a pet, and definitely does not have a significant other. He envies James and Roxy, and Harry and Eggsy; it would be nice to have someone that can help pull you out of your job now and then. But he cannot allow anyone to distract him from his duties as the All Seeing Eye of Kingsman. What if he’s daydreaming about a lover and misses something?

He’d told Alan about the prostitutes that day in his office. Well, he hadn’t TOLD Alan, but he’d guessed. Clever little fuck. It wasn’t often, just when the actual physical lust and yearning got to be too much. He was clean, he was careful, and he didn’t just pull someone off the street. He had an agency he called, when the need arose, and they were very selective about their customers. That was all he needed. He was completely satisfied with the lack of romance in his life.

He sits in his chair and sips at his tea. He starts clicking through the various cameras, looking for any alerts, any unusual activities occurring while he was gone. Nothing shows up and he sighs with satisfaction. Hopefully the day without Arthur in the office can go quickly and quietly. He might even leave early, take himself out for a nice dinner. Harry is a very efficient, very professional Arthur, but due to their old friendship he often stops by Merlin’s office to ask a question or just shoot the breeze. While he will never turn away Arthur (or his best friend, for that matter), it does sometimes interfere with his actual duties. It’s especially bad when Eggsy’s in the field. As professional as Harry is, it’s obvious he’s at a bit of a loss when his husband is gone, although he’d never admit it. Merlin learned this early on, and often finds some sort of excuse for Harry to go review something, to go inspect a department, just so he has something to occupy his mind. 

Merlin hesitates before clicking on the computer bank for the cameras in Harry and Eggsy’s home. He doesn’t do this often, doesn’t spy on them, for lack of a better word. Not long after the wedding, Eggsy had asked Merlin to check in on Harry periodically, make sure he eats and sleeps and doesn’t work himself to the bone. And of course Arthur’s house has cameras all over the place. Every Kingsman house does, but Arthur’s even more so. Merlin normally doesn’t check the house cameras for any of the houses, and kicks himself repeatedly since that lack of observation allowed Eggsy’s fuckhead of a stepfather to break in (Merlin still wasn’t sure how) and trash Eggsy’s last flat. 

So Merlin set up a schedule and now checks the homes on a quick rotating basis. He brings the Unwin-Hart house up on a monitor and flips through the cameras in the house. One thing he will not do is look at anything in the bedroom or bath. He feels they deserve that privacy, unless something comes up that makes him think otherwise. He finds them in the kitchen and smiles as he sees Eggsy cooing at his dog while Harry does dishes. Eggsy picks up the dog, allows her to kiss his face, then comes over to Harry. Harry leans away, making a face. Merlin sighs and closes the camera screen. Obviously they’re enjoying their day off together. 

 

“You know it’s yer day off, right?” Eggsy elbows Harry in the side. “An’ we’re takin’ the dog for a walk?”

“Uh, yes, Eggsy, I’m fully aware.” Harry gives Eggsy an odd look. “Wait.” He grabs Eggsy elbow as the light changes at the intersection. “Constant vigilance, my boy.”

“Okay, Mad-Eye.” Eggsy sighs as Harry gives him another weird look. “We really gotta start reading those books, ‘arry.” They cross the street, Eliza trotting along at their heels. “Just sayin’ that ya don’t need ta wear a suit.”

“I’ve lived over five decades without you here to tell me what to wear, and somehow they haven’t thrown me in the Fashion Prison,” Harry says. “Why is it such a crime for me to like wearing suits?”

“It’s not a crime, it’s just…” Eggsy looks him over from head to toe, eyes lingering on the long legs. It’s just not fair that Harry looks that good in a suit. And then Eggsy has to go out in public with him and focus on NOT climbing him like a bloody tree. “Ya make me look bad,” he says finally.

Harry doesn’t speak until they’re almost at the park. “You do that all by yourself, my boy. I love you, but maybe it’s YOU that needs to be thrown in Fashion Prison.” He plucks at the garish red jacket Eggsy’s wearing.

“You do not get to judge my clothes,” Eggsy snaps. “Come on, Eliza, let’s go over here. Apparently yer Da is embarrassed by us.” He puts his nose in the air and struts away. He hears Harry’s laughter behind him and smiles to himself. He looks over his shoulder. “Comin’, old man?”

“I could never make you look bad, my beautiful boy,” Harry murmurs behind him. Eggsy shivers. 

Eggsy opens the gate to the dog run area, unleashes Eliza, and lets her go. They sit on a bench nearby. Harry puts his arm along the back of the bench and Eggsy rests against it without truly snuggling next to him. They try to keep their displays of affection fairly private; this is as far as it usually goes beyond some hand holding and kisses hello/goodbye. “I appreciate the compliment. I just…I like to put Kingsman away sometimes, ya know? Like to just be myself.”

“Well, this is me being myself. I’m comfortable this way. Different generation, I suppose.”

“Not an age thing…I think it’s an upbringing thing,” Eggsy gently corrects. “You were surrounded by men in suits. I was surrounded by men in jeans and ratty jumpers.”

“You look gorgeous no matter what you’re wearing.”

Eggsy blushes a bit at the words whispered in his ear. “I think yer a bit biased.”

“Probably,” Harry says with a chuckle. He takes Eggsy’s hand and holds it, rubbing his finger over Eggsy’s wedding band. 

Eggsy sighs happily. Every day he wakes up with Harry he tries to figure out what he’s done to deserve this life, this love, this level of devotion. Perhaps it’s a reward for everything he’d lived through up to the day he’d met Harry. Harry suddenly startles a bit and Eggsy frowns. “Are you…oh.” Eggsy’s not wearing his Kingsman glasses, as it’s his day off, but Harry doesn’t have that sort of leeway. Arthur is on call all the time. Harry taps the frame in response to the alert he’s obviously received.

“Hello, Merlin,” Harry says with a sigh. He squeezes Eggsy’s fingers to let him know everything’s fine. “Oh. All right. We will. First thing. Thank you.” He disconnects the call. “Merlin’s met with Ector and the science team. They want to talk to us first thing tomorrow in the lab.”

“Both of us?”

“You were involved in the mission. He figured you’d want to hear what they say.”

“All right.” Eggsy sighs again. He’s just happy Harry didn’t have to go back in to HQ. 

“We should have Merlin over for dinner soon,” Harry mumbles into Eggsy’s hair. “Been a while.”

“That would be nice,” Eggsy agrees. “Get him out of HQ.”

“Right.”

Eggsy sits up quickly, almost knocking Harry over. “Eliza! No! Fuck.” He jumps up and runs to the dog pen as Eliza starts barking at another dog.

 

“Good morning, Tristan. Arthur, sir,” Ector says respectfully as they enter the science lab.

“Hello, Ector,” Eggsy says with a smile. 

“Good morning, Ector. Good morning, everyone.” Harry nods at Ector’s staff, who politely respond.

Merlin’s seated at a desk on the side of the room, ever-present computer in front of him. “Arthur…Tristan.” Normally he’d be a bit more casual, even with James there, but with his staff milling around they need to keep things professional. “This is…interesting.”

“I’m intrigued.” Harry sits on one side of Merlin with Eggsy on the other. James leans against the desk. “What have you found?”

“Well, let me give you a bit of science first,” James begins. Eggsy rolls his eyes and Merlin kicks him. “The part of the brain that deals with attraction, lust, all of that, is the hypothalamus. It produces all the chemicals and hormones that make you feel those things. You lust after someone, your testosterone level jumps. When you’re attracted to someone, the dopamine level in your brain goes haywire…it’s related to the reward center of your brain. You care about someone and your brain rewards you with dopamine. You feel giddy and excited and happy.”

Merlin watches Eggsy carefully, knowing full well how he’ll react. He’s not sitting next to Harry, and wouldn’t touch him if he was, but he keeps sending Harry secret looks of attraction, lust, and everything James is talking about. Merlin controls his own yearning to roll his eyes. Seriously. It’s like living in an eternal romantic comedy. 

James continues. “When you’ve moved past lust and attraction, you get to what’s pretty much attachment. When you aren’t just temporarily interested in someone. That same part of the brain produces oxytocin and vasopressin, which are apparent during sex, breastfeeding, and childbirth. They’re like…cuddle hormones, make you just want to bond with the person you care about.”

“Thank you, Ector,” Merlin says. He looks from Eggsy to Harry and back to Eggsy again. “If you even think about going somewhere to shag after this, I will personally beat you with a cricket bat,” he mutters to Eggsy.

“I wouldn’t!” Eggsy protests. Then he gives Merlin a sly grin. “An’ don’t threaten me with a good time, bruv.”

“How does this all relate to the chemical Tristan retrieved?” Harry asks. 

“From the intel he brought back…the notes, the computer files…the drug is injected into the bloodstream, and pretty much explodes into the hypothalamus. It increases everything I’ve talked about tenfold. That’s all we know, unfortunately. We don’t know the severity of the effects. Will the person go around raping people? Will they become hyperfocused on one person? If they are in a relationship, will they become insanely jealous and feral? We have no clue, because they weren’t ready for human trials.” Ector makes a face. “There were plans for some sort of kidnapping to find their human subjects.”

“Christ.” Eggsy makes a face. “Glad we got there when we did, then.”

“Unfortunately, the two men that got away could still do something with this. We don’t know if they have the knowledge to make more on their own,” Merlin says. Eggsy hangs his head in shame. “Relax, lad,” Merlin says softly. “We need to find them to make sure we can get some sort of antidote, just in case.”

“I wish we knew exactly what this thing does,” Harry says. He stands up and goes over to a briefcase on the table. In the briefcase are four syringes. “This is it?”

“It’s what they had prepared for the human subjects, yes,” Ector replies. “We have larger quantities at the Warehouse.”

“I wish…” Harry sighs. “We can’t. We can’t do that to someone, however much we want to know.”

“I’ll do it,” Eggsy volunteers. Everyone gapes at him. “What? It’s my fault they got away. Stick me with that thing.”

“Could you leave us, please?” James says to his staff. The room empties immediately. “Eggsy, don’t be ridiculous.”

“What? We all know how I’ll react. There’s only one person I want in the whole world, and I already have him.” Eggsy’s eyes remained glued to Harry’s face. “Not like I’m gonna go rape him or anything. Can’t rape the willing, right? Jealousy? Yeah, I think we already know I’m possessive as fuck when it comes to Harry. Already love him, already adore him, already have fucking bonded with him. We’re married, for fuck’s sake.”

“Absolutely not,” Harry snaps. “You can’t go around injecting yourself with a foreign substance just because you feel guilty about a mission. We have no clue how it could affect you.”

“It’s not a big deal, ‘arry. So Merlin doesn’t send me in the field for a few weeks. I lay low around here so he can keep an eye on me. I’ll move into our suite.”

“I don’t want you in the suite, I want you in the field or home with me,” Harry almost growls. “And I’d think you of all people would be a little more careful about injecting drugs.”

“I’m gonna pretend you didn’t just say that,” Eggsy says quietly. “And for the record, I never fuckin’ INJECTED anything.”

Merlin winces at the reference to Eggsy’s short history of drug abuse. “Eggsy, while your offer is deeply appreciated, I cannot allow it. I also have approval for this sort of thing, and while I could formally go against Arthur if I really wanted to, I do not want to in the slightest. There has to be another way.”

“Let’s see…who can be the perfect guinea pig, then?” Eggsy snaps, getting up and starting to pace. “Someone who don’t care about anyone, someone who wouldn’t go mental for someone else? Not Roxy, not James…why don’t we call Percival? He don’t love no one.”

“No,” Harry says fiercely, so fiercely that Eggsy stops walking and stares at him. “That’s…not a good idea.”

“Alan is a walking erection. That’s the last thing we need,” Merlin says quickly. He briefly touches Harry’s arm in support.

“I’d suggest someone who never goes in the field, like, I don’t know, Edward in Weapons, but we all KNOW he carries quite a torch for someone,” Eggsy says, pointedly glaring at Harry.

“Eggsy, will you please relax? I’m sorry I said what I did about the drugs,” Harry says with a sigh.

“Please don’t give me that patronizin’ tone, ‘arry. I don’t appreciate it.”

“We really aren’t considering this, are we? I mean, a human subject…” James begins.

“James, we gotta find out what this shit does. It scares me, to be honest with you. It’s like…mind control, ain’t it?” Eggsy asks. “Valentine all over again.”

The other three continue to argue as Merlin walks over to the briefcase. He looks at the syringes for a long moment, then looks at the others. He makes sure they’re deep in conversation before he rolls up his sleeve, picks up one of the syringes, and jams it into his own arm.


	3. Chapter 3

THREE

Merlin quickly withdraws the needle from his arm and finds a box of tissues. He snags one and presses it to the small injection point on his skin. He turns and finds everyone else staring at him, argument quickly forgotten. He leans against the table and calmly looks back.

“What…the FUCK…did you just DO?” Eggsy almost screams. “Have you gone fuckin’ MENTAL, Merlin?”

“Jesus Christ, Merlin,” Harry gasps. 

James grabs the empty syringe from the table and stares at it. “Merlin, we don’t even know what the actual dosage is! Perhaps you weren’t meant to take the entire thing!”

“Perhaps,” Merlin agrees.

“Perhaps he weren’t fuckin’ meant to take ANY of it!” Eggsy’s in his face now, furious and shaking. “You stupid prick, what have you done?”

“I’d prefer it if you’d step away, lad.” Merlin’s voice remains calm. “I know where this is coming from, and I appreciate your concern, but…”

“Oh, I’m concerned all right. For your fuckin’ SANITY!”

“Tristan, step down,” Harry snaps in a voice that immediately makes Eggsy back away. “Merlin…”

“It’s exactly like Eggsy said. We need someone who has no feelings for someone else, who won’t go crazy with lust or jealousy. Who better than me? When’s the last time you saw me worked up about something, Harry? Or you, James? You know me better than anyone else. I’m the perfect candidate.”

“You shouldn’t have done it,” James says miserably. “We just…what if…”

“I already have the tracker under my skin. I’ll program it to log all my vitals, twenty-four seven. I’ll open the results to the Science unit, James, as well as to Penelope. She’s the only person on my staff I trust with something like this. I pretty much live here at headquarters, anyway, so it will be easy to keep an eye on me.”

“M’sorry I called you a prick.” Eggsy’s contrite now, standing in front of him with sorrowful eyes. “I just…fuck, Merlin.”

“I know, lad.” Merlin sighs and allows Eggsy to hug him. “I made a spur of the moment decision.”

“Stupid decision,” Eggsy says against his shoulder. He pulls back. “Don’t suppose ya wanna fuck me? Maybe yer feelin’ protective of me, wanna kick Harry’s arse because he gets to be with me?”

Merlin bursts out laughing while Harry and James gasp as one. “No, Eggsy, I’m sorry.”

“What?” Eggsy looks at the others as he gives Merlin a smirk. “Just thought if he could, you know, latch onto me, it would save us all the trouble.”

“And I thought Alan was the conceited one.” James shakes his head. “Really, Eggsy.”

“Good stress reliever, though,” Merlin points out.

“Eggsy isn’t the only one who’s angry with you, Merlin.” Harry walks over and stands in front of him. Merlin’s never seen Harry look at him with this much controlled fury. “That was completely irresponsible. How can you be trusted to care for our agents in the field if…”

“Are you fucking KIDDING me, Harry?” Merlin gasps. “Do not EVER insinuate that I would put the care and safety of our knights second to ANYTHING else. I’ll be here at HQ all the time. I’ll have James monitoring me, and Penelope will be at my side while I’m working. It’s like I told you, I have NO feelings towards any of our men in the field other than that of a compatriot and friend. And if anything would happen, if I’d start to feel like anything was getting in the way of my job, I would inform you immediately and remove myself from the position.”

“I did not mean to insult you,” Harry says immediately, and Merlin knows he means it. He studies Merlin, brown eyes warmer now. “Eggsy, James…could you give us a minute?”

“Of course,” James says.

“Sure, luv.” Eggsy squeezes Merlin’s arm and follows James out of the lab.

“Explain yourself.” Harry crosses his arms over his chest.

“I don’t have anything to explain. You lot were going to go on and on all day about it. There was no other solution.” Merlin shrugs his shoulders. “You couldn’t give this to Eggsy, or James, or any of the agents in the field. I was the expendable candidate.”

“Do not ever talk about yourself like that again, Merlin,” Harry snaps. “You are far from expendable. Without you…”

“Without me someone else could run everything I run, do everything I do. Just a bit slower.” Merlin sighs. “I just…I don’t go in the field anymore, Harry. I haven’t for years. No one ever asked if I wanted to come out of the field, did you know that? The powers that be realized one day that I can do things with computers and tech that no one else can do, and I was yanked out. And now it’s too late for me to ever go back.” He smiles a bit. “Consider this me getting to go back in the field without actually going into the field.”

“I’m sorry.” Harry puts a hand on Merlin’s shoulder and squeezes. “This…this scares me. You really need to communicate, Merlin, and not just with me. You need to report anything that feels off. Blood pressure, heartrate, temperature, anything.”

“And apparently I need to be on the lookout for any sudden impulses towards your husband,” Merlin teases. As if he’d be stupid enough to try and touch a hair on Eggsy’s head. Harry would amputate both hands immediately.

Harry smiles. “I think that’s a bit of his own fantasy talking.” Merlin draws a sharp breath. “Yes, I think my story about you and I in the Alps has started a secret little Merlin file in the back of his brain.”

“Your boy.” Merlin sighs and shakes his head, although he’s secretly flattered. “Well, if we all live through this, tell him I’ll do whatever he wants.”

“I think not,” Harry says lightly. “I believe I have a say in all that.”

“You’re not Arthur in the bedroom, are you?”

“That’s for me to know and for you to never find out.” Harry gives him a warm hug.

Merlin closes his eyes for a moment and allows his friend to embrace him. “I’m thankful for friends like the three of you,” he says finally. 

“And we are thankful for you.” Harry cups the back of his head for a moment. “As is Kingsman.” He goes to the door and motions for Eggsy and James to come back in.

“So.” James turns to Merlin. “You will report everything. And even if you do report, I’m going to be questioning you daily. Not just for your own safety, but for the experiment.”

“So now I’m an experiment,” Merlin says, rolling his eyes.

“You brought this on yerself, guv,” Eggsy snaps. “You could be steppin’ on a fuckin’ landmine here.”

“I doubt this will make my head explode, Eggsy.”

“We don’t know that.”

“Just…communicate. Like I said,” Harry reminds Merlin. 

“You all act like I don’t realize what I’ve done. While the initial act was a bit…spontaneous, I admit, I realized what could happen. I, unlike certain other people, pay attention when smart science agents talk.” He gives Eggsy a pointed glare. “I knew what might occur, knew what I was getting into. I don’t want to do anything stupid, I don’t want to hurt anyone. But I honestly feel I’m the best candidate. The last date I even wanted to go on was in nineteen ninety-eight.”

“Oh yes,” Harry and James say as one. Eggsy stares at them.

“What? It wasn’t that disastrous,” Merlin protests. They snort as one. “Shut up. Anyway, I’m not involved with anyone. It will be fine. And I’ll report until I’m blue in the face.”

“James, this goes no further than your team,” Harry orders. “Same with you, Merlin. Explain it to Penelope and no one else. We don’t need anyone’s nose in this that doesn’t belong.”

“Agreed,” James says as Merlin nods.

Eggsy looks at Merlin and sighs. “Ya know, I’m the one that walks around here waitin’ for the other shoe ta drop. I keep expectin’ ‘arry to roll over in bed one day an’ tell me I’m not fit to be Kingsman.”

“Eggsy!” Harry gasps.

“It’s true. But this…fuck, Merlin, it feels like job security to me. Thank you.”

Merlin bursts out laughing, the exact thing he needed to do. “Oh, Christ, lad, you’re too much.”

“I’ll get my team together and prepare them.” James squeezes Merlin’s shoulder and leaves the lab.

“You know,” Harry says, looking at Eggsy. “We were just saying yesterday that it’s been far too long since you came to dinner.”

“Absolutely.” Eggsy nods. “How about Sunday? I’ll cook.”

“If you’re cooking, I will definitely be there.” Merlin sags against the table. “This was not how I expected my day to go.”

“No one expected you to volunteer for a love drug experiment,” Eggsy points out.

“It is not a “love drug experiment.” Jesus Christ, Eggsy.” Harry shakes his head.

“Let’s go back to my office. I know it’s early, but I could really use something stronger than tea right now,” Merlin says. He’s already exhausted and it’s not even lunchtime yet. 

“That sounds perfect,” Harry says. He holds the door for the other two.

“So yer tellin’ us ya never had any…thoughts…about anyone in Kingsman?” Eggsy asks Merlin as they head down the hall.

“No.”

“How about actual, you know, trysts, or somethin’.”

“Trysts?” Harry looks at him. “Have you been reading one of your mother’s romance novels again?”

“Fuck off,” Eggsy growls at him. “I was bored one time and now I never hear the end of it. C’mon, Merlin…there’s no one here that ya shagged once? After a mission…feelin’ that adrenaline rush?”

“You are ridiculous,” Harry snaps. 

“Sadly, no,” Merlin says with a sigh. “There was only one time, when…”

“Fuck!” Eggsy says happily, jogging down the hall.

“This is JUST what we need,” Merlin grumbles.

Alan is leaning against Merlin’s closed door. “The club had a meeting and I wasn’t invited?”

“Percival. Great to see you, mate.” Eggsy gives him a warm hug.

“Tristan.” Alan quickly releases him. “Arthur…Merlin.”

“Hello, Percival,” Harry says with a sigh. He exchanges glances with Merlin, who shrugs. “Please come in. We need to speak with you.”

“All right.” Alan leads the way into Merlin’s office.

Merlin heads straight to the bar. He knows it’s still difficult for Harry to face Alan after the confession on the day they were to leave on their honeymoon, but Alan’s been nothing but a gentleman around Eggsy ever since. It’s as if his feelings were never expressed. Perhaps he didn’t even have them anymore. One never knew with Alan. But in all honesty Merlin’s glad to have him around, as he often has an interesting outlook on things that proves very helpful.

“Alan, I know it’s not too early for you.” Merlin pours three glasses. “Eggsy?”

“Fuck yes.” Eggsy waits for Alan and Harry to sit before he flops down on Merlin’s sofa. “Thanks.”

Merlin hands the glasses around and pours one of his own. “To…”

“Incredibly stupid decisions made for all the right reasons,” Harry interrupts.

Merlin gives him a small smile. “Yes. To that.”

Alan shoots back the liquor before saying, “I feel like I’ve missed something quite important.”

“Well,” Merlin begins.

“No. Yer not tellin’ this story. I’m gonna tell it, because you will make it sound fuckin’ ridiculous, except, well, it IS fuckin’ ridiculous.” Eggsy gulps down his alcohol and slams the glass on the desk. “All right then, try an’ keep up. Me an’ Kay go on a mission. We retrieve some sort of chemical but we don’t know what the fuck it is. We get some paperwork, too, but I stupidly let the two pricks in charge get away. Ector reads everythin’ and decides it’s some sort of drug that goes right to the part of the brain that deals with sex an’ love an’ attraction an’ all that. But the arseholes never got around ta testin’ it on people. Since the big bosses are out there an’ could make more, we need to know what it does like fuckin’ yesterday. I offer to shoot myself up with it an’ am QUICKLY vetoed.” Eggsy glares at Harry. “An’ then while we’re discussin’ it like grown adults, Merlin ups and grabs a needle and fuckin’ STICKS HIMSELF IN THE ARM WITH IT. And here we are.” Eggsy pours himself another drink.

Alan looks at the three of them and bursts into laughter. They stare at him. “Oh, pardon me.” He wipes his eyes. “Wait. That’s what really happened?”

“Yes,” Eggsy says at the same time Merlin and Harry say, “NO.”

“You were NOT discussing it like adults, you were arguing like children,” Merlin says.

“And as far as the drug goes…Ector said it basically amps up your brain’s urges when it comes to attraction, lust, and attachment,” Harry corrects. “So Merlin could decide he wants someone and attack them. He could become attracted to someone and stalk them. He could become insanely jealous and hurt someone who’s WITH that person.”

“But since Merlin isn’t interested in anyone at Kingsman, they are overreacting,” Merlin finishes.

“So hot when you talk about yourself in the third person,” Alan coos at him. “You should have called me.”

“That’s what I said!” Eggsy exclaims. “And I was vetoed yet again.”

“Since Merlin says he has no intentions or attraction to anyone in Kingsman, he took it upon himself to take the drug,” Harry explains.

“Right.” Alan looks at Merlin. “How do you feel?”

“Annoyed that everyone’s so worked up. But I appreciate their concern.”

“If you need me at any time, please do not hesitate to call,” Alan tells him, and Merlin can tell he’s serious. “To talk, whatever.”

“Thank you, Alan,” Merlin says softly. 

“We ask for your discretion with this, Percival,” Harry says. “No one is to know outside the science department and Merlin’s second in command.”

“Of course,” Alan says immediately. “And I’m only around until you find something else for me to do, Harry.”

“I’m sure I can come up with something,” Harry says immediately. “All right, let’s go. Merlin has work to do, I’m sure. And I know Tristan is behind on a few things.”

“Fuck,” Eggsy mutters. “Good to see you, Alan. Talk to you later, Merlin.” He brushes Harry’s lips with his own and leaves the office.

“Merlin, please contact me if you sense any changes. Good to see you, Percival.” Harry leaves the office before Alan can reply.

Alan meets Merlin’s gaze. “He basically had a heart attack when Eggsy suggested me, didn’t he?”

“Pretty much. And I might have called you a walking erection to cover it up,” Merlin admits, not at all sorry. Alan laughs, as Merlin expected he would. 

“He’s never told Eggsy what I said?” Merlin shakes his head. “Good.” Alan sighs as he looks at Merlin. “You, my friend, are never boring.”

“I try. Now get out of here so I can get to work.”

“I meant what I said. If you need anything, call.”

“If you’re looking for sex, Alan…”

“I’m always looking for sex. Walking erection and all that. But I won’t interfere with your “experiment.” I just want to help a friend.” Alan gives him a sincere smile. “Plus, in all honesty, this is the most insane thing I’ve ever heard, I can’t believe you fucking did it, and I want a front row seat for the shitshow.”

“THAT’S the Percival I know and tolerate. OUT.” Merlin points to the door.


	4. Chapter 4

FOUR

Merlin’s not surprised to find a summons from Harry on his computer as soon as he arrives the next morning. He takes his time, makes a cup of tea, and finally wanders down to Harry’s office. “Good morning, Arthur, sir,” he says respectfully as he takes a seat across from Harry.

“Sir? You haven’t called me sir in…I don’t think you’ve EVER called me sir.” Harry studies him suspiciously.

“You ARE Arthur,” Merlin points out.

“And you’ve never cared,” Harry shoots back.

Merlin grins. “I’m just trying to get a rise out of you, Harry, relax.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Fine. Tired of everyone asking me how I’m feeling.” Merlin makes a face. It’s barely been twenty-four hours and he’s had five texts from Eggsy, twelve texts from James, and a late night phone call from Alan. 

“We care about you.”

“I know. Nothing like a rash decision to inject a love drug to help you find out who your friends are.”

“For God’s sake, stop calling it a love drug,” Harry says in exasperation. Merlin merely grins and sips at his tea. “Idiot.”

“I slept like a rock last night. I went home early this morning to pick up a few things…cleared that with James last night. But otherwise, I’m fine.” Merlin looks at Harry. “Is that a new suit?”

“Yes.” Harry blushes a bit. “Eggsy always likes me in the dark blue. He put this one together, actually.”

“He has good taste. Looks good on you.” 

“Thank you.” Harry blushes a bit darker. 

Merlin has to smile. For an obviously handsome man, Harry never handles compliments well. “Is there anything else you needed? We got the plans in for the lighter grenade upgrades and I was planning on burying myself in that for most of the morning.”

“No, of course. Just wanted to check on you.”

“I promise, Harry, if I feel anything out of the ordinary, I’ll let you know.” Merlin stands.

Harry sighs. “I know. I do trust you, Merlin.”

“Thank you. I’ll update you on the lighters later.” 

He literally runs into Eggsy outside Harry’s door and almost spills his tea. “For God’s sake, Tristan, watch where you’re going!” Merlin snaps angrily. “Arthur’s not going anywhere.”

Eggsy’s eyes widen. “I’m…I’m sorry, Merlin. You’re right, I was rushin’, which wasn’t necessary. Did you burn yourself?” He looks Merlin over. 

Merlin sighs. “No, I’m fine. I didn’t mean to bite your head off.”

“It’s all right. I wasn’t goin’ to see Arthur, anyway…on my way to the garage an’ decided to cut through here.”

“Nice work on Harry’s suit. He looks amazing.”

“Doesn’t he?” Eggsy’s smile is radiant. “Though, in my very biased opinion, he’d look good in a paper bag.”

“Probably,” Merlin says, rolling his eyes. “Well, I’m off to find new ways to blow things up. Have a good day.”

“Sorry again, Merlin.” Eggsy gives his shoulder a slight pat and walks on down the hall.

 

“I love when we get to do this.” Eggsy unwraps a sandwich and puts it in front of Harry along with a cold drink and a cup of soup. “It’s like a picnic.”

“You don’t need to serve me,” Harry points out. “I can open my own lunch.”

“You LIKE when I serve ya, don’t you?” Eggsy says, wiggling his eyebrows. 

“Don’t start that,” Harry growls, but he moves his chair around the desk to give Eggsy a kiss. 

“We need to take advantage of this while we can. Ya know something’s gonna come up that will send me out in the field again.” Eggsy opens his own sandwich. “Jesus, is Mike tryin’ to make me fat? Look at the size of this thing.”

“I’ll help you work it off,” Harry promises.

“I’m countin’ on it.”

“I don’t see anything that’s up your alley right now, but Merlin is the literal magician when it comes to that.”

“Too true,” Eggsy says. Merlin has an amazing knack for assessing a mission and matching just the right agents. “Speaking of agents sittin’ around, should we invite Alan to dinner on Sunday?”

“No,” Harry says almost too quickly. “I mean…I just want to focus on Merlin right now. I think you understand.”

“Course,” Eggsy says. “Just a thought. Will ya continue puttin’ Alan out in long-term missions, or will he start doin’ like regular stuff?”

“I haven’t really thought about it,” Harry says. Someone knocks on the door. “Come in.”

Merlin pokes his head in. He takes in Harry’s food-filled desk and his face falls. “Oh, I’m interrupting. I’ll…come back.”

“No, come in, Merlin.” Harry waves him in. 

“I didn’t even realize it was lunchtime,” Merlin admits. 

“You need ta eat. Here, have half of mine. Mike apparently thinks I’m starvin’. We’ll pull up a chair.” Eggsy stands and pulls another chair to the side of Harry’s desk. Instead of sitting there, Merlin sits in the one Eggsy vacated, next to Harry. Eggsy shrugs and sits in the new chair, dividing up the sandwich. “Here.” He pushes the food at Merlin.

“Thank you, Eggsy,” Merlin says. “Are you sure I’m not interrupting? I just wanted to report on the grenade situation,” he says to Harry.

Harry glances at Eggsy, who shakes his head. Eggsy appreciates the gesture; if he’d really wanted them to be alone, Harry would have found a reason for Merlin to come back later. “No, go ahead.” Harry eats some of his soup. “Just forgive me for eating while you talk.”

“Please do.” Merlin places a piece of paper out of harm’s way. “THIS is what we’ve always done, and this is what I think we CAN do.” He begins to go into detail about the upgrades without sounding too technical.

Eggsy studies Merlin as he talks, enjoying the animated way he throws his hands around. He barely eats the sandwich Eggsy’s given him and instead focuses on Harry. Merlin loves his job and it’s one of the most attractive things about him. “Jesus, Merlin,” Eggsy says when Merlin finally takes a breath. “Yer amazin’.”

Merlin does a double-take, as if he’d forgotten Eggsy was even there. “Amazing?”

“You just…know stuff. And what you don’t know, ya learn so fuckin’ quick.” Eggsy balls up the rubbish from his lunch. “Impressive, that’s all.”

“Thank you.” Merlin looks at Harry. 

“This IS amazing for one morning’s work. It sounds like we can efficiently upgrade the grenades without it costing us an arm and a leg. Do whatever it takes, Merlin. Thank you for working so hard on this.”

“Of course.” Merlin smiles bashfully.

Eggsy’s actually startled. He’s never seen Merlin act this way about his work. He usually makes everything sound like just another walk in the park. “Take that with you,” he says, pointing to Merlin’s untouched food. “You need yer strength if yer gonna work like this all day.”

“Not ALL day,” Harry says pointedly. “You’re to check in with Ector at two.”

“Christ,” Merlin groans, glaring at him. “I suppose it does me no good to…”

“It absolutely does you no good,” Harry interrupts.

“Wanker,” Merlin mumbles and Eggsy laughs.

“I love when someone else calls him that.”

“I’m the only one who SHOULD be allowed to call him that,” Merlin says to Eggsy, eyes narrowing. “Oldest friend and all that.” He stands.

“Well, it’s part of the husband privilege,” Eggsy says. “I have it in writin’. I can call ‘arry whatever I want.”

“I don’t know about THAT,” Harry says. “Thank you again, Merlin.”

“Of course. See you later.” Merlin wraps up his food and leaves.

Harry gets up and walks around the desk. He waits for Eggsy to stand as well before giving him a passionate kiss. “What’s that for?” Eggsy says breathlessly, not that he minds.

“Because you’re a good friend, looking out for him like that.”

“He’s good people, ‘arry. Fuckin’ aces. But you can kiss me like that any time you like.”

“And I will.” Harry kisses him again.

 

“See? I’m fine.” Merlin rolls down his sleeve. “My blood pressure’s good. My body temperature is normal. I even ate lunch…ask Tristan and Arthur.”

“You’re absolutely right. My only problem is that you work too damn hard, Merlin.” James enters Merlin’s vitals into his computer. “It’s even worse now that we’ve pretty much quarantined you to HQ. You should get outside. Maybe go for a walk. It’s a nice day.” 

“Hmm.” Merlin walks over to the window. He sees Tor and Eggsy walking up from the test track, deep into an obviously involved discussion about something automotive. Merlin snorts to himself. Harry should just take the boy out of the field, stick him in the garage, and be done with it. He’d do more good there than anything else, and then Harry could stop worrying about him all the time. Merlin then notices Harry and Agent Kay walking from the side of the building. Harry has a hand on Kay’s shoulder and his face is serious. Merlin slowly smiles. Harry really is the best Arthur Kingsman’s seen in years.

“Are you listening to me, Merlin?”

“Of course. Quarantine. Get outside,” Merlin parrots.

“Idiot.”

“Just proving I was listening,” Merlin says cheerfully. “I’m sorry, James. I know it’s frustrating. When I’m trying to explain new tech and agents like Tristan have their mind in the clouds I want to bang heads together.”

“We know where Agent Tristan’s head usually is,” James says with a grin.

“Yes.” Merlin doesn’t smile back. “I think I might take you up on that suggestion, James. I’ll be outside if you need me.”

As soon as Merlin gets out of the building he’s thankful for James’ idea. The air is warm and sweet and the sun is bright without being too hot. He inhales deeply and sighs. Beautiful. He really should be doing this more often. He heads for where he’d last seen Harry and meets him on the path with Kay.

“Merlin?” Harry actually looks shocked.

“Didn’t think you came out into the light of day, Merlin,” Kay teases.

“I’m not a vampire,” Merlin protests. They look at each other. “Ha bloody ha. Am I interrupting?”

“No. Agent Kay just needed to get his head out of his arse,” Harry says affectionately.

“And Arthur is always the man to do that.” Kay gives his boss a shy grin. “Thank you, sir.”

“Of course, Kay. Any other concerns please come see me.”

Kay nods. “Afternoon, sir. Merlin.” He heads on his way.

“Everything all right?” 

“Yes. He’s feeling as guilty as Eggsy about the mission. Feels that he should have been able to stop the two men from getting away, even though he was busy fighting three of their minions in the corridor.” 

“Why is it every agent we send into the field thinks they’re supposed to be Superman?” Merlin asks.

“I never acted that way.”

Merlin snorts so hard he actually chokes a bit. “Ahem. Excuse me.”

“Fuck off,” Harry snaps and Merlin laughs. “I’m still a bit shocked you’re outside, Merlin.”

“I do know how to use a door, Harry,” Merlin says. “James suggested it. I saw you walking and thought I’d come out to say hello.”

“You know I always welcome your company.” They start to head down the path. “God knows I invade your privacy enough whenever Eggsy’s on assignment.”

“Now, Harry, you…”

“I know full well I interrupt your work on a fairly regular basis, Merlin, and you’re too kind to kick me out.”

“Your presence in my office is never an interruption, Harry,” Merlin tells him. “I mean that.” Merlin looks into Harry’s eyes, a shiver racing down his spine. He frowns and shakes himself a bit. Must be windier than he’d thought.

“Look at what we have here!” A cheerful voice calls.

“Speaking of interruptions,” Merlin mutters. Harry gives him an odd look. 

“My two favorite men on the planet,” Eggsy says when he’s close enough to speak quietly and have them hear him. “What are you two up to?”

“Nothing,” Merlin says. “Just talking.”

“Everything all right?” Eggsy frowns as he studies Merlin’s face. “Don’t see you outside much.”

“So I’m gathering,” Merlin says. Eggsy continues to frown. “I’m fine, lad. Just out for some fresh air. We’ll call it doctor’s orders.”

Eggsy moves to walk on Merlin’s other side. “Found the best recipe to try out on ya, Merlin. Chicken and this sauce with mushrooms.”

“You don’t like mushrooms,” Harry reminds him.

Eggsy gives him an exasperated look. “I know that, ‘arry, Jesus. Merlin loves mushrooms, though, don’t ya, Merlin?”

“Yes, I do.”

“He’s the guest, so he gets mushrooms.” Eggsy shrugs. “I can pick them out.”

Merlin stops walking. “You’re very thoughtful, lad.” Affection washes over him, taking the place of the odd shivers.

Eggsy shrugs again. “Just happy yer comin’ over. Gets borin’ spoilin’ ‘arry all the time. Need a new victim.”

“Boring? I’ll remember that,” Harry says.

“I do not hear this.” Merlin covers his ears. “What’s that? Oh, my work calling me. I’m hearing that, NOT your disastrous flirting.”

“I don’t flirt. I’m a married man,” Harry protests.

Eggsy snickers and Merlin rolls his eyes. “You tell yourself that. I’m back to work.”

Merlin quickly strides away with Eggsy’s laughter in his ears. He wonders why it suddenly irritates him so much.


	5. Chapter 5

“Something smells good in here.” Harry sniffs the air appreciatively as he enters the kitchen. “Oh, and there’s dinner, too.”

“Cute.” Eggsy says over his shoulder. His eyes rake over Harry. “You look nice.”

“I always look nice.” Harry looks down at his dark green shirt and trousers. “I like wearing this shirt. I remember the first time I wore it around you.”

“Mmm, so do I.” Eggsy walks away from the stove to stand in front of Harry. “I told you how much I loved seeing a peek of your chest.” He kisses right above the vee of the neckline. “Still do.”

“I like giving you things you love.” Harry takes the spatula from Eggsy’s hand, puts it on the table and pulls him in for a tender kiss. “I like giving you things, period.”

“Sappy tonight, aren’t you?” But Harry can tell Eggsy loves it.

“Good mood, I suppose. Sexy husband cooking dinner in his tightest tee, good friend coming over…it should be a nice evening.” Harry goes to the cupboard to start setting the table.

“I hate to disappoint you, but this is NOT my tightest tee.” Eggsy returns to the stove. “It’s one of my oldest, though. Don’t like wearing good clothes to cook, since I always seem to get as much food on me as I do in the pan.”

Harry studies Eggsy’s back for a moment. The shirt is old, cotton worn thin by years of washing. Eggsy’s track pants sit a bit low on his slender hips, and the fabric of the shirt pulls tight over his muscular back. Harry places a stack of plates on the table and pulls a kitchen towel out of a drawer. He carefully lays it out on the counter. “How’s dinner coming along?”

“Great. We told Merlin quarter past six, and I think this will be done a little before.”

Harry checks the clock. 6:00. “Anything you need me to do?”

“No, nothing to do but wait now, thanks, luv.”

“All right then.” Harry presses himself against Eggsy’s back, grabbing him by the hips. His hands slide up to pinch his nipples through the thin fabric.

“Harry!” Eggsy gasps. “What are you doing?”

“Appetizer.” Harry spins Eggsy around, shoves down his pants and lifts him by the waist. He sets him down on the towel.

“Harry!” Eggsy says again, this time almost a squeal. Harry yanks a chair over and sits in front of him. “We can’t…Merlin…he’s usually…fuck, ‘arry…usually early.” Eggsy’s head hits a cupboard door as Harry strokes him to immediate hardness.

“Well, you’d better come in my mouth pretty damn quick, then.” Harry takes Eggsy as deep as he can, tongue slithering along his length.

“Fuck…’arry…can’t believe…” Eggsy arches into Harry as Harry’s hand joins his mouth.

“I remember you…doing this to me…that first week…” Harry manages between lewd slurps. 

“Yes, ‘arry…after you’d stroked me off on your lap…sweet JESUS ‘arry yes!” Eggsy almost yells as Harry’s tongue finds his balls.

“I wanted to jump off the counter and just fuck your mouth,” Harry tells him as he pulls back to stroke him. He allows the head of Eggsy’s cock to barely touch his tongue.

“Please, ‘arry…please…” Eggsy begs. He looks at the clock. “He could be here any minute.”

“He knows the security protocol,” Harry reminds him. “He could walk in right now…could catch you with your cock in my mouth.”

“Oh, fuck, ‘arry,” Eggsy gasps, hands clenching the edge of the counter.

“You like that idea, don’t you, my filthy little boy.” Harry finally takes Eggsy all the way in, not stopping until Eggsy hits the back of his throat. He does this a few times and pulls away. His hand moves fast, thumb flicking over the head of Eggsy’s cock. “You want him to catch us? Want him to walk in here, see me sucking you? Maybe he’d come over here, pull me off, and suck you himself.”

“Fuck!” Eggsy screams. He grabs Harry’s hair and shoves him down, coming into his mouth. “Oh, fuck, ‘arry…”

Harry makes sure Eggsy’s a trembling mess on the counter before he finally pulls away. He gets himself a drink of water, pats his hair down and smiles sweetly at Eggsy. The doorbell rings and his eyes widen. “Pity. A few seconds too late.”

“You…are a fuckin’ PRICK, Harry Hart.” Eggsy’s hands shake as he slides off the counter and tries to put himself back together. “I will so get you for this.”

“I look forward to it. Don’t worry. I’ll stall him at the door.” Harry whistles as he heads for the front door.

 

“Merlin.” Harry’s smile is broad as he opens the door. “So good to see you.”

“Thanks for having me,” Merlin says. He studies Harry for a moment. He looks…used. His cheeks are flushed, his hair is a bit mussed, and his lips are red and swollen. Normally Merlin would make a smart comment, but for once he has nothing to say. He looks over the rest of Harry. He’s wearing a pair of grey trousers and a dark green shirt that brings out his eyes. “I feel…underdressed.” He looks down at his jumper and jeans.

“You’re fine. No dress code here. You know that.” Harry steps aside so Merlin can enter.

“You look…very nice. That color…good on you.”

“Thank you.” Harry blushes a bit. “It’s one of Eggsy’s favorites. Can I get you a drink before dinner? It’s almost done, I was just about to set the table.”

“That would be nice, thank you. May I help?”

“No. You’re a guest. Please sit at the table in the kitchen. I’ll make our drinks.” Harry heads for the parlor while Merlin goes on to the kitchen.

“Merlin!” Eggsy comes from the stove to hug him as Eliza yips at his feet. “Good to see you.”

Merlin looks at Eggsy’s tight shirt and track pants. “Guess Harry was right…no dress code here.” He bends down to pet Eliza. “Hello, pretty girl.”

“Well, I was cookin’…” Eggsy gives him a strange look. “Don’t normally dress up for that.”

“Of course,” Merlin says immediately. “I wouldn’t know…can barely make a pot of pasta.” He sits at the table.

“I doubt that,” Eggsy says. “Smart man like you? Cooking would be easy. I could teach you, if you’d like.”

“Maybe,” Merlin says. “I’ll leave all that to you. You’re amazing in the kitchen, lad.”

“Thanks,” Eggsy says, shrugging. “More fun when I’m cooking for someone else, you know?”

“Well, sometimes I wish you’d stop having so much fun.” Harry comes into the kitchen and hands Merlin his drink. Harry pats his stomach. “Your fun is making me put on weight.”

“You’re perfect,” Merlin and Eggsy say at the same time. Merlin looks down at his lap. Eggsy laughs.

“See? Unanimous opinion, luv.” He gives Harry a kiss. “Food’s about ready. I’ll just serve from here.” Harry hands him plates and he quickly dishes up their meal. Harry sits on Merlin’s left with Eggsy on his right.

“Thank you again, Eggsy. I appreciate you taking all this trouble.” Merlin picks up his knife and fork.

“Not trouble,” Eggsy insists. He puts a hand on Merlin’s arm. “And believe me, this wasn’t just cuz of the whole love drug thing. We was gonna invite you anyway.”

“It’s not…can we please stop calling it that?” Harry begs.

“No,” Eggsy says with a grin. “Primarily because ya hate it.” He turns back to Merlin. “I hope ya know yer always welcome here, Merlin. We need to do this more often.”

“I appreciate that, lad.” Merlin smiles at him. “I never expected you’d turn into all this.”

“Turn into it?”

“Look at you. Where you came from…where you are now…here in Harry’s house.” Merlin shakes his head. “You are a Kingsman success story, and I’m proud of you.”

“It’s not just my house anymore,” Harry reminds him. “It’s our house now.”

“Of course,” Merlin says. 

“No!” Eggsy says sharply. Merlin turns to look at him. “Sorry. Eliza. She likes to beg from the table.” Eggsy looks down. “Go to your bed. Uncle Merlin will talk to you later.” Eliza whimpers and heads for her bed in the corner.

“Uncle Merlin?” Merlin’s eyebrows raise.

“Oh, don’t ask. I’ve somehow become that dog’s Da.” Harry shakes head.  
“Do NOT act like you don’t love it. Merlin, you don’t know how many times I’ve come home and found these two asleep on a chair in the telly room.” Eggsy points his fork at Harry. “It’s adorable. And I have photographic evidence.”

“That does sound adorable,” Merlin says with a laugh. “So you’re a snuggler, Harry.”

“Oh, he IS,” Eggsy tells him.

“I remember,” Merlin says softly, giving Harry a wink. Harry clears his throat and cuts more of his chicken. “Speaking of dogs, Harry, do you remember that mission in Mumbai…well, it was Bombay back then. That scary beast that jumped you in the alley.”

“Christ, that thing was massive.” Harry shudders. “Came out of nowhere.”

“It did NOT come out of nowhere. You thought you could sweet talk it into settling enough for us to get around.” Merlin chuckles. “That didn’t happen.”

“What did happen?” Eggsy says eagerly.

“Your husband got a nice chunk snapped out of his calf.” Merlin slides his chair back and bends down to lift the leg of Harry’s trousers. He slides his fingers up Harry’s right calf, gently cradling the muscle in his hand. “See this scar?” His thumb gently rubs over the puckered skin. Harry’s leg twitches a bit and Merlin snatches his hand away.

“You told me that was from when you had to climb over a barbed wire fence!” Eggsy says accusingly.

“Now, now, Harry, is that any way to treat your husband? Lying to him like that,” Merlin says in a mocking tone. “One would think you didn’t love him.”

“Yeah, ‘arry, one would think that.” Eggsy reaches across Merlin to poke Harry in the hand with his fork. “Any other scars I need to know about? I’ve seen ‘em all but apparently don’t know the true stories.”

“Well, let me think.” Merlin continues to eat, studying Harry as he does so.

“Merlin,” Harry says in a warning tone. Eggsy actually claps his hands and laughs.

Merlin rolls his eyes, but Eggsy can’t see it. “What did he tell you about the one here?” Merlin touches Harry’s shoulder.

“Knife fight in Bangladesh,” Eggsy promptly answers.

“Correct. And this one?” Merlin wriggles his hand between Harry and the back of the chair, resting his hand on the small of Harry’s back.

“Fell out of a car in Morocco.”

“Right. How about the one that’s right…here?” Merlin points to his own body, hand between his left hip and his groin.”

“Uh…” Eggsy pauses. “Dunno about that one. Usually too busy gettin’ down ta business if I’m lookin’ at that one.”

“Really, Eggsy.” Merlin rolls his eyes again. “Grazed by a bullet in Panama. Had to patch that one up myself.” Merlin smiles at the memory of Harry grasping his hand as Merlin sewed the wound shut. He blinks a bit as fire suddenly dances up his spine. “So, yes. Sounds like you know most of the stories.”

“Maybe someday I’ll have stories like that to tell,” Eggsy says with a sigh.

“I would hope not!” Harry growls. “I prefer you in one piece WITHOUT a map of scars, thank you.”

“Come on, Harry. The boy wants to be a good Kingsman. Nothing wrong with that.” Merlin claps Eggsy on the back. “Speaking of Panama…that was a fun one, wasn’t it?”

“Until it went tits up and I got shot,” Harry snaps. Then he smiles. “Yes, it was. Do you remember when we had to vault that wall?”

“Jesus Christ, yes. Not all of us have legs that long, Harry Hart. I couldn’t believe it when you sprung over that thing.”

Harry laughs and continues the story. Eggsy just sits with his chin in his hands and watches them as they go back and forth. Merlin almost forgets he’s there until he stands and starts clearing their plates. “Oh, sorry, Eggsy, let me help.” Merlin jumps to his feet and picks up his plate as well as Harry’s. 

“Sit down, you berk. I got this. You two keep talkin’. I love hearin’ these war stories.”

“It must bore you…I mean, you weren’t even alive yet for some of this, were you?” Merlin points out.

Eggsy shrugs. “It’s Kingsman. I’m Kingsman. It’s part of my history, too, in a way.”

“Yes, of course. Well, if you don’t need my help.” Merlin sits back down.

Eggsy puts the dishes in the sink and comes back to the table for the rest. “Coffee, luv? Tea?” He stands behind Harry and kisses the top of his head.

“I’m fine. Merlin?”

“No. Fine.” Merlin feels himself clenching his fists as his heart begins to race. 

“Are you all right?” Harry gives him an odd look.

“Of course.” He rubs at his forehead. “I’m sorry to say, Eggsy, I don’t have anything in the pipeline right now that will earn you the battle scars you so desperately want.”

“It’s all right, guv. My time will come.” Eggsy shrugs and goes back to the sink.

“And, you know, perhaps the field isn’t the right place for you, anyway. There are many ways to earn honor as a Kingsman without getting shot at.”

“Exactly my point,” Harry says. “THANK you, Merlin.”

“What do you mean, the field ain’t the right place for me?” Eggsy turns around to face the table, crossing his arms over his chest.

“It’s how most young people are, really. They hear stories and think war and action sound very exciting, but it’s not. Especially the way Harry and I had to deal with it. We had very little tech back then, and were forced to rely on our intuition and wits. Nowadays…I hate to say you have it made, but you’re very lucky.”

“Too true,” Harry agrees. He chuckles. “I would love to see you navigate your way out of a jungle with just a compass.”

“I think I’ve proven m’self in the field already,” Eggsy says sullenly. “An’ are ya sayin’ ya don’t think I could find my way out of a paper bag or somethin’, ‘arry?”

“Don’t pout, my boy.” Harry gets up to hug his husband. “I’m not saying that at all.”

“And I’m not either, really,” Merlin says hastily, trying to ignore the itching feeling in his hands. “I just know you have varied talents and…” He snaps his fingers. “I have it. Let me look at a few things tomorrow, but I think I have the very thing to keep you occupied until a fitting mission comes along.” He jumps to his feet and walks over to the couple, moving in close enough that Harry has to step aside. He puts his hands on Eggsy’s shoulders. “Trust me, all right? You have so much to offer, and I promise I was NOT trying to insinuate that you’re not a good field agent.”

“Thanks, Merlin.” Eggsy’s sunny smile is back on his face again. “I do trust you. With my life, if you’ll recall.”

“A very great gift,” Merlin say softly. He pulls Eggsy in for a brief hug, inhaling the scent of Harry’s cologne that lingers on the younger man’s shirt. “And now I will say my farewell.”

“See ya tomorrow.” Eggsy hugs him back.

“Thank you again for the delicious meal, Eggsy.”

“I’ll walk you out.” Harry allows Merlin to precede him down the hall. 

“Thank you for having me over,” Merlin says as they reach the door. He realizes he doesn’t want to leave but has no excuse to stay. “Harry…” He turns to look at his oldest friend. Harry leans against the railing of the stairs and gives him a quizzical look.

“What is it, Merlin?”

“Nothing. I…domesticity looks good on you.”

“Domesticity?” Harry chuckles. “You make me sound like a lap dog.”

“Well…you are at your boy’s beck and call, aren’t you? He says jump, you say how high…”

“Not quite like that,” Harry says with a frown.

“Isn’t it? Not the dashing and independent Harry Hart I used to know,” Merlin points out. “Most men our age buy a sports car when they have a mid-life crisis. They don’t usually get married.”

“So I got married because of a mid-life crisis?”

“Not saying that at all. Just…nothing. Ramblings of another old man, one who does NOT have a delicious and eager young thing warming his bed.” Merlin gives Harry a hug, molding his body as close as he dares. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yes.” Harry holds the door open. “Have a good evening.”

 

Merlin actually goes to his home for once instead of back to HQ. He gets ready for bed, prepares a nightcap, and settles in to the study that doubles as his home office. After a very brief moment of hesitation he brings up the video feed from Harry’s house. He finds the recording for the kitchen and goes back to the half-hour before he’d arrived. 

He watches the witty back and forth between Eggsy and Harry, and then his eyes widen as Harry bares Eggsy from the waist down and puts him on the counter. Eggsy squeals and says, “We can’t…Merlin…he’s usually…fuck, ‘arry…usually early.”

“Well, you’d better come in my mouth pretty damn quick, then,” Harry says.

Merlin’s eyes are glued to the screen as Harry sucks Eggsy, bringing him quickly to a state of complete destruction. “Please, ‘arry…please…” Eggsy begs. He looks at the clock. “He could be here any minute.”

“He knows the security protocol,” Harry reminds him. “He could walk in right now…could catch you with your cock in my mouth.”

“Oh, fuck, ‘arry,” Eggsy gasps, hands clenching the edge of the counter.

“You like that idea, don’t you, my filthy little boy. You want him to catch us? Want him to walk in here, see me sucking you? Maybe he’d come over here, pull me off, and suck you himself.”

Merlin hardens instantly at Harry’s words, shivering as they do what was intended and make Eggsy come hard and fast into Harry’s mouth. Merlin groans and palms himself through his trousers. He knows this is a horrible invasion of privacy, that he absolutely should not be watching this. He has never once watched Eggsy and Harry in an intimate moment but he cannot stop himself. He hears the doorbell through the camera and realizes this all occurred just before he arrived. That’s why Harry had answered the door looking VERY well-used.

Harry gets himself a drink of water, pats his hair down and smiles at Eggsy. “Pity. A few seconds too late.”

“You…are a fuckin’ PRICK, Harry Hart. I will so get you for this.”

“You shouldn’t speak to your elders and betters like that, lad,” Merlin says out loud. He turns off the camera feed and stares at the dark monitor. He strokes himself until he comes, but it’s not with the image of taking Harry’s place in the kitchen, as Harry had mentioned to Eggsy. It’s with the fantasy of taking Eggsy’s place instead. “Fuck,” he whispers as he falls back into the chair. His phone rings and he jumps.

“Merlin. Are you all right? Your vitals just spiked…your heart rate is through the roof.” 

“Yes, James, I’m fine. Spilled some hot tea on my hands, that’s all. Thank you for checking.” He disconnects the call and closes his eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

Merlin’s into his third cup of tea when Eggsy arrives at his office the next morning. “All right?” Eggsy asks, poking his head in the door. “Know ya didn’t call for me yet, but I was walkin’ by. I can come back.”

“No. It’s fine.” Merlin stands and stretches. “I’ve been here since six. I need a break.” 

“Christ, Merlin. We need to find ya a girlfriend or boyfriend or somethin’. This bein’ married to yer job isn’t healthy.” Eggsy quickly walks over and begins to massage the back of Merlin’s neck. “Wait. Sit down.” He gently pushes Merlin back into his chair. 

Merlin moans as Eggsy’s thumbs run up and down the tight cords of his neck. They move down into his shoulders a bit. “That feels good.” He sighs, trying to relax. He’d slept fitfully the night before, very uncomfortable after what he’d done. He’d gotten himself off watching his best friend perform oral sex on his HUSBAND. His very sweet, very generous husband, who was currently giving Merlin a neck massage. Of course the first thing on Merlin’s mind when he’d finally pulled himself out of bed was the stupid love drug. That had to be it. It was probably having a physical effect on Merlin, causing that lustful feeling, and he’d resolved it by watching what was technically just pornography. Pornography where he knew the actors, one of them VERY intimately. “Fuck.” Merlin moans again, hanging his head.

“Ya need a vacation, bruv.” Eggsy’s thumbs run up behind Merlin’s ears. “That Penelope seems quite capable…leave everythin’ in her hands an’ go away.” He chuckles a bit. “I can HIGHLY recommend the Virgin Islands, although it might be best if ya have someone ta go with ya. Course me an’ ‘arry didn’t see too much outside our villa, did we?”

Before he can stop himself, Merlin reaches up and grabs Eggsy’s wrists in a steel grip. “That’s enough,” he barks. 

Eggsy flexes his fingers until Merlin releases him. “I’m…I’m sorry, Merlin. Was only tryin’ ta help ya.”

“God.” Merlin releases him immediately. “I’m sorry, Eggsy. Did I hurt you?”

“No.” Eggsy rubs at his wrists a bit.

“I appreciate your concern. Perhaps you’re right. After my little quarantine is over, I should go on holiday.” He motions to the seat across the desk. “Please sit down.” Eggsy sits. “I’ve had this idea for a bit, but things didn’t fall into place until recently. We have about eight to ten vehicles in the garage that are in various states of disrepair. Tor is constantly busy, as you know, and he didn’t feel that it was something he could entrust to his staff without supervision. I really don’t want to just write off the lot. I thought you might like an assignment down there with him.”

“Wait.” Eggsy holds up a hand, eyebrows up in his hair. “Yer tellin’ me ya want me ta work in the garage…like full time?”

“Until a mission comes up, yes.” Merlin frowns. “I thought…”

“An’ Tor is okay with this?”

“I spoke with him a few moments ago and he sounded quite enthusiastic about the idea.”

“You are fuckin’ ACES, Merlin!” Eggsy slaps Merlin’s desk. “Fuck. This sounds amazin’. I get to lay around under those gorgeous cars all day? Fuck ME.”

“What exactly am I walking into?” Harry asks as he opens Merlin’s door and strides in without knocking. “Did I just hear my husband offering his body to my best friend?”

“I see some of Tristan’s better qualities are rubbing off on you,” Merlin says sarcastically. “Forgotten how to knock, have we?”

“Merlin can HAVE my body for what he just offered me,” Eggsy says with a brash grin. Merlin chokes on his tea.

“Do tell.” Harry cocks an eyebrow. Merlin swallows a sudden lump in his throat. Harry’s wearing a black suit that makes his legs look endless and Merlin suddenly wants to kiss him. Hard. He feels himself actually start to rise out of his chair and it takes everything in him to sit back down.

“That…that’s hardly necessary, lad,” he says weakly.

“Merlin says they can use me in the garage for as long as it takes until my next mission.” Eggsy’s face is a beam of sunshine. 

“With your approval, of course, Arthur,” Merlin says.

“Of course I approve. I’m not quite sure why we haven’t thought of this before.” Harry puts a hand on Eggsy’s shoulder.

“And the best part about it is that it will keep Tristan out of our hair. Hypothetically speaking, of course.” Merlin runs his hand over his bald head. 

“It would be nice to get some work done without constant interruption,” Harry agrees with an exaggerated sigh.

“Tell me ya don’t like when I spend time with ya in yer office,” Eggsy says to Harry with a growl.

“Really, Tristan, if you cannot keep your conversation professional can you please leave my office?” Merlin asks, punching at some buttons on his computer. “Act your age.”

He looks up to see Eggsy blinking at him, hurt filling the blue eyes. “I’m sorry, Merlin. I’ll…I’ll keep that sort of talk to a minimum from now on.”

“If you’d be so kind,” Merlin snaps. “Not all of us feel the need to vicariously live through your romantic escapades.” He thinks of what he’d watched the night before and his face flames. 

“Shall…shall I report to the garage then?” Eggsy asks quietly, standing up.

“I believe Tor will be ready for you after lunch.”

“Thank you again for the assignment, Merlin.” 

Merlin finally looks up. “You’re welcome. I know you’ll only be an asset down there.” He gives Eggsy a small smile and sees him relax a bit.

Eggsy looks at Merlin, then looks at Harry. “I’ll…see you later, Arthur.” He leaves the office without touching him.

“Well, THAT’s done.” Merlin closes a few screens and opens something else. “What may I do for you, Arthur?”

“May I sit?”

“Like you ever need to ask, Harry.”

“Manners and all that.” Harry studies him closely. “Feeling all right?”

“Fine. A little tense this morning, I suppose.” Merlin works his head and neck a bit, wincing as he hears some cracking.

“That was very thoughtful of you, sending Eggsy to the garage.”

“The boy was born to work on automobiles, Harry, from what Tor’s told me.”

“Yes. And he loves it. Although he does love working in the field as well.”

“As soon as I can get him out there, Harry, I will. There’s nothing really that suits him…” Merlin clicks around. “No, nothing yet.”

“I suppose I just wanted to check on you, make sure you were feeling all right.”

“Yes, Harry, I’m fine,” Merlin sighs. “Well, to be honest, I’ve been feeling a bit out of sorts over the last day or two…cranky.”

“And this is different from every other day how?”

“I respect the position of Arthur more than anything in this organization. I’ve devoted my career to protecting it and doing its will. So believe me when I say this is spoken with the utmost honor and respect…fuck off, Harry.”

Harry laughs. “I do adore when you speak with respect and honor, Merlin.”

Merlin smiles back at him, good mood restored. “I was thinking about going down to the exercise arena and working a bit after lunch. Perhaps I can get some of this negativity out of my system. I don’t get down there as much as I should.”

“You look fit enough to me,” Harry says almost without thinking and Merlin turns crimson. “I…trust me, Merlin. My husband says it often enough. I couldn’t help but notice.”

“You…you think I’m fit?” Merlin almost whispers, goose pimples appearing all over his body.

“Yes we do,” Harry tells him. “Would you like some company? I think I need to get out from behind my desk more often if Eggsy’s going to continue to invite people over and cook like he did last night.”

“I’d love that,” Merlin says eagerly. “I should probably be able to get down there around one.”

“Sounds wonderful. I’ll leave you to your work, then.” Harry gracefully rises and exits the office. 

The door closes behind him and Merlin leans back in his chair. “Fuck,” he mumbles.

A bell rings and James’ face appears on his computer screen. “Merlin, just checking in.”

“Fuck,” Merlin mumbles again. “I’m fine, James. I swear.”

 

Harry gets to the gymnasium late, of course, arriving at almost 1:15. Merlin is on the treadmill wearing only a pair of running shorts and beat up trainers. Harry’s half-tempted to find his phone in his locker and take a picture for his husband. Merlin’s already wet, sweat pouring down his toned back and biceps. Harry decides to stick with his own shorts and tee; he’s just self-conscious enough not to be seen without a shirt on, even though most of the people in the building have seen him with bullet wounds and other injuries requiring the removal of clothing.

He’s glad Merlin’s suggested coming down to exercise. Harry has noticed a change in Merlin’s attitude although he hasn’t felt comfortable saying anything quite yet. He’d expected something more explosive after Merlin’s injection of the foreign substance, something aggressive and untamed. Perhaps Merlin’s just working too hard.

“Hello,” Harry says as he steps onto the treadmill next to Merlin’s. “Sorry I’m late.”

“I was here early. And it’s not like I don’t always expect you to be late,” Merlin huffs as he runs.

“Bastard.” Harry starts the belt of the treadmill. 

They run in companionable silence for almost twenty minutes before Merlin starts a cool down and eventually walks off to do something else. Harry finishes out his half-hour, cools down and steps off as well. When he towels his face and takes a drink of water, he sees Merlin on the abdominal crunch equipment, curling up and down like a well-oiled machine. He wanders over, still trying to regulate his breathing.

“See something you like?” Merlin grunts. 

“I see that you don’t look like you’re behind a desk all the time.” Harry is almost envious. Merlin is only three years younger but has the body of a man in his forties. “Christ.”

“I do things in the office, when I’m handling a mission and there’s a lull,” Merlin admits. He sits up, panting for breath. “I’m nothing compared to your young husband.”

“Yes.” Harry can’t keep a besotted grin from covering his face. He does have a beautiful young husband.

“Feel like sparring?” Merlin asks suddenly. “We haven’t sparred in…I can’t even remember.”

“Why not?” Harry says with a shrug. “I don’t feel like doing anything on the machines, anyway. Just be kind to an old man.”

Merlin snorts. “Oh, please. Find me an old man and I’ll be kind to him.”

They climb onto the padded mat. “Don’t send me home with too many bruises. You saw how Eggsy was after I’d worked with Sagramore.”

“Sagramore is a beast.” Merlin fakes and lunges at Harry, who dances out of the way.

“And you’re not?” Harry teases, reaching out and actually slapping Merlin on the side of the head.

Merlin grabs his arm in a lightning fast move, twisting it behind Harry’s back and covering his body. “Oh, you don’t want to KNOW the kind of beast I can be, Harry.” His breath is warm in Harry’s ear, and Harry shivers a bit at his tone. 

He wriggles and twists and manages to remove himself from Merlin’s hold. “If memory serves, you always were all talk and no action when it came to sparring.” Harry delivers a punch to Merlin’s side, sweeping him off his feet with a move of his foot.

Merlin lands on his backside and immediately bounces back up. He growls a bit, holding his side and dancing on his heels. “It’s the only time I’m all talk and no action.” His fist hits Harry’s stomach, then his face. Harry spins and loses his balance briefly before Merlin catches him in his arms. “Trust me when I tell you I can back up ANYTHING I say.” He gets Harry behind the leg and forces him to his knees.

Harry starts to get up, grabs Merlin around the waist and yanks him to the ground. He tries to pin him, but Merlin outweighs him slightly and manages to roll them over. Harry gets a good roundhouse punch in before Merlin pins him down, hands holding Harry’s wrist. Merlin straddles his waist, panting for breath. Sweat streams down his chest and his face is red. “You’ll have to explain my face to my husband,” Harry says lightly. He’s troubled by the feral look in Merlin’s beautiful hazel eyes. “He’ll think you were trying to actually hurt me.”

“I don’t give a fuck what your bloody husband fucking thinks,” Merlin says, his voice sounding like an actual growl. He twists his hips a bit, and Harry gasps as he feels Merlin’s erection press against him.

“Merlin,” he whispers.

“Fuck.” Merlin jumps to his feet, backing away. “I don’t think the two of us sparring was one of my better ideas. Sorry. Apologies. And apologies to Eggsy. Tell him he can come hit me in the face as payback. I’ll…I’ll talk to you later.” Merlin hurries away before Harry can say anything.


	7. Chapter 7

SEVEN

Merlin curses as he heads for the showers. What in the hell was he thinking, manhandling Harry and practically rubbing against him? He strips and stands under the cold water, shivering as it belts his skin like bullets. The animosity he’s felt towards Eggsy, the pull he feels to be around Harry. The drug has made him think he wants Harry, LOVES Harry. But he doesn’t. Not as more than a friend. He never would have taken the drug if he’d thought there were any kind of true feelings deep inside other than a brotherly love. Merlin hits his head against the wall of the shower. This was something James hadn’t mentioned, the possibility that it would make Merlin feel something that wasn’t there. Because it WASN’T there. It couldn’t be. Merlin loved Harry like his own family, loved Eggsy as something like the son he’d never wanted. There was a physical attraction towards them both, but Merlin wasn’t DEAD. They were gorgeous men, inside and out. He needed to talk with James. He needed to report this immediately. It was important for the experiment.

“Merlin?” Merlin slowly turns around as Harry enters the large communal shower area. He’d removed his trainers and carefully walked in his bare feet. “Are you all right?”

Merlin slowly smirks as he watched Harry’s eyes wander over his naked body. Harry’s eyes quickly move back up to his face, but not before taking in every inch of Merlin’s wet form. “Yes, of course.” All thoughts of James and the experiment fly from his mind. It’s as if he’d never thought them at all. All that matters is the man in front of him. “You’re getting wet.”

“I couldn’t care less,” Harry says. “Are you all right, my friend?”

“Yes. I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. Too many late nights, not enough physical activity, I suppose.” Merlin turns off the water. “Thank you for checking on me.”

“If you’re sure.” Harry frowns.

“I’m sure.” Merlin reaches up and actually pokes at Harry’s forehead until the worried creases go away. “There you go. Enough worrying about me. You’re worse than a mother.”

“Parenting you would have been the death of me, I’m sure.” Harry steps back. “I’ll let you to it, then.”

“I am sorry. About your face, I mean.”

Harry reaches up and touches his own face. “It’s fine. I left you with a bruise as well.” He gives Merlin a tiny smile and walks away.

 

“Well well. What do we have here?” 

“Percival!” Eggsy says in surprise, stopping short on the path back to the main building.

“I look at you and the ONLY words that pop into my head are grease monkey,” Alan says with a grin.

“I’d hug you, but…” Eggsy looks down at himself. He wears coveralls to work on the cars, but still manages to get grease and oil in his hands, his hair, and all over his face. He’s already scrubbed himself wherever he can reach but will take a shower as soon as he gets home just in case.

“I appreciate it,” Alan says, looking down at his own pristine Kingsman suit. “Enjoying your time with the cars, then?”

“Oh, mate, you don’t even KNOW,” Eggsy says. “It’s been five days an’ I keep thinkin’ someone’s gonna pinch me an’ wake me up.”

“I’ll walk with you,” Alan says, waiting for Eggsy to lead the way up the path.

“I almost don’t want ta be sent into the field, but don’t tell ‘arry that. He’s all mother hen about me stayin’ safe. Think he coulda kissed Merlin for suggestin’ this.”

“Speaking of your lesser half, do you happen to know where he is? I was looking to give him some intel I’ve dredged up from one of my more respectable sources. He wasn’t in his office.”

“Well, normally he tells me if he’s goin’ early, but maybe he had some things to do.” Eggsy shrugs. “Didya check Merlin’s office? They’ve been thick as thieves lately…Merlin’s got all sorts of stuff bubblin’ that he needs ta talk with ‘arry about lately. He sees ‘arry more than I do, swear down.”

“Well, if you weren’t sticking that pretty little arse on the floor under a car all the time, perhaps you’d have some time for your husband,” Alan teases. “But maybe I want you there…give me time to make my move on our fearless leader.”

“Bugger off.” Eggsy shoves him. “Touch one perfect hair on that perfect head an’ I will break yer perfect hand. You know that.” But he’s not truly concerned. He’d realized right around their weddings that Alan had no true intentions towards Harry.

“Back to my original question…Merlin wasn’t in his office.” Alan sighs. “It can wait until tomorrow, though.”

“Hmm…thought Merlin lived in his office,” Eggsy says with a snicker. “Don’t mean ta cut ya off, Alan, but I wanna get goin’. Headin’ home early for once. I lose track of time when I’m elbows deep into an engine. See ya later, guv.” He looks down at himself, trying to find a way to physically say goodbye to Alan without getting him dirty. He finally makes a fist and Alan bumps it with his own.

 

“There you are.” 

Merlin groans as he sees Alan positioned outside his office door. “I’m going to have to put up a “no loitering” sign out here. I was exercising. Is that a crime?”

“Allow me.” Alan opens the door for Merlin. “Didn’t know you were into exercise, Merlin.”

“I live on takeaway and tea, Alan. I couldn’t possibly look like this if I didn’t exercise. Trying to get down there a few times a week now. What can I do for you?”

“Do you happen to know where Harry is? I have something to speak with him about and thought I might catch him.”

“Not my day to watch him,” Merlin says, which is a joke. He knows where every agent is at any given moment and that goes double for their king. “Did you check his office?”

“Really, Merlin.”

“Fine.” Merlin clicks some buttons. “He’s left HQ. He’s home.”

“Ah. Eggsy should be pleased, then. He’s on his way there as well.”

“Hmm,” Merlin says, frowning a bit. “Harry usually lets me know when he’s leaving. Strange.”

“I didn’t realize he reported to you, Merlin.”

“Shut it,” Merlin snapped. “He doesn’t have to report to me. I just…like knowing where he is.”

“THAT didn’t sound like stalker behavior at all,” Alan teased.

Fury blooms through Merlin’s chest. “If you have nothing of value to speak with me about, Percival, I’d like you to leave immediately. I do NOT appreciate what you’re insinuating.” 

“Jesus, Merlin, relax. Thought you could take a joke.” Alan backs towards the door, hands up.

“I would never do something like STALK Harry,” Merlin continues. He stands up and walks towards Alan. “And if you ever say anything like that again, I will put my fist down your throat.”

“I apologize,” Alan says softly, giving him an odd look. “Good night, Merlin.”

As soon as the door closes, Merlin leans against his desk, gasping for breath. He’s never felt that angry, that hot with emotions. He clutches the edges of the desk, trying to regulate his breathing.

 

“Luv?” Harry hears Eggsy call from the front door. “Zat you?”

“In the kitchen!”

Eggsy’s practically runs down the hall. “What the hell, ‘arry?” Eggsy’s face is a wreath of delight. “You came home early?”

“I wanted to surprise you. Tor mentioned you might finish up sooner than expected, and I thought we could have dinner together.” Harry leans against the kitchen table. “I hope you’re amenable.”

“So FUCKING amenable.” Eggsy walks over and kisses Harry without touching him. “Feels like we haven’t seen each other for more than five minutes all week.”

Harry knows exactly what Eggsy’s talking about. Eggsy’s fit right in at the garage, and has spent almost every day there for the past week. And on the days he hasn’t been there late, Harry’s been kept at the office for one reason or another. They barely had time to kiss each other hello and goodbye. Harry realizes that married life usually ends up that way, but he wasn’t ready for that. His skin itches for Eggsy’s touch, his body yearns for him in a way he’d never expected. It was like withdrawal. Harry’s spent most of the time with Merlin, who’s acted like their encounter in the sparring ring never happened. He’s respectful and witty and sarcastic and everything he’s always been. Harry chalks it up to the injection. Even if Merlin doesn’t have feelings for someone, he’s sure the chemicals have done a number on some of his emotions.

“We have all night,” Harry murmurs. “Why don’t you go clean up? I’ll order in some dinner.”

“Perfect.” Eggsy kisses him again and hurries up to change. 

When he reappears twenty minutes later in pajama pants and a tee, hair damp and curling from the shower, Harry is unpacking Chinese food. “I hope Chinese will do.”

“Chinese will always fuckin’ do. But first…” Eggsy yanks Harry in by the front of his jumper. “I want a kiss.”

Harry plunders Eggsy’s mouth with his tongue, hands sliding up under the tee. “Your wish…my command,” he whispers when he finally lets Eggsy up for air.

“Jesus, ‘arry,” Eggsy pants. “I need to hardly see you for five days more often.”

“The hell you do,” Harry retorts. “Get drinks, would you?”

He serves them each large plates of food and sits down as Eggsy returns with drinks. “I never thought workin’ on cars would wear me out like this.” Eggsy stretches and yawns.

“But you love it.” Harry forgets his food for a moment and watches his husband.

Eggsy’s eyes light up. “Fuck, Haz, I so love it. It’s like…a dance, you know? Choreography…each part of the puzzle needs to fit just so for the moves to work. I won’t bore ya with the details…”

“Bore me,” Harry says softly. “I love it when you get excited like this.”

“You asked for it,” Eggsy says, and begins to go into graphic detail about the problems with a Mercedes. 

Harry soon tunes out what Eggsy’s actually saying and focuses on watching him as he speaks. His face and neck are scrubbed pink, and his eyes are bright as he discusses the work he’s grown to love. If Harry didn’t feel Eggsy was meant to be an agent in the field, he would most definitely assign him to the garages full time. He loves the way Eggsy’s accent thickens as he gets more excited, and his hands wave around in an animated fashion, mimicking the movements of the various engine parts as he talks about them. A curl is actually peeking out from behind Eggsy’s ear; he’s due for a haircut but hasn’t had time, plus since he’s not in the field he can let it grow a bit. Harry wants to tug on that curl, lick at the earlobe as the curl winds around his finger. Eggsy reaches up to scratch at the back of his neck and Harry’s eyes are drawn to his strong hands. No matter how much Eggsy washes them, there’s still a big of black smudges along the fingernails and Harry loves it in a way he never thought possible. Those hands, soft and gentle while brushing Daisy’s hair, strong and powerful enough to pick up heavy car parts and put them into place. Harry’s missed those hands on him. He licks his lips and sighs.

“Hello, ‘arry.” Eggsy waves one of them in front of his face.

“I’m sorry, darling. I was paying attention, I promise. It sounds like Merlin has found just the niche for you.” Harry blushes.

“You weren’t payin’ attention. Not to my voice, anyway.” Eggsy slowly smiles. “What’s on yer mind?”

“Nothing, Eggsy. Finish your dinner and we can do whatever you want. Perhaps watch a movie? I’d love to snuggle with you on the sofa,” Harry says truthfully.

“Liar,” Eggsy says. “I know that look. You want somethin’.”

“I…never mind. Truly, it’s fine. You’re so tired, and you need to finish your dinner. We can…” Harry stares as Eggsy shovels an obscene amount of food into his mouth and chews it. He swallows hard and Harry winces. It looked painful. He gulps down the rest of his water and wipes his mouth with his napkin. “Eggsy…”

Eggsy pushes his chair back and stands up. “Move,” he orders. Harry pushes back his chair and Eggsy falls onto his lap. “I finished my dinner. Tell me what you want.”

“You are seriously the most…” Harry shakes his head.

Eggsy cups Harry’s chin in his hand. “What were ya thinkin’ about when I was talkin’?”

“Your hands,” Harry says finally. 

“These?” Eggsy holds them up and wiggles his fingers in Harry’s face.

“Yes.”

“My hands. Thinkin’ about…what? Me workin’ on cars?”

“Yes.” Harry swallows hard, wondering just when he’d acquired some sort of hand fetish.

“Me touchin’ you?” Eggsy’s hand ghosts over the back of Harry’s head before starting to ruffle through his hair. 

“Yes,” Harry whispers.

“How do you want them to touch you, ‘arry?” Eggsy’s voice is quiet and husky.

“However you want.”

“Wrong answer. Hard? Soft?”

“Hard,” Harry answers, groaning as Eggsy’s hand fists in his hair. 

“Where?”

“Everywhere,” Harry breathes.

Eggsy stops moving and smiles at him. Harry blushes. It’s rare that he comes this undone before they even do anything, and Eggsy’s acting like a smug little bastard. “Anywhere I want?” Harry nods. “I’m in charge?” Eggsy’s thumb runs along Harry’s bottom lip. Harry takes just the tip into his mouth and sucks on it. “Answer me, ‘arry.”

“Yes.” 

Eggsy licks from the back of Harry’s ear to the bottom of his neck. “Why don’t you go upstairs, get ready for bed, and wait for me? I’ll clean this up quick.”

“All right,” Harry says. Eggsy gets up and Harry slowly rises, trusting his weak legs will hold him. “We don’t…”

“If you tell me we don’t have to do this I will seriously never touch you again,” Eggsy snaps. “So what if I’m tired, it happens, and getting my hands all over you is a very…pressing…priority.” He reaches down to stroke Harry through his trousers. “So get the fuck upstairs, old man.”

Harry does as he’s told, brushing his teeth and washing his face. He changes into a pair of pajama pants and sits on the edge of the bed. He’s only alone for a few moments before Eggsy joins him. “All right then.” Eggsy rubs his hands together. “I’m in charge.”

Harry raises an eyebrow. “You know, you really are ridiculous sometimes.”

“I know. You love it. The end. Scoot back a bit.” Harry does as he’s told and Eggsy sits on his lap again. “Kiss me.”

Harry can easily obey. Eggsy’s hands stroke his face as he kisses him and Harry moans into the kiss. His hands rest at Eggsy’s waist, occasionally stroking along the waistband of his pajama pants. “I love you,” Harry murmurs.

“I know. Love you, too.” Eggsy continues to slowly kiss him as his fingers start to stroke down the side of Harry’s neck. Harry begins to melt into his touch, and that’s when a hand yanks him by the hair. “Don’t get too comfortable, Haz.” He pulls Harry’s body away a bit so he can bite down above Harry’s heart.

“Eggsy!” Harry gasps, hands clenching in Eggsy’s tee as his mouth works a mark onto Harry’s skin. 

“Whatever I want,” Eggsy growls. “I want to mark you with my hands and my mouth, ‘arry.” His thumb presses on the purple bruise and Harry hisses. His hands then slide down Harry’s back, trailing up and down his spine as he starts that lazy kissing again.

“Eggsy…” Harry moans, thrusting up against him.

“Not yet.” Eggsy’s fingernails drag down Harry’s back and he arches into the touch. “Gonna touch you all over, Haz. Gonna touch you an’ pinch you an’ grab you…gonna leave bruises…gonna make you remember my hands. Ya want that?” Eggsy’s mouth finds another spot on Harry’s chest to bite and suck.

“Please…”

“I do love when ya beg,” Eggsy says. He stands up. “Lay down, luv.” Harry moves up to lay on the pillows. “Like that. Perfect.” Eggsy slowly pulls off his tee and his pajama pants. His cock is hard and red and Harry licks his lips. “Not quite yet.” He slides his hands up Harry’s legs and slowly works down his pajama pants, tossing them over his shoulder. He measures Harry’s thighs with his hands as he slithers his way up Harry’s body. “I love touching you,” he breathes in Harry’s ear. He moves to rut against Harry’s leg a bit as he kisses him. “Love knowing that everywhere I touch is MINE.” Eggsy presses kisses to Harry’s chest as one hand moves up to Harry’s mouth. Harry moans as he eagerly sucks Eggsy’s thumb and first two fingers. “Yes…that’s right, ‘arry…suck them…get them wet.” 

“Jesus,” Harry mumbles around the fingers. Anything that comes out of Eggsy’s mouth sounds completely filthy and he loves it.

Eggsy brings his wet hand down to toy with Harry’s left nipple. The fingers trace around, larger circles going to small until he’s flicking the nipple with his fingernail. He suddenly pinches hard and Harry arches off the bed. “Ya like that, ‘arry?” Eggsy rubs his leg along Harry’s cock. “Feels like ya do.” He pinches the nipple again, bringing it up to his mouth. He suckles the hard skin, Harry gasping and thrusting up.

“Darling…Eggsy…please…”

Eggsy repeats the torture on the other side and Harry finds himself actually whining. Eggsy grins, giving the right nipple one last bite before sitting up a bit. “You know, I guess my hands are pretty amazin’.” Eggsy looks down at his palms, then slides them down his own chest. He starts to stroke his cock. “Perhaps I could just take care of m’self. Ya like lookin’ at my hands, dontcha?”

“No…I mean yes…I mean please don’t…please touch me…”

“Touch you?” Eggsy gets up, retrieves the lube, and comes back to the bed. “How should I touch you? Tell me. Be specific.” His fingers trace circles around Harry’s hip bones.

“My cock, please, Eggsy, let me fuck your hand.”

“Jesus,” Eggsy whispers. He drips some lube on his hands and rubs them together to warm it. He encircles Harry’s cock with a gentle grip and Harry cries out. “Like this?” He slides his hands all the way down and all the way up, Harry’s cock making an obscene noise as it slides in and out.

“Oh, fuck yes, my Eggsy, yes…”

“You are so gorgeous, Haz, love making you come apart for me.” Eggsy keeps his strokes strong and slow. “Feel good? Is this what you wanted my hands for?”

“Not…completely…” Harry gasps, hands fisting in the covers.

Eggsy gives two fast strokes and pulls away. “What did ya want, then, ‘arry?”

“Your fingers inside me, please, Eggsy, open me up for you, please…”

“Always so polite,” Eggsy says. “Roll over.” Harry knows his soaking cock is going to make a mess on the bed linen, but that’s why one has more than one set of bed linen. He rolls over, going on his hands and knees immediately. “Eager little slut, ain’t ya, ‘arry?”

Harry actually bites the pillow. Eggsy very rarely calls him dirty names. It’s nothing they’ve discussed but Harry’s always figured it’s a respect thing; Eggsy can’t see past his respect for Harry to do it. But apparently respect is out the window right now and Harry is most definitely on board. “Yes, want your fingers, want your hands on me. It’s been forever.”

“Feels like it,” Eggsy agrees. Harry feels a finger slowly circling his entrance and he sighs, burying his face in the pillow. “Love watching you take me, aw, fuck, ‘arry…you open up for me an’ fuck it’s so hot…” The finger slides inside and Harry moans, hitching his hips. “Greedy…wait for me ta take care of ya.” Eggsy’s free hand slides up and down Harry’s back. “Maybe I’ll just do this t’night…just fuck ya with one finger. Could ya come that way?”

“I don’t want to find out.”

Eggsy chuckles, twisting that finger before he adds another one. “How’s this?”

“Yes, Eggsy…”

Eggsy’s quiet as he fucks him with his fingers, the other hand scratching down the firmness of Harry’s backside. He adds a third and comes up to lean over Harry’s back as he moves the fingers in and out. “M’gonna fuck you now, ‘arry. Gonna grab ya like ya want. Gonna leave marks on yer hips, yer waist. Gonna use my hands to pull you back on my dick until ya scream…want ya feelin’ my hands an’ my cock all day tomorrow. Got it?”

“Jesus fucking Christ stop talking about it and do it!” Harry commanded.

Eggsy slaps his arse hard and Harry shivers. “I’m in charge. Shut that mouth or I’ll shut it for you.” He holds Harry open with one hand and holds his cock with the other. “Take it…aw, yes, ‘arry…take it so fuckin’ GOOD…”

Harry moans as Eggsy buries himself inside, back arching as far as it can. “Thank you…so good…”

“Why, yer welcome, luv.” Eggsy gives a few tentative strokes, making sure Harry’s ready for him. “Happy ta fuckin’ oblige.” He grabs Harry’s hips in a death grip and starts to fuck him, hard short strokes that push Harry’s breath from his body. “So good…so tight…love ya, ‘arry, love this…”

Harry can’t speak. He’s too busy trying to remember to breathe. Eggsy’s cock is hitting every place good in his body, and he’s doing everything he can not to come too quickly. One of Eggsy’s hands reaches up to fist in his hair, pulling his head back. “Fuck…Eggsy…”

“Love you like this, Haz. Know ya don’t like givin’ up control this much very often, and that makes it so much more special.” The other hand grips tightly on Harry’s shoulder, pulling him back hard to meet each thrust. “This what ya wanted?”

“Mmm…yes…God…” Harry actually yelps when Eggsy’s fingernails scrape down his back.

“Nobody’s gonna see that, but I’m markin’ ya, ‘arry. Yer mine. My husband. My love. My beautiful mind my gorgeous face my talented mouth my sinful dick my beautiful arse MINE,” Eggsy chants.

“Fuck, Eggsy…I’m going to come…” 

“Not yet.” Eggsy moves up onto his knees and pulls Harry up with him. “I’m so close, ‘arry, an’ I want ya comin’ when I do…wanna feel ya clenchin’ around me when I’m shootin’ inside of ya.” He starts stroking Harry with one hand while the other hand moves up to Harry’s mouth. “An’ I want ya suckin’ my fingers when ya come.”

Harry mumbles around his fingers, licking and sucking as best he can as he gasps for breath. “Eggsy…please…”

“God, Haz, I fuckin’ love you.” Eggsy groans in his ear, practically choking Harry with his fingers as he comes. Harry gags a bit on his own saliva as he comes, spurting over Eggsy’s fingers. Eggsy pants against his shoulder, removing his fingers from Harry’s mouth and using two hands to stroke him through his orgasm.

“God, no, Eggsy, please…” Harry shudders in his embrace, continuing to come longer than he’d thought possible.

“I have you, luv, I have you.” Eggsy kisses his neck, gentle sweet kisses that move along his jaw. “I’ve got you. Love you, my husband.”

 

Merlin idly flips through the various Kingsman home cameras as he eats his pasta, not really paying attention to what he’s seeing. It’s something he normally does in the evening while he’s eating, just for something to do. He does note what seems like a broken windowpane in one of the smaller house, and sets a reminder to check it out in the morning. He freezes as he sees Eggsy and Harry in their kitchen. Eggsy stands up, sits on Harry’s lap, and asks Harry what he wants. Harry asks for Eggsy’s hands and then Harry’s sucking on Eggsy’s thumb. Emotions fly through Merlin. He’s nauseated, he’s angry, he’s turned on, he’s worried. 

He forces himself to cut the feed as Harry gets up and leaves the kitchen. Something needs to be done. This can’t go on any longer, for Harry’s sake. He logs onto the mission database and starts scrolling through the files.


	8. Chapter 8

EIGHT

“You know, I could get used to this,” Merlin says as Harry knocks and enters his office. “I think you’ve basically been on time every day since you officially became Arthur. I may make a plaque and hang it in on your door.”

“Cute,” Harry comments, taking the seat across from Merlin at his desk.

Merlin smiles at him. They’ve been spending a lot of time together over the past fortnight and he feels they’ve built a special connection in their friendship, something new. “I am NOT cute,” he replies.

“Oh, I don’t know about that.” Harry tilts his head. “Perhaps in a certain light.”

Merlin blushes. He knows Harry is teasing but part of him believes he could actually mean it. There’s something in the way Harry looks at him sometimes, like he’s seeing something that wasn’t there before. “You need your vision checked.” Harry snorts as someone knocks on the door. “Enter,” Merlin says.

“I got your message, Merlin.” Eggsy steps into the room. He looks younger than his twenty-six years in his coveralls. “Tor knows I’ll be late. Arthur, sir.”

“Who the hell are you, and why are you talking to them like that?” Alan enters the office on Eggsy’s heels.

“Who let YOU in?” Merlin growls.

Alan smiles pleasantly. “Good morning, Merlin…Arthur. I was walking with Tristan and thought I’d tag along. Not like I have anything better to do right now.” He gives Harry a pointed look.

“That’s what happens when you have a very specific set of skills that don’t always apply themselves to a basic mission,” Merlin snaps. 

“I’m sorry…I met him on the way up from the garage…was there early this morning. He felt the need to try and wheedle a drive out of me. It’s not like I’m in charge down there.” Eggsy shakes his head. “May I sit, Merlin?”

“Of course, lad.” Merlin offers him the chair on the left side of his desk, as far from Harry as he can get him. 

“I’m going stir crazy around here. A few laps in one of the Porsches would do me a WORLD of good,” Alan says.

“Fuck no!” Eggsy says before he thinks. His eyes dart to Merlin. “I mean, no, Alan. Tor would have my head if I let you go for a joy ride in one of the Porsches.”

“And I like his head just where it is,” Harry says. “So leave him alone, Alan.”

“Spoilsports.” Alan actually pouts.

“I’ll get tea,” Eggsy says suddenly, jumping to his feet. “Alan, you’re milk no sugar, correct?”

“Good memory. Yes, thank you.”

Eggsy quickly prepares four cups of tea and hands them around. “Just as I like it. Thank you, Tristan.” Merlin sips at his tea and sighs. “I suppose you can sit in on this, Percival. You may even be of some assistance.”

“I’m thrilled,” Alan says sarcastically.

“I’ve found a mission for you, Tristan.” Eggsy sits up straight and almost drops his cup. “You’ve heard of Alexei Vasiliev?”

“Yes. He’s the politician, correct? Become pretty fast friends with the PM, hasn’t he?”

“Yes. He’s supposed to meet with some of the bigwigs in the Russian Parliament, and he’s asked for our assistance. Actually he asked the PM for assistance, and the PM’s office contacted us.”

“And what do you want Tristan to do?” Harry asks, frowning.

Merlin expected this. “I’d like him to go with Gareth to provide some subtle…security.”

“Yes!” Eggsy crows. “I mean, yes, thank you, Merlin.”

“What has gotten INTO you?” Alan asks him.

“At least someone tries to behave in a professional manner,” Merlin snaps at Alan. 

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Harry asks. “We try to avoid involvement in anything related to the Russian government. You know that.”

“We’re not looking to GET involved with the Russian government, Arthur,” Merlin says. “This is a personal favor to the PM, and they’ll basically be glorified bodyguards.”

“Why Tristan?”

Merlin figured this would happen. “He’s itching to be useful in the field, and I think this is a good match for him. He and Gareth get along well, and I know he’d behave respectfully towards Mr. Vasiliev.” Merlin gives Eggsy a warm smile. “There’s also the language thing.”

“What language thing?” Harry asks immediately. Eggsy blushes.

“Didn’t you know that Tristan’s been taking extra Russian lessons over his lunch breaks? He was doing well to begin with, but Eleanor says he has really improved. He’s one of the best students she’s ever had.”

Harry looks at Eggsy with an adoring look on his face. Merlin swallows some bile. “Is this true?”

“Russian’s the one language I seem to get. I don’t know why, but it just works for me. You’ve…you’ve been busy with Merlin a lot when I get free time for lunch, so I started to do some studying.”

“I’m proud of you,” Harry says softly. He looks at Merlin. “But Gareth?”

“He’s a bit…spontaneous in the field,” Merlin admits. “But he and Tristan seem to have a lot in common. I think they’d work well together.”

“C’mon, Harr…I mean, Arthur. We won’t blow anything up,” Eggsy promises. “He did that one time. It hasn’t happened since.”

“You’ve been working very hard on thinking before you act, Tristan. I’m afraid that Gareth could be a bad influence on you,” Harry says.

Eggsy actually glares at him. “I’m not a child, Arthur. I think I can control myself.”

“Oh, give your approval and be done with it, Harry,” Alan says finally. “There’s no reason not to other than your own personal feelings, which you said would never come into play when it comes to assignments for Tristan.”

“Thank you for reminding me of how to do my job, Percival,” Harry almost growls. “How is he helping? Please tell me,” he says to Merlin.

“Percival is the most fluent Russian-speaking agent we have,” Merlin says. “He can prepare Tristan…work with him.”

“That would be brilliant!” Eggsy beams at Alan. “We could get together…maybe in the evening?”

“That won’t be necessary,” Harry says before anyone else can speak. “You can work here at HQ. I’m sure Tor can spare you.”

“In your office, then,” Eggsy says eagerly. “It’s much bigger than mine.”

“Use my office,” Harry says. “I’m usually down with Merlin anyway.”

Alan smirks at the back and forth. “I love how everyone just assumes I’m going to assist with this.” Eggsy frowns. Harry raises an eyebrow. “Oh, of course I’ll help. Whenever you want to meet, Tristan, that’s fine with me.”

“Excellent. Prepare to leave on Monday.”

“Thank you, Merlin,” Eggsy says as he stands. “I appreciate this.”

“Just doing my job, lad.” Merlin sighs as he looks at him. He is quite handsome, so young and eager. Shame, really.

“How long do you think this will take?” Harry asks.

“Two weeks, three at the most. Vasiliev has some other meetings before and after the main event.”

“That long?” Eggsy looks at Harry and his smile dims a bit. “Oh well. Part of the job, ain’t it?” He nods at Merlin, then at Harry. “I’ll be going down to Tor, then.”

“Have a good day, Tristan.” Merlin busies himself with his computer so he doesn’t have to watch the inevitable.

“Have a good day, my boy.” Harry stands and gives him a brief kiss.

“You, too.” Eggsy takes Harry’s hand and squeezes it briefly. “Alan, let me know what time works for you.”

“I will. Have a good day.” Tristan watches him go out the door. When it closes behind him, he turns to Harry. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Me?”

“You’ve not been this protective of him since before you were married. And it’s what, almost a year?”

“Yes,” Harry says. “I just...something about this rubs me the wrong way.”

“Harry, you need to trust that I would never do anything to hurt you.” Merlin stands and puts a hand on Harry’s shoulder. He caresses the strong muscles a bit. “And hurting Eggsy would hurt you. It’s a different sort of mission for the boy, true. But I think it’s a good experience for him.”

“You’re right.” Harry puts his hand on Merlin’s for a second and Merlin feels heat pool in his groin. “I guess I’ve been spoiled having him around HQ so much. It’s hard to let him get back out there.”

“It will get easier, I promise you,” Merlin says.

Alan looks at them, a frown settling on his handsome face. “I…well, I’m glad I can assist,” he says finally. “I’ll be in my office if you need me.” He stands. “Arthur…Merlin.” He leaves the office.

“I know it seems like a long mission, but perhaps we can spend some time together,” Merlin says slowly. “James has extended my quarantine boundaries a bit.” He makes a face. “I can come to your home, of course, or to my own. I can go out if I’m with someone like you, or Eggsy, or Alan. We could work out, or go to dinner.” He smiles. “Perhaps I can be a distraction of sorts.”

“Thank you, Merlin, that sounds nice.” Harry sighs. “I’m a bit embarrassed by my reaction.”

“Don’t be. It’s how you feel when you love someone, isn’t it? You want them around all the time?” Merlin gives him a shy smile. “Or so I hear.”

“That’s putting it mildly. A small part of me hopes Vasiliev finds a reason to come back early, but Kingsman comes before my heart. I’ll see you later.” 

Once Harry leaves the office Merlin starts opening up screens and furiously typing. If he has anything to do with it, the mission will definitely take at least two weeks. That should be long enough for Harry to start seeing things clearly.

 

“I don’t want ta go.” 

Harry smiles at the murmured voice on his chest. “I don’t believe you.”

“I want ta go in the field. I don’t want to leave here. Leave you. Leave this.” Eggsy moves his head and licks at Harry’s nipple. “Wanna stay here just like this.”

“Mmm.” Harry closes his eyes, cock jumping ever so slightly as Eggsy’s warm lips suck his skin. “I think you may be a medical miracle, my boy. No one my age should have even a hint of interest so quickly after what we just did.”

“What did we just do? Oh, that’s right. You tongue fucked me until I was beggin’ an’ then fucked my brains out of my head.” Eggsy slowly drags his tongue over to the other nipple as his hand finds Harry’s cock and tenderly cradles it in his hand. “So…a hint of interest, huh?”

“Just a hint, although if you keep talking that way it may grow from a hint to a possible thought.” Harry groans a bit.

“Ya like when I talk that way? Dirty old man. Maybe I’ll call you from Russia, talk like that over the phone. Maybe I’ll put a few fingers in, tell ya how good it feels.”

“You most certainly will not,” Harry growls, rolling them over and pinning Eggsy beneath him. “You know everything’s recorded.”

“An’ ya KNOW Merlin probably gets off on it,” Eggsy snickers.

“Speaking of Merlin, darling.” Harry rolls and sits up next to him. “You know you don’t need to change who you are around him. You act so differently now.”

“He was right. I don’t respect his position. He’s our good friend an’ all, but I need ta remember myself at work.” Eggsy sits up as well. “I don’t mind.”

“Well, don’t ever think you need to be someone you’re not. You’re perfect as you are.” Harry gives him a sweet kiss.

“I love you, ‘arry.” Eggsy sighs. “An’ now I gotta go. Fuck, I hate this part of our job.” He gets out of bed and Harry follows suit.

“Promise me you’ll come home safe.”

Eggsy stands on tiptoe and presses his forehead to Harry’s. “I promise. An’ my promises are fuckin’ gold, Arthur.” He removes his wedding ring and hands it to Harry. “Keep this safe for me ‘til I get back.”

 

It’s six days into the mission before Merlin makes his move. He spends time with Harry but not too much, only what would be required for work. On the sixth day, he approaches Harry in his office. “Arthur?”

“Yes. Come in, Merlin.” Harry waves him in. “Juliet is the best assistant anyone could ask for, but I think she has some sort of signature fetish. I’ve signed everything under the sun today.”

“She is a wonderful young lady,” Merlin agrees. He studies Harry. “When did you eat last?”

“I…I had breakfast today, I think.” He waves a hand in the air. “The days run together, don’t they?”

“That’s my line.” Merlin motions to a chair and Harry nods. “Why don’t we go for dinner tonight? We talked about it, remember? We could go to a pub, or…how about The Round Table.”

“Christ, I haven’t been there in forever. I keep meaning to take Eggsy and it just hasn’t happened.” Harry leans back in his chair. “It would be nice to go somewhere and relax, eat dinner without worrying who overhears what.”

“That’s why I suggested it,” Merlin says. The Round Table is a nice restaurant owned by a former Kingsman agent. It’s only open to employees of Kingsman and is a popular dining location for agents.

“That sounds perfect. What time do you think I could realistically plan to get out of here?”

“Harry, you’re Arthur. You can leave whenever the hell you want.” Merlin stands up. “Your quartermaster, however, must obey his king.”

“I say that the king and the quartermaster may leave at half-six.”

“Perfect.” Merlin beams at him. “I’ll meet you at the train.”

 

Merlin’s early, of course, and knows Harry will be late. He’s taken time choosing his wardrobe and is pleased with the final result. A pair of black jeans which accentuate the length of his legs and a golden-brown jumper that matches his eyes. 

“Sorry,” Harry says, hurrying down the walkway. “I lost track of time.”

“Shocker,” Merlin says, rolling his eyes. “You look very nice.”

“Oh. Thank you.” Harry smooths a hand down his aqua jumper. “Eggsy got this for my birthday last year.”

“As I’ve always said, he has good taste. Shall we?” Merlin allows Harry to enter the train first. 

Harry looks at him once they’re seated. “That looks new.”

“Oh. Well, I do tend to wear the same things at the office,” Merlin admits. “Found this in the back of a closet. You know how it is.”

“Nice to see you looking like a normal human being and not a robot,” Harry teases.

They make idle chit-chat on the way into the city, and continue as they walk through the tailor shop. It’s only a short walk to the restaurant, where Merlin enters a code on a keypad by the door. The building looks like an empty store, complete with a “for rent” sign out front. If anyone calls the number, however, the rent requested is so steep that everyone loses interest immediately.

“Merlin! Arthur!” The owner says in surprise as he opens the door.

“Uther.” Harry shakes his hand. “It’s been too long.”

“It most certainly has.” Uther steps aside and lets them in. “I hear congratulations are in order, however late they may be. I hope you’ve been quite happy with married life.”

“Most certainly,” Harry says with a grin. “My husband’s in the field right now. I’ll make sure to bring him in once he’s back.”

“I look forward to it,” Uther replies. He gives Merlin a double-take. “Are you all right, Merlin?”

Merlin realizes he’s glaring furiously at the man. “Of course. I apologize. Long day.”

“We have an excellent salmon dish tonight, but as you know, our pasta is always made on site.” He leads them to a table. “May I start you with wine?”

“You may,” Harry says as he sits, and Merlin nods in agreement. “And honestly, Uther, whatever you want to bring me to eat is fine. I trust your judgment.”

“Make it two.” Merlin drops his napkin in his lap. “And by the way, Harry, this is my treat.”

“What? No. I…”

“I invited you,” Merlin points out. “And what do I have to spend my money on? I don’t have anyone to buy pretty little expensive gifts for. No one to spend all my money.”

“I do enjoy buying Eggsy gifts, but he doesn’t spend my money. He has his own.”

“Hmm,” Merlin says. “I’m still buying.”

Harry sighs but doesn’t argue. The waiter brings their wine. “To good friends.”

“Yes, to good friends.” Merlin raises his glass and takes a long swallow. “About that, Harry. I…one of the reasons I asked you out tonight was to talk to you about something that’s been on my mind.”

“All right.” Harry leans back in his chair. The room is fairly empty and no one is within earshot.

“I just…I’m really worried about you.”

“About me?”

“Yes.” Merlin reaches over and covers Harry’s hand with his own. “I worry that perhaps…you’ve gotten yourself into a situation that isn’t safe for you.”

“Isn’t safe?” Harry echoes. 

“Look. I…you know how much I care for Eggsy. He is a sweet lad, and he is good for the organization. I just…I wonder if he’s good for you.” Harry gasps and pulls his hand away. “He has a good heart, but I really feel…look at everything the two of you have been through since the beginning of your relationship. The shooting. The coma. The mission. The time he was kidnapped. Are you really able to be a good Arthur when you’re constantly worried about him? And I’m not even talking about Arthur.” Merlin wishes he had hair so he could pull it in frustration. “I know how it wears you down, Harry. You deserve better than that.”

“Merlin, I…Eggsy Unwin is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. It’s like you said at our wedding ceremony…he’s brought me out of myself, taught me to find the good in everyday life.”

“I meant it when I said it. I just…you’re fifty-five, Harry. Do you really think a man twenty-nine years your junior is going to be happy with you for the rest of your life?” Harry gapes at him. “That came out wrong,” Merlin says hurriedly. The waiter returns with salad and he waits for him to leave. “I’m not saying that as an insult towards you, Harry. He’s foolish, he’s young, and youth is fickle. We both know he’s felt some sort of hero worship towards you ever since you nominated him as a Kingsman. I really think that the worship transformed itself into something he THINKS is romantic love, but it’s just an extended form of that hero worship. And I don’t want you hurt.” Merlin means this more than anything. Harry should not ever be hurt, by anyone.

Harry’s brown eyes are dark. “You think he will hurt me.”

“I think he could. Without meaning to,” Merlin adds quickly. “I don’t want you wasting time with someone who isn’t going to give you what you need. What you deserve.” He sighs. “I’ve watched you be alone for so many years, Harry. I more than anyone know about the darkness that’s inside of you. I have it inside me as well. Too many years in the field, too many years seeing things we cannot unsee. Eggsy cannot EVER understand that.” Merlin slaps the table and Harry jumps. “I just…I think you should do something about it before it’s too late. You’re a wonderful person. Smart and strong and handsome. He’s not worthy of you, not right for you.”

“Merlin…you and Alan were the ones that worked the hardest to get us together. I can’t believe you’re saying this.”

“I was caught up in the romance, I guess. And there’s nothing wrong with romance in the right place.” Merlin starts to eat his salad. “You deserve romance, Harry, but you deserve it with someone who’s right for you, who understands you. Someone like you. You and Eggsy are so very different. I think now that I’ve had time to really sit and observe the two of you, I see what’s best for you.” He finishes his glass of wine and smiles sadly at Harry. “And what’s best for you is NOT Eggsy.”

 

Harry’s almost sorry they’ve come to this particular restaurant, because their food is excellent and he feels he cannot eat one bite. He stares at his best friend, noticing for the first time the dark heat in Merlin’s eyes. Merlin puts down his knife and fork and stares at him. “I’m sorry, Harry.”

“I…” Harry looks down at his plate, pulling at every bit of his training to get him through this. He wants to run, wants to get away from his dearest friend. He cannot believe what he’s hearing. “I appreciate your concern,” he says finally. He knows this has to be the drug talking, has to be something making Merlin feel this way. He can tell from the look on Merlin’s face that he is 100% sincere. He believes everything he’s saying, that Harry should find someone other than his husband. Merlin reaches over to take his hand again and Harry fights the urge to flinch. 

“I am concerned. Everything I’m saying is out of love for you,” Merlin whispers. “You’re my oldest friend.”

“Yes. I don’t know that I exactly agree with you, Merlin, but I assure you that I will think very hard about everything you’ve said tonight. I mean that.”

“Good,” Merlin says, obviously relieved. “I feel so much better getting that off my chest. And if you wish to discuss it again…”

“…I’ll let you know.” Harry puts down his napkin. “Will you excuse me? I never washed my hands.” Harry heads in the direction of the loo but at the last minute turns into a dark hallway. He leans against the wall and closes his eyes. He stands for a moment, then gets out his phone. He quickly texts James, asking him to look into Merlin’s vitals and give him a report. He pauses, then texts the one person he can trust to help him work this through.


	9. Chapter 9

NINE

“Thank you for dinner, Merlin,” Harry says as they exit the restaurant. “I did enjoy it.”

“Perhaps we could do it again sometime soon,” Merlin says eagerly. “We don’t spend time together like this near enough.”

“No, we don’t,” Harry says. 

Merlin pulls him in for a hug, holding him close. Harry closes his eyes as he feels Merlin’s hand slide up to cup the back of his neck. “Have a good evening, Harry. And think on what I said, all right?”

“I will,” Harry says honestly. He stiffens ever so slightly as Merlin quickly strokes his hair before releasing him. Kingsman cabs are lined up outside the restaurant and he opens the door to the closest vehicle. “Have a good night.”

“Pleasant dreams,” Merlin calls after him.

Harry gives the driver an address and settles into the backseat. He pulls out his phone, flips to his public line, and texts Eggsy. He’s not sure when Eggsy will see it but he needs to talk to him, needs the connection. 

_Eggsy, darling, just wanted to say good night and I love you. I love you so much and I miss you horribly. Please take care, my boy, and come home safe like you promised._

Harry’s rewarded by an immediate response. _Haz, I luv U 2. So boring here, Gareth is aces tho. Keep my ring safe, can’t want 2 get it back from U. Sweet dreams._

 

“You’re the last person I thought I’d see tonight,” Alan says when he opens his door. “Everything all right, Harry? I know I’m not really your favorite person of late.”

“How about a walk, Alan? It’s a very nice night, and I think we have some things to discuss.”

Alan’s eyebrows raise into his hair. “Of course, Harry. Let me get my coat.” Alan grabs a light jacket from a hook near the door. His eyes widen as he sees Harry take off his Kingsman glasses, fold them, and place them on a tiny table inside Alan’s house. “Shall we, then?”

“After you.” Harry follows Alan down the walk. “Someplace we can talk without being overheard,” he mumbles to Alan.

“There’s a park nearby, safe to sit in after dark.” 

“Thank you for meeting me like this,” Harry says as they walk. “I know I’ve been a bit distant.”

“I understand why. But I hope you realize that I would never touch Eggsy, never approach him. I respect the both of you too much. I also know where his heart lies.”

“At least someone feels that way,” Harry mutters.

Alan leads him to park. Young men are playing football under the lights, and they find a bench nearby. “Are you all right, Harry?” Alan asks again.

“I’m not sure how to say this without sounding paranoid.” Harry thinks about it. It does sound ridiculous. “I mean, why would he…I’ve known him forever, and I really don’t see what he would see in…”

“For fuck’s sake, Harry, spit it out!”

“I think Merlin’s fixating on me. I think the drug is making him look at me as more than a friend,” Harry blurts out. 

Alan studies him for a long moment. “I’d crack a joke about your ego right now, but I can read it on your face. You’re serious.”

“Deadly serious, Alan. It started with little things, compliments, touches, excuses to spend extra time together. I didn’t think much of it, we’ve known each other, Christ, as long as I’ve known you. You tend to invade personal space after so many years. But this is more than that. He touches me…” Harry shakes his head. “I ignored it, but then Eggsy got involved.”

“Eggsy?”

“Merlin’s been nasty to him. I’ve seen it. You commented on how Eggsy’s been acting in Merlin’s presence? That’s because Eggsy made a comment that sounded sexual and Merlin chastised him, telling him to be more professional and act his age.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad.”

“When the three of us are together…Merlin finds a way to get between us. Physically, I mean.” Harry ponders this for a moment. “I think I just realized that. He’s started putting Eggsy down, constantly bring up his age, lack of experience in the field, where he comes from. And then…tonight happened.” Harry leans back on the bench and closes his eyes. 

“Jesus, Harry...” Alan puts a hand on Harry’s knee and squeezes. Harry feels nothing sexual in the action, just support.

“Tonight he tried to convince me that I’d made a mistake marrying Eggsy. That it wasn’t safe for me, and that I’d be hurt in the end.”

“You’re joking.” Alan’s mouth falls open. “He’s the one that was so insistent that we get you idiots together.” 

“I know. And I brought that up. He said he was caught up in the romance but now he sees things more clearly.” Harry leans his elbows on his knees, burying his face in his hands. “Christ, Alan, you should have seen him, should have HEARD him. He was so sincere, so intent on making me see what he was seeing. He said Eggsy only married me because he felt some sort of hero worship masquerading as romantic love. He said that we’re too different, Eggsy can never understand me, and I should get out before it’s too late.”

“Did he offer himself as an alternate?”

“No. He never came out and said that. Strange, really, because that’s what I would have expected. I would have expected him to just come out and tell me to choose him, and then give me all the reasons why. It’s like…it’s like he wants ME to make the decision. Another odd thing…he praises Eggsy while he’s putting him down. He even told me Eggsy is a “sweet lad.” I don’t get it.”

“He’s probably fighting the drug, Harry. He cares about you, he cares about Eggsy. This thing he feels for you, it hasn’t taken over yet. Have you spoken with James?”

“I messaged him when I messaged you. Asked him to prepare something for me and speak with me tomorrow. I don’t think Merlin’s dangerous or anything. He’s not out to hurt anyone.”

“Except perhaps your husband?” Alan suggests quietly.

Harry’s head whips up. “What are you talking about?”

“Have you ever heard the story of King David and Bathsheba, Harry?” Harry stares at him blankly. “Yes, believe it or not, I went to church. And paid attention occasionally, especially to juicy Bible stories like this one. I will summarize it briefly…cutting out the whole pregnancy angle because obviously that doesn’t apply. David wanted Bathsheba, she was married, things happened, and he needed to get her husband Uriah out of the way. So he sent him off into battle, putting him on the front line so he wouldn’t come back.”

Harry gasps, a knife driving into his heart. “You don’t think…you don’t think this mission was more serious than Merlin told us? Do you think…is Eggsy in danger?”

“I highly doubt it. I do feel this was just a security mission. I think he knew what he was doing sending him off on a mission that could possibly take weeks. I think he intentionally sent him out with Gareth, whom he could blame if the mission went tits up. But I honestly do not think Merlin is out to kill Eggsy. Not yet,” Alan adds. “I have to be honest with you, Harry. I noticed something the day Merlin gave Eggsy the mission. I noticed the way he touched you, and I noticed the way he looked at Eggsy. I thought it was just my flare for the dramatic. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything then.” Alan pauses. “And there was another thing…I made a comment about him acting like a stalker towards you, you know, as a joke, and he threatened to literally put his fist down my throat.”

“What do we do now?” Harry whispers.

“I think you need to get a different handler for this mission. Merlin cannot be in charge,” Alan says firmly. “His second in command, Penelope, can easily take over. Find an excuse for him to do something else. James needs to be informed. I don’t know that we should confront Merlin about this. We don’t know what it will do to him…it sounds like he’s starting to get territorial, like an animal.”

“I just don’t believe this. Why me? Why did it make him turn to me?”

“Perhaps the feelings have always been there,” Alan says softly. Harry stares at him. “You, Harry Hart, are an exceptional human being. I know that for all your strutting about you are quite humble in your perception of yourself. You don’t see why others want you or love you. You’ve been the best friend Merlin ever could have asked for. I know you had that one little romp back in the day. Perhaps something has been there for him, under the surface. I’m sure he didn’t know it or he never would have offered to do this experiment.”

“I feel so guilty…like I’m hurting him without intending to.”

“Turn that guilt into action, Harry. Work on finding the scientists who escaped. We need an antidote as soon as possible. And when you find them, send me. I’ll bring them back or die trying.”

 

Merlin frowns as he checks the signal from the cameras in Harry’s house. They’d left each other over an hour before and Harry should be home by now. He’s not too concerned; the tracker under Harry’s skin shows him with normal breathing, normal heart rate. He checks the signal from Harry’s glasses and is surprised to see the location. Alan’s house.

Merlin goes up and gets ready for bed. By the time he returns to the study, a light is blinking showing activity in Harry’s house. His glasses are there as well. He flips through the cameras, tracking Harry from the moment he walks into his home. He looks exhausted, and even sad. A grin smile crosses Merlin’s face. So Harry’s been thinking about what he’d told him. Harry is so very smart, Merlin just KNOWS he’ll realize that what Merlin’s told him is correct. Harry’s probably trying to find a way to explain everything to Eggsy when he returns. Perhaps he’d taken a walk, gone to clear his head and organize his thoughts. Merlin scribbles a note to himself to remember to investigate available Kingsman properties. Eggsy’s going to need a place to live once he and Harry separate.

Harry scratches Eliza under the chin and disappears with her, most likely taking her out into the yard. When he returns, he carries her upstairs with him, Merlin following along through the line of cameras. He doesn’t even think twice about continuing to watch Harry as he enters the bedroom, something he’s never done before. He just needs to make sure Harry’s all right. Merlin’s surprised; he didn’t think Harry normally let the dog upstairs. Harry deposits her in the bedroom and enters the en suite.

Merlin swallows as he watches Harry slowly take off his clothes. He gasps as the toned backside is revealed, his eyes glued to the firm muscles and long legs. Harry stares at himself in the mirror for a moment, slightly bending over the sink to get his face close to the glass. Merlin groans, cock rock solid as he watches. Harry slowly turns around towards the camera and Merlin gasps again. Harry’s not hard, of course, but Merlin licks his lips anyway, imagining how it would feel to get him hard, use his mouth and tongue on him. He reaches out and touches the monitor, and that’s when he jolts back to reality. He closes the feed and pushes himself away from the table.

“He’s married…he’s married and in love…in love with Eggsy. They’re happy. He loves Eggsy,” Merlin murmurs to himself. His hands slowly curl into fists, his head pounding. “Eggsy…that obnoxious little shit. He won’t be married to him for long. I’ll make him see.” 

 

“Thank you for meeting me so early, James,” Harry says. “And you, Alan.”

“I must admit…I never thought I’d see you here before seven in the morning, Harry,” James observes.

“I…I didn’t sleep well last night,” Harry confides.

“Have some tea.” James hands them each a cup and leads them to a quiet corner of the lab. “No one’s due in until at least eight. We should have some privacy.”

“Is there anywhere in here that Merlin cannot hear us?” Alan says very quietly. James’ eyes widen and he thinks for a moment.

“Over here. We have a test cell set up for experiments. Soundproof.” He leads them into the clear cage and shuts the door. “Even his tech can’t reach in here.”

“You got my text last night?” Harry asks, sighing as he sits on a chair. 

“Yes. I looked through all of Merlin’s diagnostics. There were a few things here and there, once I even contacted him about a spike in heartrate. He told me he’d spilled hot tea on his hands.”

“James, we’re fairly certain that Merlin’s become obsessed with Harry,” Alan says. He puts a hand on Harry’s shoulder and squeezes. 

“What?”

“It’s been gradual,” Harry tells him. “Little things here and there, flirtations hidden under the guise of friendship. Last night he told me he thinks I should find someone else, that Eggsy’s no good for me.”

“I had no clue,” James says. “From a physical standpoint, there’s been nothing out of the ordinary.”

“We wonder if he hasn’t been suppressing it, controlling it.” Alan sits as well. “Perhaps he doesn’t even notice he’s doing it.”

“What do we do now?” James asks, frowning. “Should we have him speak to Dr. Walmer?”

“Not yet,” Harry says. “I’m a bit afraid of doing something drastic that will set him off. He’s already threatened Alan physically. He’s sent Eggsy on a mission to Russia, and we think it was to get him out of the way.”

“Perhaps the best thing is for the two of you to safely spend some time together,” James muses. “Let me know when he’s with you and I’ll pay special attention to his vitals.”

“Yes,” Alan says slowly. “And when you are, I’ll come in and say something fully intended to get him riled up…something against you, Harry. We can see what happens then.”

“I don’t want to hurt him,” Harry says quietly. “Or lead him on.”

“We already decided he needs to be relieved from Eggsy’s mission. Perhaps you could come up with another project for him to work on?” Alan asks. “Something where he’ll need to spend time with you and won’t question why he’s not handling Eggsy and Gareth.”

“I have an idea,” Harry says. “And I need to tell Eggsy…”

“NO,” Alan and James say together.

“Merlin can’t hurt him while he’s in the field, Harry. And you know it will only make Eggsy worry, and perhaps lose focus,” Alan says gently.

“You’re right.” Harry rubs at his face. “Fuck. When Merlin’s out from under this thing, I’m going to kick his arse.”

“I’ll go speak with Ops when we’re done here, see where we are with finding the scientists,” Alan says as they get up. 

“I’ll ask Merlin to come down for a check-up. We haven’t done one since this all started. Perhaps I can get something out of him,” James suggests. “And I know this is odd, Harry, but if you see anything that worries you, anything in Merlin’s behavior or manner, please try to note when it happens, so I can check it against his vitals.”

“Thank you, both of you.” Harry sighs and gets up.

 

Merlin’s shocked when he arrives to HQ, checks for Harry’s signal, and finds that he’s been in the building since a little after 6:30. He hopes everything’s all right. He sets out from his office and runs into Alan and Harry as they approach Harry’s door. “Arthur, Percival.”

“Morning, Merlin,” Alan says with a smile. He opens Harry’s door and holds it. “Coming in?”

“Yes,” Merlin says vaguely. “I…I see you were on property quite early this morning, Harry. Everything all right?”

“I didn’t sleep well,” Harry admits. “Bad dreams.”

“I’m sorry to hear it. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t need me for something…I slept at home last night.”

“No, it’s fine, Merlin.” 

“After our dinner…” Merlin follows Harry to his desk, completely ignoring Alan. “You didn’t go home. You went to Alan’s?”

Harry looks at Alan and Merlin frowns. “Well, yes. I did.”

“I owed him money,” Alan says. He arrogantly lounges on Harry’s desk like he has a right to be there. “We had a small bet and I was quite overdue in paying.”

“I figured I would stop by while I had the time,” Harry says. He smiles up at Alan. “And you know this cheapskate will do anything to avoid admitting he’s wrong.”

“I do love your pet names for me,” Alan coos, actually chucking Harry under the chin.

Merlin reaches up and slaps Alan’s hand away. Harry and Alan both gape at him. “Is that really how you should treat Arthur, Percival?” Merlin wants to punch Alan in the face, blacken both his eyes. No one touches Harry like that.

“Perhaps not. My apologies, Arthur.” Alan stands up and gives Harry a mocking bow. “I’ll take my leave, then. If you need me, you know where I am. Merlin.” 

“May I sit?” Merlin asks. As soon as Harry nods he sits in the chair across the desk. “I meant what I said…I’m sorry you didn’t sleep well. You know I have very odd hours when it comes to sleep. You can call me any time if you need to talk. I know I gave you a lot to think about last night.”

“And I did think about it, Merlin, I promise you.”

Merlin’s heart jumps into his throat. “Good. I…I just want to take care of you, Harry. Make sure you’re happy.”

“I appreciate that.” Harry shuffles some papers around. “I’m very glad you stopped in this morning, Merlin, because I have something I wanted to ask of you.”

“Anything,” Merlin breathes, leaning forward. 

“I know you’ve been the handler on the mission in Russia. With your approval, I’d like to reassign that to Penelope and have you work on something else. Anyone can be a handler, but you have more specialized skills I’d like to use.”

“You may use me in any way you like, Harry,” Merlin says softly, and he’s pleased when Harry blushes. “Of course you may reassign the mission. You’re Arthur…your wish is my command.”

Harry shivers. “Well, here’s the thing. I’ve been thinking of ways we can improve our tools and gadgets. You did such good work with the lighters…I was thinking about the shoes.”

“The shoes?”

“Yes. The Oxfords have the toxic blades in the toe, of course, but the heel…don’t you think it could be used for something? We don’t have the phone there, of course, but there has to be some sort of tech that we could put in there. I know you can come up with something useful for the agents in the field.”

“Hmmm…” Merlin ponders this, proud of Harry’s faith in him. “I will think about it.”

“I know you’re very busy, Merlin, but if you could look into this and share your results with me, I would appreciate it.” Harry gives him a small smile. 

“Perhaps…perhaps we could have dinner again sometime soon.”

“Perhaps we could,” Harry agrees. “Eggsy will be gone for at least another week or so. I’ll have free time.”

“Right.” Merlin’s hands clench into fists on his lap.

Harry glances at the clock. “Well, I don’t mean to dismiss you, but I’m here this early, I’m sure there’s something I should be doing.”

“Of course. I’ll report to you with my ideas, and I’ll let Penelope know she’s taking over the Russian mission.” Merlin stands. “Harry…I’m glad you weren’t angry with me about last night. I don’t want to hurt you. It’s the last thing I would ever want. I want…I want to take care of you.” Merlin swallows deeply and looks at his feet, suddenly shy. “I want to look out for you.”

“Merlin, you have always been a very good friend to me.” Harry stands as well. He hesitates, then puts a hand on Merlin’s arm. “I know you have always had the best intentions.”

“I do,” Merlin says. He puts his hand over Harry’s, takes it from his arm, and holds it for a brief moment. “I’ll talk to you later.”

 

Harry calls his assistant into his office the second he’s sure Merlin is gone. “Juliet, could you please deliver this to Ector in the science lab? I need you to put it directly into his hands, not anyone else.”

“Of course, sir,” she says. 

Harry pulls a sheet of paper from his desk and scribbles a note to James. _James, there’s no way I can contact you electronically. Merlin can see everything and I know he’s constantly monitoring my whereabouts and my activities. He may have even read the text I sent you last night. I met with him between 7:15 and 7:30, mentioning Eggsy around 7:20. Let me know if you see anything out of the ordinary. HH_

He puts the paper in an envelope and seals it. “Thank you, Juliet.”

“Yes, sir.” She takes the envelope and disappears.


	10. Chapter 10

TEN

“Merlin. Thank you for coming in. We’re overdue for this, but I assure you it won’t take long.” James pats the exam table. “Off with your shirt and hop up, please.”

“Since when are you a medical doctor, James?” But Merlin does as he asks.

“You know I was a medic in the service, Merlin. I can do a basic exam. I’m also the only one with any knowledge of what we’re dealing with.” James checks his eyes, looks in his mouth, checks his ears.

“Oh yes, if I was infected with a love drug, I’m sure the first place it would be evident was in my ears.”

“My my, aren’t you in fine form this morning?” James makes some notes. “Now your blood pressure.” He snakes the cuff around Merlin’s arm.

Merlin smirks at him. He actually is in a great mood, although he’s not quite sure why. He has a busy day ahead of him, and he has a lot of work to do before he can meet Harry and update him on their new project. His smile broadens. Harry. That’s why he’s in a good mood. Now he remembers. They have plans for dinner the next night. A date of sorts. Their first date, if Merlin will have anything to say about it.

“Christ, that thing’s tight,” Merlin hisses. 

“BP’s a bit high but nothing to be concerned about. Pulse is good. Feeling all right, then?”

“To use young Mr. Unwin’s term, fucking aces, James.” 

“Don’t you mean Mr. Unwin-Hart?” James listens to Merlin’s heart and lungs.

“Yes.” Merlin tries not to clench his teeth. “Of course.”

“Everything seems operational.”

“Operational. Great bedside manner, James.”

“You can put your shirt back on,” James says. He sits next to Merlin on the table. “Be honest with me, Merlin. How are you?”

“I’m fine, James. Feel better than I have in years.”

“Do you feel any new…romantic attachments?”

“No,” Merlin says honestly. It’s not new. This feeling for Harry has always been there. Merlin’s sure of that now. He’s hidden it under years of work and stress and friendship, but now he feels like he’s free. He’s free to tell Harry, SHOW Harry how good it can be. How happy they can be together. He just has to work a few kinks out. He doesn’t tell James that, of course. “Nothing new. I’m not looking to shag you, James, I’m sorry to say.”

“Funny,” James says wryly. “Have we made any progress in finding the scientists? I must admit, I’m eager to get all the intel on this, find the antidote.”

“As am I,” Merlin says, and he means it. The drug’s not having an effect on him, but it might not treat the next person so kindly. “My team is doing everything they can.”

“I’m sure they are,” James says. “As always, Merlin, if you feel off, something feels wrong, please let me know.”

“Of course, James. Thank you for your concern.” Merlin claps a hand on James’ leg before sliding off the table. “I’m off. I have a lot to do today.” He whistles as he leaves the lab.

 

“Yes, James,” Harry says absently as he answers his phone.

“If you’d be so kind as to see me before you leave today? I have some information on that project we’re working on.”

Merlin, Harry realizes. “Of course. I don’t see myself leaving before six or seven, so if you go earlier than that, come find me.”

“Will do.”

Harry terminates the call and goes back to his work. Merlin’s team has provided an update on the search for the missing scientists and unfortunately they have nothing of value to report. The men were traced as far as Germany, but they’ve dropped out of sight. Harry hopes it’s temporary. They need to find them, need to get Merlin back to his old self. Harry’s not sure how long he can keep up the charade…or how long he can keep it from Eggsy.

Harry sighs, thinking of his husband. He’d gotten a picture and a slurred voicemail the night before. Gareth and Eggsy surrounded by pretty blond Russian women and empty vodka bottles. “Hello, luv, have a minute ta call ya, sorry I missed ya. Fuck it’s lonely without ya. Tried to have a good time tonight, but feels pretty empty. Don’t worry, pretty birds with big tits don’t got nothin’ on my tall handsome husband an’ his big dick. Love you.”

Harry smiles and shakes his head. He doesn’t even care if Merlin hears that. He loves his husband so much. Someone knocks at the door. He sighs and puts his phone away. “Come in.”  
“Hello, Harry,” Merlin says. “I hope I’m not intruding.”

“Of course not. There’s no good time for interruptions when you’re Arthur.” He points to the seat across from him. “Please sit.”

“Thank you.” Merlin smiles at him. “You look happy. Your eyes…something’s pleased you.”

Harry shrugs, thinking of Eggsy. Merlin knows him better than anyone. He would be the one to notice something that subtle. “Just having a good day, I suppose.”

“Myself as well,” Merlin replies. “And now here we are.” He opens his computer and turns it towards Harry. “I’ve tried not to make this too complicated…not that I think you’re stupid or anything,” he says hurriedly. Harry waves him off. “I have these ideas. Not flushed out as of yet, but I wanted to get your opinion.” Merlin stands, grabs his chair, and moves it next to Harry. “Easier this way, isn’t it?” 

“Of course,” Harry says. He hears Merlin inhale deeply as he sits down. “And I know you wouldn’t ever intentionally insult my intelligence, Merlin.”

“That is very true.” Merlin taps a few keys and begins to explain.

Even with everything going on, Harry cannot help but admire Merlin’s quick mind. He’s devised not one but four possible uses for the heel of their shoes. His explanation is detailed but nothing too complicated for Harry to understand. “My God, Merlin, did you even sleep? This…this is so much work.”

“I don’t mind. And you know I rarely sleep.” Merlin winks at him. “Maybe if I wasn’t sleeping alone, I’d be in my bed more often.”

Harry’s never had a problem flirting. They’d actually called him the Casanova of their training class when they’d started doing honeypot missions. Now, however, he finds he cannot do it. He cannot lead his best friend on this way. He doesn’t want to encourage these feelings Merlin’s having, whether they’re false or actually built on something real. “Well, it’s true, I tend to sleep better with Eggsy beside me,” he says finally.

Merlin snorts and grabs the computer back. “Harry, you…” He shakes his head and stands. “I don’t want to talk about this right now. Not here. We’re still on for dinner tomorrow night, correct?”

“Yes, of course,” Harry says hurriedly, standing as well. “Merlin, if I’ve offended you…” He pauses, reaching out for his friend.

“Of course you haven’t. Nothing to apologize for.” Merlin takes the outstretched hand. “I’ve sent you everything I just told you. Read it over and tell me which option you feel is best, and I’ll continue to work on it.” 

“Very well.” Harry slowly pulls his hand back and walks Merlin to the door of his office. “Any idea where you’d like to go for dinner?”

“How about something simple? We can decide when we leave tomorrow.”

Harry’s going to make sure it’s someplace very public, a place where Merlin cannot possibly try anything without everyone seeing. “That sounds good. Thank you again for all your hard work.”

“It’s my pleasure, Harry. I meant it when I said your wish is my command. No matter what.” Merlin gives him a sly wink as he leaves the office.

Harry closes the door and leans against it, suddenly exhausted. “Fuck.” He gets up and removes his glasses, rubbing his face for a moment. He then straightens himself out, places his glasses on the desk and leaves the office. He heads for Alan’s smaller office, smiling to himself as he thinks how happy Eggsy would be if he knew that Harry was spending more time with his ex. For some reason Eggsy has gravitated towards Alan, and Alan has welcomed the friendship. Harry knows Eggsy feels sorry for Alan, thinks that so much of his cold veneer is an attempt to hide his heart. Harry is still a bit wary of Alan’s true feelings towards Eggsy, but seeing how Alan has jumped at the chance to help Harry with the whole Merlin thing has made him realize that Alan is an honest and true friend to them both, as well as to Merlin.

He knocks and Alan calls him in. “Arthur!” Alan says in surprise. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

“I thought I might go out for some fresh air…would you care to join me?”

“I go where my Arthur commands,” Alan says with a sweeping bow.

“Oh fuck off, you idiot,” Harry snaps. No matter how friendly Alan’s being, he still has the ability to get under Harry’s skin with his snarky comments.

Alan waits until they’re on the path behind the building to speak again. “I’m assuming you wanted a bit of privacy.”

“Yes. Have you heard anything from Ops about the scientists?”

“They hope they’re still in Europe,” Alan says, frowning. “Unfortunately that’s it.” 

“That’s what I figured,” Harry says with a sigh. “We need to find them, Alan. I can’t continue to play this game with Merlin.”

“Couldn’t we accidentally put him into a medically-induced coma?” Alan suggests.

“Alan!”

“Well, why not? He’d be quiet, he’d be safe, and he’d be off your cock long enough for us to find those scientists.”

“I’m SO glad I came to you for reassurance,” Harry gripes. He starts to walk away.

“Come on, Harry, don’t be such a bastard,” Alan says. “I know what this is all about. It’s not about Merlin at all. You’re horny and you miss your husband.”

Harry gapes at him but continues walking. “I’m not discussing this with you.”

“You ARE. You’re missing that perfect arse, those perfect pink lips. You’re going through withdrawal.”

“Alan…grrr…” Harry actually growls and Alan laughs.

Alan looks behind Harry and grins. “Time to test our little theory.” He checks his watch. “Right. Got the time. Play along, will you?” Alan steps closer to Harry and whispers in his ear. “It’s up to you if you want to actually enjoy me being this close to you.”

“He’s coming, isn’t he?” Harry murmurs back. 

Alan reaches up to touch Harry’s face. “Yes, he is.”

“What’s going on here?” Merlin gasps as he reaches them. Harry pulls away.

“Just a little game. I was winning,” Alan says with a leer at Harry.

“You will never win with me, Alan,” Harry snaps.

Merlin looks absolutely furious. “Have you no concept of personal space, Percival?”

“I do when the person isn’t interested in me invading their space,” Alan says lightly. “And we all know Harry loves it when I get up close and personal.”

“I highly doubt that,” Merlin snaps before Harry can say anything.

“Why are you even down here, Merlin? I thought you said Eggsy was Harry’s Excalibur, not you.” 

Merlin gives Alan an angry shove. “Merlin!” Harry gasps. “Calm down.”

“I…I…” Merlin’s face turns pale. “My God, Alan, I’m sorry. I…I don’t know what came over me.”

“It’s all right, Merlin,” Alan says in a voice that’s gentler than Harry’s ever heard. “I’m sure most people want to give me a good shove on a daily basis.”

“Are you all right, Merlin?” Harry asks. His voice is full of concern but he doesn’t touch him.

“Yes, I’m fine. I’m just…I’ll go back in. My apologies, Alan.”

“Nothing to apologize for,” Alan says. Merlin nods and plods back towards the building.

“Fucking hell,” Harry murmurs and Alan nods in agreement.

Harry doesn’t sleep well that night, worrying about his dinner with Merlin the next evening. The entire situation is wearing him down in a way he hadn’t thought possible. He arrives early to HQ and spends ninety minutes in the gym, followed by a thirty minute massage. Juliet greets him at his office door before he can even open it. “I have a message from Ops, sir.”

“All right.” Harry frowns as he opens his door. 

“They said that Agents Tristan and Gareth are done with their mission, and should be returning sometime tomorrow evening.”

Harry’s face lights up. He knows he should be embarrassed by his reaction, but for once he doesn’t care. “Thank you, Juliet.”

 

Merlin paces in front of the pub, biting at a fingernail. He occasionally rubs a hand over his bald head, a usual tell of his anxiety. This is the night. This is the time. Eggsy’s coming home tomorrow, and he has to work everything out with Harry. They can discuss everything, decide where to go with their relationship. They need to decide on the right way to tell Eggsy. No one wants to hear they’re getting divorced, do they? Merlin knows Harry will find the right words to use. He’s always been able to guide Eggsy into doing the right thing, and this is most DEFINITELY the right thing.

“Merlin.” Merlin whirls around. “I’m so sorry I’m late.”

“I don’t understand why you always feel the need to apologize for your tardiness when anyone who’s ever met you more than once expects it,” Merlin says, shaking his head.

“I should probably be offended by that, but I’m actually not,” Harry says with a laugh. Merlin sighs. This night is going to be amazing if Harry’s already laughing. “Shall we? I hope you don’t mind I chose somewhere like this…apparently their fish and chips are worth talking about.”

“I don’t mind at all.” Merlin follows Harry into the pub to a booth in the back. 

“Privacy,” Harry says and Merlin beams. Exactly.

They chat a bit as they look over the menu, finally ordering fish and chips and pints of Guinness. “You know, Harry, I can find something for Alan to do if he’s annoying you.”

“Well, it’s not that bad. Alan likes to see how far he can push me.” Harry shrugs. “It’s like having an annoying puppy around.”

“I just hate sending him out for something mundane. I meant what I said, he has a very special set of skills.”

“Well, hopefully we can send him out to retrieve those scientists.”

“Any day now,” Merlin promises. “Intel has them somewhere in Italy. We’ll find them, Harry.”

“I hope so.” Harry gulps down his Guinness and orders another.

“So. Harry.” Merlin fiddles with his glass a bit. “You know about my family home, correct?”

“I don’t think I do,” Harry says. “I know you’re from central Scotland…”

“Yes. Outside Perth. It’s not much, but we do still have a small house there. Not much more than a cottage, really. It’s near enough to town to get supplies, but secluded enough that you can hide there for a bit.”

“Sounds nice,” Harry says with a sigh. 

“I was thinking I might take a holiday once we have the scientists back. It’s been forever since I’ve gone away. Years, probably. I think now is the time, though.”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea, Merlin!” Harry exclaims as their food arrives. “You work far too hard. I will most definitely approve any time you want to take, whenever you want it.”

“Well, you’d have to approve for yourself as well, of course.” Merlin bites at a chip and hisses at the heat. “I should know better. Fucking hell.” He takes a large gulp of Guinness.

“For myself?”

“Yes. You’d be coming with me. I think we would have a marvelous time. It’s so beautiful this time of year.”

Harry stares at him with confusion in his brown eyes. “Merlin, I’m not going on holiday with you. I can’t.”

“Of course you can. You’re Arthur. You can go where you want. And there are more than enough capable people at HQ…”

“Merlin, I can’t go on holiday with you. It’s not…we…I’m married.”

“For now,” Merlin says simply, cutting up his fish. “I’ve looked into it. There are a variety of ways to go about it. Obviously you’ve not deserted him, or he you…and I don’t want us to wait through all the years of separation the law requires. That leaves unreasonable behavior or adultery.”

“You’ve researched divorce?” Harry gasps.

“Of course I have.” Merlin covers Harry’s hand with his own. “I want this to be as easy as possible. I’ve even found a house for Eggsy. It’s empty and he can move in as soon as he’s ready.” Merlin orders another Guinness. “I dare say with our situation, as embarrassing as it may seem, adultery may be the best way to go. I’m sure anyone who knows you, however, would understand.”

“Merlin.” Harry grabs Merlin’s wrist and slowly pushes his hand back across the table. “What are you saying?”

“Harry…” Merlin slaps himself in the forehead. “Fuck, Harry, I guess I’ve never really said it, have I? I love you, Harry. I love you, and I want to be with you. I’ve thought about it…dreamt about it, if we’re being honest…and I know that it’s right. I’m everything that’s good for you.”

“Merlin,” Harry whispers, his face very pale.

“Are you all right? Are you sick?” Merlin almost knocks over his glass as he reaches for Harry.

“I might be,” Harry says faintly. “Merlin, I’m honored that you feel this way about me, but…”

“Now you’re sounding like an Austen novel,” Merlin says, amused at Harry’s words. “Really, Harry.”

“I…you can’t. We can’t. I won’t.” Harry closes his eyes and swallows deeply. “Merlin, you’re my best friend. I love you that way…as a friend.”

“Don’t you see? That’s why we’re perfect for each other. We know each other better than anyone on the planet. And we already know we’re compatible in other ways.” Merlin winks at Harry. “It couldn’t be easier.”

“I don’t know how to make you see, Merlin. I don’t love you that way. I love Eggsy. I’m married to Eggsy.”

“And I don’t know how to make YOU see, Harry,” Merlin snaps. Harry blinks. “You’re married to Eggsy FOR NOW. You think you love him, which will pass. I will take care of everything.”

“But I don’t WANT you to. I’m not divorcing him. He’s not moving out. I’m not…we’re not…I’m not going on holiday with you and I don’t have those feelings for you.” Harry looks miserable and something stabs through Merlin. “I’m sorry.”

“I know you are.” Merlin reaches over and pats his hand. “I won’t take no for an answer, Harry. I’ll make you see. I’ll fix everything.”

“I…I need to go. I’m sorry, Merlin. I…” Harry jumps to his feet, throwing money on the table.

Merlin stands as well. “Trust me, Harry. I’ll fix it. I always do.” He reaches out to briefly touch Harry’s face. Harry swallows and hurries away without saying another word. 

Merlin sits back down and picks up his knife and fork again. He’ll give Harry some time to let the news sink in, and then they’ll talk again. He knows there were probably more romantic ways he could have declared his love, but really, aren’t they a bit old for romance?

 

Harry tries to regulate his breathing when he’s finally in the back of a cab. He’d known it was coming, but that didn’t make it any easier. Divorce? A new home for Eggsy? Merlin truly had planned for everything. Harry’d never felt so alone. The one person he normally went to for comfort when things were bad – other than his husband – was the one person who was making his life a nightmare. He couldn’t call anyone, couldn’t even message them. Merlin could see everything.

Harry gets out of the cab in front of his house and stood on the walk for a long moment. Even home wasn’t safe anymore. Not only could Merlin see everything he did, but he could actually walk into Harry’s house if he wanted. He slowly goes up the stairs and undid the security protocols. “Hello, Eliza dear,” he says wearily. He picks her up, cradling her to his chest. She is the closest thing to Eggsy he has, and he welcomes her wet kisses on his face. “I love you,” he murmurs.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy returns from his mission. Things get harsh.
> 
> PS - no dogs were harmed in the creation of this story

ELEVEN

Harry finally drifts off to sleep around three in the morning, wakening again a little before six. He groans and stares at the ceiling, realizing that sleep will not be his friend that day. He gets up, takes care of Eliza, and comes back upstairs to shower. He winces at the dark circles under his eyes. This is getting ridiculous. 

Harry stands in front of his closet in his dressing gown, staring at his armor in the closet. The beautiful suits that have always felt like an extra layer of protection against whatever the world chose to throw at him on a given day. For once those suits would do absolutely nothing to help him. He closes the closet door and sighs. He absolutely cannot do it. He cannot be Arthur today. Normally he would call Merlin and tell him he’s not coming in, but obviously he can’t do that. He goes for his phone on the nightstand and sees Eggsy’s puppy dressing gown hanging from the back of the en suite door. He slowly walks over, stares at it for a moment, then takes it down. He sits on the bed and holds it, simply enjoying the feel of it in his hands. 

Eggsy. He’ll be back sometime in the next twelve to eighteen hours, and maybe Harry’s world will be a little more centered. He’ll use the day off to make something for dinner. Lasagna. He’s watched Eggsy make it, has Eggsy’s recipe, and they can easily reheat it if Eggsy arrives later than planned. He’ll go to the shops, buy fresh ingredients, and pour his love for his husband into his dinner. Merlin can’t take that away from him.

 

“What do you mean, he’s not coming in?” Merlin gapes at Harry’s young assistant.

“That’s what he said, sir.” She fidgets nervously. “I had a message when I arrived. He’s not feeling well and is staying home today. We’re only supposed to contact him on pressing matters. He…he said we were to contact you with anything else, sir.”

Merlin feels a rush of pride sweep through him. Harry had pretty much left him in charge of Kingsman. “I see. Thank you, Juliet.”

Merlin slowly walks back to his office. He hopes Harry wasn’t truly ill. Perhaps he’s simply preparing for the delivery of Eggsy’s bad news. He closes the door to his office and slides behind his desk. He brings up the cameras for Harry’s home and sees Harry at his kitchen table drinking a cup of tea and reading the newspaper. He smiles fondly. Even in his dressing gown Harry is absolutely charming. He doesn’t look ill.

Merlin logs onto the Kingsman system and starts checking in on various departments. No matter what, he takes his position at Kingsman very seriously. Everyone’s doing what they should, there are no fires to put out in the field, and Eggsy and Gareth are due back around dinnertime.

He’s surprised to see Harry come downstairs dressed and ready to leave the house around ten. Obviously he’s not very ill. He cannot turn on the feed for Harry’s glasses without him noticing, so he has to settle for following the tracker under Harry’s skin. He heads down into the small shopping area and stays there for almost an hour. Merlin’s actually relieved when Harry returns to the house and he can keep a good eye on him.

Harry heads for the kitchen and starts unpacking his bags. Merlin realizes he’s talking to the dog and turns the audio up. This should be interesting. “Yes, Eliza. Your daddy will be home tonight. I’m happy to see him, are you?” The dog actually barks in response. If Merlin wasn’t so incensed at Harry’s words he’d think the whole scene entirely cute. “We are going to make him dinner, have everything perfect for him when he gets home. We’re going to show him exactly how much we missed him, aren’t we, dear?” Harry actually picks the dog up and kisses her head.

“Fuck,” Merlin snaps, glaring at Harry. Apparently the talk they’d had the night before hadn’t really settled in. Harry still…Merlin shakes his head. He’ll have to take care of this once and for all.

 

“This show really is ridiculous,” Harry says to Eliza as they lay on the sofa in the television room. Harry has run out of things to do, and since he knows Merlin will be watching him, he figures it’s just easiest to stay home. He’d finally scrolled through the channels on the telly and found the show that Eggsy loves, The Only Way is Essex. He’d watched it with Eggsy before but never really given it his full attention, mostly because when they watched it Eggsy was normally on his lap. “How does your Daddy enjoy this, Eliza? I thought him much smarter than this.” The dog snorts in her sleep and Harry chuckles. “My sentiments exactly, dear girl.”

His phone rings and he jumps. He’s both relieved and alarmed when he sees Eggsy’s name on the caller ID. “Eggsy! Hello, darling boy.”

“Fuck, ‘arry, it’s great ta hear yer voice. Missed you somethin’ fierce.”

“And I you. Where are you?”

“Just landed in London. I’ll stop by yer office once I’m back, and…”

“That won’t be necessary,” Harry says quickly. “I’m not in the office today. Took a sick day.”

“Sick day? You don’t take sick days, ‘arry. Are you all right, luv?”

“I’m totally fine. Better once I get my arms around you.” Harry’s entire body aches for Eggsy’s touch. “I just…I haven’t been sleeping well.”

“Miss me, did you?” Eggsy chuckles.

“Always. Can’t wait to get your clothing off and your wedding ring back on.” Harry desperately hopes Merlin isn’t listening in on this conversation.

“Sounds fuckin’ aces, ‘arry. Didya leave Merlin in charge then?”

“Of course.”

“All right, I’ll stop by his office an’…”

“NO!” Harry says sharply. Eggsy is silent. “I’m sorry, my boy. It’s just…it’s not necessary. Gareth is senior agent, he can report on your mission.”

“Well, shouldn’t I say hello…”

“Merlin knows you’ll want to come right home,” Harry says quickly. “And Arthur wants you right home.” He lowers his voice.

“Fuck.” Harry can imagine the shock on Eggsy’s face. Harry doesn’t allow their home life to come into HQ, and he definitely never lets Arthur’s position come home. “All right, ‘arry. I’ll text you from the cab then.”

“Good. I love you, Eggsy.”

“Love you, too, ‘arry.”

 

“Gareth. Welcome back.” Merlin waves him in. The agent is built like a rugby player and Merlin’s thankful he’s never been on the wrong side of his short temper. “How did everything go?”

“Went well, thanks, Merlin. In the future, please sign me up for any missions with Tristan. He’s a good agent. He’s intelligent, thinks well on his feet. He definitely has a clearer mind than I do in the field.”

“Where is he? I expected the two of you to report.” Merlin frowns.

“Figured you’d just need me, senior agent and all. He stopped by medical for clearance quick and then was going home once you give us the okay. I think we both know why.” Gareth allows himself a small smirk.

“Indeed.” Merlin sighs. “Please give me your report, then, Gareth.”

Gareth talks for twenty minutes and Merlin pays attention for about five. Eggsy can’t leave HQ until Arthur – or Merlin, in his place – gives the approval. Merlin is half-tempted to keep Eggsy on site for some reason, but realizes it’s better for everyone involved to get it all over with.

“And that’s about it,” Gareth finishes.

“Well done. Both of you. I relieve you of duty and will pass along the same message to Agent Tristan. We’ll see you in a few days, then.”

“Yes, sir.” Gareth dips his head respectfully and leaves the office. 

As soon as he’s gone, Merlin jumps to his feet. He gets his suit out of the closet and quickly begins to dress. He knows Eggsy is itching to get home, probably exhausted from the flight and missing his husband. Merlin’s counting on that exhaustion, on that weariness, to put Eggsy in exactly the sort of light that Harry needs to see. He’s already in a Kingsman cab when he sends the authorization for Eggsy to go home.

 

Merlin idles in the alley around the corner from Harry’s house, waiting for the familiar Kingsman car to come down the street. Once he sees it he slowly walks towards the house, keeping his head down. Eggsy pulls himself from the cab, every inch of his body drooping with fatigue. He seems to stand up a bit straighter as he looks at the house and Merlin sighs. Take one last good look at it, lad, he thinks to himself.

“Eggsy.”

Eggsy whirls around. “Merlin? That you?”

“Yes.” Merlin steps into the glow of the streetlight.

“Don’t ya look posh,” Eggsy says, giving him a tired smile. “Hot date?”

“You could say that.” Merlin looks down at his very favorite Kingsman suit, knowing he cuts quite the dashing figure in the dark blue fabric. Harry absolutely needs to see that what he’s gaining far outweighs what he thinks he’s losing. “I wondered if I might speak with you.”

“I thought Gareth already talked to ya.”

“He did. This isn’t about the mission.”

“Well…couldn’t it wait? I just got home.”

“A fact of which I am fully aware. This won’t take long.”

“All right.” Eggsy gives him an odd look but heads up to the house. “Come on in.”

He barely has the door open before he’s swept into someone’s arms. “Darling boy.”

“Harry.” Eggsy wraps himself around Harry, fiercely kissing him. His hands fist in Harry’s curly hair as Eliza yips around their feet.

“I’ve missed you so much. I’m so glad you’re home. I…” Harry looks over his shoulder. “Jesus fucking Christ. What are you doing here?”

“He was waiting ta speak ta me,” Eggsy says. “It’s Merlin, ‘arry. Not like he hasn’t been here before.”

“Merlin, please, don’t,” Harry begs. Merlin could weep at the despair radiating from Harry’s entire body. “I beg of you.”

“As I said to Eggsy, Harry, this won’t take long.” Merlin positions himself between Eggsy and Harry, forcing them to release each other.

“What the fuck?” Eggsy’s eyes are glued to Harry’s face. “Harry…are you all right?” He scoops Eliza up and gives her a few kisses to settle her. He puts her back down and continues to stare at his husband.

“He’s more than fine, lad, now that I’ve set him straight about a few things.” Merlin smiles kindly at him. “I figured he shouldn’t have to tell you alone.”

“Tell me what?”

“Merlin…Merlin thinks he’s in love with me,” Harry says dully.

Merlin furiously turns on Harry. “I don’t THINK it, I KNOW it. And it’s made me realize a few other things as well.” He turns back to Eggsy. “While I appreciate everything you’ve done for Harry, lad, I believe it’s time for us all to face facts and move on.”

“An’ what facts are those, Merlin?”

“The fact that while you have been a very amusing diversion for Harry, it’s time for him to have a real relationship with someone worthy of his affection.” Merlin beams at Harry, who has crumpled into a pile on the stairs. 

“Someone worthy? Yer sayin’ I ain’t fuckin’ worthy?” Eggsy snaps.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying. I was trying to keep this civil, Eggsy, but you’re forcing my hand.” Merlin pulls himself to his full height and glowers down at him. “Look at where you come from. The gutter. The estates. The street. You’re nothing, you come from nothing, you have nothing to offer him. Harry’s educated, he comes from a good family. You are nothing but at embarrassment to him, and that’s all you ever will be.”

“Merlin,” Eggsy says weakly, shock all over his face. 

“I know this isn’t easy to hear, but it must be said. You were a rentboy, Gary Unwin, you let men fuck you for money. You say it was only for a few weeks, but do we know that for sure? I know your history. I know money was tight in your house, and I know the kind of man your stepfather is. Can we honestly believe he didn’t peddle your pretty arse out some other time?”

“Merlin!” Harry gasps.

“We only have his word, Harry. You’ve seen how quickly he offered to spend time with Alan, and we know what kind of person HE is. Our lad here was far too quick to jump when it was suggested that they work one-on-one. And we know how eager Alan would be to spend some quality time with Eggsy.”

“What…fuck, Merlin!” Eggsy seems to be at a loss for word. “Me an’ Alan? Are ya insane?”

“That’s right…you don’t know…” Merlin all but coos. 

“Merlin, stop,” Harry begs. Merlin ignores him. He has to make Harry see that his way is the only way.

“Harry didn’t see fit to tell you, perhaps he realized you weren’t mature enough to handle it. On the disastrous day you were to leave for your honeymoon, Alan admitted that he had feelings for you. More than friendly feelings. More than just wanting to, how did he put it, “plow that gorgeous arse six ways to Sunday.” Said if he thought he could turn you away from Harry, he would do it in a heartbeat.”

“What? Is this true, ‘arry?” Eggsy gasps.

“Yes,” Harry says in a small voice. “It’s why I didn’t like you spending time with Alan. I didn’t trust him.”

“Or me, apparently.” Eggsy looks at Merlin. “So…I’m not good enough for Harry because ya think I’m fuckin’ Alan?”

“No. You’re not good enough for Harry because you’re Eggsy Unwin. You will never BE good enough. You’re uneducated, unpolished, cheap estate trash and you’re lucky he ever gave you the time of day. You realize that anything he’s ever done for you is because of the immense guilt he feels, the debt he thinks he needs to repay because of your father. You can pick up a pence from the gutter, clean it and buff it and give it a shine, but it will still smell of the gutter. And you do. The stench is all over you. Harry has cleaned you up, taught you how to walk and talk and shoot, but…it’s just a façade. At the end of day, you’re still stupid little Eggsy.” Merlin steps forward until Eggsy’s back is against the wall, tears filling his blue-green eyes. “I can give Harry what he needs. We’re cut from the same cloth. We’re born in the same decade, for God’s sake, unlike you. You’re a child, a puppy yipping at his feet. I understand Harry because we’re the same type of person. I know the darkness inside him, I know that he needs something substantial, not some pretty little plaything. You can give him your pretty mouth, your sweet little arse, but that’s ALL you can be to him. I can do that as well, but the difference is I know what the FUCK I’m doing,” Merlin hisses. “I’m sure someone else will take you, even if you’re…used.” He takes a card from his jacket and slides it into Eggsy’s pocket. “This is the address for your new home. I’ve already taken the liberty to furnish it, although you can change whatever you want. An account has been opened for you in your name only, and funds were deposited this morning. Tomorrow Harry will start divorce proceedings, which I’ve taken the liberty of researching.”

“Merlin,” Eggsy whispers. “Please…do ya hear yerself?”

“Loud and clear. But apparently you DON’T.” Merlin raises his voice. “Get the fuck out of here. And if you try to talk to Harry again, I will make sure you regret it!” 

Eggsy actually sobs and Eliza whimpers. “Merlin…Harry…” Eggsy gasps, looking at his husband who is staring at Merlin in shock. Eliza whimpers again and starts to bark, pawing at Merlin’s leg.

“For fuck’s sake, will you get your rat off of me? Figures you’d have a mongrel like this for a pet.” Merlin moves his foot in the dog’s direction, sending her a few feet away.

“Do not kick my dog, you fuckin’ prick!” Eggsy finally shoves him in the chest even as tears run down his face. He scoops her up and cuddles her.

“Don’t touch me.” Merlin flips his hand and a blade shoots from his right cuff. “Blood’s easy enough to clean up. I’ve had practice.” The blade moves dangerously close to Eggsy’s throat. “I’ve been thinking about this for a long time now.”

“Merlin!” Harry clambers to his feet but Merlin does not turn around. “Merlin…Merlin…” Harry grabs the hand with the knife, spins Merlin by the shoulders and kisses him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the Merlin/Harry chapter. Just a warning...and also not to disappoint anyone...this chapter has a Teen rating at the most.

TWELVE

Harry hears Eggsy’s gasp, feels Merlin stiffen against him before falling into the kiss. The knife slides back with a click and Merlin’s hands are in his hair. “Harry,” he breathes when Harry moves away.

“Go upstairs, Merlin. The guest room. You know where it is. I’ll take care of this and meet you up there.” Harry gently strokes the back of Merlin’s head. “Wait for me. All right?”

“Yes…yes, Harry, whatever you want.” The look he gives Eggsy is savage victory. “I’ll wait for you.” Merlin quickly trots up the stairs.

“What the fuck, ‘arry?” Eggsy snaps. “I don’t even know what ta fuckin’ say.”

“You need to call James. Tell him Merlin’s become violent. See if he can come up with anything.”

“Well then tranq his psycho arse!” Eggsy all but shouts. “We’re spies, ain’t we?”

“Darling, please, keep your voice down,” Harry begs. He reaches for Eggsy but his husband shrinks away. “We can’t do that, we don’t know how it will interact with what he has going through him. It’s been so gradual but…”

“How long has this been goin’ on, ‘arry?”

“Since you left. Before you left, actually, but it’s not gone this far until now. He…he told me he thought you were wrong for me, and then this. I’ll explain later. Just…call James. I need to go back upstairs. Need to make sure he doesn’t come after you.” Harry looks up the steps. “I couldn’t tell you while you were on your mission, and I didn’t want to tell you on the phone.”

Eggsy’s eyes widen. “So, now what”

“I’ll stay upstairs with him, keep him away from you. Whatever it takes…just get with James.”

“Whatever it takes?”

“Eggsy, it’s Merlin. It’s our friend. I’m hoping I can draw on that, can calm him down. I’ve always been the one to talk Merlin out of stupid decisions.”

“It’s our friend who just called me a cheap slut an’ is movin’ in on my husband! Ya sure yer not enjoyin’ this? Quite the ego boost, innit?”

“Eggsy!”

“I know it’s not tha real Merlin, ‘arry. Doesn’t make it any easier.”

“Darling…”

“DON’T.” Eggsy’s eyes are like steel.

“Think of it as a mission. It’s just…”

“It’s just nothin’, ‘arry.” Eggsy pulls out his phone. “I’ll call James an’ let ya know what’s goin’ in. If yer goin’ back up there, fuckin’ go.” He turns away from Harry. “Just don’t expect me down here when yer finished.”

“Eggsy…” Harry says helplessly. “I don’t know what else to do.”

“We’re trained fuckin’ assassins, ‘arry. You could kick his bald arse.”

“Could you punch him? Could you hit him, knowing that it’s not him talking? This is MERLIN, Eggsy.”

Eggsy hangs his head. “Trust me, ‘arry. That’s the only thing that’s keepin’ me from goin’ up there an’ beatin’ him bloody senseless. Just GO.”

 

Merlin removes his suit coat and neatly hangs it over the back of a chair, placing his tie overtop. Eggsy’s things are strewn about the room, but he smiles when he realizes they won’t be there for long. Harry kissed him. Harry was taking care of things. 

“Merlin.” Harry appears in the doorway looking exhausted.

“Harry.” Merlin pulls Harry into the room and kisses him again. “Harry, I love you so much. I want you so much…want you to be happy.” His hands stroke through the soft hair. “I want to worship you. Go on my knees for you.” He gives Harry a tender kiss, loving the taste of him. Harry’s lips are so soft, surprising compared to his tight hard exterior. Merlin had forgotten that. 

“That’s not necessary, Merlin. I care about you, too, Merlin. More than you can ever know.” Harry looks at him for a long moment and then dips his head a bit. Merlin eagerly works his mouth down the long expanse of throat Harry bares to him. He sighs against Harry’s skin.

“Oh, Harry.” Merlin wants to weep as his hands caress the strong back. He takes the bottom of Harry’s jumper and slowly pulls it over his head. “Beautiful.” Harry sighs, swallows, and then he feels Harry’s hands start to undo his buttons. Merlin leans his forehead on Harry’s so he can watch. “You have amazing hands, Harry.” Harry makes a noncommittal sound, sliding the shirt from Merlin’s body. 

Harry allows Merlin to lead him to the bed. “I’m sorry you’ve gone through all this, Merlin. We’ll make it better,” he promises. “Let’s just lay here for a bit, all right?”

“I know we will. Together. Everything will be perfect.” Merlin allows Harry to lay him back on the bed and sighs happily as Harry straddles his waist. They kiss again, Merlin’s mouth sliding down Harry’s neck to his shoulder. “So perfect.” His hands learn Harry’s chest, fingernails grazing over his nipples. Harry doesn’t make a sound as they harden at Merlin’s touch. “I want to touch all of you, kiss every part of you.” Merlin takes Harry’s arm and begins a line of kisses from his bicep to his palm. He licks the skin there, turning Harry’s fingers in his hand. Merlin’s thumb touches cool metal and he freezes. His eyes are glued to the wedding ring on Harry’s left hand, the ring that he’d help create.

“Merlin?”

Fire burns through his brain as he shoves Harry away, pain sinking in his heart. “Harry. Oh fuck, Harry. Oh my GOD what have I done?” Merlin jumps off the bed, clutching at his head.

“Merlin? What…are you…”

“Fuck, fuck NO.” Merlin paces by the bed.

“Merlin.” Harry reaches out for him.

“Harry, my amazing Harry.” Merlin grabs him and kisses him, then pushes him away. “Fuck! NO. You’re married…you’re married to Eggsy…oh GOD Eggsy, the things I said.” He kicks a chair and it splinters against the wall. “You need to initiate the Sword in the Stone, Harry. IMMEDIATELY.”

“Merlin!”

“I’m not fit for service, and I’m not safe. I’m a danger to myself and those around me.” He digs his hand into Harry’s trouser pocket and comes out with his cellphone. “You need to do it. Call it in fucking NOW, Harry. Jesus.” Merlin’s hand shakes as he hands Harry his phone. “Call it in. The car will come for me. I’ll isolate myself in my suite until James can help me.” Harry takes the phone and starts to dial the number. “This is why I created the damn program, in case I was compromised in any way.”

Harry puts the phone up to his ear, his voice wavering a bit. “Arthur, security code one one one zero eight nine. Enacting Sword in the Stone protocol immediately. Send secure car to my home immediately. Emergency status.” He hangs up the phone. “You know it will be here within five minutes, unless they’re already in the area.”

Merlin drapes himself over Harry’s back, biting the back of his neck. “We have time, Harry. Don’t know why you called for a car but we have time. Want you to fuck me so bad, Harry, please.” Merlin rubs his erection against Harry’s beautiful arse. He’s not sure why Harry wants a car, where are they going? 

“Merlin,” Harry says softly. He slowly turns them around. He takes Merlin’s hands in his. “Look at my hands.”

“They’re beautiful…” Merlin sees the wedding band again and everything comes rushing back. “Fuck.” He grabs his shirt off the floor, ignoring his jacket and tie. He stumbles from the room and almost falls down the stairs. Eggsy’s gone and Eliza’s barking like mad from her crate. He leans against the front door, panting for breath.

“Merlin,” Harry says, slowly coming down after him.

“Stop…stay away from me, please!” Merlin pleads. “I don’t know…what have I done? I threatened Eggsy, said…oh my GOD.” A car slams to a stop in front of Harry’s house. “Please tell him I’m sorry.” Merlin undoes the security protocols and throws himself out the door. 

 

Eggsy watches Harry go up the stairs and sighs, his heart breaking in his chest. He dials James’ number. “James. Merlin’s gone fuckin’ mental. Claimed ‘arry for his own an’ threatened me with a knife. He said ta call ya, asked that ya please figure out what ta do.”

“Jesus Christ! Where are they now?”

“Fuckin’, probably,” Eggsy snaps. “Harry said he’ll keep him under control. Said we can’t dart him, it could hurt him or somethin’?” Eggsy jumps as he hears a smash above his head. “I did what I was told. Please help them, James. They’re at Harry’s house.” Eggsy hangs up and leaves the house without looking back.

He walks for a bit, trying to figure out where he’s going or what he should do. His mind is hazy, still trying to progress what’s going on. He makes turns and stops at intersections without even seeing what’s in front of him. It’s only when he’s knocking on a door that he realizes where he is.

“Eggsy.” Alan stares at him. Eggsy’s sure he looks ridiculous. Wrinkled suit, pale face, tear-swollen eyes. “Come in.”

One of the things Eggsy loves about Alan is his ability to accept whatever shows up in front of him without acting like it’s a major event. “Hello.”

Alan studies him for a moment. “How about you take a shower? I have something that could possibly fit you. Have you eaten?”

“If I eat I’ll fuckin’ puke,” Eggsy says with certainty. 

“I’d rather you didn’t. So no food, then.” Alan leads the way upstairs. His house is nice but smaller than Harry’s. Eggsy notices that it seems a lot less like a home, a lot less lived in. “Bathroom’s in here. I’ll find you trousers and a shirt.”

“Thank you.”

Eggsy stands under the hot water for a half-hour before he turns it to cold. He welcomes the darts of ice against his skin, finally getting out when he starts truly shivering. He dries himself and puts on the track pants and tee. They’re both too big, the pants bunching at his ankles. 

He returns downstairs. Alan is waiting in one of the parlors, a bottle of scotch and two glasses on a table. “Have a seat.” He pats the sofa next to him.

Eggsy sits a good distance away and gulps down the scotch. Alan refills his glass without a word. “You love me.”

Alan actually takes in a short breath. “I am very fond of you.”

“You love me. Merlin said so. You told Harry you have feelings for me.”

“I did say that, once.”

“And?”

“And you are married and deeply in love with a man who thinks you hung the moon. I respect you, love you as a friend, and would never overstep my bounds.”

“I see.” Eggsy gulps down the second drink, the burn in his throat a little dimmer. 

“What else did Merlin say?”

A tear slides down Eggsy’s cheek, no matter how hard he tries to fight it. “I’m a cheap gutter slut who will offer my arse ta anyone. Since you care about me, and I was so eager ta work with ya on the Russian stuff, I’m obviously lettin’ ya fuck me. I’m no good, I’m a penny from the dirt who was shined up but is still dirt. I can’t do anythin’, I can’t offer anythin’ ta anyone, an’ I’m lucky if I can find someone ta want my used little arse.”

“Jesus, Eggsy.” Alan slides down the sofa and sits next to him. “What exactly happened?”

“Merlin met me outside tha house. Wanted ta help Harry tell me that we was gettin’ divorced cuz he was gonna be with Merlin now.”

“Oh my God.” Alan actually closes his eyes for a moment. “I’m so sorry, Eggsy. We knew he thought he had feelings for Harry…didn’t see it going this far at all.”

“He kicked my dog,” Eggsy says faintly. “Pulled a blade on me. Said he could clean up tha blood.”

“What did Harry do?”

“Was in shock, I think. Just sat there…then when tha knife came out he kissed him an’ took him upstairs ta probably fuck him quiet.”

Alan made a kind of strangled sound. Eggsy looked at him. “You know he only did it because he thought it was the right thing to do. Wanted to get the threat away from you as quickly as possible.”

“Everythin’ Merlin said is everythin’ I’ve been tellin’ myself since tha first time I kissed Harry, Alan. I know I’m not good enough fer him. Know I’m just a stupid piece of gutter trash, not fit to wipe his shoes unless I’m lickin’ ‘em clean. Harry had me believin’ that I was more.”

“You ARE more, Eggsy.”

“But…Merlin said it. Merlin…Merlin who gave me extra time in trainin’ ta come see ‘arry when he were in tha coma. Merlin…who said…who said in our wedding ceremony that I brought Harry ta life again, pretty much.” Eggsy can’t choke back a sob. “Merlin…who told me to take care of Harry an’ not break his heart.”

“Eggsy.” Alan finally pulls Eggsy against his chest, wrapping his arms around him. Eggsy decides to hell with saving face and sobs on his chest. 

Alan says nothing, just strokes Eggsy’s hair and one time kisses the top of his head. “Can tell ya care ‘bout me,” Eggsy finally says into his shirt.

“And how is that?”

“If ya didn’t, ya woulda been makin’ a move on me in my time of weakness.”

Eggsy feels Alan chuckle a bit. “And who says I’m not still planning on making that move.”

“Wanker.” Eggsy pulls back and wipes at his eyes. “Thank ya, Alan. I mean it. I…I didn’t know where else ta go. Don’t have any money on me, didn’t feel like callin’ a cab back ta HQ.”

“Anytime. Although when I became your go-to person when you need someplace to fall apart, I’ll never know.” 

“One of yer many talents, I guess.” Eggsy gives him a small smile and feels like his face might crack.

“It will work out, Eggsy.” Alan hugs him close again. “I promise you. Harry loves you so very much.”

“Loved me so much he decided ta fuck his friend?”

“Fuck his friend who was obviously not in a healthy state of mind…to protect his husband.”

“Said we couldn’t dart him or nothin’ cuz we don’t know how it would mix with the junk inside of ‘im.”

“He was probably right.” Alan heaves a dramatic sigh. “Harry usually is.”

“The fucker.”

Alan laughs. “I know you probably feel horrible right now, but when’s the last time you ate a real meal?”

Eggsy thinks. “Last night, I think. Was too excited about comin’ home ta eat today. Fuck, if I’d have known…”

“You should try and eat something. Perhaps some toast and jam?”

“I’ll try.” He jumps as he hears a phone ring. “Left everything upstairs. I don’t want to answer that. I know who it is.”

“Eggsy…”

“Not now, Alan.”

“I absolutely was not going to tell you to speak to your idiotic husband who left you emotionally shattered to go have sex with his best friend who was possessed by a psychotropic love drug.”

Eggsy actually laughs out loud at that. “Good.”

“I was simply going to ask if you wanted tea with your toast, or if you wanted to continue with that.” He motions to the bottle on the table.

“Tea would be better, I think.”

He follows Alan to the kitchen and sits at the small table. Alan quickly makes him two slices of toast and hands him the jar of jam. A cup of tea and the sugar bowl are placed in front of him before Alan sits as well. “You know, you look very good in my clothes.”

Eggsy slowly chews his toast and waits. “Oh, come on. There is NO way you’re not gonna say it.”

“What?” Alan’s face is a mask of innocence. Eggsy snorts and Alan sighs. “Fine, yes, I desperately want to punctuate that with “and you’d look even better out of them.” There. Happy?”

“Insanely,” Eggsy answers, and it would be true if his heart wasn’t hurting so badly.

Alan’s phone rings and he checks the caller ID. His beautiful yellow-green eyes focus on Eggsy. “I should let him know you’re all right.”

“Fine,” Eggsy sighs. “But I don’t feel like talkin’ to ‘im.”

“Understood.” Alan answers the phone. “Hello, Harry. Yes, I know. I’ve heard from him. He’s here, actually.” Alan winces. “Yes, he told me. Oh. I see. I believe that was wise. I’m glad he was able to be that clear-headed. I’ll let him know. No…I don’t think he’ll be coming home tonight. He’ll see you at HQ tomorrow?” Alan looks the question at Eggsy, who nods. “Yes. Well, he’s asleep right now. I know, Harry. I’m sorry this all happened. I’ll take care of your boy for you, I promise.”

“Well?” Eggsy says when he hangs up. “How’d it go? He all fucked out an’ happy?”

“He wanted me to make sure and let you know nothing happened between them,” Alan says. “Merlin stopped it.”

“MERLIN stopped it?”

“Something brought him around and he initiated the Sword in the Stone.” Eggsy stares at him blankly. “You don’t know about that? It’s something Merlin created when he became, well, Merlin. He felt that he was just as easily compromised as any agent in the field, and that was a very bad thing because of everything he can do. He can tear down computer firewalls, plant viruses in the software. He could find any agent at any time and leak their whereabouts. So he created a protocol that could lock him down and basically cage him and his abilities. Only Arthur can put it into motion, and when Merlin came around, as it were, he ordered Harry to do it immediately. A cab came and took him back to HQ and he’s currently under lock and key in his suite until James can come up with something or we can find those scientists.”

“Jesus.”

“Harry said to tell you he’s sorry and he loves you,” Alan says softly. “He also said that Merlin’s last words before he left were “Tell Eggsy I’m sorry.””

“Hmm.” Eggsy says nothing else, just finishes his food. The toast and tea grumble in his stomach a little, but he knows he needs some sort of nourishment. He looks at Alan.

“What?”

“Did I interrupt anythin’? Jesus, Alan, this is tha second time I’ve showed up on yer doorstep unannounced. M’sorry…never even asked.”

“Like I said, it’s now apparently part of my job description. No, my boy, you haven’t…”

“Please don’t call me that,” Eggsy interrupts. He turns red. “Sorry. Never mind. It’s just…”

“You’re Harry’s boy,” Alan finishes for him. “Of course. I won’t do it again. I don’t do too much socially when I’m home…basically because I’m rarely home. You weren’t interrupting anything. Do you want to go to bed? I can prepare the extra bedroom for you, won’t take a second.”

“M’tired, but…I don’t know that I want ta go ta bed just yet. Too many thoughts.”

“Yes. Well, I’ll prepare the bedroom anyway, and we can just watch television or something. I’m sure there’s a footie game on somewhere, even if it’s a replay.”

“That sounds nice, thanks.”

Eggsy finds his way back to where Alan has the television and curls up on the sofa to wait. Alan returns rather quickly and sits at one end. Eggsy looks at him. “Alan, could…would it be a problem…”

“Come here, you idiot.” Alan grabs a small pillow and puts it on his lap. “You owe me. I may take pictures of you.”

“I wouldn’t put it past you.” Eggsy snuggles up with his head on the pillow, Alan draping his arm over Eggsy’s body. He pats Eggsy’s chest, a soothing motion.

“I feel you should know that Harry really did want to tell you. He was quite adamant…James and I talked him out of it. I’m sorry. We felt it would only be a distraction for you on your mission.”

“I understand.”

Alan changes channels until he does indeed find a football game. “I knew the moment I met you that you had Harry’s heart, you realize. He’d gone on and on about you, which I mentioned that day. But you came in that room and something about his entire demeanor changed. He stood up straighter, and there was just this whole…attitude adjustment. And that has never dimmed one bit since that day.”

“Thank you, Alan.” Eggsy reaches up to squeeze the hand on his chest.


	13. Chapter 13

THIRTEEN

“Eggsy. Eggsy, stop. Stop,” Harry murmurs, pulling himself to wakefulness. He knew Eggsy liked licking him, but really? His fingers? “Oh, Miss Eliza.” He’s fully awake now. He’s not in bed with Eggsy licking his fingers. He’s on the sofa in the television room, head at an awkward angle, dog on his lap. “I suppose you are in need of the backyard.” He puts her down and slowly stretches, groaning at the sore spot in his neck. “I am too old to fall asleep on a sofa.”

Harry looks at the clock. 5:00. He’d been asleep for exactly one hour, forty-five minutes. After his telephone conversation with Alan, Harry had wrapped the lasagna, put it in the refrigerator, and curled up with Eggsy’s dog on the sofa. It wasn’t like he’d be able to sleep anyway. He’s shocked he’d managed one hour and forty-five minutes.

After he’d hung up with Alan, Harry had stood in the kitchen and stared at a wall for a long time. He was glad Eggsy had found somewhere safe to go; he was sure that home wasn’t feeling too safe for him at that moment. He’d desperately wanted to hear his boy’s voice, to tell him he was sorry, that he loved him. Alan had said Eggsy was sleeping, but Harry wasn’t too sure he believed him. Once he’d received the alert that Merlin was safely back at HQ, he’d poured himself a stiff drink and settled in on the sofa.

Eliza stands at the back door, eagerly spinning in circles. “I’m sorry, my dear. Your Da is not as aware as your Daddy first thing in the morning.” He pulls on an old jacket and lets her into the yard. After she does her business, he feeds and waters her and starts his tea. “I wonder how early is too early to call someone,” he asks her. Technically, as Arthur, he can call any knight he wants at any hour of any day and he desperately wants to call Alan and check on Eggsy. But he’s not going to start pulling rank now. He prepares his tea and goes for his computer, trying to ignore how empty his house is without him.

There’s a lengthy email from James, confirming that Merlin had safely arrived at Kingsman HQ – which Harry already knew, of course – and was currently in his suite. He asked that Arthur call him as soon as he arrived in the office so they could discuss things. He was replying when Eliza came trotting into the room, whimpering at his feet.

“I know, my dear.” He picks her up and cuddles her close. “I miss him, too.”

 

“Six am. Your fucking husband is calling me at six bloody am.”

Eggsy yawns and stretches. “Sorry?”

“Move a second.” Eggsy feels Alan reach. “Okay. Settle.” Alan growls a bit. “Hello, Harry.” Eggsy slowly sits up and looks at Alan. “About time. I couldn’t feel my legs.”

“You make a good pillow,” Eggsy retorts, although he knows it couldn’t have been comfortable for Alan to sleep sitting up all night. Eggsy had last checked the clock at three. He vaguely remembered Alan mentioning something about a guest room, but he was so exhausted he just couldn’t move. 

“You owe me.” Alan makes a face at him and Eggsy kicks him. “I’m sorry, Harry. You were saying? You want both of us in the office? Yes, of course. We can be there in…ninety minutes, I would think.” Eggsy nods and stretches. “Yes. See you then.” Alan hangs up and looks at him. “He sounded horrible. He probably hasn’t slept a wink.”

“I didn’t sleep that well m’self,” Eggsy admits. Everything feels out of sorts, as if a truck had run him over in the night. 

“I wouldn’t know that by your snoring.”

“Oi, I do not fuckin’ snore.”

“Harry thinks the sun shines out of your pretty arse, Eggsy. There’s no way he’d tell you if you snored.”

“Don’t snore,” Eggsy growled. 

“Go ahead up and shower, why don’t you? I’ll make us some breakfast.”

“No. You go shower.” Eggsy gives him a gentle shove. “I’ll make breakfast. Least I can do for you.”

“Oh, I can think of a lot you can do for me,” Alan says with a slow grin. “But breakfast is a good start.”

“And the spell is broken,” Eggsy says with a sigh. “Knew ya couldn’t stay away fer long.”

“And would you want me any other way?” Alan asks. Eggsy smiles and shakes his head. “Thought not.” 

Eggsy looks at him for a long moment. “Thank you, Alan. For everything. I mean it. I never thought when I met ya that you’d become one of my best mates.” He briefly caresses Alan’s handsome face before standing on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. “Mean that.”

“Well, I think that has something to do with you, Eggsy, because most people don’t even want to consider me a mate at all, not to mention a best mate. I appreciate the honor.” Alan ducks his head. “I’ll leave you to breakfast, then.”

 

Harry frowns as he hangs up from his call to Alan. He continues to frown as he showers, dresses, and gets Eliza back into her crate. From what he’d heard, Eggsy had not only stayed the night at Alan’s, but pretty much slept on top of him. He trusts Eggsy. He doesn’t trust Alan, of course, but he trusts Eggsy. Eggsy would have turned to Alan for emotional comfort and nothing more. At least that’s what he hoped. He hadn’t been the most supportive husband the night before, and he knows he has a lot to make up for.

When he arrives at HQ he’s surprised to see Merlin’s employee Penelope waiting outside his door. “I hope you don’t mind, sir.”

“Of course, not, Penelope. Have you been here long?”

“I came in last night, sir, after Ector called me.”

“Yes. Please come in. I’ll make tea. Excuse me if I’m not quite prepared yet. I’m not a morning person.”

“I understand, Arthur, sir.”

“Have a seat.” He motions to a chair and she sits. “Milk and sugar?”

“Just milk, please, sir.” 

“You can start whenever you’re ready. I can do two things at once, and I know you probably have a lot to do.”

“The Sword in the Stone protocol is firmly in place, sir. Merlin…Merlin is secure in his suite and the only way he can get out is if someone on the list opens the door.”

“The list?”

She checks her clipboard. “Myself, you, Ector, anyone from Medical. Anyone else?”

Harry thinks for a moment. “Percival.”

“Yes, sir.” She taps at the clipboard. “His access to all things Kingsman is severely limited. Basically he can use his cellphone, which will notify us immediately if he places a call. He can watch television and access very safe websites. If he tries to do anything other than view a website, such as hacking or the like, we will be notified. Cameras and microphones are live in the suite.”

“Very good,” Harry says sadly. “Thank you, Penelope. Merlin did a wonderful job choosing you.”

“He does a wonderful job all the time, sir.” She nods her head respectfully and leaves.

 

“I cannot believe you didn’t put your suit back on. You look horrible.” Alan stares at Eggsy as the fitting room lift slowly brings them down to the train. “It’s not even the fact that my track pants are at least two sizes too long for you, you idiot. But your brogues?”

“We know your shoes wouldn’t fit me, an’ my suit is a wrinkled mess,” Eggsy points out. “We’ll have our meetin’ an’ I can get other clothes at HQ. Not my first priority today.” His stomach is churning. He desperately wants to see Harry while at the same time feeling completely terrified to see Harry.

“I suppose not.” Alan sighs. “You do realize this completely looks like you’re doing the walk of shame?”

“Don’t give a fuck.”

“At any other time, in any other situation, I would LOVE for people to think that you were coming directly to HQ from my bed. I can’t even enjoy this, damn you.”

“Aw, poor Alan.” Eggsy reaches up to pat him on the head.

“Don’t touch my hair.”

“An’ you call ‘arry a peacock,” Eggsy snorts. He tilts his head and looks at Alan. “Ya had ‘arry an’ let him go. I will never understand that.”

“I fucked Harry and let him go. There’s a difference.” Alan gives Eggsy a small smile. “Don’t you think it was for the best? If I was with Harry, you wouldn’t be.”

“You hurt him.”

“I’ve apologized. Consider my kindness to you part of the penance I’m paying.”

“Not because ya think I’m adorable an’ ya want ta put me in yer pocket?” Eggsy asks with a grin.

“And guess which pocket I’d put you in?” Alan says, patting his right trouser pocket. 

“Wanker.”

 

Harry stands up a bit straighter as he hears voices approach his door. He straightens his tie, tugs at his cufflinks. “I don’t see why yer limpin’,” he hears Eggsy say. “Ya weren’t limpin’ a minute ago.”

“Did you sleep sitting up on a sofa? I don’t think so.”

“Ya coulda rolled me off yer lap onto tha floor, ya drama queen. Jesus.” The door opens as Eggsy talks. “Ya act like yer ninety instead of sixty.”

“I am NOT sixty years old!” Alan gasps in mock horror. “Shut your Millennial mouth.”

Harry’s eyes are glued to Eggsy. His face is pale, dark shadows under his eyes. For all they’ve said about sleeping, he doesn’t look like he slept very well. His eyes widen when he truly notices what Eggsy’s wearing. Alan’s clothes. The pants are too long in the leg, and the shirt comes halfway down Eggsy’s thighs. Eggsy is wearing Alan’s clothes.

Eggsy stares at Harry. “Mornin’, Arthur.” His eyes wander over Harry and don’t seem to like what they see. Harry actually blushes under the inspection, walking around his desk.

“Tristan. Percival.”

“Please tell me there’s tea, Harry. Or perhaps whiskey? I don’t see how you deal with this one first thing in the morning.” Alan gives Eggsy a bit of a shove as he heads for the table.

“Oi, fuck off. Yer no ray of sunshine, either.” Eggsy smiles a bit as he looks at Alan. He turns to look at Harry and the smile fades. Harry quickly goes to the table, makes Eggsy’s tea the way he likes it, and silently hands him the cup. “Thank ya.” Eggsy sits down on the small chaise in the corner of the office and Alan sits next to him. Harry’s heart hurts.

“Ector should be along momentarily. I believe we’ll wait to start until he arrives. I will say that I’ve spoken with Penelope this morning, and things seem to be going well.” Eggsy snorts but says nothing.

“Have we heard anything about the scientists?” Alan asks finally.

“Yes,” Harry says, relieved to have something to talk about. “We think we’ll have a location in the next day or two.”

“Remember what I said. I’m going after them,” Alan says quietly.

Harry looks at him, sees the determination in his eyes. “Yes. I think you are the best choice.”

“I’ll do whatever it takes,” Alan promises.

“Oh, hello, everyone.” James hurries into the office. “So sorry. Stopped to talk to Penelope.”

“She briefed me earlier,” Harry says. “Please have some tea, James.”

“Oh fuck the tea!” Eggsy almost shouts. The others stare at him. “Before we start all this, I need ta know one thing. If there was a way ta stop him, start this Sword in tha Stone thing, why the FUCK didn’t ya do it?”

“Eggsy, we didn’t think it would get this serious. He wasn’t doing anything more than flirting, really. Isn’t that correct, Harry?” James looked at Harry. 

“Yes.” Harry sighs wearily. “It started with little things, and then he started advising me on what he thought was right for me. It wasn’t until shortly before you came home, Eggsy, that he admitted to actual feelings towards me.”

“That protocol is for extreme situations, Eggsy,” Alan says. “This didn’t seem that extreme. We felt we needed Merlin in the Tech and Ops departments more than we needed him locked away in his suite.”

Harry takes a deep breath. “If we could just please focus on the current situation with Merlin? Tristan, you and I can discuss the other matters once we’re done here.”

Eggsy studies him for a moment. “Yes, sir, that would be fine.”

“Ector?” Harry reverts to his Arthur persona, hoping it will help him to keep it together. This is probably the worst he’s felt in his entire life. Eggsy looks completely broken. He’s slouched on the sofa, arms crossed over his chest. He’s almost leaning on Alan, which makes Harry feel sick. He should be leaning on Harry for support. NOT Alan.

“I’ve looked back through all of Merlin’s vitals, taken into account the times you and Alan were able to give me specifics, Harry. There was really nothing that would have given us cause for concern. Everyone’s blood pressure and heartbeat occasionally spike. The only time I truly saw any serious change was after Eggsy’s return.”

“So it’s my fault then. Brilliant.” Eggsy kicks at the carpet with his ridiculous shoe. Harry’s heart goes out to him. He wants nothing more than to gather Eggsy in his arms, kiss the pain away, but it seems that the last thing Eggsy wants is anything to do with Harry.

“No, Eggsy, it isn’t. Anyone he saw as a threat to his possible relationship with Harry upset him,” James informs him. “He called you Mr. Unwin and I corrected him by saying Mr. Unwin-Hart. He snapped at me.”

“I got into Harry’s personal space when I knew Merlin was watching and he shoved me. Think of it as an animal protecting his mate.” Alan winks at Harry. “Such a prize, Harry.”

“Fuck off, Alan,” Eggsy says in almost a bored tone.

“We have him sedated. He’s doing fairly well now.” James looks down at his computer. “I’m hoping that…”

“Wait a minute.” Eggsy sits up straight. “Ya told me ya couldn’t tranq him!” He points at Harry accusingly. “Ya said it could hurt ‘im an’ that’s why ya didn’t do it!”

“Harry was correct,” James says immediately. “You know how strong our tranquilizer darts are. This is a much milder sedative, one that keeps him a bit sleepy but doesn’t knock him out completely.”

“Tristan, please believe me when I say we were all doing what we thought was best at the time,” Harry says. “We are all walking through uncharted territory here. I’m sure every one of us can look back at all of this and wish we’d behaved differently.” Harry holds Eggsy’s gaze until he looks away. “How is he acting?” Harry asks.

“The best way to describe it is in and out. He’s fighting it, like he has been since the beginning. He…he asks for you, Harry, and then he goes quiet.” James shakes his head. “I hate seeing him like this.”

“An’ ya said he was tha one that stopped everythin’? Came to his senses, did he?” Eggsy snaps at Harry. “Decided all of a sudden he didn’t want ya?”

“You know what, James, I think you and I should continue this talk down in the lab.” Alan swiftly stands. “We have nothing to add here. Arthur, I will be down in Ops. If we hear anything about the scientists, I will let you know.” He gives Eggsy a sympathetic glance and leaves the room.

“I will do the same regarding Merlin’s status, Harry.” James follows Alan out the door. Harry pushes the button to close and lock the door. 

Eggsy refuses to look at him for a moment, biting his bottom lip and studying his knees. When he finally looks up, his blue eyes are sad. “Tell me what happened.”

“I…”

“TELL me.”

“Which part?”

“ALL of it.”

Harry removes his jacket, hangs it up, and sits behind his desk. He plays with a pen for a moment. “It started like I said, with the flirting. He’d say things, compliment me, move into my personal space. That wasn’t a big deal. I frankly didn’t even notice.”

“Of course not. Because everyone flirts with the incredible Harry Hart.”

Harry ignores him. “But then I did notice how he treated you. He would make sure to carefully move you out of the way. He’d get between us. He would compliment you while at the same time putting you down. He insulted you enough to get you to start behaving differently around him, and he’s NEVER been like that.”

“So, I’m freezin’ my arse off in Russia an’ you two are playin’ cat an’ mouse? Don’t sound that bad.”

Harry’s suddenly furious. He’s full of guilt, he’s worried about his best friend, and his husband seems to be slipping away from him right in front of his eyes. He gets up and starts pacing the room. “Doesn’t sound that bad? How about the fact that we realized he’d probably sent you away on purpose? He KNEW you’d be gone for a while so he could make his move. And when we figured THAT out, we finally saw that it was something more than friendly banter and friendly flirting. I couldn’t call you back, because I had no reason to. And you were gone on a mission that wasn’t exactly dangerous, but that can all change pretty quickly, can’t it?”

“I…’arry…”

“He invited me to dinner. I went. And he starts telling me how he’s worried about me, that he feels my husband, my wonderful husband, is the completely worst thing that could have ever happened to me. He tells me my husband is young and foolish and will obviously tire of me, so I should get out while I can. He says that it’s just hero worship disguised as romantic love, and I’ll only end up hurt. And I can’t believe what I’m fucking hearing, because this is all coming from the man who not only stood with me at the civil ceremony, but told all of Kingsman how perfect we were for each other.” Tears fill Harry’s eyes and he angrily wipes them away. “And part of me is listening in disbelief, but part of me is thinking he’s right, because these are secret fears I’ve had since the day you accepted my proposal.”

“What? Harry!” Eggsy jumps to his feet but Harry puts his hand out.

“No. You wanted to hear it, you’re hearing it. He started saying other things, and I realize he’s watching me. At the house. When I go out. He knows where I’ve been, what I’m doing. And normally I don’t care that Merlin’s got his eyes on me, because I feel safer when he does. But for the first time in my life, I don’t feel safe around my best friend.” Eggsy slowly approaches him, not touching him. “So then I’m torn, because how do I go about fixing it? I can’t. He hasn’t said he cares for me, not really, but things have changed. And the one person who has always comforted me, always helped me work through things is my best friend. And he’s scaring the living hell out of me so I can’t go to him. He’s also one of the best employees I have, so I have to think as Arthur. Is he hurting other agents? Is he hurting you and Gareth by keeping you in the field?”

“You should have told me,” Eggsy says in a strangled tone.

“And what could you have done? Nothing. You couldn’t help, not in Russia. Perhaps you would have only made things worse.” Harry wipes at his eyes. “And I haven’t even gotten to the best part. He tells me we’re going on holiday together. And when I say, no, I’m married, he tells me that he will take care of that soon enough, that he’s researched the best way to file for divorce. He loves me, he’s perfect for me. He feels sorry for you, but we’ll make it easy on you and find you a place to live.” Harry’s lips tremble. “So sitting in front of me is my best friend, telling me he’s going to ruin my life, take away the one thing that makes it worth living, because he LOVES me.” He leans against a wall and closes his eyes. “And when I tell him that I love YOU, that you’re what I want, he tells me it’s what I want for NOW. Because he’s going to fix it.” He laughs quietly. “Guess you were right, Eggsy. It “wasn’t that bad,” was it?”

“Luv,” Eggsy says quietly, and suddenly he’s standing right in front of Harry. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t here, I’m sorry I reacted the way I did. Ya just…ya sat an’ watched him say those things, an’ then ya kissed him. Ya took him upstairs.”

“Nothing happened upstairs, I promise you,” Harry says without opening his eyes. “We kissed, and removed our shirts. That was it. I talked him into just laying down and resting with me. I was hoping it would be enough to settle him. And then he saw my wedding ring, and it was like it flipped a switch in him.”

“I believe you,” Eggsy whispers. “I just…as much as I always talked about him in bed an’ everythin’…you bein’ with him…it felt like you picked him over me.”

“I should have protected you and I didn’t,” Harry says without opening his eyes. “I’m sorry. I just…I was so tired, so emotionally drained. That’s really no excuse, but I felt like it was some sort of nightmare. And then when I finally got it together, when that knife came out, all I could think about was getting him as far away from you as possible. I should have chosen my husband over my best friend. I should have punched him or done something else. I’m sorry.”

“Hey.” Eggsy’s hand is on Harry’s cheek and he opens his eyes. “Ya don’t hafta protect me. Husband not delicate flower here.” He smiles a bit. “Wasn’t exactly in there protectin’ m’self, now, was I? Think we both heard a lot we didn’t expect ta hear last night.” Harry turns his head and gently kisses Eggsy’s palm. Eggsy slowly wraps his arms around Harry’s waist and presses his head to Harry’s chest. Harry buries his face in Eggsy’s hair. “Ya weren’t tha only one hearin’ things he’d had nightmares about, ‘arry. I always feel like yer gonna wake up someday an’ realize I’m not good enough fer ya. That ya look at me an’ say, oh, that gutter slag is what I signed on with fer the rest of my life? How stupid am I?”

Harry pulls away, putting his hands on either side of Eggsy’s head. “No. I will never EVER think that. Ever. My darling boy, you are ten times the person I am. You are caring and loving and intelligent and you have such an amazing heart. You cannot take seriously anything Merlin said to you last night. You have to remember what he said at our ceremony, when he told everyone there how perfect you are for me, what good things you’ve brought to my life.” He looks down into the green eyes, which are now swimming with tears.

“Well, then, YOU need ta do tha same thing, luv. What I feel for ya is NOT hero worship. Yer so fuckin’ flawed if I worshipped ya, I’d be mental.” Eggsy giggles a bit and a few tears fall. “I love you in spite of all those flaws, an’ because of all those flaws. So none of that, all right?”

Harry pulls him back into his embrace. “Last night will not be forgotten quickly, but…just know that I love you, Eggsy Hart. So very much. And I’ll apologize one last time for not doing something sooner about Merlin.”

“He’s yer best friend, ‘arry. You are so fuckin’ loyal…ya only want ta see the best in those ya love, an’ ya don’t love many people. Please don’t apologize again, all right?” Harry nods. “Now kiss me, ya idiot. Been home all this time an’ only kissed ya once at tha door last night.” 

“With pleasure.” Harry keeps Eggsy’s head in his hands as his kisses him, letting this thumbs trail along Eggsy’s earlobes. Eggsy sighs against him, holding him tight. Suddenly Harry thinks of something and gently pushes him away. “I almost forgot.” He goes to his suit jacket and gets something from a pocket. He falls to one knee in front of Eggsy. “Eggsy Unwin-Hart, will you marry me?” He holds out Eggsy’s wedding ring.

“Fuck, Haz, every day for the rest of my life.” Harry slides the ring on and they’re kissing again.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Big giant huge thanks to nightblackbird for letting me bounce ideas with you for this chapter.
> 
> They work off some steam when they get home. :)

FOURTEEN

Harry slides his hands over Eggsy’s shoulders. He gently plucks at the fabric of Alan’s shirt. “I can go change,” Eggsy says. “Ya would’ve had a stroke if you saw the state of my suit after traveling all day yesterday. Alan was nice enough ta loan me clothes.”

“I see.” Harry tugs at the waistband of the track pants a bit.

“Ya know there’s nothin’ between me an’ Alan, right? I didn’t even know I was goin’ to ‘im until I showed up on his doorstep.” Eggsy shrugs and blushes a little. “He feels…safe.”

“You are probably the first young man who has EVER said that about Alan,” Harry says.

“Probably.” Eggsy kisses him again. He knows how it must make Harry feel, seeing Eggsy in Alan’s clothes. “I’ll go change.”

“No. It’s fine. I mean it. I should look into a few things. Give me about an hour and then we’ll go home. I think they can do without Arthur for a day.”

“Home,” Eggsy says, and the word is almost a prayer. “That sounds fuckin’ ACES, ‘arry.”

“I mean it about the clothes, Eggsy. It’s fine. If we’re going home in an hour, it’s silly for you to change.” Harry pulls him into his arms again. “Plus I think I want you close to me.”

“I think I like being close to you.” Eggsy inhales the scent that always means Harry. “I’ll just sit over there on tha sofa.”

“Sounds good.” Harry kisses him one more time and Eggsy sighs. He’s not quite happy, not quite back to normal, but he feels like he’s well on his way.

“Save tha world fer an hour…but then yer mine.” Eggsy pulls him by the tie and steals one more kiss.

 

Harry straightens his tie and smiles down into Eggsy’s beautiful eyes. “One hour,” he agrees. “Before you sit down…”

“Yeah, yeah, cuppa.” Eggsy sticks his tongue out and goes to make tea.

Harry sighs as he sits down behind his desk, half the weight falling off his shoulders. The entire thing won’t be gone until Merlin’s back to normal, but this is a very good start. He plans on doing exactly sixty minutes of work and then he’s taking his boy home, cleaning him up a bit, and snuggling in bed with him for a day of pampering and loving.

A cup is placed in front of him and he turns up his face. “Thank you, darling boy.”

“Yer welcome, darling husband.” Eggsy gives him a kiss and heads for the sofa. 

Harry takes a sip of the tea. “Too much sugar.” Eggsy flips him off on his way to the sofa and Harry chuckles. He logs onto the Kingsman network, keeping one eye on Eggsy. Eggsy plays on his phone for ten minutes before curling up on the sofa. In another five minutes he’s asleep. Harry sighs, smiling fondly. He covers Eggsy with his suit coat and goes back to his computer. He messages Alan and his face soon pops up on the screen.

“Eggsy’s asleep?”

“Yes, how did you know?”

“I TOLD him he snores. He didn’t want to believe me.”

“He only snores when he’s truly exhausted,” Harry says. He thinks it’s adorable, actually. “I just…I wanted to say thank you for taking care of him last night, Alan.”

“He’s a grown man, Harry. He doesn’t need taken care of. But you’re welcome. And I hope you know nothing happened. I wouldn’t think of even trying something.”

“You’d think about it, but you wouldn’t do it,” Harry corrects.

Alan laughs. “Not until you two ask me for it.” Harry snorts. “Nothing yet on the scientists, but there’s a rumor about something in Greece or Turkey. I’m ready to go the second you need me.”

“Thank you, Alan.” Harry terminates the call. He pauses before bringing up the video feed for Merlin’s suite. The room is mostly dark, curtains closed. One small lamp is lit on the bedside table. Merlin’s asleep in the bed, curled up in a ball. Harry’s heart aches and he wishes he could talk to him, send him a message. He has a feeling, however, that it would be one of the worst things he can do.

He goes through some mission reports and cleans up some things with Juliet for the rest of the hour. At exactly sixty-one minutes he’s logging off the computer and standing up. He stretches, yawns, and goes over to kneel by the sofa. Eggsy’s hands are fisted under his chin and he’s sighing a bit in his sleep. His skin looks soft and delicious and Harry’s suddenly hit by the urge to lick the tender expanse of his neck. He’s tempted, but realizes that he just wants them to go home. “Darling,” Harry whispers, peeling back his suit jacket. “Time to go home.” He ghosts a finger over Eggsy’s cheek. Eggsy mumbles. He trails his fingernail down the edge of Eggsy’s ear.

“Harry…” Eggsy moans. “Evil bastard.”

“Come on, my boy. Let’s go home.”

“Home,” Eggsy sighs. He stretches and sits up. “Didn’t mean ta fall asleep.”

“It’s all right. We had quite the night last night.” He helps Eggsy to his feet. “Juliet, Alan and James are aware I’m going home. Unless they find the scientists or World War III starts, they have strict orders not to disturb us.”

“Sounds wonderful.” He bends down to put on his shoes.

Harry resists the urge to hold Eggsy’s hand as they head for the train. They try to keep PDA to a minimum at the office, although no one would ever say anything. He does put a hand on the small of Eggsy’s back as they wait for the train, and once they’re seated across from each other he places his foot next to Eggsy’s. “Interesting choice of footwear.”

“Shut it,” Eggsy snaps, winking before he puts his head back and closes his eyes. 

“Don’t fall asleep. You’ll regret it…it’s a short ride.” Harry taps Eggsy’s foot with his own. His eyes wander up from Eggsy’s ridiculous shoes to the baggy legs of the track pants. Eggsy has a bit of stubble on his face and Harry wants to stroke it with his fingertips. Suddenly everything about Eggsy looks delicious except for Alan’s clothes. The clothes need to go. Eggsy is HIS. Harry starts to fidget a bit.

 

Eggsy forces himself to open his eyes because he knows Harry’s right. He’ll barely drift off to sleep and it will be time to get off the train. And Eggsy really doesn’t want to waste time sleeping when he could be spending it awake with Harry. Harry, who he hasn’t seen in weeks. Harry, who is sitting on the train and twiddling his thumbs. Harry is always perfectly still when movement is not necessary, and the action surprises Eggsy. His eyes are drawn to those hands, the hands he lusted after from the moment he realized how entirely fit Harry was. Harry notices his gaze, Eggsy knows he does, because he starts gently moving his hands over each other almost absently. Eggsy licks his lips and realizes Harry is staring at his mouth. He licks them again, catching his bottom lip between his teeth. He slowly drags the soft lip away from the teeth, and he sees Harry swallow. Suddenly the train ride seems very long, and they still have a cab ride to the house. 

Once they’re in the cab it gets worse. He feels like he’s surrounded by Harry’s cologne, and it takes everything he has not to climb onto his lap and snog him senseless. Eggsy knows that his heightened senses are fueled by a lack of sleep and emotional drop after a quite eventful evening. But deep down it’s pushed by the fact that he hasn’t had his hands on Harry for over a fortnight and he wants him. He wants to claim him again, remind him that he belongs to Eggsy and no one else. And maybe a little bit of that is to remind himself that no matter what, Eggsy owns his heart.

They slowly make it into the house and are greeted by a loud barking. “There’s my girl,” Eggsy says with a tired smile.

Harry looks equally exhausted. “Da is a poor substitute for her Daddy.”

“I doubt that,” Eggsy says but he almost runs to the kitchen. “There’s my girl. Yes…there she is.” He allows her to bathe his face with kisses before he puts her down. “You did see me last night, Eliza.”

“Like she cares,” Harry says with a laugh.

“Let’s go take care of things, girl.” Eggsy leads the way into the yard.

He feels like he could fall asleep standing up but manages to keep an eye on her and make sure she takes care of her business. Once they’re back in the house she goes yipping out of the kitchen. Harry’s standing by the refrigerator. “I made lasagna last night,” he says softly. “We never got to, uh, eat it. I have it wrapped, though, if you want some.”

Eggsy’s heart swells of the thought of Harry cooking for him, and then a bit of a stab breaks through the joy as he remembers exactly why they didn’t get to eat it. Harry still looks guilty and obviously tired, and Eggsy knows he should just tumble him right into bed for a nap. That thought is overridden by a wave of possessiveness. He quickly walks over to Harry and grabs him by the jacket. “Not hungry,” he manages before he kisses him.

Harry falls back against the refrigerator as Eggsy lets all his weight press against him. Eggsy moans as Harry ferociously kisses him back, actually biting his lip and sucking on it. Harry starts walking them towards the table, hands clutching at Eggsy’s arse as he moves him backwards. Eggsy hits the table and stops with a grunt. Harry kisses and bites down on Eggsy’s neck, tongue flicking up to his ear. Eggsy hisses, hands fisting in Harry’s hair. “Fuck,” Eggsy whispers. One of his legs moves up to wrap around Harry so he can thrust against him. He feels Harry’s hard cock pressing through his trousers and he moans again. He actually bites through Harry’s shirt and Harry gasps.

“Shoes off,” Harry mutters and Eggsy quickly toes them away. His large hands knead at Eggsy’s backside as they kiss, kisses so brutal that Eggsy’s mouth is soon sore. Eggsy gasps as Harry suddenly shoves down Eggsy’s pants and the track pants, yanking them away from Eggsy’s legs. He lifts Eggsy up and drops him onto the kitchen table. Eggsy yelps a bit as his naked arse hits the cold surface, hands yanking at Harry’s hair. 

Harry pulls back and scowls at Eggsy. His hair is a mess, his eyes are dark, lips red and swollen. Eggsy wonders what he’s mad at until Harry fists both hands in the tee and tears it down the middle. Eggsy lets out something like a squeal as Harry pulls the fabric away from Eggsy’s body. “Yes,” Harry growls. His hands slide up Eggsy’s chest, pushing him to lay down on the table. “Don’t move.” Eggsy nods obediently. Harry goes over to the drawer where they keep the lube – they learned early on that it was wise to keep supplies hidden in pretty much every room of the house. He puts the bottle on the table and just looks at Eggsy who is soon writhing under his gaze. His cock is hard and leaking but he doesn’t touch it. There’s something in Harry’s eyes that he hasn’t seen before, and he waits for Harry’s command. Harry picks up the torn shirt, pulls it apart a bit more, and ties one end to the back of the chair behind Eggsy’s head. “Arms up,” Harry says hoarsely, and Eggsy slowly raises them above his head to rest on the table. Harry binds the other end of the shirt to Eggsy’s wrists. “All right?” He asks softly, running a hand down Eggsy’s arm. Eggsy nods again. Harry goes back to stand between Eggsy’s legs, a hand trailing up and down Eggsy’s chest and stomach. He finally bends down to kiss him, long kisses that soon move down his throat to his sternum. “Mine,” Harry breathes against his skin, licking a line to his nipple. “Mine.” He bites down, sucking the nipple into his mouth. Eggsy cries out, arching into his mouth. He tugs at his bindings, frustrated that he can’t touch Harry the way he wants to. “All mine…all of you.”

“Yours,” Eggsy whispers. Harry moans, sliding his mouth to the other side. He licks the nipple a bit, then bites down hard just above it. He sucks the skin into his mouth, working it with his teeth and Eggsy almost screams. “Fuck, ‘arry, yours!”

Harry kisses his way down, finally taking Eggsy’s cock into his mouth. Eggsy sobs for breath as Harry works his hot mouth over him, letting him almost fall out before bringing him in again. He licks up, flicking his tongue over the head. “Mine,” he whispers almost reverently.

“Yes, yours, ‘arry, please make me yours,” Eggsy begs. Harry sits down in front of him, putting Eggsy’s legs over his shoulders. He lifts Eggsy’s hips, opening him for Harry’s tongue. “Oh, sweet Jesus!” Eggsy gasps, head thudding against the table. He can’t move his hands, Harry’s grip on his hips is like steel, and he cannot get away from that evil tongue. “Fuck, Haz, please, please more, please…” Harry adds a finger and Eggsy almost forgets his own name. He knows he’s babbling now and Harry has only said one word. He says it again as he kisses the inside of Eggsy’s thighs.

“Mine.” He adds a second finger, coating them with lube as they work inside of him. Eggsy can’t stay still, legs pushing down on Harry’s shoulders as he arches his back. A third finger has Eggsy almost crying.

Harry stands back up, stroking Eggsy a few more time before he finally undoes his belt and zipper. He slides his trousers and pants down just enough to free his cock. It’s red and dripping and Eggsy desperately wants to touch it. He’s forced to watch as Harry liberally coats himself with lube. Eggsy spreads his legs, not even caring that he looks like some sort of cockslut laying naked on the table while Harry is still almost completely dressed. He wants that in him and he wants it now. “Mine,” he says to Harry, looking him in the eye.

“Yours,” Harry whispers. He bends down and kisses Eggsy as he pushes himself inside with one motion.

Eggsy feels as if his eyes have rolled back into his head. It burns deliciously, a thickness filling him in a way he’d wanted but hadn’t known how badly. “YES, ‘arry.”

It’s the last thing he’s able to say as Harry fucks him harder than ever before. His hands are on Eggsy’s hips, pulling him back to meet every snap and thrust. Eggsy’s feet are digging into Harry’s backside, urging him on. Eggsy pants for breath, each shove of Harry’s cock pushing the air right out of his body. He looks at Harry’s face. His hair is curling down over his forehead and his eyes are wild as he looks down at Eggsy’s body. “My beautiful fucking boy…no one but me…you belong to me, don’t you?”

“Yes…yes, ‘arry,” Eggsy manages. 

“I belong to you,” Harry grunts, hips moving a bit more erratically. “I’m yours.”

“Yes, Haz, yer mine…give it to me make me feel it…” Eggsy begs and Harry moans. He twists a bit and suddenly he’s hitting the spot that makes Eggsy see stars. “Oh fuck, yes, ‘arry, fuck me…there, please…”

“Come for me, give me what’s mine,” Harry growls and Eggsy comes. He arches his back and comes, splattering onto his chest and stomach. He feels like he’ll never stop, not when Harry doesn’t even slow down, just keeps fucking into him until tears are actually running down Eggsy’s face. Harry’s fingers dig into Eggsy’s hips and Eggsy knows he’s coming. “God,” Harry whispers. He bends down to kiss him, still pushed deep inside. “I love you, love you so much.” He nibbles at Eggsy’s lip before tenderly biting.

“Love you, too, Haz.” Eggsy feels worn out, even though he’d done absolutely none of the work. Harry pulls out, wincing as he stands up straight. He immediately unties Eggsy’s hands, slowly lowering his arms and massaging his biceps. “M’alright,” Eggsy manages.

Harry gets a flannel and comes over to clean them both. He helps Eggsy sit up. “I…I feel like I should apologize.”

“Yes, please apologize for fuckin’ me so hard I think I blacked out. An’ please apologize for leaving me with a lovely reminder of it.” Eggsy tenderly pokes at the mark on his chest. “Christ, ‘arry, never bit me like that before.”

“You’re so tired, you’re probably hungry, and I attacked you.” Harry looks guilty. 

“I’m pretty sure I could have fought ya off if I wasn’t interested, ‘arry. You look as wrecked as me.” Eggsy kisses him. “I wanted that. I loved it. Think we both needed to blow off some steam, as it were. An’ I love when ya make me yers, no matter how ya do it.”

“I’d planned for us to take a nice bath, maybe eat before going to bed,” Harry moans.

“Harry fuckin’ Hart, if you are seriously gonna stand there an’ feel sorry fer one of tha top three fucks of my life, I will punch you. Jesus Christ. Bath now, eat after.” Eggsy frowns as he looks at the torn shirt. “Was gonna wash this an’ return it ta Alan. Guess I won’t now.”

“Return it just like that. Give him something to fantasize with,” Harry says, shocking Eggsy. “And that was in the top three? What about the other two?”

“That’s for me ta know an’…” Eggsy stops as Harry actually pouts. “Fuck that might be tha cutest thing I’ve EVER seen. Stop it. Yes, all right? Yer all of tha top three.”

“Good.” Harry looks immensely pleased.

 

Harry sighs with contentment once they’re in the tub, Eggsy settled between his legs, back on Harry’s chest. “Welcome home,” he says finally, and Eggsy starts to laugh.

“A bit belated, but thank ya anyway.” He picks up a sponge and squeezes it over Harry’s arm, watching the water slide down his skin. “Can’t wait ta eat yer lasagna. M’proud of ya fer cookin’ like that.”

“I wanted to surprise you when you came home.”

Eggsy snorted. “I was surprised all right.”

Harry puts an arm around Eggsy, loving the wet skin against his own. He kisses the side of Eggsy’s head as Eggsy lays his head back on Harry’s shoulder. “Do you know when I realized Merlin was my best friend?”

“No. Ya haven’t said much about tha time when you was recruits.”

“It was a little after that, actually. We were in our twenties, so it was the nineteen-eighties. As you know, things were not the same as they are now. Not only did people still frown on the idea of homosexual relationships, but we had HIV to worry about. A law passed when I was a little boy allowing same-sex relationships between two men, but with a lot of stipulations. And we’ll just say that the police didn’t take kindly to the idea of two men even walking together if it looked suspicious.” He kisses Eggsy again. “So when I was in school and I realized I might be having those feelings, it scared me to death. Not only was I afraid of angering my parents, I was afraid for my own safety. I hid everything while I was dying inside.”

“Oh, luv.” Eggsy takes his hand and kisses it. 

“I told you about my sister’s friend and the engagement. It was not long after that I was brought in as a recruit, and I met Merlin. Neither of us joined in the normal dorm room talk about women, and I think we both just basically looked at each other and figured it out. Merlin and I were always…connected.” Harry smiles a bit. “We were new agents, passed training. Merlin was still in the field as an agent then. We were positioned in London awaiting instructions, passing the time in a pub. I’d had a bit too much to drink and caught the eye of an attractive young man at the bar. I followed him out back and…” Harry frowns at the memory. “It was my first time doing anything, and when Merlin finally came out to find me, I was vomiting against a wall with my trousers around my ankles.”

“Holy fuck, ‘arry, what did the bloke do to ya?” Eggsy sits up and turns to look at him.

“He sucked my cock until I came in his mouth,” Harry says softly. “Merlin cleaned me up and took me back to the flat we were using. He helped me into the shower and held me in the bed while I cried. He then talked all night long until I finally accepted that I wasn’t a monster, that what I wanted wasn’t wrong.” Harry pulls Eggsy back down until he can wrap both arms around him. “How could I have EVER thought that this was wrong for me?”

“Ya didn’t know me yet,” Eggsy points out, and Harry knows he’s trying to make him smile. 

“It wasn’t the last time he’s made me feel better about myself, brought me out of my dark thoughts.” Harry idly runs his finger up and down Eggsy’s arm. 

“I hope I can do that fer ya, too,” Eggsy says quietly.

“You do, darling boy. Every day.” Harry turns Eggsy’s head until he can kiss his lips. 

“I can’t imagine what ya were goin’ through while I was gone, luv. He was the one ya always relied on, an’ ya couldn’t. An’ I wasn’t here, neither.” He shivers a bit. “Gettin’ cold. Let’s get out an’ eat, yeah?”

“Sounds wonderful.” Harry waits for Eggsy to stand and get out of the tub before he follows. Eggsy’s face is troubled as he dries off. “I hope it was all right that I told you this.”

“Of course it is. I’m glad ya told me. I just…I’m worried about him, ‘arry. Now that it’s done and we’re all safe. We can fix him, right?”

“I believe so, Eggsy. I have to believe it.” Harry welcomes the hug and kiss, holding his boy tight.


	15. Chapter 15

FIFTEEN

When Merlin steps out of the Kingsman cab in front of HQ his heart is pounding and he has a throbbing headache. “Merlin, sir.”

“Miss Evans. I didn’t know you worked this late.”

“I was on my way out the door when I heard of your arrival. I figured I would stay to greet you and escort you to your suite.”

“Thank you.” Merlin dutifully follows her through the building, doing everything he can to keep his wits about him. His brain feels a bit fogged, as if something’s trying to push against him and he has to push it back. 

“I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this, sir. We’ll do everything we can to take care of you.”

“There’s only one person I want to take care of me,” Merlin snaps. “He was taking care of me before you lot came and got me.”

“Yes, so I heard.” She steps aside so he can enter his passcode into the suite’s security system. “He’s the one who called us to come get you.”

“Harry wouldn’t do that. Harry…” Merlin groans. “Harry did what I asked. Fuck, Miss Evans, I think I am officially certifiable.”

“Due to chemical intoxication, sir. Although I’ve heard some stories and what you say might be true.” She gives him a wink. “And Arthur is truly an amazing man. I wouldn’t be surprised if we all love him a little bit.”

“Back off,” he growls.

She smiles. “I think you remember the process, sir. Call for medical if you need anything, and try to get some rest.” She holds out her hand and he takes it. She quickly grabs his wrist and injects something into his arm.

“Quick, lass.”

“Learned to have quick fingers growing up where I did. I’d get changed and into bed if I were you. Good night, Merlin.”

“Miss Evans.” Suddenly sleep sounds like a wonderful idea. He strips as he heads for his bedroom, not caring where the clothing falls. He crawls into bed, welcoming the coolness of the sheets against his skin.

 

He spends the next two days drifting in and out of wakefulness. He knows the sedative isn’t the strongest Kingsman has, but it’s enough to keep him from digging into his mind too much. He doesn’t really want to deal with his thoughts anyway. On the second day, however, he drags himself out of bed, takes a hot shower, and dresses in a comfortable jumper and jeans. He sits down in front of his computer, realizing it’s the first time in years he’s spent more than six or eight hours away from it. He sighs as he logs on, realizing his access will be very VERY limited.

He’s growling at the screen when someone lets themselves into the suite. “Merlin.”

“James. Why the fuck can’t I do anything?”

“Because you asked Harry to initiate the Sword in the Stone.”

“I’m limited to solitaire, Amazon and trivia sites. I hate Amazon. Prefer to do my shopping in an actual shop, and my staff knows it.”

“And what did you try to get into?”

“Email…my actual WORK,” Merlin says glumly.

“Who would you email, Merlin?” James sits down.

“Harry, of course. He’s wondering where I am, I’m sure.”

“He knows full well where you are, Merlin. And he’s kept an eye on you. He’s glad you’re all right.”

“Good,” Merlin heaves a sigh of relief. “Can’t I do something? Any kind of work?”

“Penelope has everything under control. You were very wise, hiring her.”

“Of course I was. I know how to do my job.” Merlin suddenly slumps back in the chair, feeling exhausted. “I’m sorry, James. Now I have a wee taste of how people with split personalities feel. I didn’t notice it before the other night, but I feel like I’ve gone ten rounds with Anthony Joshua.”

“You’re fighting it. You lost the fight for a while, but now you’re doing well,” James promises. 

“Will they ever forgive me?” Merlin asks quietly.

“You know they will. I bet they already have. Harry desperately wants to talk to you, but he knows you’re not ready.”

“Harry,” Merlin whispers, heart hurting. “Tell him…never mind.” He studies James. “Why are you here?”

“I wanted to see you. You’re my friend, too. We also figured I am probably the least threatening of all of us.”

“I don’t know about that. A bum hip doesn’t keep you from using that incredible upper cut of yours.”

“True, but I didn’t mean physically. There’s nothing about me that would make you feel possessive of Harry, and we’re trying to keep you calm.”

Merlin snorts. “Calm. Knocked out is what you’re keeping me.”

“For your own good. And we’ve already decreased the dose.”

“How…how’s Kingsman,” Merlin says finally. It’s the one thing in the world he’s always loved, since the moment he stepped onto the property as a recruit.

“Barely getting on without you,” James says with a tiny grin. “You’ll have a lot to do once you’re back.”

“Will I be back?”

“I believe so. After we get an antidote, you’ll speak with Dr. Walmer and gradually come back into service. We need our magician.”

“Your magician failed his king.” Merlin studies his hands.

“Our magician is mortal.” James stands and so does Merlin. “Come here.” He gives Merlin a hug and Merlin sags against him.

“Thank you, James. It does me good to see a friendly face.”

“You have many MANY friends here, Merlin.” He looks down at the computer and grins. “Have fun with solitaire. Oh, and by the way, you know anything you buy on Amazon will be traced?”

“Of course,” Merlin says with a sigh. “I hate Amazon.”

 

“Luv, m’home!” Eggsy maneuvers through the door with the large box, struggling to make it in without letting Eliza out. “Hello, my sweet girl!” He puts the box on the door, gives Eliza kisses, and does up the security protocol. “Yer package came. What did ya order?”

“Hello, darling boy. How was your workout?” Harry kisses Eggsy, nuzzling at his neck. “Mmm…I do love how sweaty you get after a run.”

“Yer disgusting.” Eggsy smiles at him. “Dirty old perv. Wanna peel this off of me an’ see how sweaty we can really get?”

“Not particularly. Dinner is ready.” Harry looks down at the box. “What’s this?”

“I thought ya ordered it?”

“No.” Harry frowns.

“Not mine, guv.” 

“Bring it to the kitchen. Carefully, please.” 

“Really, ‘arry?” But Eggsy does as he asks. Harry has his Galahad face on and Eggsy shivers. Maybe they WILL be getting sweaty. He looks at the label. “Just says Amazon.” He shrugs. 

“Right.” Harry’s come back with some sort of wand that he’s waving around the box.

“What is that?”

“Bomb detector.”

“Shut up.” Eggsy’s mouth falls open. “We have a bomb detector? That is fuckin’ SICK.”

“We’re spies and we’ve received a package that we didn’t order. A bomb detector is required.” Harry waves the wand around the box seven or eight times before declaring it safe.

“Our anniversary’s comin’ up, maybe someone sent us somethin’.”

“You’re probably right my boy.” Harry smiles at him. “You are itching to open it.”

“Didn’t get many presents as a kid, ‘arry,” Eggsy reminds him. Harry motions to the box. Eggsy slices the tape open and digs in. “Dog treats…new food dish…five, no, six, no, seven toys…aw, this is cute.” He holds up a pink blanket with black bones on it. “It’s all fer Eliza.”

“Is there a note or an invoice?”

“Wait. Here.” Eggsy digs to the bottom of the box. He clears his throat. “Dear Miss Eliza…Please accept my apologies if I hurt or scared you in any way. I hope you enjoy what I’ve sent you, and perhaps sometime I will be able to visit you. Please tell your Da and Daddy hello for me. Merlin.” Eggsy looks up at Harry. “Fuck.” He’s not sure how to feel. Part of him still feels a stab of fear at the sound of Merlin’s name, but at the same time he’s touched that Merlin thought to send an apology gift to Eggsy’s fucking DOG.

“My thoughts exactly,” Harry whispers. 

“Have ya heard anythin’, ‘arry?”

“Not much. He’s getting restless, keeps asking to work.”

“Say anything else?” Harry shakes his head. “Truth, ‘arry.”

“Asks for me, apparently. Yesterday he ranted for a good hour, pounding on the door and demanding to speak to me, that he’d make me understand.” Harry sighs. 

“M’sorry, luv.” Eggsy puts his arm around Harry’s waist and hugs him close. “This was nice of ‘im, though.”

“He would never intentionally hurt Eliza. Or you.”

“I know.” Eggsy lays his head against Harry’s arm and sighs.

 

“WHAT is that?” Harry gasps as Eggsy enters his office two days later. 

“This? You saw me in this suit just this morning, ‘arry. Getting’ senile in yer old age?” Eggsy bounces over to his desk and kisses him. “Hello, Arthur, SIR.” Eggsy purrs the last word.

“Stop.” Harry stands up, grabs Eggsy by the arms and puts him a few feet away. He grabs Eggsy’s chin and tilts his head. “WHAT is that?” His fingers gently touch the stitches on Eggsy’s cheek.

“Cut m’self shavin’?”

“I was in the room with you while you were shaving.” Harry studies him for a moment. “Shall I call Tor, then?”

“No.” Eggsy hangs his head. “Took the new Porsche for a run around the track…might’ve forgotten to wear a helmet.”

“Gary David Unwin-Hart!” Harry actually screams. Eggsy jumps. “Are you quite mad?” Eggsy opens his mouth. “No. I do not want to hear it.” Harry goes to his desk and taps at his computer. “Good morning. Would you be so kind as to fetch Agent Tor for me? Thank you.”

“What? ‘arry…I mean, Arthur…”

Harry gives him such a venomous look that he shrinks back. “Hello, Agent Tor.”

“Hello, Arthur,” Tor says dully.

“I am not angry with you, Tor. Agent Tristan is a grown man and should know better.”

“M’sorry, sir. It’s my iron-clad rule that everyone wears a helmet. Even me.”

“I am fully aware of this and so is Tristan. I am calling to inform you that he is not to set foot in that garage, not even to look at a car, for the next week. Seven days. Is that clear?”

“Crystal clear, sir.”

“Thank you, Tor. Good day.” Harry disconnects the call and glares at Eggsy. He’s absolutely furious, fear spurring fire through his body. “What the FUCK were you thinking?”

“I was goin’ around tha track twice. Didn’t think I…”

“No you most certainly did NOT think. While I trust you behind the wheel of a vehicle more than anyone else, accidents can happen.”

“Ya didn’t need ta fuckin’ GROUND me from tha track. M’not six!”

“I have the right to punish one of my agents when he acts like an idiot.”

“Whatever. Do whatever tha fuck ya want. I’ll go to my desk, then.” Eggsy heads for the door.

“After all we’ve been through recently you decide to endanger your life?”

Eggsy freezes at the door. “Don’t. Don’t throw that shite at me, ‘arry.”

Harry sighs, all anger seeping away. “You’re right, my boy. I’m sorry. That was completely unacceptable. Please come here.”

Eggsy slowly turns around and approaches him. “I’m sorry I upset you.”

“I’m sorry I said what I did.” He holds Eggsy close. “My darling boy, don’t you see that if something happened to you, I’d be a wreck? Look how I was when you were shot.”

“I know. Wasn’t thinkin’, yer absolutely right.”

“Stay for a bit. Let’s talk about something else. My work can wait for a moment.” Harry gently kisses the wound and pulls Eggsy towards the sofa. He sits at the end and Eggsy curls up next to him. “We’ve been under so much stress. Let’s talk about our anniversary.”

“Mmm,” Eggsy hums contentedly, playing with Harry’s wedding ring. “What about it?”

“What would you like to do?”

“Dinner, I guess. Maybe we could go ta another show. “Kinky Boots” sounds right up our alley.” Eggsy snickers. “Or maybe “Killer Joe.” That Orlando Bloom is fuckin’ FIT.”

“Brat.” Harry pinches his side. “Dinner and a show for our first wedding anniversary? I thought perhaps you’d like to go somewhere.”

“Go away?” Eggsy sits up, eyes wide. “Ya serious, ‘arry?”

“Yes. And this time we’ll go when we planned. Nothing will stop us,” Harry vows, and he means it. He’s not making THAT mistake again.

“Sounds perfect. Where were ya thinkin’?”

“Nothing as far away as the Caribbean. It took so long to get there. What would you think about Italy?”

“NO,” Eggsy says immediately. “Not gonna spend all day listenin’ to ya speak Italian. Always wanna fuck ya when ya start that.” Eggsy blushes a bit.

“Oh, really? Sei il mio cuore, Eggsy.”

“Fuuuuck, Haz,” Eggsy moans. “What…”

“You are my heart.”

“I love you.” Eggsy slithers onto his lap and kisses him.

“You’re not thinking about Orlando Bloom any longer, are you?”

“Who?” Eggsy murmurs against his mouth. Someone knocks at the door. “Don’t.”

“Yes?” Harry manages, his throat suddenly dry.

“It’s Percival.”

“Don’t,” Harry says this time, at the same time Eggsy yells, “C’mon in, Alan!”

“Well, isn’t this a pretty sight?” Alan immediately comes over and sits on the sofa. “Is there room for me?”

“No,” Harry snaps. Eggsy falls into the space between them.

“Not this time, Alan, sorry. Talkin’ about our anniversary.”

“How adorable.” Alan rolls his eyes. “What sort of romantic getaway are you planning?”

“Dunno. Any ideas?” Eggsy asks.

“Spain is pretty this time of year,” he suggests. “You could always go somewhere in the States. Or Canada. Newfoundland is rather breathtaking.”

“That all sounds good.” Eggsy pulls out his phone and starts tapping away. Harry sighs and stands, spell broken.

“Did you need something, Percival?” He returns to his desk.

“Just paying a visit to our fearless leader,” Alan says, batting his eyes. Eggsy snorts.

“I’m sure we could find…” Harry’s computer beeps. “Yes, Juliet?”

“Margaret from Ops just called, sir. They’ve found the scientists. They’re holed up in a house outside Athens.”

Alan immediately jumps to his feet. “Thank you. Agent Percival will report to Ops shortly.” Harry disconnects the call. “Alan…”

“Whatever it takes, Harry.”

Eggsy stands up as well. “Be safe an’ bring those fuckers back here.”

“I will, boy.” Alan allows Eggsy to hug him and hurries out of the room.


	16. Chapter 16

SIXTEEN

Someone unlocks the door to Merlin’s suite and he sighs, not even looking up from his book. “If you’re not coming to take my vitals or bring me a snack, I’m not interested.”

“Unfortunately that is of no consequence, Merlin.”

“Ah.” Merlin marks his place and smiles. “I was wondering when you’d show up.”

“How are you?” Dr. Walmer looks around the room, smiling at the stacks of books along the walls.

“Fine, Dr. Walmer. Just bloody peachy.” Merlin stands and walks to a small table. “May I offer you tea?” He sees the doctor eyeing up the leaning piles of books. “I don’t have much else to do. I’m currently reading the American Westerns by Zane Grey. Fascinating.”

“Please. I did bring a treat. My wife made them. Lemon bars.” He unwraps a small parcel and puts it on the larger table.

“Lemon bars. No offense to your wife, Dr. Walmer, but Eggsy Unwin-Hart makes the best lemon bars this side of heaven. Melt in your mouth.” He hands the man a cup of tea. “I’ll let you finish the tea.” He brings the sugar and milk.

“Thank you. I didn’t realize Agent Tristan baked.”

“Not as well as he cooks, but he’s pretty damn amazing.” Merlin sits and bites into a lemon bar. “But these come a very close second.”

“I’ll make sure and tell her.” 

“So, what do you want from me, sir? Want to pick my brain?”

“No. I’m just here to speak with you. I need to get a good picture of how you are now, so when you take the antidote, we can tell if it’s working.”

“Antidote?” Merlin’s ears perk up. “They’ve found the scientists then?”

“Yes. I can’t tell you much more than that, because I don’t know.”

“Of course. You wouldn’t have clearance for that,” Merlin muses.

“I noticed you called Agent Tristan by his name.”

“Yes. Can’t help that, I suppose. Eggsy bakes. Agent Tristan does not.”

“No, I mean his full name. Unwin-Hart.”

“Yes.” Merlin gives him a strange look. “Because he’s married.”

“To Arthur.”

“To Harry Hart.” Merlin smiles softly as he thinks of him. “Damn lucky to be married to Harry. The most incredible man on the planet, and he’s taken by that…child.”

“You don’t approve?”

“Of course I don’t. The boy’s bewitched him.”

“And you feel you would be a better match.”

“Of course. I know Harry inside and out. I could give him everything he needs.”

“What does he need?”

“Someone to love him, take care of him, look after him.”

“And Agent Tristan…Eggsy…can’t do that? He doesn’t love him? Doesn’t do for him?”

“He…” Merlin blinks hard, his head pounding. “He does. I know he does, but I…I…” The lemon bar threatens to come back up. “Fix me, Doctor, please. I don’t want to hurt anymore, don’t want to hurt the ones I love. I love Harry…I love Eggsy. I threatened him.”

“They know you didn’t mean to hurt them, Merlin. They know it wasn’t your fault.”

“They might know it, but how long will it take before they can look at me and see the man who loves his best friend more than his own life, loves his best friend’s husband like family, instead of the monster?”

 

“Thank you for meeting with me today.” Dr. Walmer smiles at them. “I apologize for not asking you to come sooner, but I felt it was wise to wait a bit. Of course, if you would have needed me, I gladly would have met with you sooner.”

“It’s fine, Doctor.”

“Yeah…been doin’ all right.” Eggsy reaches over and takes Harry’s hand, smiling gratefully when Harry squeezes it. He means it. He could have spoken to the therapist sooner, but he didn’t feel as if things were coming apart anymore. The horrible things Merlin had said were pushing to the back of his mind. Harry assured him almost every day that he loved him, that he only wanted him, and that he’d never think that Eggsy wasn’t good enough.

“I’ve read through your reports of what happened the night the Sword in the Stone protocol was initiated, so have I have a general idea of what you’ve been through. I also met with Merlin yesterday.” Eggsy stiffens a bit. “Of course I can’t relate too much, but I will say that when his mind was clear, he was quite adamant about how much he loved you both.”

“I know Merlin. He has a steadfast loyalty to those he considers family,” Harry says. “This is tearing him apart.”

“Wonder who THAT sounds like,” Eggsy says with a snort. Harry gives him a look. 

“He seemed pleased to know we’re getting closer to an antidote. That’s a good sign.”

“I don’t know that I could have fought this as much as he has,” Harry says with a sigh.

“Are ya fuckin’ kiddin’ me?” Eggsy gasps. “Excuse my language, Doctor, but really, ‘arry? Yer one of the strongest people I know.” He doesn’t even try to hide his accent.

“Not like Merlin. He’s dealt with so much. In training, he was treated much as you were, Eggsy. Other recruits looked down on him because he was Scottish and from an average family. He had no title, no connections. That’s one of the reasons he was rooting for you from the very beginning. When we arrived that first night, he shouldn’t have let you in. Not only did I not provide your name beforehand, but we were late.”

“Yer always late.”

“It was not to be tolerated that night, but he did it anyway. I could tell; he took one look at you and decided you were worthy, because he knew what you were up against.”

“Fuck.” Eggsy stares at his hands. “When ya was in Kentucky, ‘arry, an’ me an’ him had ta take care of Valentine? Jesus, I woulda completely shattered without him.”

“I think that’s what you will have to hold onto, Agent Tristan. I’m not saying it will be easy. You’ll look at him and everything he said will probably come back quite quickly.”

“He’ll grovel,” Harry says quickly.

Eggsy stares at him. “Merlin, grovel? He didn’t even apologize when someone caught him eatin’ tha last pastry in tha pantry one day.”

“When he’s betrayed someone’s trust, he grovels,” Harry corrects him. “And believe me when I tell you he will want to grovel before you in ways you cannot possibly imagine.”

 

“Be careful.” Harry gives Eggsy a sweet kiss. “Obey your handler.” The kiss is longer. “Come back to me.” He fists his hand in Eggsy’s hair, tongue flicking in his mouth. “I love you.”

“I’ll be back before ya know it, luv.” Eggsy leans his forehead against Harry’s. “I hate leavin’ ya. I know yer waitin’ on Alan, an’…”

“Darling, you’re waiting, too. We can use you more in South America than we can here.”

“I hafta admit, ‘arry, I miss havin’ Merlin in my ear. Penelope an’ her crew are fuckin’ aces, but he knows me. He knows how ta talk me down, how ta keep me safe.” 

“Eggsy, there is nothing to be ashamed of in what you just said!” Harry pulls back to look at him. “I know it’s very hard right now to remember this, but Merlin is still Merlin. He was…temporarily away. Alan will find the scientists and our Merlin will be back.”

“I hope so.” Eggsy sighs and slowly removes his wedding ring, one of the very last things he does before leaving on a mission. “This is my heart. I give it to you to protect. Keep it safe until I return to claim it.”

“You are my heart.” Harry tenderly kisses him, running his fingers through the soft hair. “I hate it when you go.”

“But when I come back, it’s usually pretty fuckin’ fun,” Eggsy says with the sly grin Harry adores. “Try not ta wank on my puppy gown.”

“I do NOT wank on your puppy gown!” Harry says indignantly. “I may occasionally get out your black tee, however.”

“I love you, you horny lunatic.” Eggsy gives him one more kiss and picks up his bag. “Be a good Arthur while I’m gone.” He blows him a kiss as he leaves Harry’s office.

Harry sighs as he sits back behind his desk, staring at a computer he doesn’t see. Supposedly it’s going to get easier, sending Eggsy out to possible injury or death every time he goes on a mission. He’s still waiting for that “getting easier” part to kick in. He finally opens his computer and starts working. He’s surprised when James knocks on his door and comes in. “Hello, James.”

“Hello, Harry. Eggsy’s off, then?” Harry nods. “For the best, I think. I’m sure you both are going a bit stir crazy waiting for Alan.” He sits near Harry’s desk.

“He’ll get the job done, I know it. He’s the best interrogator we have,” Harry says, and it’s true. He would not want to be on the receiving end of some of Alan’s skills. 

“I wanted to run something by you. Remember how you’d asked Merlin to work on ideas for tools that will easily fit into the heel of a shoe?” Harry nods. “He’s asking for a way to continue working on them. His suite is a bloody library now…stacks and stacks of books he’s torn through. A mind like his…I just hate to waste it. But I wasn’t sure how you’d feel for him to do something related to Kingsman before we…”

“Do it,” Harry says immediately. “He honestly had some brilliant ideas, not that I’m surprised. I’m sure a lot of it is in his computer, tell Penelope or whoever to get it for him, print it out. Give him paper and pens and whatever he needs. I can only imagine how it’s hurting him not to work right now.”

“He asks about you,” James says softly. “I mean, in THAT way, of course, but when he’s himself, he asks about you. Asks about Eggsy. Asks about your dog, for God’s sake. He feels very guilty.”

“I’m sure he does,” Harry says. He closes his eyes for a moment. “And working for Kingsman is one way he can push through that guilt, feel like he’s doing something good. I mean it when I say give him whatever he would need, within reason.”

“Of course, Arthur.” James stands. “I’ll work on that immediately.”

“You’ll take everything to him personally?”

“Yes. I visit every day. I think it soothes him, and I know I feel better checking in on him.”

“Tell him…tell him I asked about him, would you?”

“I will.” 

 

Harry spends the first two days of Eggsy’s mission shopping for anniversary gifts and researching holiday destinations. He buys him a lovely winter scarf that will match his eyes, a pair of hideous blue and silver trainers, and has a tee made with Eliza’s face on it. He finds a gorgeous gold chain that will make his neck look absolutely delicious, and he also donates an insane amount of money to an animal rescue fund in the city, making the check out in Eggsy’s name. He looks at websites praising the beauty of whalewatching and iceberg viewing in Newfoundland and Labrador. He makes a list of historic sites in Madrid. While all of this sounds lovely, he secretly wants to stay closer to home. He doesn’t want to spend time traveling somewhere. He wants to get there and hide away with his husband for the entire time they’re gone.

He’s making himself a snack on the afternoon of the third day when his phone rings. It’s his private line, a number he doesn’t know. “Harry Hart.”

“Hello, Harry Hart, you sexy fuck.”

“Eggsy?” Harry almost drops his knife. “Are you all right?”

“M’fine. Izzit a crime to call one’s fit as fuck husband? Maybe I missed yer voice.”

“Are you drunk? Eggsy, it’s…” Harry does some mental math. “It’s nine in the morning where you are.”

“My husband is so smart,” Eggsy says with a sigh. “Not drunk. Not anymore. Just haven’t slept in…a lot of hours.”

“My boy.” Harry sighs and closes his eyes. Eggsy never has a problem blending in with the locals, and apparently the locals he’s chosen to blend in with have taken him for quite a ride.

“Was wonderin’ if we could have a monkey.”

“A monkey,” Harry repeats.

“Yeah. Saw the cutest little thing in the market yesterday. Squirrel monkey. She held my finger and chattered at me, an’ fuck, ‘arry, I want one.”

“A monkey.” Harry prays for patience. “My darling, while I can deny you very little, I have to put my foot down. I’m sure there are all sorts of rules regarding what one can bring from Bolivia to England, and monkeys would not be on the good list.”

“C’mon, ‘arry. We work for…”

“Plus who would take care of it? Where would it be when we’re at work or in the field? It’s not like we could take a monkey to the kennel. And it would probably terrorize our Eliza.” He cannot believe he’s having this conversation. “Eggsy, where are you right now?”

“In my bed. So fuckin’ tired but I can’t sleep.”

“Close your eyes. Are they closed?”

“Yeah.”

“Imagine I’m there with you. You’re wrapped in my arms, we’ve just had amazing sex, and you’re feeling pleasured and tired and blissful. I’m right there, whispering in your ear how much I love you.”

“Mmm…I love you, ‘arry.”

“I love you, my darling boy. You are everything wonderful in my life. Now go to sleep, and when you wake up please do everything you can to finish your mission and come home to me.”

“Yes…’arry…”

Harry hangs up and stares at his phone. At least Eggsy hadn’t used his Kingsman glasses or secure line for THAT conversation. Apparently the mission wasn’t going too badly if he’d had time to get drunk and stay out all night. He opens his computer again and starts researching where he can get a stuffed squirrel monkey.

 

His glasses beep in the middle of the night, wakening him instantly. “Arthur,” he says groggily, rubbing at his face. _Not Eggsy, please GOD not Eggsy._

“Arthur, I’m sorry to waken you, but I thought you should know.”

“Of course, Ector.”

“I just got a coded transmission from Agent Percival. He’s sent all the information we need to concoct an antidote for Merlin. I’ll go in to HQ and…”

“No, James. It’s ridiculous for you to start trying to work at…” Harry squints at the clock. “Two in the morning. Start fresh, after you’ve had a decent night’s sleep.”

“We’ll fix him, Harry.”

“I know you will.” 

Harry hangs up and stares into the darkness. He fumbles for his cellphone and sits up. He thinks for a moment. The text is officially from Arthur, so he has to be very careful with what he says. _We look forward to your speedy return._ He kisses the phone and lays back down, although he knows sleep will not come.

 

He’s not at all surprised to find James in the lab when he arrives at HQ. “You’re early, Arthur.” James doesn’t look away from his work. 

“What time did you get here?”

“Five.”

Harry snorts. It’s quarter past seven now and he’s been awake since half-three. “Did you sleep at all?”

“I wouldn’t call it sleep. Tossing and turning, more like.” James finally looks at him. “I will never say this in the man’s presence, but Alan can be brilliant when he wants to. He sent me a video of the scientist explaining the formula so I’d get it from the horse’s mouth.” He shudders a bit. “Remind me to stay on Alan’s good side. Those men looked petrified.”

“He’s good at his job,” Harry agrees.

“He said he’d be along in a few days. He’ll drop them at holding and come back here.”

“Good.”

“I apologize if I sound rude, Harry, but I would prefer to concentrate on this. I want it done as soon as possible. It’s frighteningly simple, from the looks of it; I’m a bit ashamed I didn’t come up with it myself.”

“Of course, James. I will leave word that no one is to disturb you.” Harry puts a hand on his arm. “Thank you for all your hard work.”

“As I told Merlin, Harry, he’s my friend, too.”

 

An alarm rings on Merlin’s phone as he’s rereading his notes. He sighs, stands, and stretches. He touches his toes for a few moments, then falls to the ground and begins to do push-ups. He doesn’t have access to the Kingsman gym facilities, of course, but he’s refusing to let himself fatten up while he’s locked away. He counts to fifty and rolls onto his back. He’s on his twentieth abdominal crunch when someone knocks on the door. He makes it to thirty before he sits up. “Miss Evans.”

“How did you know it was me?” 

“You knock. You should give Agent Tristan lessons.” He stands up and stretches again. “What may I do for you? Pint of blood? Pound of flesh?”

“Your presence is required in the medical bay, Merlin.” A smile beams across her face. “Ector has been working insanely hard for the past few days, and we believe he’s completed the antidote. We’re going to move you down there, give you the injection, and then keep you for observation. I thought you might want to pack up any important affects and bring them along.” She motions to a wheeled cart positioned behind her. “If we can’t fit it all, just put it by the door and someone will come for the rest.”

Merlin stares at her. “Antidote?”

“Yes. Apparently Agent Percival can be very…persuasive…when he wants.”

“You have no idea, Miss Evans. I could tell you a story about Percival, Arthur and myself that would make your hair turn white.”

“I’m sure there is more than just one story like that.”

Merlin orders his feet to start moving, even though his mind is in a bit of a fog. Antidote. Does he want it? Is it a good idea? He grabs a few books and puts them in the cart. “Will…does…does Arthur know?”

“Yes, Merlin,” she says softly. “He’s pleased with this new development,” she says carefully.

“You don’t have to pussyfoot around me, young lady,” Merlin snaps. “I know exactly what he’s doing. He’s happy to have me locked away, happy to have time with his precious HUSBAND.”

“He always is happy to have time with his husband,” she whispers. “But he doesn’t want you locked away. Arthur cares about your welfare a great deal. I believe you know that.”

“I…I…” He clenches his fists and fights through the fog. “I do believe it. If you’d be so kind to pack those papers, I’ll get some of my clothes.”

Thirty minutes later he’s sitting on an exam table in Medical, shirt off, long legs swinging back and forth. “Merlin.” James enters the room and locks the door behind him.

“Looking to off me, then?”

“No. I just want no interruptions. You know we’re being monitored.” James motions to the cameras on every wall. He stands in front of Merlin and hugs him. “I’m so sorry you’ve been through all this, my friend.”

“It was my decision, wasn’t it? I made the stupid decision to jab an unknown substance into my arm.” He rubs his hand over the spot. “It could have been so much worse. I could have truly hurt someone.”

“But you didn’t. You’re a warrior, Merlin. We all know it. You’re the most badass of us all, for all your sitting behind a desk.” He wipes Merlin’s bicep with an alcohol swab. “According to the manufacturer, this take much less time to work than the original injection.”

“Please tell me Alan took care of those bastards.”

“Indeed. I saw video.” James takes a deep breath. “In we go, then.” He pushes the plunger. Merlin winces a tiny bit at the initial injection but feels nothing out of the ordinary. “Take a few deep breaths.”

“Is Alan all right?”

“From what I hear. A few broken fingers, but nothing that will hold him back. You know how he is. We expect him back within a day or two.”

“So now what?”

“Now we wait.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I actually didn't plan for smut at the end of this chapter, but Harry and Eggsy were all PLEASE can we and who am I to say no?

SEVENTEEN

“You are going to be absolutely insufferable now, aren’t you?” Harry stands in the doorway of the exam room, arms crossed over his chest. 

“Would you expect anything less?” Alan smiles at him from the exam table. “Not that I don’t deserve it. I did single-handedly find those evil bastards, get them to talk, and come back to HQ all in one piece. I believe you owe me.”

“Your modesty is definitely your most attractive trait, Alan.” Harry slowly walks towards him. 

“You think I’m attractive? I knew it.”

Harry ignores that. “And I believe you were due back yesterday?”

“I needed to stop and buy an anniversary gift.”

“Your wedding gift was bad enough, Alan. I shudder to think what you might have found for our anniversary.”

“Oh, you’re going to love it,” Alan promises.

Harry gently lifts Alan’s left hand. “Three broken fingers. You’re slacking in your old age.”

“You are seven months older than I am so you can shut it. I underestimated one of my prey…he must work out.” Alan sighs as he looks at his hand. “My gun hand, too.”

“I’ll find something for you to do in the field. There’s no way I’m keeping you around here for long.”

“Around your husband, you mean.” Alan winks at him.

Harry doesn’t address that, either. “Wonderful work, Agent Percival. I’m sorry you were injured in the line of duty.”

“You know, it’s kind of cute, really. When I met Eggsy, he didn’t want me touching you. Now you don’t want me touching HIM.”

“You never loved ME.”

“No, I didn’t,” Alan admits. “I do now, if it makes you feel better. I love you like…that sexy cousin that you’re not supposed to think is sexy, but you absolutely can’t help it?”

“Good God, Alan, what kind of family did you come from?” Harry asks in horror. Alan snickers.

“Harry, do you know that animated movie about the green monster who steals Christmas? Sneaks into town and takes everything?”

“Why am I not surprised that it’s a story you enjoy?”

“Remember how he starts out with his heart a few sizes too small, and then after he realizes the magic of Christmas, or whatever, his heart grows and grows until he breaks the thing they’re measuring with?”

“Yes,” Harry says slowly, totally lost as to where this is actually going.

“My heart is the one that’s two sizes too small. It’s so small that one can barely find it on a good day. You managed to make a tiny sliver in it, but Eggsy, just by being his amazing self, wiggled a bit into the crack. He can’t go all the way in, but he can maneuver just enough to make me do generous and kind things. HIS heart, however, is the one that is so big the love in it is immeasurable. And that love is yours. His heart is yours. And I would never EVER do anything to get in the way of that. It’s too rare.”

“Well, Alan.” Harry clears his throat. “It seems Merlin isn’t the only one who spouts poetry.”

“Eh.” Alan shrugs. “A slick tongue is good for more than just sucking cock.”

“You’re unbelievable.” Harry wraps his arms around him. “Thank you for everything you’ve done.” Alan returns the embrace, sighing dramatically. Harry groans.

“There are fables in Scotland…stories of magical creatures who are able to beguile and bewitch by doing absolutely nothing.” The accent is unmistakable. “A look, a single word, and a mortal is ensnared. How you manage to be your complete and utter evil self yet get someone like Eggsy and Harry to actually WANT to hug you, Alan, is beyond all human comprehension.”

They turn to see Merlin standing in the same pose Harry had held just moments before. He’s wearing pajama pants and an old tee and there’s a bit of a scruff on his usually bald head. “Are you jealous, Merlin? It’s hard watching someone like me get all the adoration,” Alan says as Harry pulls away. Harry nervously waits, wondering if Merlin will go ballistic at the way Alan was holding him. 

“Oh please. You’ll get yours in the end.” Merlin smirks at him and then looks shyly at Harry. “Hello, Harry.”

“Merlin.”

“I see you’re human after all.” Merlin motions at Alan’s hand. “Shame they couldn’t have broken your jaw, shut you up for a while.”

“I’m so sorry to disappoint.” Alan hops off the table and hugs him. Merlin sighs and Harry watches him close his eyes and rest his head on Alan’s shoulder. “I believe I’ve missed you.”

“I have NOT missed you. As stir-crazy as I felt in that suite, at least I didn’t have to try to get you to follow my directions. Like nailing porridge to a tree.” His face is muffled in Alan’s shoulder. “I’m sorry I shoved you.”

“People want to shove me all the time. You’re one of the lucky ones who got to actually do it. How are you feeling?”

“Perfectly fine. Although I felt perfectly fine before, so…” Merlin rubs at the back of his neck and looks at Harry.

“I’m going to go shower. I feel disgusting. Don’t suppose either of you want to join me?” Alan looks from Merlin to Harry. They both glare at him. “No? All right, then. See you around. Give Eggsy my love when you speak with him again, Harry.”

“I most certainly will not. But I suppose I have to ask you over for dinner now that the cat’s out of the bag.”

“I can’t wait. Gentlemen.” Alan gives them a cocky bow and leaves the room, shutting the door as he goes.

Harry and Merlin stare at each other for a long moment. “So...you’re staying in medical, then?”

“Have been for the last few days. They said I should probably be able to go home after a week of observation. They’re watching us now, of course, just so you know…so you feel safe.”

“I’ve never felt actually threatened by you, Merlin.”

“You should have. I remember some of the things I said to you, how I acted.” Merlin rubs at his arms. “You cannot know how ashamed I am, Harry. How sorry.”

“Merlin…”

“Please believe me when I tell you that I honestly did not think I had any feelings for you when I plunged that needle into my body. You and James were right. It’s been decades since I even wanted to date anyone. You were my best friend. Do I think you’re attractive? Of course I do. You and your beautiful husband make a very pretty pair. But I never thought of trying for anything more, not in all these years.”

“I believe you, Merlin. We have a special connection, you and I,” Harry says, and he means it.

“We do.”

“I told Eggsy about how you helped me that day in the alley. You’ve always had my back. This time…this time you didn’t. That was hard.”

“I’m not sure how many times I need to apologize, but I will do it over and over until…”

“You don’t have to,” Harry interrupts, taking a few steps towards him. “It doesn’t change things, and it won’t truly fix them. We’ll move on.”

“Things won’t ever be the way they were,” Merlin says. “We will have to rebuild things in a different manner.” He sighs, rubbing his head again. “I can’t wait to be back in my chair behind my computer. I’ve missed Kingsman, and the knights need me.”

“That they do.” Harry motions to a small table and chairs. “Can we at least sit?”

“Yes, but…” Merlin stands in front of him, biting his bottom lip.

“Come here, idiot.” Harry wraps his arms around him and feels Merlin fist his hands in Harry’s jacket. 

“I’m so sorry, Harry. I’m so sorry.”

“Quiet. No more apologies.” The way Merlin’s hugging him feels completely different than any time he’s touched him after injecting the drug. This feels…right. This feels like his best friend. “I’ve missed you so much, Ewan.”

Merlin pulls back to look at him. “Ewan? You haven’t called me by my Christian name in years.”

Harry shrugs. “It felt right. And no, I haven’t told it to Eggsy. He’s asked twice and I’ve refused.”

“That’s the sign of a good friend.” Merlin goes to the table and sits. Harry sits across from him. “He’s away on assignment, then?”

“Yes. Breaking up that gun smuggling thing in Bolivia.”

“Ah, that’s come to fruition, then? Excellent.” Merlin plays with a crack in the table. “I’ll have a lot to say to him when he’s ready.”

“Don’t feel it’s required, Merlin. He understands.”

“He deserves it. He deserves me crawling on my hands and knees and begging him for forgiveness.”

“He doesn’t expect that. Although he’d probably enjoy the sight of you on your hands and knees for him,” Harry teases cautiously. He’s testing the waters, trying to sense Merlin’s reaction to Eggsy.

“Harry.” Merlin’s head turns red. “First you’re hugging Alan, now you’re trying to put me in service to your husband. Feeling frisky today?”

“I miss him,” Harry admits. “He called me from Bolivia asking if we could have a monkey.”

“A MONKEY?” Merlin gasps. “Please tell me you said no.”

“Of course I said no!”

“Well, you say yes to everything else when it comes to that boy.” Harry raises an eyebrow. “You DO.”

“I may…give in occasionally.” It’s Merlin’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “Quiet, you, or I’ll send you to work in the kitchen.”

“Speaking of work…I know I’m rebuilding trust, but how soon do you think I can back into Ops, Harry. I’m going crazy thinking of what they’re probably doing to my department.”

“Merlin, they’ve been doing a wonderful job in your absence. We’ll have you start shadowing down there, and once James and medical give you the all-clear, you’ll be back in your ugly chair and your uglier work jumpers.”

“I miss my jumpers,” Merlin moans. “Most of them are at home, along with my straight razor.” He rubs a hand over his head. 

“I’m glad you’re back, Merlin.”

Merlin smiles tiredly. “I may not be all the way back, Harry, but I think I’m on my way.”

 

Harry hums as he undoes the security protocol, moving from humming to quietly singing as he steps inside the house. “All I want is a room somewhere…far away from the cold night air…” He stares down in shock as Eliza runs to greet him. “Eliza? How did you get out of your crate? Holy fuck…I’m afraid what you might have gotten into in my absence.” Harry winces, thinking all the things she could have knocked down or chewed on throughout the day.

“Ya sing while I’m gone, ‘arry? I’d hope ya’d sing while I’m here,” a voice says from the top of the steps. “Guess ya don’t even miss me.” Eggsy pouts in an exaggerated fashion as he slowly walks down the stairs. He’s wearing his slides and Harry’s red dressing gown.

Harry drops his packages. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

The pout deepens. “Last time I checked, I LIVE here. Although I heard you an’ Alan been getting’ pretty chummy while I was gone. Wish I coulda seen that.”

“I…you’re in Bolivia. For another two days.”

“No, I’m in England. As of a few hours ago. Nice thing about spies…when ya ask sweet, they keep their mouths shut about yer comings an’ goings…keep it quiet so tha big boss don’t know yer back.”

Harry stares at him, mouth watering at the sight. For once he’s come back without any noticeable bruises or injuries, although Harry’s planning on putting some significant marks on that smooth skin. “You’re in my dressing gown.”

“Smells like you. Missed you.” Eggsy inhales. “Guess what I got on under it?” Harry shakes his head. “Absolutely fuckin’ nothin’.”

Harry moans and pulls him into a kiss. His tongue slowly slides into Eggsy’s mouth as his arms wrap around him. “You are sinful, you are beautiful, you are so perfect.”

“Well, about time we get to a proper hello.” Eggsy runs his fingers through Harry’s hair, messing it up. “Been waitin’ around here all by myself…could barely keep m’self…occupied.” He winks at Harry.

Harry absently paws at his inside pocket and pulls out the ring. He means to say “marry me” but instead says “Fuck me.” He turns bright red.

Eggsy laughs with delight. “Oh, my luv, I will do so with pleasure.” He takes the ring, slides it on his finger, and undoes the belt of the dressing gown. It slides to the floor, leaving him in his beautifully naked glory.

“God,” Harry says in a strangled tone.

“Anything in these bags that needs ta go in tha fridge or somethin’?” Eggsy asks. Harry mutely shakes his head. “Come along, then. Eliza. Bed,” Eggsy orders, and she obediently trots back to the kitchen.

Eggsy starts back up the steps, giving Harry quite a view as he follows. As soon as they’re in the bedroom, Harry unties his shoes and tosses them in the general direction of the closet. Eggsy’s eyes widen. The socks go next, ending up somewhere near the en suite. “You’ve had quite the negative influence on me,” Harry murmurs. He goes for his tie but Eggsy stops him.

“Please accept my apologies.” He grabs the lube from the nightstand, sits Harry on the bed and straddles his lap. He slides Harry’s jacket from his shoulders and lets it fall to the floor. “Let me make it up to ya…by being an even more negative influence.” His mouth meets Harry’s as he starts to unknot Harry’s tie. Harry groans, hands sliding up and down Eggsy’s back.

“I feel utterly corrupted.” Harry’s mouth moves down Eggsy’s throat and bites at his shoulder.

Eggsy growls, finally tearing the tie away and working on Harry’s buttons. “Again, my apologies.” The shirt ends up on the floor with the jacket. Eggsy rolls on Harry’s lap a bit. “I’ll do my best ta distract ya.” He pushes Harry until he’s lying on the bed, feet still on the floor. He kisses Harry’s chest, tongue flicking over Harry’s nipples as he works his way down. He kneels on the floor between Harry’s legs and undoes the belt, button, and zipper. Eggsy slowly removes Harry’s trousers and pants, and Harry gasps as the cool air hits his throbbing cock. “I have you.” Eggsy slides both hands around Harry’s cock, not moving them, simply warming his skin. It may be the hottest thing Harry’s ever felt.

“Eggsy…God…I…” Harry groans, unable to keep from thrusting against the warm palms.

“I have you,” Eggsy repeats. He runs his hands up and down Harry’s thighs before planting kisses along the length of Harry’s cock. Harry props himself on his elbows but Eggsy pulls away. “No. Lay back down, luv. Close yer eyes or I’m gonna have to blindfold ya.” The thought is suddenly very enticing and Harry’s cock twitches a bit. “Oh, really?” Eggsy gets up, goes to the wooden box in the corner and pulls out a black blindfold. “Hoped we’d get ta use this soon.” He wraps the silky fabric around Harry’s head and ties a knot in the back. “Are ya good?”

“Yes,” Harry whispers. He knows what Eggsy’s asking. They never play hard enough to have actual safewords but the two of them have been in enough dangerous situations that blindfolds can pull in some bad memories. “Please.”

“Good. Now just relax. Let me take care of ya.” Harry feels Eggsy kneel again and he runs his hands through the soft hair. Eggsy’s wet mouth soon envelopes him and he groans, thrusting off the bed. Eggsy’s hands gently hold his hips, thumbs drawing small circles on his skin. Eggsy hums against Harry’s cock and Harry jumps.

“Eggsy…oh my boy…fuck yes please…” 

“So pretty. Could spend all day just lickin’ an’ suckin’ ya. But I can’t now…I need ta be inside of ya.” Harry hears the cap pop and shivers a bit with anticipation. A finger starts to rub against his entrance as Eggsy sucks him again. 

“More…please, Eggsy…” Harry gasps as the finger slides inside.

“Ya know what I was imaginin’ on tha jet? I was thinkin’, what if ya knew exactly when I was comin’ home, an’ ya were waitin’ fer me up here? You were here for, oh, an hour or so, an’ ya took one of those plugs from the box an’ worked it inside.” Harry shivers again and a second finger slowly works in. “Ya’d have yerself all wet an’ stretched, an’ when ya heard me comin’ up tha steps, ya’d get on yer hands an’ knees an’ wait for me.” Eggsy nuzzles against the tender space where Harry’s thigh meets his groin. All Harry can do is concentrate on the feeling of Eggsy against his skin, on the sinful words coming out of his mouth. He loves when Eggsy talks like this and Eggsy knows it. It’s a weapon he wields quite artfully. “An’ I’d come in tha room, an’ you’d be turned just right, so tha first thing I’d see was your beautiful arse with that plug in it. An’ I wouldn’t have to get m’self ready, get you ready…” Eggsy’s panting a bit now as he stands up. Harry hears the lube again and whimpers. “I’d be able ta just come over, pull out that plug, an’ fuck ya.” Eggsy slides inside on the last word and Harry yells, hands gripping at the covers. “Would ya like that, ‘arry? Would ya get all nervous, waitin’ fer me, knowin’ I was gonna come in here an’ take yer fit arse?”

“Yes, Eggsy, take it…”

“Oh, I will.” Eggsy leans over him and kisses him. Harry’s fingernails dig into Eggsy’s back and he yelps. Harry bites his neck, remembering at the last minute to keep the bite low. He works the skin until he knows there will be a deep purple mark. “Fuck, ‘arry!”

“You missed me?”

“Christ, yes.”

“Fuck me like you missed me.”

“You gorgeous bitch.” Eggsy grabs Harry’s hips and slams into him, sliding him across the covers. He pulls out, moves Harry a bit until he’s entirely on the bed, and lifts Harry up to enter him again.

Harry rips off the blindfold, blinking against the sudden light. He focuses on Eggsy. His face is red, he’s biting his bottom lip, and a beautiful mark has formed on his throat. “I dreamt of you last night,” Harry whispers. “You were doing this…you were fucking me and when I woke up this morning for a minute I actually felt it.”

“You’ll feel it tomorrow mornin’, luv, I promise ya that.” Eggsy bends Harry’s legs a bit to get a new angle, hips sliding against Harry’s body with a gratifying slap.

“Jesus! Eggsy, please…” 

“Right there, luv? Is that it?” Eggsy snarls. “Stroke your cock, ‘arry. Wanna see you come for me. You show ME how much ya missed me.” He picks up Harry’s right hand and lewdly licks and spits over his palm and fingers.

“Eggsy…oh fuck Eggsy I’m so close…” Harry’s hand is clumsy as he works his cock and he can’t look away from Eggsy’s face.

“Come…please, ‘arry I can’t…” Eggsy’s fingers dig into Harry’s hips as he comes. Harry groans as he feels Eggsy pulse inside him. His own orgasm isn’t far behind and he chokes for breath. He throws an arm over his face as his body quivers. Eggsy slowly withdraws and kisses Harry’s chest. “Be right back.” He comes back with a flannel and quickly wipes Harry all over.

“Throw it on the floor I don’t care,” Harry mumbles. Eggsy chuckles and crawls onto the bed, curling up against Harry’s chest. “One of these days, just once, I’d love to have a romantic dinner waiting for you. I’d love to have the chance to spoil you.”

“Well, if this was such a hardship, I will definitely make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

“I will never forgive you,” Harry retorts, and Eggsy chuckles again.

“I did miss you. Every minute.”

“Not every minute, I hope. You had a job to do.”

“YES, Arthur.” Eggsy pokes him. “I did the job an’ did it early, remember?”

“Well done.” He kisses Eggsy’s forehead. 

“So.” Eggsy traces lines on Harry’s chest and stomach. “Alan got back?”

“Yes. James worked miracles in the lab, as usual, and he gave the treatment to Merlin. They discharged him to go home for now. He’s going to start shadowing his staff tomorrow.”

“How is he?”

“Good. Normal, as far as I can see, although he’s far too quiet. I don’t like this Merlin, the one who walks around feeling like he has to apologize every five seconds. I much prefer the bluster and yelling and cursing.”

“I can’t say that I blame him, Haz. An’ who is he apologizin’ to?”

“Me. Alan. James. And of course he wants to apologize to you.”

“Eventually. M’glad he’s doin’ well.”

Harry kisses the top of Eggsy’s head. “I love you, my sweet boy.”

“Love you, too.”

“And I may have invited Alan to dinner some night,” he admits.

Eggsy’s head pops up. “Yer takin’ tha piss.” Harry shakes his head. “Fuck.” He thinks for a moment. “We’ll have sandwiches that night. No utensils required. And I’m hiding all tha knives.”

“Shut it.” And Harry kisses him to make sure it stays shut.


	18. Chapter 18

EIGHTEEN

Eggsy ties his tie as he walks, hoping Harry won’t mind if he doesn’t put his jacket on quite yet. He’s just finished running a few new cars through their paces, and he’s still a bit warm. He believes he’s timed it just right for them to have some lunch together. He loves doing that when he’s back from a mission, finding time to just be with Harry doing simple things. 

He’s surprised to see Harry’s office door open, and even more surprised to hear raised voices. “I asked you a simple question. Do you think it’s a good idea?” Harry’s voice says.

“And I answered you. I told you all my ideas were good, and that your question was stupid.”

“All your ideas have NOT been good. You got me tied to a rowboat in Venice.”

“You didn’t evacuate when you were told.”

“You dropped me in Laos with a half-empty magazine for my gun.”

“You didn’t listen when I said left instead of right. You’re lucky I love you, Harry Hart, or you’d be dead at least thrice already.”

“You’re lucky I was Galahad, or you’d have been fired a long time ago.”

“Prick.”

“Bastard.”

“C four in the shoe? I think it’s a brilliant idea.”

“And how do they ignite it? Set the shoe on fire, throw it, and hope for the best? Do you really want Eggsy to have C four in his shoe?”

“Your boy has self-control when he tries.”

“Do you want GARETH to have C four in his shoe?”

“Point taken.”

Eggsy leans his head against the wall. Merlin. He hasn’t seen him yet, has found reasons to avoid him since he’d returned from Bolivia two days before. He cannot continue to be a child about it, but he’s actually petrified about facing him. What if he wants to punch Merlin? What if Merlin’s not cured and he wants to punch HIM?”

“You mentioned something else, Merlin.”

“Yes. How about this?”

“Pretend I have no clue what this all means.”

“Easy enough to pretend. It will boost a cell signal when there’s no tower to bounce from. If something would happen to the Kingsman glasses, and the agent would need to get a message out in, say, the jungle, or wherever, this would boost it just enough to get a call through. The signal couldn’t last long, in case the agent was being traced in some way. The only problem is how to activate it. We cannot click the heels together, because of the blade in the toe.”

“That’s quite brilliant, Merlin.”

“Of course it is.”

Merlin sounds like his old self. Eggsy takes a deep breath. He’s saved the world, he can do this. Harry is there, and Harry wouldn’t let Merlin within arm’s length of anyone if he was dangerous. “Well, this sounds like a meetin’ of tha minds,” Eggsy says cheerfully as he breezes in the door.

Merlin’s eyes widen and he slowly stands. “Hello, Agent Tristan…Eggsy…”

“Merlin.” Eggsy nods at him. “Thought we could have lunch, ‘arry, but seems like yer busy.”

“We can do this later.” Merlin hurriedly starts gathering papers and random items together. “Just brainstorming, really.”

“No. It’s all right, Merlin. You two keep talkin’. Did…did I hear somethin’ about a signal booster in a heel?” Merlin slowly nods. “Is there a reason ya couldn’t tap tha toes together instead of the heels? Not a normal motion, is it? Couldn’t really be done accidentally.”

“That…that’s worth investigating, lad. I mean, Tristan. I’ll look into that immediately.” Merlin looks nervous, and he drops everything he’s holding in his haste to get past Eggsy. “Fuck.” He bends down to start cleaning up.

“Merlin,” Eggsy says softly, and Merlin slowly stands up. “It’s…it’s good to have you back.”

“Good to be back. Glad things went well with you in Bolivia.” Merlin hesitates, then holds out his hand for Eggsy to shake. Eggsy takes it, but uses it to pull Merlin into a hug. He feels himself stiffen; as much as he’s trying to relax he just can’t. Merlin holds him close for a brief second. “I am very very sorry, Eggsy. I wish I could just say “it wasn’t me” and have everything be fixed, but I know that’s not how it works. I’ll spend my life making it up to you.”

“Not necessary,” Eggsy says, pulling away. “An apology is quite enough.”

“All right then.” Merlin looks as if he wants to say more but decides against it. “I’ll go.” He quickly picks up his things and leaves.

Eggsy falls into a chair with a sigh. “Well, THAT wasn’t awkward at all.”

“Baby steps,” Harry says softly. He takes Eggsy’s hand and kisses it. “I know it was hard for you. I also know he desperately wanted to say more and held back.”

“I don’t need ta hear more, ‘arry.” 

It’s Harry’s turn to sigh. “Dr. Walmer and James both feel he’s responding very well to the antidote. It seems that everything’s out of his system.”

“That’s good.” 

“You said something about lunch?”

“I’m not really that hungry, ‘arry. I’m just gonna go.” He quickly kisses Harry as he stands. “Love you.”

 

Harry hopes that time will heal all wounds, and Merlin and Eggsy will find the relationship they’d had before. The only problem is that they are both completely uncooperative with his hopes and plans. When in the same room for work-related issues, they’re polite and professional and get the job done. In a more casual setting, if one is there and the other one arrives, one of them finds a reason to leave. It starts to affect Harry, who’s desperately trying to rebuild his relationship with Merlin without it affecting his marriage to Eggsy. He finally breaks down after two weeks of everyone walking on eggshells.

“I’m leaving Eggsy,” he tells Merlin one day as they work in Merlin’s office. Merlin drops his mug of tea and it shatters on the floor.

“You’re WHAT?”

“I’m leaving him. I’ve decided that the way he’s treating you is shite, and I cannot handle it any longer. Perhaps I could stay with you for a few days.”

“NO! No, you can’t!” Merlin says in horror. “You…you two are made for each other, Harry. I’m nothing. I’m just your friend. He’s too perfect for you. You deserve happiness with him.”

“So you think he’s good for me?”

“The best. Jesus, Harry.”

“So why are you terrified of him? Why do you act like a scared little girl every time you’re within touching distance of him?”

“Because…because I hurt him and I don’t know what to do.”

“You hurt me and we’ve worked it out, for the most part.”

“I didn’t say such horrible things to you.” Merlin hangs his head.

“Actually, you did. You told me every frightening thought I’ve had regarding my relationship with Eggsy ever since we got together. You voiced my worst fears. And yet here we are.”

“I’m so sorry, Harry. I didn’t realize…”

“Of course not. I don’t have emotions, remember? At least not any that I allow most people to see. I’m not leaving him, Merlin. I just wanted to see how you’d react. I’m not asking you to sit on his lap and kiss him or anything, but just, try to be what you always were. His friend. It’s been killing me watching you two like this.”

“I promise I will.” Merlin gives Harry a quick hug. 

 

“I’m putting a proposal in front of the Table asking for Merlin’s resignation.”

“You’re what?” Eggsy drops his shoe on his foot and curses as it hits his toe.

“I believe it’s time for him to go. I don’t think he’s able to properly do the job any longer. He’s earned a nice long retirement…cocktails with umbrellas and all that.”

“He fuckin’ hates those kinda drinks,” Eggsy says. “Yer sendin’ him out ta pasture? Ya said he was doin’ well!”

“He was, but if he is continuing to cause problems with the agents, I cannot allow it to go on.”

“What agents?” Harry gives him a look. “I don’t gotta problem with ‘im, ‘arry! We’re polite an’ professional, an’ he’s Merlin. He gets it all done.”

“So you treat him like you always have?”

“Gettin’ there.”

“You do realize I’m in the middle of all this, correct? I have to watch you two act like idiots.”

“M’sorry,” Eggsy says softly. “I’m tryin’ ta let it go, I am, swear down. Just…hurts.”

“I hate to use this phrase, my darling, and I rarely think this way about you…but grow up a little bit. You know it wasn’t him, you know he didn’t mean it, and he’s trying desperately to make you trust him again. You may never be the friends you were, but you can be friends.”

“That was harsh, ‘arry.”

“And for the record, I’m not taking anything to the Table. I was just trying to gauge your reaction.”

“Tosser.”

 

Things improve slightly, but thankfully there’s no reason for them to be thrown together very often. Harry suggests having Merlin over for dinner, but Eggsy quickly finds excuses why it won’t work. He’s more comfortable with Harry and Merlin spending time together, but doesn’t find a reason to join in. Merlin at least does what Harry’s asked of him. He relaxes more, tries to just do his job and do it well, and makes gentle overtures of friendship towards Eggsy when he has the chance.

Harry stares at the mission file in front of him. Eggsy needs to go to Morocco. MI-6 has asked for assistance in retrieving a set of blueprints, and any other Kingsman who could do the job is already out in the field. Merlin’s fully in charge of his section now although he allows Penelope to do more than he used to. It’s a complicated mission; a lot of things have already gone tits up, and Harry needs Merlin’s hand on everything they can touch.

He touches his glasses. “Merlin, could you come to my office?” He then calls down to the garage, where Eggsy’s said he was going to assist Tor. “Yes, hello. Could you please tell Tristan to report to my office immediately?” He gets up and makes tea as he waits.

Merlin arrives first. “Everything all right, Harry?”

“Yes, of course.” He hands Merlin a cup and offers him a seat. Merlin sits, confused.

Eggsy hurries in the door. “Sorry, Arthur, ran as fast as I could. Oh. Merlin.” Eggsy nods at him.

“Please have tea and sit, Tristan. We don’t have much time. MI-6 has asked for our help. They’re concerned about information held in a fortress in Morocco, blueprints for a vehicle that could be very dangerous if in the wrong hands. I need you to go in, Tristan, and get those blueprints.”

“Course. When?”

“I defer to Merlin on that. I know you’ve been aware of this situation, Merlin, but I just realized now that Tristan is the one we must send in.”

Merlin taps at his clipboard. “I’d say wheels up in six.”

Eggsy nods. “Got it, mate.” He stands up. 

“Sit back down, Tristan, I’m not finished.” Eggsy slowly sits. “From this moment on, in this conversation, I am Arthur. I’m not your best friend, and I’m not your husband. Am I clear?” They both nod. “Merlin, I need to know that you will handle Tristan and guide him as a Kingsman agent. Not as someone you owe a debt to, or someone that Harry Hart desperately loves. Can you make me that promise?”

“Yes, of course, Arthur.”

“I mean it. You will not hesitate to do whatever is required for the mission. Understood?”

“Yes.”

“Tristan.” Harry turns to Eggsy, his heart melting just as it does every time he looks at him. “You will move beyond whatever is holding you back mentally regarding Merlin. This is a serious mission and I need you with us one hundred percent.”

“Of course, Arthur.”

“Whatever his feelings were towards me, you will ignore that and…”

“Permission to interrupt,” Eggsy says quickly and doesn’t wait for an answer. “Want it on record here that I don’t have a problem with the feelings he thought he had for you.” His accent is crisp and posh. “I know that was caused by chemicals in his brain. My problem is what was said. I am still getting over that. But I know for a fact that Merlin is the best person who has EVER held the name of Merlin, and he puts Kingsman over everyone else. I would never dishonor that.”

“Good, then.” Harry sighs. “Wheels up in six. Tristan, I would appreciate it if you would return to my office as soon as possible once you’re ready.”

“Yes, sir.” Eggsy nods and leaves.

Merlin looks at Harry. “I knew it.”

“Not now, Merlin. Please prepare.” Merlin nods as well and leaves. Harry sighs, falling back into his chair and closing his eyes.

 

When Eggsy returns to Harry’s office three hours later, he’s sitting on the edge of his desk, glasses off, rubbing at his temples. “May I come in?”

Harry looks at him and smiles. “My darling boy. Of course. Lock the door behind you, if you would.”

Eggsy comes in and closes the door. “Ya know, I always think yer fuckin’ fit, but I think ya got a bit greyer since ya became Arthur.” Eggsy gently runs his fingers through Harry’s hair.

“No. I’ve gotten greyer since I fell in love with you.” Harry kisses him sweetly. “I hope you don’t mind spending these last few hours with me before you go.”

“No, please, don’t make me spend time with you,” Eggsy says in a dull tone. “Take off yer jacket luv.” Harry removes it and hangs it up. “C’mere.” He pushes Harry into a chair and begins to massage Harry’s shoulders.

“Fuck I love your hands,” Harry groans. 

“Just gonna keep it like this, all right? Luv touchin’ ya in naughty ways, but I want ya to remember my hands lovin’ yer body.” He digs his thumbs in.

“Keep that up and I might just marry you.” Harry drops his head.

“Gotta secret,” Eggsy whispers. “M’already married.”

“Is that so? To what sort of lady?”

“Gentleman,” Eggsy corrects. “The best sort. He’s brilliant. He’s educated. He’s witty. He’s so kind. He’s handsome. He’s posh. He’s dirty.”

“Posh?”

“Frightfully so,” Eggsy says in his best accent. “First time I saw him he about took my breath away. Don’t know what he sees in me.”

“It sounds like you are a very lucky man.”

“The luckiest.” Eggsy rolls Harry’s chair back so he can drape onto his lap. “An’ I love him more than anythin’ in the world.”

“I love you, too, my boy.” Harry kisses him, cupping his face in his large hand. “Come back safe.”

“I will. Promise.” He removes his ring. “Take good care of this, or my husband might just kill me.”

“I will. Promise.” Harry kisses him again.

 

Harry tries to stay out of Merlin’s department when Eggsy leaves. It’s not like he oversees every mission personally, and it really does more harm than good. He gets to sit and listen to Merlin yell at Eggsy, yell at his staff, and finally yell at him. It’s like old times.

“WHY are you here, Arthur? Do you think I don’t know how to do my job? He’s not even at the fortress yet and won’t be for hours. Why don’t you go home? Kiss your dog.”

“My dog is here at the kennel. There’s no way I would leave Eliza at home when I know I’ll be here for…”

“I don’t care right now, Arthur. Go back to your office or I will tell your husband about the time in New Zealand when you were locked in a room and gave the villains a strip show to convince them to release you.”

Merlin’s staff stare at Harry. “That did NOT happen!”

“It did not. But he doesn’t know that. And I will MAKE him believe it did.”

“Fine. Bastard.” 

Harry stomps off in a huff. Well, he really doesn’t stomp off; he IS Arthur, after all. But he holds himself in such a way that everyone KNOWS he’d be stomping, if it were permitted. He rebels a bit and doesn’t go to his office. Instead he goes to visit Eliza, and spends over an hour playing with her and a few of the other dogs. He feels a little better when he kisses her and tells her that Da and Daddy love her, and Uncle Merlin, too.

A call comes into his glasses when he’s on his way back. “I’m sorry, Harry. I didn’t mean to throw you out. I’m just a little tense; there’s so much we don’t know about this entire thing. MI-6 doesn’t always believe in full disclosure.”

“I understand. I’m sorry if you felt I was looking over your shoulder.”

“Come on back and look over it all you like. You’re Arthur, you belong wherever you want.”

“I’ll be there after I get something to eat. Thank you, Merlin.” 

Harry gets himself something to eat, packed to carry out. He also orders something light for Merlin, as he knows the man rarely eats when overseeing a big mission. When he comes back to Merlin’s department, he’s the only one there. “Ah, Harry. Is that fish and chips?”

“It is. And you will eat it if you value your job here.”

“Smells so good I cannot say no.” Merlin unwraps it and takes a few bites. “Tristan, destination should be coming up over the next hill.”

“I see it. Dark all over…very little light.”

“Use that to your advantage, I’d say.” Merlin looks at Harry and clicks a few buttons. He motions to him.

“How was your trip, Agent Tristan?” Harry asks.

“Arthur!” Eggsy says in surprise. “Didn’t expect to hear from you.”

“Well, I thought I’d spend time with my best friend since my husband is out of town,” Harry says. “House is very empty without him.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Eggsy says and Harry can hear the smile in his voice. “Oh, wait…lights on in the east wing.”

“The office with the blueprints is on the southwest corner, bottom floor,” Merlin says. “Bit of a maze, but I can guide you through it.”

“Fair enough. I’ll let you know when I’m close.”

“MI-6 has some men undercover, said that they were having some sort of big meeting tonight. The meeting is on the northeast side of the property, so you should go undiscovered.”

“Copy.”

Harry sits back in his chair and eats his sandwich. He loves when Merlin’s working with a talented agent, because their teamwork is almost like a flawless dance. Merlin clicks a button so he can hear Eggsy but Eggsy can’t hear him. “Make a decision about your anniversary trip?”

“No…and the longer we wait the more difficult it will be to book something. We just can’t make up our minds.”

“I’m close, Merlin.”

Merlin turns his comm back on. “All right. If you go down the main corridor there is an office on the right. Double doors. There’s a locked drawer in the desk.”

“Lock-picking. Haven’t done that in for-fucking-ever.”

“I do so love when he reminds us of his less than stellar past,” Harry says with a sigh.

“C’mon bruv, ya know ya love me for my talents.” Eggsy’s smirking and Harry knows it. “Fuck, this place is a maze. Do ya see all that junk in the hall? Someone could get hurt,” he says in a teasing tone. His glasses feed shows random stacks of boxes and crates lining the hallway. “Got the door. Sometimes the middle of nowhere is the best place for a mission. No high-tech gadgets. Easy lock on the door, and…” They hear him scratching at something. “Drawer is open.”

“Notebook on the bottom and the thumb drive underneath.”

“Got it.” 

“Extraction will be there in fifteen. Don’t go back the way you came; head down the corridor. There’s an exit into the warehouse and you can get out there.”

“Roger. Thank you. Ya know, Arthur, I…” Harry jumps up as he hears scuffling and gunshots. “FUCK!”

“Report, Tristan,” Merlin snaps. 

“Apparently quite a few agents did NOT attend the big meeting. I’m counting at least twelve, plus the two I just shot.”

“Go back down the hall, Tristan.”

They hear a large wailing sound. “An’ there goes tha alarm. Fuckin’ BEAUTIFUL. I can get through the warehouse, I THINK I got enough ammo.”

“That is not required, Tristan. Go back the way you came. I didn’t want you to do that, because the warehouse was easier, but…”

“Merlin, I can…”

“Turn around, Tristan!”

“Sweet Jesus!” They hear Eggsy gasp. 

“Report, Agent Tristan. That is an ORDER,” Harry growls.

“They…they started a fire in the corridor,” he says almost weakly. “Can’t go back.”

“Fire?” Harry whispers, feeling himself go pale. His worst nightmare, playing out right in front of him. “Merlin…”

Merlin’s fingers fly over his keyboard. “Tristan, go throw a lighter grenade into the warehouse to stop those men from getting to you. And then I’m going to need you to go through that fire to the office door on your right. This section of the building is newer, and the explosion shouldn’t take it down. You can get out the window in that room.”

“Are ya fuckin’ kiddin’ me?” Eggsy almost screeches. “The flames are taller than I am.”

“If you run fast enough, you can do your stupid parkour shite and jump from the boxes over most of the flames.”

“Merlin, wait,” Harry says desperately. “There must be another way. I know you said you were to treat him like any other agent…”

“I am NOT runnin’…”

“Agent Tristan, I cannot believe we are going through this again.” Merlin’s voice is like steel. “I am God in your ear, and you obey me.”

“Well excuse tha fuck outta me if I no longer have much faith in tha God in my ear!” Eggsy yells. Harry winces. Merlin stares at the screen, watching the flames through Eggsy’s glasses. He swallows deeply but doesn’t say anything. “Merlin, I…”

“Agent Tristan, hold your position for one second.” Harry looks at Merlin. “Isn’t there another way?”

Merlin slowly reaches into his desk drawer and pulls out a handgun. He slowly brings it up and puts it to the side of his head and Harry suddenly can’t breathe. “Agent Tristan, there’s currently a loaded gun to my head,” he says calmly.

“Jesus fuck, Merlin!” Harry gasps.

“What the fuck? Why are ya puttin’ a gun to his head, ‘arry...I mean, Arthur?” Eggsy gasps.

“I’m not. He’s done it to himself,” Harry whispers.

“Harry, if you touch me I will pull this trigger,” Merlin says quietly and Harry knows he means it. “Agent Tristan, I am asking you to trust me. I think you can make this jump with very little injury. It could hurt, you could get burned. But I believe you will live. If you do not do as I ask, I will pull this trigger. If you do it and do not survive…I will pull this trigger.” He clicks off the safety and cocks the gun.

“Merlin, please. I am ORDERING you to put the gun down.”

“If he doesn’t do what I say, he dies. And if he doesn’t do it, it’s all because of what I did to him…what I said. And if he does it and it kills him, it’s also my fault. I will have failed him.” Merlin takes a deep breath. “Eggsy, I am asking you with everything I have to please trust me, this one time.”

“I love you, ‘arry,” Eggsy whispers. “Forever.” They watch him press the button on the lighter and throw it behind him. They get a view of him taking a few deep breaths and running towards the flames. The camera in his glasses wobbles a bit as he jumps from box to box and vaults through the flames. They hear the grunt and the shout as he hits the floor, and then there is no motion, no sound except the explosion behind him.


	19. Chapter 19

NINETEEN

Harry’s body knows to breathe, but he’s not sure he remembers how to do it. His lungs feel like they’re ready to explode as they watch and wait for a sign from Eggsy. “Tristan…Tristan, report,” Merlin barks, the gun still pressed to his temple. “Tristan.”

Eggsy starts coughing. “Fuck this floor is hard.” The feed in his glasses is hazy as smoke fills the corridor. He coughs again. “Which door?”

“On you right.”

“Agent Tristan, are you injured?” Harry asks. He can’t help it.

“Twisted my knee a bit when I jumped, but nothin’ serious. May have sprained my wrist; caught m’self as I went down instead of tuckin’ an’ rollin. Knew better than that.” He sounds ashamed of himself. “Quartermaster, ya may want ta look into tha fact that Kingsman Oxfords are shite fer parkour.”

“I will do that, Agent Tristan. Can you get yourself to the window and out of the building? Can you make it to the rendezvous site?”

“I think I can. I’m gonna go quiet until I get there.”

“Affirmative.”

“Thank you, Merlin.”

“You’re welcome, Agent Tristan.” Merlin slowly puts the gun down and applies the safety.

“Get someone to take over the rest of this mission, Merlin, and join me in my office immediately.” Harry gets to his feet and glares at Merlin.

“Yes, Arthur.”

By the time Merlin knocks on his door fifteen minutes later, Harry has moved from anger to absolute fury. “What the fuck was that?”

“Which part, sir?” Merlin sits without being asked.

“All of it. And don’t call me sir. Don’t patronize me.” Harry begins to pace. 

“Are you angry because of what I asked of him, or because of the gun?”

“The gun, you bastard! You saved his life. You told him to do something and got him out of there. You did your job. How could I be angry about that? I asked you to forget that he was anything other than Agent Tristan, and you did. You evaluated every option and chose the one that got him out safely.” He stops and points in Merlin’s face. “Threatening suicide was probably NOT the best way to do it, and completely unacceptable.”

“Threatening suicide? Threatening? That wasn’t a threat, Harry. I would have done it and you know it. And it wasn’t some sort of “oh I can’t go on” cry for help. You heard him. He cannot trust me when he needs to. I ruined the professional relationship between Merlin and Tristan. Merlin and Eggsy may never be healed. But he can no longer take orders from me because he cannot trust me. And as always, I can never be one hundred percent sure that my decisions as a handler will actually work. If he died because he didn’t listen to me, I would have failed him, and failed you.”

“The gun was completely over the top.”

“What more did I have left?” Merlin asked helplessly, and Harry feels some of his anger drain away. 

“This will never happen again.”

“No, it won’t, because I will not be his handler again. I cannot have this happen again, perhaps in an instance where I have only one way to save him and he won’t trust me.”

“Fair enough.” Harry falls into his chair and closes his eyes. “Fuck.”

“I agree.”

Harry opens his eyes. “Thank you for saving my husband’s life, Merlin.”

“Just doing my job.” 

Harry watches Merlin. His head has dropped back and his eyes are closed. He clenches and unclenches his fists. “When’s the last time you had a good night’s sleep?”

“About a week before that blasted drug came into this building.”

“Go lay down. That’s an order. Go to your suite and…”

“I won’t go to the suite. I was caged there for days. I’m not quite ready to spend time there.”

“Understood.”

Merlin stands up. “I’ll be in my office. Sofa’s quite comfortable there.”

Harry stands as well. “I’ll leave word for you to not be disturbed.” He hugs Merlin before Merlin can move away. “I forgive you.”

“What?”

He pulls away and looks Merlin in the eye. “I forgive you, Merlin. I forgive you for the things you did while under the influence of that toxin, and I forgive you for every word you said to me.”

“You can’t. You said I voiced every fear you had about your marriage.”

“I’ve voiced those fears to myself dozens of times. You saying them was nothing new. I forgive you.”

“But…”

“I forgive you. Do you understand me? I realized that I told you everything was all right between us, but I have never told you I forgive you. I forgive you.” Harry puts his forehead against Merlin’s. “Start forgiving yourself.”

 

The flight from Casablanca to London takes about three hours, and Eggsy spends most of it sitting in a chair and staring out the window, leg constantly bouncing. He’s high on adrenaline and absolutely fury. The medical team on the jet confirmed his theory on his left wrist; it’s sprained and requires a bandage for support. They ice his knee and put a salve and bandage on a small burn on his left calf. Harry didn’t need to know about THAT until he was home safe, not with his nightmares about Eggsy burning in a fire.

As soon as he’s back at HQ he makes the required stop at Medical. “Agent Tristan, I think you’re my job security,” Sandi says as soon as he comes through the door. “Although the girls in Wardrobe may not be as pleased to see you.” She fingers the burned leg of his trousers.

“Can’t please everyone,” he says with a tired grin. “Burn, sprained wrist, banged up knee.”

“Yes, I heard.” She confirms everything and rewraps his wrist. “I think you’re good to go. Take what you want for any pain, keep the burn clean and covered for the first few days, and you’ll be fine.”

“Thank you.” 

He heads for Harry’s office, smiling as he knocks and hears a tired voice say, “Enter.” Even though the hour is late, he knows better than to think Harry would have gone home without him.

“It’s Agent Tristan, sir.”

“Get your gorgeous arse in here,” Harry growls as he throws the door open and drags him in. He slams the door and presses Eggsy against it. “Oh, my darling boy, are you all right?” He gives Eggsy a passionate kiss before stepping back. “My poor boy.” He gently kisses the bandaged wrist and gasps as he looks down further and sees the tattered trouser leg. “What is THAT?”

“I have a little burn. A SMALL burn,” Eggsy says. “It’s fine, will heal on its own, no grafts or major surgeries required, ‘arry. Not on my face, everything’s fine.”

“Are you sure?” Harry anxiously looks at Eggsy’s face, gently touching his chin, his nose, his cheeks, his lips. 

“I’m sure. Now would you be so kind as ta call Merlin in here?”

“Eggsy…”

“NOW, ‘arry.”

Harry sighs and touches his glasses. “Merlin, would you be so kind as to come to my office? As you can see, Agent Tristan has returned.”

“On my way.”

“Let him talk, Eggsy,” Harry says. He holds up his hands. “That’s all I’m going to say.” He sits down behind his desk.

Merlin knocks and enters the room. “Agent Tristan. I’m so glad to see you back safely.”

“Thanks to you. I’m grateful.” Eggsy walks over and punches Merlin in the jaw.

“Agent Tristan!” Harry bellows.

“It’s all right, Harry,” Merlin says, rubbing at his chin.

“What tha fuck did ya think you were doin’? How DARE you pull somethin’ like that in front of ‘arry. He’s yer supposed best friend an’ ya pull stupid shite like that?”

“It wasn’t about Harry, Eggsy, it was about you.”

“Fuck that. I didn’t make it, ya blew yer brains out, an’ where does that leave him? All alone. No husband ta cry on when he buries his best friend, the man who is MORE than a friend. No best friend ta lean on at his husband’s grave. That was so fuckin’ stupid. An’ the worst part of it…for what? For me? I’m an agent. I’m expendable.”

“Eggsy!” Harry gasps.

“Harry, I love you but stay tha fuck outta this if ya know what’s good for ya,” Eggsy almost hisses. “Not yer fight right now.”

“Expendable? You’re expendable?” Merlin gapes at him. “No agent on my watch is expendable, Eggsy.”

“Well, let’s talk about what you REALLY think. Ya said it that day, didn’t ya? I’m a stupid kid from the estates who shoulda never been an agent. Someone who can only hurt ‘arry. An’ today I proved it, didn’t I?” Eggsy’s ready to pull out all the stops, to release the anger and the fear and the worthlessness he’s been feeling for what seems like months.

“I’ve been TRYING to talk to you about this for weeks, Eggsy, and you continually avoided the topic. Am I permitted to talk to you about it now? GOOD.” Merlin pulls himself to his full height and looks down at Eggsy, who actually cowers ever so slightly. “I said some terrible things to you. Horrible things. Things that I did not mean. Not one bit. I know I said them, and you could say, well, they were in there somewhere, but I assure you they weren’t.” Merlin pauses. “Agent, I know you want to get in my face and perhaps hit me again, but I’m going to ask that while I speak you sit. You’ve been through a lot in the last twelve hours or so, and I’m sure your husband would prefer you not injuring yourself further.”

“Fine,” Eggsy snaps, not admitting to himself that he’s grateful. He sits on the sofa.

“I was blessed enough to be asked by my best friend…no. You were right. I don’t know what the term would be for Harry, but I would consider him more than a best friend. A platonic husband, if you will. We’ve seen each other through many serious life events, literal life and death situations. We’ve laughed and cried together. That man asked me to not only be the best man at the wedding to someone I never thought he’d find – prayed for but never really believed he’d find – but also to say kind words at another ceremony. And I meant everything I said at that ceremony. You are his Excalibur. You’re his Guinevere. You’re everything that has completed the empty parts of him. God blessed all of us the day you walked into his life, Eggsy Unwin-Hart, and I will shout that to the rooftops with my dying breath.” Eggsy finds the fury and anger slowly draining out of him, because the look on Merlin’s face is one of complete sincerity. “I’ve grown to care about you as well, for all my gruff demeanor. You’re almost like a little brother to me, one I never really asked for. I don’t have family to speak of, as you know it’s hard keeping all your stories straight all of the time. You and Harry, you’re my family. I consider you a very special person in my life. We saved the world together, for Christ’s sake.”

“Yeah,” Eggsy admits in a small voice. “Not many people can say that.”

“I told Harry this, and I’ll tell you. I never thought that there was anything romantic in any feelings I have for Harry, or I never would have taken that injection. I still don’t think there is. If there’s something there…it’s small, it’s old, and it’s nothing that ever would have reared its head except for that chemical. And now I need to live with that bad decision for the rest of my life. A lot of that time was hazy, but I can remember what I said that night very clearly. It’s like I knew at the time I shouldn’t be saying it, but my feelings for Harry were so strong that it didn’t matter. I remember telling him that you were horrible for him. I remember telling my best friend that the man he’d wrapped his heart around would only hurt him and leave him. I remember standing and telling you that you were a slut who was only using Harry until something better came along, that you were nothing. And now every night I hear myself saying that as I lay and try to sleep. And worst of all, I see your face as I say it.” Eggsy closes his eyes at the pain and guilt in Merlin’s voice. 

“Merlin, you don’t…”

“Harry, be quiet,” Merlin says calmly. “I’ve done a lot of things to a lot of people. I’ve maimed, I’ve murdered. But I have never watched someone’s face reflect their heart breaking…until you. I suppose I never knew how special I apparently was to YOU, how much YOU respected ME. But I knew it that night, when you looked at me as I tore your world apart. It the most shameful memory I will ever have.” Merlin takes a shuddering breath. “I accused of you of something more with Alan. I know that you would rather cut out your heart than cheat on Harry. I accused you of being an embarrassment. One of the best things Harry has EVER done was bring you to Kingsman, because you belong here with these other honorable men.” Merlin sighs. “And speaking of being a Kingsman…today you were not able to trust me and it almost got you killed. I will no longer be acting as your handler. Someone else can take care of you in the field, because I will not allow you to put yourself in harm’s way on my account. You were right, though, I did not think about Harry when I picked up that gun. I was only thinking of you and how I’d wronged you.” Merlin comes over and actually kneels before Eggsy. “I am so very sorry, Eggsy. I cannot make amends. I cannot find an excuse. I can only apologize. You are an exceptional human being, and I tried my damnedest to make you feel common. And you are not. You never will be.” He looks at Harry. “I apologize for tonight, Harry. I was not thinking, and if you wish to bring action towards me as Arthur, I understand and accept it.” When he looks back at Eggsy, his eyes are wet. “I’m very sorry, lad.”

“Merlin…” Suddenly Eggsy’s voice does not seem to work, and he figures it’s because his heart is in his throat. “You…you haven’t called me lad in a long time.”

“I haven’t deserved to.”

“Fuck, Merlin.” Eggsy sniffles, wiping at his eyes. “You…you don’t have to carry this guilt. It wasn’t yer fault. It wasn’t anythin’ ya meant ta happen.”

“It wasn’t,” Merlin agrees. “But it didn’t stop you from hating me for it, did it?”

Eggsy sorrowfully shakes his head. “I’m sorry I didn’t let ya tell me how ya felt. This must’ve been killin’ ya.”

“Aye,” Merlin agrees. 

“I’m sorry I told ya I didn’t have faith in ya in my ear,” Eggsy whispers. “That was wrong.”

“It was the truth,” Marlin corrects. “You’re allowed to not trust me.”

“Not after today. I shoulda trusted ya no matter what…yer job at Kingsman has always been most important to you. But now…fuck, Merlin.” Eggsy hesitates, then gently places his hands on the back of Merlin’s neck. He pulls him forward and kisses the top of his head. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t help you get past all this. We were all sufferin’ for different reasons. Yer not a monster, yer not anythin’ but a human being. An’ I accept yer apology…an’ I forgive ya.” He pulls Merlin into an embrace, not trying to stop the tears that were running down his cheeks. “An’ please don’t ever pull a stupid trick like ya did t’night. If I’m not expendable, you certainly ain’t.”

“Lad…I promise. Never again.” Merlin fists his hands in Eggsy’s coat.

“An’ ya damn well better be in my ear for every mission ya think is necessary. I only want tha best.”

“If it’s what you want, Eggsy. I already told Arthur to pull me out of your future missions, however.”

They both look at Harry, who’s obviously been crying as well. “I fucking hate the both of you. I hate you. I don’t cry in front of more than one person. Ever.”

“You did at our wedding,” Eggsy pointed out.

“That’s different. I couldn’t help it. You were promising to be mine forever and only a fucking statue could have kept a dry eye.”

“Arthur, I formally request that Merlin be reinstated for any mission I would need him on.”

“Request granted. You both owe me so much for all this.” They all stand and Merlin hugs Harry as Eggsy puts his hand on the small of Harry’s back. “Dinner…the three of us.”

“Fair enough,” Merlin says.

“You’ve put me through hell. Dinner at the Round Table, a bottle of Macallan, your choice from a list I will provide…”

“Fuck,” Merlin murmurs, covering his eyes. 

Eggsy moves behind Harry and hugs him. “What about me?”

“You’ll get your payback list later,” Harry tells him, wiggling back against him a bit. “When you’re all better from the burn you tried not telling me about.”

“Burn?” Merlin jumps back and stares at him. “What burn?”

Harry snickers. “It’s barely anything,” Eggsy protests. Merlin looks at Harry, who points one finger down. Merlin drops to his hands and knees to investigate.

“I bet you like the sight of him down there,” Harry barely breathes in Eggsy’s ear.

“I hate you,” Eggsy says savagely.

“You’ve been a naughty boy. You shouldn’t frighten your husband that way,” Merlin says as he stands.

“I shouldn’t do a lot of things I do.”

“Tell me something I don’t already know.” Merlin rolls his eyes. “I’ll take us to dinner wherever you’d like, Harry, but are you sure the Round Table is what you want?”

Eggsy looks at Merlin, who seems very uncomfortable. “Something I should know?”

“It’s where I first told Harry I thought you were wrong for him,” Merlin mumbles.

“No. It’s a restaurant owned by an ex-Kingsman with amazing food and an incredible bar. I told him I was bringing my husband to eat there, and I’m going to. And my best friend is buying. And that’s ALL that place will ever be from now on. Is that clear, Merlin?”

Merlin nods. “Yes, Harry.”

“Good.” He puts his finger in Merlin’s face. “Go home and go to bed. That’s an order. And you…” Harry points at Eggsy. “Be ready to leave in ten minutes. I’m exhausted.”

“YOU’RE exhausted? You didn’t fuckin’ parkour through a burnin’ building!”

Harry rolls his eyes. “Say goodbye to Merlin, Eggsy.”

“Goodnight, Merlin.” Eggsy hugs him. “I’ve missed you. Please go home and get some real sleep.”

“I think I might be able to for once. I’ve missed you, too, lad.”


	20. Chapter 20

TWENTY

Eggsy falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow and sleeps soundly for what seems like forever. He stays that way until about four in the morning, when he feels Harry shivering so violently it pulls him from his deep sleep. “Luv?”

“Eggsy…Merlin, don’t let him go…” Harry mumbles.

Eggsy slowly sits up rubbing at his eyes and trying to fully awaken. He really isn’t surprised that Harry’s having a nightmare; he figured something like this would happen after the whole fire thing. “Luv,” Eggsy whispers again. He gently rubs Harry’s bare arm. Harry throws it away.

“I hate you…you made him burn…” 

Eggsy winces. He lays back down, curling himself around Harry. “I’m right here, ‘arry. C’mon, handsome, wake up.” He kisses Harry’s bicep. “Right here. Home safe. Merlin brought me home.”

Harry gasps for breath and stills in Eggsy’s embrace. “Eggsy?”

“Hello there.” Eggsy wiggles around a bit until Harry’s resting on his chest. He’s still shaking. Eggsy kisses the top of his head. “I got ya, ‘arry. Got ya an’ I’m safe.”

“My boy.” Harry squeezes him tightly. “I’m sorry. The fire…”

“I know. I know ya had ta see it through my glasses, an’ I’m not surprised this happened. Maybe ya need ta talk ta Dr. Walmer about it.”

“No, I’m fine. I haven’t had a nightmare in forever.” His hands smooth over Eggsy’s skin, feather light touches kissing Eggsy’s body.

“If yer sure.” Eggsy bites his bottom lip.

“I’m sure. Quit frowning.”

“Ya can’t see my face.”

“I can hear it in your voice, and I do know you quite well, by the way.”

Eggsy snorts and feels Harry smile against his chest. “Okay, Mister Know It All…do ya know when I first realized I loved ya?”

“The moment you met me.”

Eggsy laughs so hard Harry has to move off his chest. “Well, that’s not an ego killer at all.”

“M’sorry, luv. Aw, ‘arry. Don’t be mad. C’mere.” He yanks Harry back down against him. “M’sorry. Just…yer so adorable.”

“I am NOT adorable.” 

“I thought you was sexy an’ fit tha first time I met you. But I realized I felt more than that when you was in the coma, after the whole Professor Arnold brain explosion thing.” He feels Harry stiffen at the memory. He strokes Harry’s strong back, loving the feel of the muscles under his fingers. “You didn’t wake up for so long. Merlin was fuckin’ aces, lettin’ me come in an’ sit with ya when I had tha time. Wasn’t supposed to, but he did.”

“Because he’s always had a soft spot for you.”

“Hardly,” Eggsy says. “Remind me sometime ta tell ya about when he asked me ta whisper in his ear. Anyway…I was busy with tha whole recruitment thing…an’ you an’ I didn’t get ta see each other much anyway, but I realized that I missed ya. I missed ya when ya weren’t there. Each time I saw ya, I lived on the memories for days, replayed it in my mind. I was so afraid when you was in that coma, ‘arry.”

“I know the feeling.” Harry kisses Eggsy’s chest. “When you were in the coma…the last time we’d spoken we fought.”

“Harry.” Eggsy tilts his face up and kisses him for a long time. “Ya woke up, an’ you was standin’ there in yer old lady dressin’ gown with that long hair. Thank God Merlin came along, because I was so damn close ta sayin’ somethin’.”

“Everything happened in the right time, Eggsy.”

“I know.” He sighs, leaning his head against Harry’s. “Nothin’ goes easy for us, does it?”

“It seems that way. But I believe we’re due for something good in our lives. We have our anniversary coming up.”

“Fuck.” Eggsy groans.

“You forgot?”

“Of course not! I just…haven’t gotten time ta shop for ya.”

“I don’t need things, Eggsy.”

“So…you’re telling me the mysterious pile of bags in your office closet isn’t gifts for me?”

“Why were you in my office closet?”

“Never you mind,” Eggsy says with a grin. “I just hope that whatever I find is adequate ta show ya how I feel.”

“You show me how you feel all the time.” Harry yawns. “Go back to sleep, Eggsy. I don’t think there will be any more nightmares.” He presses his head to Eggsy’s chest and he feels him smile. “I hear your heartbeat.”

“Yer my heartbeat, ‘arry.”

 

“Merlin, I need yer help.”

Merlin turns in his chair to look at him. “Lad, I cannot hear anything you say until you knock on my door.” He turns back around.

“C’mon, bruv, it’s for ‘arry.” Merlin ignores him and continues reading what’s on his monitor. “For fuck’s sake.” He smiles at the screen as he hears Eggsy get up and leave the office. There’s a knock at his office door, and he waits a good minute before finally pushing the button to open the door. “What tha fuck, Merlin?”

“Manners maketh man, Agent Tristan.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He flops into the chair and sighs. Merlin raises an eyebrow. “Fuck, Merlin, did ‘arry’s silver spoon somehow end up in YER arse today?” He stands back up.

“I’ll make sure and tell him you said that.” Merlin smiles pleasantly. “Please have a seat.”

“Thank you.” Eggsy sits back down. 

“Now, how may I help you?”

“Well, I was thinkin’…” Eggsy stares at Merlin and stops talking. 

“What’s wrong?”

“You’ve been wearin’ that jumper since Tuesday.”

“I like this jumper.” Merlin smooths his hand down the front.

“Yeah, it’s nice, but ya haven’t…did you go home at ALL this week?”

“I was there Monday evening,” Merlin says after some thought. He turns back to his computer. “I’ve been trying to crack this code so we can see if the new software…”

“Fuck tha software.” Eggsy pops up and gets in his face. “At least ya smell clean.”

“I DO have a suite here, Eggsy, and I use the shower quite regularly.”

“Mmm,” Eggsy says vaguely. “Ya need ta go home an’ rest.”

“I sleep on that sofa right there.” 

“Ya need ta go home an’ rest,” Eggsy repeats. “I’m gonna get ya somethin’ ta eat, an’ then yer gonna step away from that fuckin’ machine long enough ta eat it.”

“I can…”

“You will NOT continue ta work while ya eat. If ya don’t do what I say, I will make yer life hell.”

“It’s possible for you to get more annoying than you already are?” Merlin gasps, but he secretly loves the way Eggsy’s fussing over him. It’s a nice feeling.

“Yes. An’ I’ll start by tellin’ ‘arry ya haven’t gone home an’ had a proper sleep in days.”

Suddenly the feeling isn’t so nice. Harry is obviously where Eggsy’s learned to be a mother hen. “Fine. I’ll eat. But until you get back I’m working.” He turns back to his computer.

“Fuck, ya stupid old man. Ya gotta take better care of yerself.” A soft hand squeezes at the back of Merlin’s neck. “Be back in a mo’.”

Merlin smiles when there’s a knock at the door about twenty minutes later. “Please come in.”

Eggsy returns with a bag of food and a determined look on his face. “Jumper off. Vest too.” Merlin glares at him. “I know ya gotta have a change of clothes in here somewhere. An’ if ya don’t, fuck it, ya aren’t wearin’ that one second longer.”

“Jesus,” Merlin says, but he stands and pulls off the sweater and jumper. 

“Jesus,” he hears Eggsy echo and he turns around. Eggsy’s eyes are glued to Merlin’s naked torso and he licks his lips. “Uh…fuck, Merlin, yer fuckin’ RIPPED.”

“You act like you’ve never seen me without a shirt before, Eggsy.” Merlin feels a blush creep up from his chest to his neck. Eggsy’s blue-green eyes are hungry as they look at him.

“I haven’t,” Eggsy says faintly, and the blush deepens as Merlin realizes he’s right. “I guess ya work out? How many abs do you HAVE?”

“Enough to pin you if we sparred, young man,” Merlin says sternly, trying to lighten the mood. He digs in a drawer and finds a spare vest and different jumper. “Will these do?”

“Yeah,” Eggsy says in a small voice. Part of Merlin is very flattered. Not many men his age would have the body to make a gorgeous man in his twenties speechless.

They jump as they hear voices outside Merlin’s door. Harry and Alan. There’s a knock and Merlin calls out for them to enter. “And I’m telling you that if you don’t find something for me to do, I will be driven to desperate measures,” Alan’s saying as they enter the office. They both freeze at the sight of Merlin without a shirt, eyes moving from him to Eggsy. “Well…I guess you two really have made up. Shall we come back later?”

“Shut up, Alan,” Eggsy snaps. “Hello, luv.”

“Eggsy.” Harry shuts the door and comes over to kiss him. “And I wasn’t invited to this particular party WHY?”

Merlin sighs with relief. Harry obviously isn’t upset or jealous. He actually is looking at Eggsy with amusement. “Your husband just threatened me until I took my jumper off. I feared for my safety, so I did as he asked.”

“You’re such a menace, darling boy.” Harry pinches Eggsy and he yelps, rubbing his backside. Merlin rolls his eyes. The yelp was much louder than it had to be. “I’ll protect you, Merlin. Please feel free to dress.”

“Unless you WANT to waltz around here like that. I’ve no objection,” Alan says with a sly grin.

“Alan, the day I agree to let you touch me is the day I have Harry commit me,” Merlin says, pulling the clean vest over his head.

“You’d rather have someone from that service you frequent? You underestimate my abilities.”

Merlin’s face is beet red when he comes through the neck of his shirt. He’s not exactly ashamed of the fact that he goes to strangers when he has a need, but Alan’s the only one he’s ever told about it. He should’ve known better. Eggsy’s face is also red, he notices, but for a completely different reason.

“Alan, if ya know what is fuckin’ good fer ya, you’ll apologize an’ get the fuck outta my sight.” Eggsy’s voice is like ice, and Merlin blinks at him. “Haven’t worked out in a bit, an’ I have NO problem takin’ it out on you.”

Alan almost looks ashamed. “Well, I can see when I’m not wanted. I apologize if I offended you, Merlin. Harry, if you find something for me, you know how to contact me.” He leaves the room without another word.

Eggsy looks at Merlin and when he speaks all the ice is gone from his tone. “M’sorry he’s a fuckin’ dick, Merlin. It’s cuz of me he even hangs around here so much. I’ve been nice ta him, an’ then he acts like this.”

“He’s a bit like a stray dog,” Harry observes, petting Eggsy a bit to calm him down. “You feed them, let them sleep by your back door, but they still don’t know how to behave.”

“Whatever ya do for yerself isn’t anyone’s business,” Eggsy finishes. He starts unpacking the bag of food.

Merlin’s touched. Ever since they’d talked things out Eggsy had taken special care to look after him, bringing him food, talking to him during his down time. Occasionally it gets a bit annoying; Alan isn’t the only one who acts like a yipping puppy, but Merlin does appreciate it. He’s glad their relationship has grown a bit. “So, you never said what you needed my help with.”

“Oh, it can wait,” Eggsy said, looking at Harry and making a bit of a face behind his back. Ah. A gift for Harry, then.

“And YOU never said why you’re forcing Merlin to strip for you,” Harry says, winking at Merlin.

“Wasn’t quite like THAT,” Eggsy said, turning pink. 

Merlin laughs, pleased that they can tease like this after everything they’ve been through. “It was EXACTLY like that.”

Eggsy shoves the food at him. “Shut up and eat.” He turns to Harry. “Did you know that Merlin hasn’t gone home in days, and he’s been wearin’ tha same jumper since Tuesday?”

“What? Merlin,” Harry growls.

“You two-faced little prick,” Merlin snaps at Eggsy, who smiles cheerfully.

“Since I’m not on duty, I think I’ll go home early. My leg’s hurtin’ a bit.” He rubs the healing burn in an exaggerated fashion. “Call when yer leavin’, ‘arry, so I can have dinner ready.” He gives Harry a quick kiss. “Love you. Merlin, enjoy yer lunch.”

“Next time you have a mission, I’m accidentally dropping you in the middle of the ocean!” Merlin yells after him.


	21. Chapter 21

TWENTY-ONE

“I appreciate you taking the time to come down here, Arthur,” Sandi says as she walks him through Medical. “I know how busy you are.”

“Miss Evans, I am interested in every section of support staff,” Harry tells her. “If it wasn’t for all of you, we couldn’t do our job.”

“The last Arthur said that a lot,” she replied, and Harry winces. “But I believe you in a way I never believed him.”

“Excuse my language, Miss Evans, but the prior Arthur was a total bastard,” Merlin adds.

“I am aware,” she says and both men laugh. “Now…this is what I was talking about.” She leads them into the imaging room. “You’ve both had MRIs at Kingsman, correct?” They nod. “More than one,” she says, looking at Harry. He nods again, a bit sheepishly this time. “I’m sure Agent Tristan is pleased you’re now Arthur, that’s all I’m saying about that.”

“As if he has room to bloody talk,” Merlin murmurs. She hides a smile.

“Do either of you have problems with anxiety? Claustrophobia?” They shake their heads. “As you can imagine, some of the missions can make those type of things flare, even if it’s just a temporary malady.”

“Miss Evans, you’re not saying we don’t have open MRIs…” Harry asks, shocked. 

She shrugs. “The last Arthur…”

“…was a total bastard,” Harry finishes. “Merlin, get on this. Get the best money can buy. Take money from Research and Development.”

“What?” Merlin almost yells. Harry chuckles. 

“A few more things,” Miss Evans says, leading them into another room.

Harry’s phone buzzes and he quickly pulls it out as they walk. _Gotta question, Haz._ Eggsy’s stayed home to take care of things around the house, as he isn’t cleared to go back out on a mission quite yet. 

_I have one minute._

_Have U ever had a 3some?_

Harry chokes on his own spit and stumbles over his own feet. “All right, Arthur?” Merlin asks.

“Yes, fine.” He composes himself and smiles at Miss Evans. “What are we looking at now?”

“The surgical theatre. We could use better lighting in here.”

“I’ll look at it, Arthur. Take care of what you’re doing there.” Merlin gives him an amused look and follows Sandi.

_Where did this come from?_

_Just wondering. It can wait._

It can wait my arse, Harry says to himself. Like anything else will be on his mind now. _It will have to wait. Have you?_

_Course not. U know my history._

_Girls_ , Harry reminds him.

 _Never_ is the immediate response.

_Touring med. Must dash. Love you._

_Luv U Arthur xxxooo_

He gets himself together and joins Merlin and Sandi. Most of her demands are quite reasonable, and he and Merlin won’t have to work too hard to convince the Fiscal department to approve the money. “One more thing, if I could, Arthur?” Sandi asks.

“Yes?”

“As you know, many agents are stuck in here for quite some time, especially those not senior enough to have a suite. We try to keep them entertained, but you know how antsy a normally active agent can get when they’re laid up in bed.” Again she turns an evil eye towards Harry. Merlin hides a laugh in a cough.

“I understand.”

“I was wondering if you’d approve some more interesting ways to keep them occupied.” She goes to a cabinet in one of the recovery rooms and pulls out a coloring book.

“Oh, for God’s sake.” Harry turns red as he recognizes one of the gifts from Alan, an adult coloring book featuring swear words. “I suppose Agent Tristan left that here?”

“Bloody Percival,” Merlin whispers, shaking his head.

“Yes, he did, but please don’t be embarrassed or upset, Arthur. The agent who found this was dealing with depression as well as some physical injuries. He laughed so hard he almost opened a few stitches before asking for markers or colored pencils. I was wondering if it would be all right for us to stock things like art supplies or craft kits. Model cars, things like that. Sometimes working on something small like that can help cure a much larger ill.”

“That sounds like a splendid idea,” Harry says. “Please order whatever you think is appropriate. No limit. And I’m sure Agent Tristan would love to assist you in doing the research. I’ll mention it to him myself.”

“Thank you, sir. That’s all I have, then.”

As they head back toward their offices, Merlin says, “You know we can NEVER let Alan know his gift was helpful.”

“I’ll take the secret to my grave,” Harry vows.

 

“Eliza, you are on my last fuckin’ nerve right now,” Eggsy growls at his beloved dog. “You know what? Yer done.” He scoops her up and deposits her in her crate, locking the gate. “I love ya but yer under my feet one too many times today. Gotta get dinner done. Yer Da will be home soon.” He starts making gravy. “Thanks to YOU, I didn’t get half the shite done I promised him I would. Ya made me take that nap, an’…”

“She MADE you?” A voice says from the direction of the back door. 

Eggsy actually screams. “Jesus fuckin’ CHRIST, Haz! Tha FUCK?”

“You know the back security is quieter than the front.” Harry gives him a pleased smile. “I snuck around back.”

“Apparently,” Eggsy says, annoyed. Harry looks like the cat that ate the canary. “Happy?”

“Immensely.” He comes over to hug Eggsy, who turns his head away. “Oh, my darling boy, don’t be mad.”

“Prick.”

“I love you.” Harry nuzzles at his throat.

“Arse.”

“I adore you.” He breathes on Eggsy’s earlobe.

“Bastard.”

“I cannot live without you.” Harry puts his hands on Eggsy’s waist and rubs against him.

“Dick,” Eggsy scowls, but there’s no heat in his words. “There’s time for ya ta go change.”

“No, I’ll stay down here with you. I missed you today.” He looks down at the crate as Eggsy went back to the stove. “Oh, Miss Eliza, is your Daddy being a mean old man?”

“No. She’s just been all over my feet today. Almost fell over her twice, and I doubt Kingsman medical will treat any injuries sustained at home.”

Harry lets the dog out and picks her up. “She’s probably just happy to have you home all day. I know when I’m with you all day, I want to be all over your feet and everything else.”

“Sap.” But Eggsy’s stomach flips as it always does when Harry says sweet things to him. 

“Speaking of medical, I’ve volunteered you to work with Miss Evans on a project.”

“Bril, ‘arry. Sandi’s fuckin’ aces.”

“She found one of your coloring books in one of the recovery rooms.”

“One of my…oh.” Eggsy turns back around to the stove. 

“She thinks it’s a good idea to have more creative diversions in the rooms, and I agree. I said you’d help her pick them out.”

“Of course! That’s a great idea. She’s genius.”

Harry removes his jacket and cuffs his sleeves before setting the table. He pours them each a glass of lemon water and helps Eggsy dish up their dinner. “Thank you for all this work, my boy. I do appreciate coming home to something like this.”

“And I love doing it for you when I can.” Eggsy stands on tiptoe to kiss him.

They sit down and begin to eat. Eggsy sighs as he looks at Harry. He’s so handsome, the flecks of gold in his tie bringing out his eyes. Eggsy loves when Harry cuffs his sleeves because his eyes are always drawn to the strong forearms. “You’re staring,” Harry says without looking up from his plate.

“You’re beautiful,” Eggsy whispers almost without thinking.

Harry looks up and turns pink. “You’re biased.”

“Probably.” Eggsy smiles at him and starts to cut his meat.

“So. About the text I got today.”

Eggsy’s smile fades. He didn’t know what had gotten into him earlier, but he felt he had to ask Harry that question. Weird things seemed to get on his mind when left to his own devices, and that day had been a very long, very weird day for thoughts. “Oh. Yes. Well, ya don’t have ta answer that question.”

“I will answer it.” Eggsy thinks maybe he doesn’t want to know. “For a mission, yes. Twice. Once with a man and a woman, and once with two women. In my private life, never.”

“Two women?” Eggsy’s mouth falls open. “How…didn’t ya hate it?”

“It was not something I particularly enjoyed,” Harry admits. “But at the time, I had a rather…active…private life, so I drew upon thoughts of that.”

“Alan,” Eggsy grumbles, stabbing at his dinner.

“I thought he was your friend!”

“He is…I just forget sometimes that tha two of ya had bone-breaking sex.”

“We had sex, Eggsy, that’s it. We fucked. Or should I say, he fucked me. I was never permitted to do it to him. He never made love to me.” Harry picks up Eggsy’s hand and begins to gently kiss each knuckle. “He never made me want to make love to only him for the rest of my life.”

“Haz,” Eggsy murmurs.

“So…never for you, then?” Harry continues to eat his dinner as if they’re discussing the weather. Eggsy seriously wonders about his sanity sometimes.

“No. I had a hard enough time doin’ what I needed to with one bird, not ta mention two. And ya know my history with blokes.”

“Did you ever want two girls enough to do it?”

Eggsy shrugs. “What man doesn’t fantasize about two women at once?” Harry raises his eyebrows. “Besides you, of course. I mean, in yer head, it’s all “look at this, two birds ta pleasure me,” but it shouldn’t be like that, should it? Probably wouldn’t be like that. An’ ya gotta remember, ‘arry, I was young…didn’t know what tha fuck I was doin’. No way I coulda handled all that. I’d be so nervous.”

“I think it would be easier if it was someone you knew well, the third,” Harry muses.

“But someone ya trust,” Eggsy says. “I couldn’t do it with someone I thought would take ya from me.”

“No one will EVER take me from you,” Harry promises.

“I know. But in my head I’d be worried.” Eggsy shakes his head and laughs. “I can’t believe we’re havin’ this conversation.”

“I like that we can talk about things like this, even hypothetically.” Harry sips at his water. “You’d like seeing me with another man?”

“I…” Eggsy stops and thinks for a moment. They’d talked about it in the bedroom, of course, made jokes about it. 

“Because I think I would love seeing someone else take you apart,” Harry says quietly. “I so rarely get to see your face, see what touches and kisses and things do to you…it would be so erotic to watch that before joining in.”

“Yes,” Eggsy whispers. “That would be…”

“So. Have you heard from your mother lately? How is Daisy?” 

Eggsy desperately tries to pull his mind back on track. He damns himself for asking the question in the first place, and damns Harry for answering it.

 

They finish dinner and clean up, Harry doing dishes while Eggsy puts away leftovers and takes care of Eliza. “Wanna watch telly or somethin’, Haz? I’m feelin’ generous…even let ya watch cricket.”

“No, not tonight.” Harry leans against the counter, arms crossed over his chest. “I was thinking I’d tie you to the bed and tease you for a while.”

Eggsy swallows hard. “You was?”

“Yes.” Harry comes over and trails a knuckle down Eggsy’s cheek. “If you’re…amenable.”

“I am quite…quite…amenable.” Eggsy turns his head and kisses that knuckle. 

“Go upstairs and undress. You may choose what binds you,” Harry murmurs in his hair. Eggsy scampers off.

Harry chuckles as he lets Eliza out one last time and shuts her in her crate. He has a feeling they won’t be coming downstairs for quite some time. When he reaches the bedroom, Eggsy’s seated on the bed naked, holding a pair of silk ropes. He mutely holds them up to Harry. 

“Perfect.” Eggsy lays down on the pillows and obediently puts his arms above his head. They’d played this way many times before. Harry ties the ropes to the headboard and then to Eggsy’s wrists. “I love you, my darling boy.” He gives Eggsy a tender kiss. He then stands by the bed and slowly disrobes, carefully putting each article of clothing away. By the time he’s naked Eggsy is hard and dripping, just from watching him undress. “You love me.” 

“Fuck, yes.”

“You want me? Only me?”

“Yes, ‘arry, always.”

“Then why did you bring up a third?”

“I…I was just wonderin’.”

Harry spreads Eggsy’s legs a bit and kneels between his thighs. “I don’t know that I believe you.” His hands begin to draw obscure patterns on his thighs, trailing just close enough to make Eggsy’s cock jump but never touching.

“I swear. I swear I just want you. Was just thinkin’, wonderin’ if ya ever…”

“So you didn’t think about me with someone else.” Harry lewdly sucks on an index finger and starts to trail it around Eggsy’s hipbone. Eggsy hisses.

“Not really, no, I…”

“Oh. So you were thinking about YOURSELF with someone else.” Harry bends down and bites that hipbone, making Eggsy jump.

“NO! Christ, no! Harry, I only want ya forever!”

“I know, dear boy, I know.” Harry’s silent for a moment as his hands stop at Eggsy’s abdomen, trailing tickle-light and making the muscles jump. “So…that must mean you pictured the two of us with someone else.”

“Wasn’t…really picturin’…just thinkin’…” Eggsy babbles as Harry’s fingernails scratch down his chest. His hands clench against the ropes. 

“Again, I don’t know that I believe you.” Harry slides two fingers into Eggsy’s mouth and he sucks on them, moaning against Harry’s skin. He brings the fingers away, dripping with saliva, and begins to rub the liquid against Eggsy’s nipple. “Were we servicing him, on our knees sucking his cock? Worshipping his body as he lay on the bed? Or was he taking care of us? Was he sucking me while he used his hand on you?”

“Both,” Eggsy moans and suddenly looks horrified.

Harry chuckles. “I think you forget, my darling boy, that I used to get people to spill their secrets for a living.”

“Haz, I…I’m sorry…”

“Don’t apologize. Do I look angry?” Harry purrs into Eggsy’s ear. He moves down to suck the spit from Eggsy’s nipple and he arches up, gasping for breath. “This isn’t like you going behind my back, Eggsy. We’re sharing. We’re taking pleasure together.” His hand slowly slides down to glide just one finger up and down Eggsy’s cock. “Now…I cannot possibly imagine you’ve been fantasizing about some faceless stranger.” Harry’s teeth very gently nibble on Eggsy’s earlobe.

“Not…not fantasizing…swear down.”

Harry actually gives Eggsy’s cock a gentle slap, nothing more than a tap. Eggsy yelps. “I thought we were being honest. You’ve been fairly honest with me, so far, so I will do the same. I like the idea of you on your knees in front of me, sucking me while your hand is on someone else. I like the idea of helping someone to suck you, showing them all the things that make you scream. I like the thought of fucking someone as they use their mouth on you, so I can watch your face. Or fucking you as they stroke themselves, coming on your beautiful body.” Harry finally gives Eggsy a few tugs before stopping.

“Harry,” Eggsy whimpers. “Please, luv, please.”

Harry kisses his way down Eggsy’s throat, sucking at the skin near his chestbone. “Give and take, Eggsy. You gave me some information, I gave you some information. You tell me who you’re thinking of, and I’ll make you come.”

“Not…thinking…about anyone…” Eggsy groans, eyes fluttering shut.

“I’m going to have to tell Merlin that he needs to train the recruits better when it comes to lying,” Harry says sorrowfully, and Eggsy’s cock jumps in his hand. “Ah.” Harry smiles devilishly. “Look at me, my darling.” Eggsy’s eyes slowly open. “Tell me.” His hand slowly starts to move. “You won’t make me mad…unless it’s Alan.” Eggsy violently shakes his head. 

“Just…a fantasy…” Eggsy gasps, arching into Harry’s touch. Harry can tell he’s getting close.

“Tell me who we’re sharing, Eggsy, and you can come.” Harry’s other hand slides down to tease at his hole. “Tell me, darling boy. Who gets to see me fuck you until you forget your name?”

“Haz…please…Merlin…oh FUCK it’s Merlin,” Eggsy almost shouts. Harry bites down on Eggsy’s shoulder as he strokes him hard and fast. “Harry…Jesus Christ…” Eggsy comes, yanking so hard at the ropes Harry thinks the headboard might break.

“That’s my darling boy…that’s my love…” Harry kisses him passionately. Eggsy shudders as the aftereffects move through him. “Let me get you cleaned up. I’ll be right back.” Harry hurries into the en suite and grabs a hand towel. It doesn’t take long for him to get off, picturing everything he’d said and biting his lip so he doesn’t yell. He cleans himself up, puts on his dressing gown, and grabs a wet flannel and the puppy dressing gown before returning to the bedroom. He quickly releases Eggsy before wiping him clean and helping him into the puppy gown. He reaches for Eggsy and is shocked when Eggsy pulls away and curls up against the headboard. “Eggsy?”

“M’sorry, ‘arry.” Shame is radiating from Eggsy’s body.

“For what?”

“I…I shouldn’t be thinkin’ that way. Shouldn’t…shouldn’t have those thoughts.” Eggsy shakes his head. “Not after everythin’.”

“The only thing I’m angry about here, Eggsy, is that it seems you should have stopped me very early on.” Harry frowns. “We agreed long ago that if one of us did ANYTHING the other wasn’t comfortable with, we would stop immediately. And you’re acting as if you were VERY uncomfortable.”

“No, I’m fine. I promise. I woulda told ya. Everythin’ ya said, fuck, ‘arry, it sounded good. But...” Eggsy’s hands twist the covers. “Don’t want ya ta think I’m lookin’ fer somethin’ cuz it’s not good here. It’s good here. It’s fuckin’ BRILLIANT here in this bedroom with you. Just…dunno…got to thinkin’, an’ then…” He waves his hands around.

“I’m not upset. I’m not angry. If anything you said truly bothered me, I would have stopped everything and told you. There is nothing wrong with fantasies, and you know it. Do you know how many times I’ve shared close quarters with Merlin, for hours at a time? Trust me, he has ALWAYS had that body. A man is only human.”

“You’ve touched him. You’ve been with him.”

“Once,” Harry agreed. “In all honesty, it wasn’t much different than one of your alley shags behind a pub. It was drunken, it was clumsy, it was fast.”

“Ever want ta do it again?”

“I’m not DEAD,” Harry points out, and Eggsy finally snickers. “We all fantasize, my love. It’s all right to do it over someone you know.”

Eggsy crawls over and curls up next to him. “I fantasize more about you than anyone else, ‘arry.”

“I would think so. And you are definitely the star of my naughtiest dreams.”

“Mmm…” Eggsy slides his hand down under the dressing gown and Harry knows he’s shocked at what he finds. “Ya…ya don’t want me ta take care of ya?”

“I wore you out. It’s fine. I took care of it,” Harry tells him. “Please don’t feel guilty about this, Eggsy. We’ve always joked about your little crush on Merlin, and this was a fantasy that included both of us. I don’t feel threatened at all, and I would think you wouldn’t either. I think we’ve both done quite well dealing with what happened.”

“Nah, I don’t feel threatened. Not anymore. If you’d wanted Merlin, you’d have had him a long time ago. Doubt he could resist you.”

“He’s a stubborn old bastard when he wants to be.”

“He’s never been hit with the Harry Hart charm full force,” Eggsy says, and gives Harry a thoroughly charmed kiss.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is where the Merhartwin begins. Starts out fairly Teen and Up. The next chapter will go Explicit. Enjoy.

TWENTY-TWO

“So. Do ya think it will work?”

Merlin sighs and finally looks away from what he’s doing. “If I say yes, will you go away?”

“Probably not.” Eggsy gives him a blinding smile, all bright eyes and dimples. 

“Fuck, you’re exasperating.” Merlin picks up what he’s working on. “I believe it could work, if Miss Evans can do it just right.”

“She can. She’s brilliant. Like you.” Eggsy’s leaning over at the waist, elbows resting on Merlin’s desk, shifting his weight left to right. 

“Flattery will get you nowhere, lad,” Merlin warns. Eggsy snorts and Merlin has to fight very hard to hide his smile. He places the item in a drawer. “I will speak with her. And now I’m going to dig through every mission we have to find something that gets you out of my hair.” Eggsy snorts again, eyes wandering to the top of Merlin’s bald head. “NO jokes.”

“None,” Eggsy says, face a mask of innocence.

“Merlin, did you see what those bastards at the medical supply company want to charge us for the surgery lights?” Harry barges into the office without knocking. He stops short, staring at Eggsy’s arse as it tantalizingly sways back and forth in front of Merlin’s desk. “Well…if that’s not an invitation, I’ve never seen one.”

“Go away, Arthur. Me an’ Merlin are doing big boy work.” Eggsy licks his lips and winks at Merlin. “Ain’t we, bruv?” He leans further across Merlin’s desk, stretching towards him.

“You are a tart,” Merlin says. “He’s our boss.” He’s pleased, though, that they both feel they can act this way in front of him. He knows he’s probably the only one.

“He’s a horny old man,” Eggsy whispers back. He suddenly yelps as Harry’s hand meets his arse hard.

“I heard that. And big boy work? Is that some sort of insinuation that I’m not as big a boy as you and Merlin are?”

“It’s an insinuation that yer a heartless bastard,” Eggsy snaps, rubbing his backside. “Merlin, Arthur’s being mean.”

“Tristan, you deserved it. You’re lucky he doesn’t gag that smart mouth of yours all day long.” Merlin snaps his mouth shut, wishing he could take the words back immediately. 

Harry stares at him in shock while Eggsy snickers. “He’d never do that ALL day long. He likes the sounds that come out of it a little too much.”

“A gentleman doesn’t give out such information,” Harry tells him sternly, but his eyes are twinkling.

“A gentleman doesn’t go around spankin’ his husband in public,” Eggsy retorts.

“This gentleman does,” Harry murmurs, giving him a kiss.

“THIS gentleman is going to discreetly vomit into his rubbish bin,” Merlin groans. “Who did I harm in a past life to be put through all this?”

“Aw, Merlin, we love you best,” Eggsy says cajolingly, blowing him a kiss.

“Tristan, for God’s sake, go do…something productive. Some of us actually DO have big boy work to do,” Merlin says finally. Eggsy opens his mouth. “And YES, I ate breakfast. Not much lunch, since we’re going for dinner.”

“Good,” Eggsy says. “I’ll leave you to it then. See you at half-six.” He gives Harry a quick kiss and leaves the office.

“I’m sorry,” Harry says, and Merlin knows he’s mildly worried that they offended him.

“Please don’t apologize for your boy. If you start doing that, you’ll never stop.” Merlin puts his hand out for the papers he’s carrying. “Now, let’s see if we can’t straighten the lighting bastards out.”

 

“So this place is run by an ex-Kingsman?”

“Yes. Uther. He opened it…maybe seven years ago?” Harry hip bumps Eggsy until he moves out of the way. “You couldn’t go brush your teeth somewhere else? I’m shaving.”

“I like being with ya.”

“You like getting in my way.” Harry purposefully steps on Eggsy’s foot.

“Fuck! Ya brute.” Eggsy waits until Harry puts the razor down and pinches his backside. “Just fer that, no sex t’night.”

Harry snorts. “Like you could keep THAT promise.”

“I could keep my hands off ya,” Eggsy says. He could. Probably. Depends. On things.

“We’ll see about that.” Harry pats his face dry.

“Mmm.” Eggsy lightly touches Harry’s cheek. “Soft.”

“No.” Harry takes his hands and gently moves them away. “Keeping your hands off me, remember?”

“Dick,” Eggsy growls and goes to dress. “Will I like the food at this place?” He calls back from the closet. He decides on a favorite grey suit and starts to put it on.

“No, Eggsy, I’m taking you somewhere you’ll hate. Merlin and I will eat in front of you while you sit and pout.” Harry rolls his eyes as he removes his dressing gown and hangs it on its hook. Eggsy watches him and sighs. “No touching.” Harry actually SAUNTERS to his side of the closet.

“You are in a mood tonight, Mr. Hart,” Eggsy says. “Are ya tryin’ ta kill me?”

“Perhaps.” Harry bends over to pick up a pair of shoes, giving Eggsy a lovely view of his naked arse.

“You’re evil an’ I no longer love you.” Eggsy turns away and finishes getting dressed.

“My poor boy.” Harry grabs him by the wrist and pulls him into an embrace. “I thought you liked when I teased you.”

“Our very good friend is going ta be here any minute. We are goin’ out in public not long after that. Don’t need ya givin’ me somethin’ for everyone ta talk about.” Eggsy takes Harry’s hand and puts it over the front of his pants. “An’ as hard as yer makin’ me right now, they’ll be talkin’.”

“I do love the affect I have on you.” Harry gives him a tender kiss. “Makes me think I’m not such a decrepit old man after all.”

“You’re a filthy old pervert an’ I love it.” Eggsy kisses him back. “Now c’mon. We have a reservation, an’ I don’t like bein’ late.”

“Yes, dear,” Harry says obediently and Eggsy flips him off.

Eggsy leave the bedroom so as not to distract Harry any further. He loves the man with his entire being, but he cannot get over how lax Harry is when it comes to time. He goes downstairs and lets Eliza out. He gives her a treat when they come back in and she barks for him to pick her up. “No, my girl, not now. Not when I’m dressed nice for dinner.” The doorbell rings and she goes scampering down the hall, barking as she goes. “Eliza! Quiet!”

“See? I’m ready right on time.” Harry sedately comes down the stairs. 

“There’s a first for everything,” Eggsy points out. Harry slips past him to open the door.

“Merlin! Hello, come on in.” Harry steps aside to allow Merlin in.

“Hey, Merlin,” is what Eggsy means to say. What comes out is, “Holy fuck.”

Merlin’s wearing a bespoke suit of dark green which makes his hazel eyes pop. His legs look endless, and a bit of gold in his tie accentuates his eyes even more. “Is there a problem?” Merlin asks.

“No,” Eggsy says quietly. “Guess…uh…I’m not used ta seein’ ya in a suit, that’s all. Ya look, uh…nice.” He picks Eliza up, forgetting about his suit. “Gonna…gonna put her away an’ we can go.” He turns on his heel and heads for the kitchen.

 

Harry and Merlin watch Eggsy walk away. “Is it something I said?” Merlin asks, worried.

“You said hello, I believe,” Harry says, and Merlin’s surprised to see a smirk on his face. “I think you might have broken his brain. He does have a thing for fit older men with long legs, after all.”

Merlin blushes. “I doubt I’m anywhere in your league, Harry.”

“You’d be wrong,” Harry says. “I can drive, or we can take a cab?”

“Cab,” Eggsy says as he returns. He seems to have composed himself a bit. “I know how ya get with yer wine, an’ I know yer gonna order wine.”

“Wise decision,” Harry says, nodding. “I’ll call for a Kingsman cab.”

“Fair warnin’,” Eggsy says to Merlin. “He’s been a bit sassy.”

“Sassy?” Merlin repeats, smiling. “A sassy Harry Hart is not a good thing. I remember one time when he got sassy in Budapest and we had to send in reinforcements.”

“I do not get sassy,” Harry says when he finishes the call. 

“Oh, you were sassy that time. I think when they arrived you were fighting off someone’s boyfriend AND his girlfriend?”

“I cannot help that people are naturally attracted to me.”

“No, ya can’t help bein’ a peacock who preens an’ tries ta get tha attention of every healthy person in a five meter radius,” Eggsy says, pokin’ him. “If I’m good, do I get more embarrassin’ stories about ‘arry?”

“Of course,” Merlin says.

“Nothing to worry about. You’re never good,” Harry tells Eggsy as they go out the door.

“Eggsy! Mr. Hart! I haven’t seen you in ages,” an elderly woman calls from the path next door.

“Please, Mrs. White, do call me Harry,” Harry tells her.

“Clovis!” Eggsy says, smile wide with delight as he crouches down to say hello to her dog.

“I’ll do my best, Mr. Hart, but you were Mr. Hart for ever so long.” The woman’s eyes twinkle. 

“Merlin, my neighbor, Mrs. White.”

“OUR neighbor,” Eggsy snaps, poking Harry’s ankle.

“OUR neighbor,” Harry repeats. “Mrs. White, this is Merlin. He works with us at the shop.”

“A pleasure, ma’am,” Merlin says.

“I do wonder about the hiring practices at this shop of yours, Mister…Harry,” the woman says, looking Merlin over. “Is it some sort of rule that every man working there must be devilishly handsome?”

“I believe it is, Mrs. White,” Harry says. Eggsy smiles at Merlin as he stands up.

“I…I thank you for the compliment, ma’am,” Merlin says, unsure what else to say.

Eggsy kisses her cheek as the cab pulls up. “I’ll be over soon to visit, Mrs. White.”

“Good. A pleasure, Merlin.”

They climb into the cab and Harry tells the driver where they’re going. “Was she just flirting with me?” Merlin asks finally.

“Probably. She is amazing. I love her. I tried to get Harry to let us marry her and he said no. Spoilsport.” Eggsy gently nudges Harry’s side.

“Not quite the threesome I’d be looking for, my boy,” Harry says slyly and Eggsy snorts.

When they arrive at the restaurant, Uther once again greets them at the door. “Arthur! Merlin! Back again?”

“Yes,” Harry says. He puts a hand on the small of Eggsy’s back. “And we’ve brought my husband along. Eggsy, this is Uther, the owner. Uther, this is my husband, Agent Tristan.”

“A pleasure!” Uther says, shaking Eggsy’s hand. “Congratulations on your wedding.”

“Almost a year in, but thank you,” Eggsy says, smiling up at Harry.

Merlin can’t help but smile as well. He has always wanted Harry to find someone who made him feel worthy of love, and every time Eggsy looks at him it’s like the sun has come out from behind a cloud. “Somewhere with a bit of privacy if we could, Uther?” He asks. Eggsy and Harry don’t often express their affection in public, but he wants them to feel as relaxed as possible. He wants this dinner to go better than the last dinner he’d had here.

“Of course. I have the table in the corner, blocked off a bit by the wall.” He leads them to a small round table.

“Wonderful.” Merlin holds a chair out for Eggsy, who actually blushes.

“Thank ya. Nice to see how a real gentleman behaves.” 

“NOW who’s acting sassy?” Harry says. “I think we’ll start with wine.” He orders something Merlin actually recognizes, a fruity beverage much sweeter than Harry’s normal taste. “Eggsy’s particular about wine, so this is something I know he’ll enjoy.”

“What he’s sayin’ is Eggsy’s a stupid chav who don’t know shite about wine an’ thinks it tastes like bollocks,” Eggsy corrects, making Merlin laugh. 

“Don’t feel bad, lad. I normally stick with my heritage. Scotch all the way.”

“Neanderthals, the both of you,” Harry says.

The wine comes and the waiter pours it. “I would like to make a toast,” Eggsy says. “To forgiveness, to very special, very old friends, to love in every form.”

“Perfect,” Merlin says, raising his glass.

“Perfect,” Harry echoes, kissing Eggsy’s cheek.

Eggsy sips at his wine. “This ain’t half bad,” he declares.

“Thank you,” Harry says wryly.

The waiter returns and they place their orders. Harry’s holding Eggsy’s hand on the table, thumb rubbing over his wedding band. “I promise you this dinner will definitely end better than the last one,” Merlin says softly.

“I told you, Merlin, it…”

“No. Just let me say this and I’ll let it drop. I appreciate the second chance you’ve both given me. Not only because of how it affects our professional relationship, but because of this.” Merlin twirls a finger between the three of them. “I almost feel we’ve gotten closer because of it, and I’m thankful for that. My rash decision could have cost me everything.”

“There’s no way you could have known, Merlin,” Harry says gently.

“I know that. But you’ve always been the one to act first think later. I’m quite the opposite.” Merlin draws a ragged breath. “Anyway, enough of that.”

Eggsy picks up Merlin’s hand and kisses his knuckles. “So…Merlin.”

“I know that tone,” Harry groans. 

“I’ve been awfully good sitting here. I’ve tasted the wine, didn’t make a fuss, didn’t even complain that ‘arry took tha biggest piece of bread from tha basket. Don’t you think I deserve an embarrassin’ Galahad story?”

“Of course you do,” Merlin says, grinning as Harry groans. “How about the time he was in Chile and he was crawling through an air duct and fell through the ceiling right into the room of bad guys?”

“DO tell,” Eggsy says eagerly.

“I hate you both. I’m going to tell Uther to poison your food. Excuse me.” Harry gets up and stalks off in the direction of the restrooms.

 

They enjoy their meal and the conversation, getting slightly tipsy on the wine. Harry’s surprised to see they’ve finished the bottle. He hands over his credit card to the waiter and asks for a Kingsman cab. “Merlin, would you like to come back to the house for a drink?”

“Please, Merlin…hate for tha night ta end,” Eggsy admits.

“Of course,” Merlin says. “I probably shouldn’t drive right now, anyway.”

“Stay at ours,” Eggsy says immediately. “Not like we don’t have a spare room.”

“I couldn’t impose.”

“Merlin, ya ain’t some stranger. Yer family.” Eggsy lightly punches him in the shoulder.

Harry signs the check and they leave the restaurant, stopping to converse with Uther on the way out. “Did you like it, darling?” Harry asks Eggsy as they leave.

“Yes. Food was incredible, wine wasn’t bad, and Uther was aces.”

“Good.” Harry looks at Merlin. “Definitely a nice evening.”

“Yes,” Merlin agrees. 

Eggsy snuggles up against Harry in the cab but drapes his feet over Merlin’s. “He gets a bit snuggly when he’s drinking,” Harry explains.

“Like you hate it,” Eggsy points out and Harry blushes a bit.

When they arrive at the house, Eggsy goes to take care of Eliza while Harry and Merlin go into the parlor. They both remove their suit jackets, loosen their ties, and Merlin undoes two buttons on his shirt. Harry cuffs his sleeves before going behind the bar. “Watch,” he says to Merlin.

“Luv, nothin’ fer me. I think I’ve had enough. Don’t drink wine much, makin’ me woozy. I think ya…” Eggsy freezes as he comes into the parlor and sees Harry’s arms. “Fuck I hate you, Haz.”

Harry snickers. “You’d think I was walking around naked the way he looks at my forearms.”

“You have sexy forearms,” Eggsy says.

“They’re not unattractive,” Merlin says.

“Don’t take his side, Merlin, we won’t hear the end of it,” Harry says with a groan.

Eggsy curls up on the sofa and pats the cushion next to him. “Sit down, Merlin. Gotta question for ya…sorta personal…okay if ya don’t wanna answer it.”

“Of course, lad.” He nods his thanks as the takes the drink from Harry. Harry sits on Merlin’s other side, a little wary as to Eggsy’s question. Eggsy tends to get quite chatty with very little filter when he’s been drinking.

“Was what Alan said true? Do…do ya call someone for…to…to get laid?” It’s obvious he’s trying to be polite but finally gives up.

“I do, on occasion. I don’t pick someone up off the street. It’s a very discreet service, costly but respectable.”

“You deserve to be happy,” Eggsy tells him. “I’m shocked no one’s scooped ya up.”

“It’s twice as hard for me as it is for you, lad. The agents in the field have to bounce back from one mission at a time. I might be running three or four, and there’s been at least once when two of those four are failures and I lose someone. I can’t take that home with me. And I cannot be distracted by home life while I’m working.” He shrugs. “Merlin’s Curse, I suppose.”

Eggsy wriggles a bit and snuggles up against him. He moves Merlin’s arm and wraps it around his chest. “Sorry for all that.” Harry smiles. Eggsy is a nurturer.

“I appreciate that.”

“And sorry Alan is a prick.”

“Not much you can do about that.” Merlin hesitates before kissing the top of Eggsy’s head. Eggsy hums and stays close. They sit in silence for a moment, but it’s not a negative silence. Merlin finally pushes Eggsy to sit up. “I have something to ask the two of you.” He stands up. “Have you decided on anything for your anniversary? A destination, I mean.”

Eggsy shakes his head as Harry says, “No, we haven’t. I’m beginning to think that we should just rent a suite at the Dorchester or the Ritz and be done with it.”

“How…would you like my house?” They stare at him. “My family home. In Scotland. I told you about it, Harry…before.” Merlin looks uncomfortable. “It’s empty, but I could have it cleaned, aired out, stocked. It’s near civilization but with a lot of privacy, as long as you’re not shagging in the back yard. You could stay as long as you liked, and it’s not far to get there. You’d have most of your time there, not on the road.” They continue to stare at him. “I just…I thought it would be a nice anniversary gift, but…never mind.”

They both stand. “Merlin, that’s perfect. That sounds wonderful. Thank you,” Harry whispers.

“Really?” Merlin asks. Harry nods. “I figured it’s the least I can do, but…it’s a lovely place and I think you’ll enjoy it.” He looks at Eggsy, who’s right in front of him, still staring. “Let me guess. I’m fuckin’ aces?”

“No. I mean, yes, ya always are, but…thank ya. This is so sweet.” Eggsy reaches up and touches his cheek. “Ya have a heart of gold, Merlin. Ya hide it well but I see it all the time.” Eggsy stands on tiptoe and kisses him. “Ya deserve so much more than ya got.” He kisses him again, pressing himself against Merlin.

Harry can hear Merlin’s gasp as he takes Eggsy by the arms and gently moves him away. “Eggsy…”

“What?” Eggsy’s face is completely serious.

“What are you doing? Did someone shoot YOU with a love drug?” Merlin jokes nervously.

“No. I just…I wanted ta kiss ya, have fer a while…me an’ ‘arry talked about it,” Eggsy promises. 

“But we didn’t talk to Merlin about it.” Harry reminds Eggsy.

“Right. Sorry. Didn’t mean ta attack ya.”

“You talked about kissing me?” Merlin gapes at them. 

“Among other things,” Eggsy mutters, staring at his feet. Harry thinks it’s adorable.

“Why me?”

“Why tha fuck NOT you? You’re fit as hell, yer an’ amazin’ person, an’ if ever was gonna share Harry with someone, I’d want it to be you!” Eggsy blurts out. He turns red.

“Share Harry with me?” Merlin echoes.

“Well, not that he’s really mine ta share, or anythin’, he’s his own amazin’ person, but he is my husband, so, yeah.” Eggsy stops talking when Harry covers his mouth with his hand.

“Let me get this straight. You’re offering…you. You’re offering the two of you. To me. Tonight.” Eggsy nods. “You’re okay with this?” Eggsy nods again. “YOU’RE okay with it?” He looks at Harry.

“Apparently it’s a fantasy I didn’t realize I had until this one brought it up. I’m very okay with it. But if you’re not, it doesn’t happen, you sleep in the guest room, we make you breakfast and send you on your way. And nothing is ever said again.” Harry smiles at him. “It’s your decision, Merlin.”

Merlin looks from Harry to Eggsy. “Just don’t want ya ta be alone, just fer a little while,” Eggsy whispers.

Harry can tell the moment the decision’s made. Merlin moves forward, cups Eggsy’s face in his large hands and gives him a passionate kiss.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I didn't expect to write/post another chapter so soon, but I don't know that I'll get a chance to do any writing tomorrow, and this has burned a hole in my brain. I am so going to hell.

TWENTY-THREE

Eggsy moans a bit and his body falls against Merlin’s. Merlin barely lets him up for air, breaking the kiss just long enough for Eggsy to gasp before Merlin’s moving in again, controlling the kiss with his mouth, with his tongue, with his hands on Eggsy’s neck. Harry moves in behind Eggsy, hands sliding up over Merlin’s to hold Eggsy in place. Eggsy whimpers and pushes forward. He meets resistance in Merlin’s strong body so he presses back…directly against Harry. “Fuck,” Eggsy pants, finally dipping his head to the side so he can get his breath. Harry looks at Merlin as he slowly bends his head. Merlin moves his hand and Harry gently nibbles along Eggsy’s neck.

Harry licks at Eggsy’s pulse point and pulls back a bit. “Darling, why don’t you go take care of Eliza so the grown-ups can talk.” Merlin chuckles.

“Um, yeah, okay.” Eggsy wobbles a bit and moves towards the kitchen. “Eliza…” His voice is weak.

“I’m impressed. One kiss did that.” Harry smiles at Merlin. 

“My skills might be rusty, but they’re still skills.”

Harry pauses, then takes Merlin’s hands in his own. “You don’t have to do this. It’s not a requirement.”

“I know that. I’m just a little overwhelmed. Eggsy has you…why would he want to do anything with me?”

“WE want to do things with you. TO you.” Harry brings Merlin’s hands to his lips. “Such strong hands,” he murmurs. “I want them touching me…want to see you touch him.” 

“Jesus, Harry,” Merlin whispers. 

“But it is the both of us. Not one more than the other.”

“I would expect nothing else,” Merlin says quickly. “You come as a package deal.”

“I would very much like to share my husband with you,” Harry murmurs. He’s a bit nervous himself; this is quite uncharted territory. But this is also Merlin, who he’s known half his life. He takes a deep breath and kisses Merlin. He continues to hold Merlin’s hands, just softly kissing him, getting to know the taste of him. He feels Merlin sigh, feels the touch of Merlin’s tongue against his. Merlin doesn’t try to deepen the kisses, just follows Harry’s lead.

Harry can sense Eggsy’s presence in the room before he hears him. “That may be the fuckin’ hottest thing I have ever seen in my life. I could die now and be happy.”

“Well.” Merlin kisses Harry once more and looks over Harry’s shoulder. “I suppose that is a compliment.”

“Yes, it is.” Eggsy comes up behind Harry and wraps his arms around him. He peeks at Merlin over Harry’s shoulder. “If yer kissin’ is this good, I’m half afraid ta find out about tha rest.”

“Well, we’re not finding out about the rest in here.” Harry meets Merlin’s eye. “Upstairs?” Merlin nods. “All right, then. Go ahead, my boy.” Harry moves aside.

“An’ lose out on watchin’ tha two of you walk up tha stairs? No fuckin’ way, mate. After you.” Eggsy sweeps his arm out.

“Do you see what I have to deal with?” Harry asks helplessly.

“I think you secretly love it,” Merlin says as he follows Harry to the stairs.

“I think you’re correct.”

“Move it along, old men. Ya ain’t gettin’ any younger.”

Harry stops at the top of the steps and waits for Merlin to stand next to him. “Merlin?”

“We’re going to fucking WRECK him.”

“Oh yes we are.”

Harry leads the way into their bedroom. “And now it gets awkward.” Harry starts to untie his shoes.

“I’m sorry!” Merlin gasps. “I…”

Eggsy chuckles. “Nah, yer fine, guv. He’s talkin’ about shoes. He hates when he’s tryin’ ta be all sexy and we have to stop an’ do shoes an’ socks. So we do them first.”

“Oh, all right,” Merlin says. He does a double take as he looks at the door to the en suite. “Is that…are those puppies?”

“Yes,” Eggsy sighs as he tosses his socks in the direction of the laundry bin. “Because when my husband shops online for me, he gets me a puppy dressing gown.”

“That’s adorable.” Merlin neatly lines his shoes up behind the bedroom door.

“Now.” Harry takes Eggsy by the shoulders and puts him in front of Merlin. “I believe he was kissing you?”

“Yeah,” Eggsy says, a dreamy smile on his face. 

“My pleasure,” Merlin murmurs, putting his hands on Eggsy’s waist. Harry starts slowly undressing Eggsy as they kiss, first his jacket and tie, and then slowly unbuttoning his shirt. Merlin waves Harry’s hands away and finishes the buttons, slowly sliding the shirt from Eggsy’s body. “Jesus fuck, you’re gorgeous.” His hands slowly slide across Eggsy’s torso, fingers rippling over his abdominal muscles.

“Harry,” Eggsy gasps, head falling back onto his chest. “Kiss me.” 

Harry obeys, greedily plunging his tongue into his husband’s mouth. Eggsy brings a hand back to fist in Harry’s hair, groaning as Merlin’s fingers find his nipples and slowly pinch and flick them. “He likes it rough,” Harry tells Merlin. “Just…no marks if you bite, please.” Harry can handle a lot of things, but seeing someone else’s marks on Eggsy, even Merlin’s…he can’t do it.

“Whatever you say, Harry.” 

Harry moans. “That…sounded…” He moans again and grabs Merlin by the shirt, pulling him in for a hard kiss. Eggsy squeals and slides out of the way as the taller men kiss, hands pawing at clothing. Harry has Merlin’s tie undone and Merlin has Harry’s shirt practically unbuttoned before they come up for breath. 

“Whoa…time out.” Eggsy steps between them. “My turn.” He stands with his back to Merlin and finishes the work on Harry’s shirt. Merlin kisses his neck, licking at his shoulder until he’s shivering. “Okay…now you…” Eggsy spins around and slowly reveals Merlin’s chest. “Fuck…Merlin…” He dips his head and quickly sucks a nipple into his mouth, fingers digging into Merlin’s back.

“Jesus, lad…warn a man…” Merlin gasps for breath. His hand presses the back of Eggsy’s head. Eggsy’s hands slide down to Merlin’s backside, and Merlin moans as he squeezes.

Harry moves a hand up Merlin’s chest to Eggsy’s mouth and Eggsy sucks on his finger. Harry moves the wet digits over to Merlin’s other nipple and slowly teases it. Merlin moans and leans in to kiss him. Harry sucks Merlin’s tongue as his fingers torture the hard nipple. Harry finally makes himself pull away. “Eggsy…come here…” He gently moves Eggsy away and he whimpers. “Shh…you can have your new toy back soon.” He winks at Merlin to show he’s teasing. “We need to discuss something.”

“Couldn’t that have been done downstairs?” Eggsy whines, rubbing his perfect arse against Harry’s cock. Harry bites his shoulder.

“Be quiet, you dirty little slut,” he growls in Eggsys ear. Eggsy moans and almost collapses against him. “Oh, and Eggsy loves dirty talk, too,” Harry adds almost an afterthought. “Behave, or I’ll make you sit on that chair and watch us but not touch.”

“Mean.” Eggsy mumbles. He backs up against Merlin’s chest, wrapping Merlin’s long arms around himself. 

“Condoms?” Harry asks, and Eggsy grows serious. He looks up at Merlin.

“Fuck, didn’t think about that.”

“We don’t use them for obvious reasons. But if you want us to, even for any oral sex, we will.”

“No, that’s fine. Not necessary for that.” Merlin blushes a bit. “I…well…I prefer to bottom? The agency I use is very strict about testing for their employees as well as their clients, so I know I’m clean. If you want to use them, though, I’m completely fine with that.”

“You bottom?” Eggsy turns in his arms and stares at him. “Harry could fuck you an’ I’d get ta watch?”

“Eggsy, you decide, my boy.” Harry sweetly kisses him. 

“No condoms,” Eggsy decides. “If we can’t trust Kingsman medical, who can we trust?”

“True,” Harry says. He suddenly falls to his knees and quickly undoes Eggsy’s trousers. He takes Eggsy into his mouth, hands steadying on Merlin’s legs.

“Fuck!” Eggsy yells. He is caught off guard, which was Harry’s intention. “Jesus, ‘arry, oh FUCK…” Eggsy’s hands pull through Harry’s hair.

“Is he good?” Harry hears Merlin mutter in Eggsy’s ear. “Does he have a talented mouth and tongue?”

“Oh, sweet JESUS, Merlin, yes…” Eggsy turns his head and Harry can hear them kissing. He keeps going until Eggsy starts to whimper, and then he pulls away. He helps Eggsy out of his trousers and pants.

“My God, lad, you’re beautiful,” Merlin whispers. Eggsy slowly turns around to face him. Merlin’s eyes wander over him, hands resting on Eggsy’s hips. He reaches out one finger to trace Eggsy’s length. Eggsy sucks in a breath.

“Finish undressing him,” Harry murmurs in Eggsy’s ear. Eggsy slowly obeys, struggling with Merlin’s belt and zipper before he gets them open. He slowly works Merlin’s trousers down, kneeling as his feet. He gives Merlin a look that requests permission, and Merlin nods. He slides the pants down and Merlin’s now naked. 

“Oh, fuck ME…are ya sure ya only bottom?” Eggsy gasps as he looks at Merlin’s cock, which is thick and longer than even Harry’s. “I would love ta be fucked with that.”

“I’m beginning to get a complex,” Harry teases.

“C’mon, luv.” Eggsy pulls himself away to finish undressing Harry. “Ya know I luv ya, luv takin’ yer cock, but…fuck.”

“You both top?” Merlin asks, staring hungrily at Harry’s now-naked body.

“We both switch,” Harry corrects. Merlin licks his lips.

“C’mere. Can’t stand this anymore.” Eggsy pulls them both to the bed and sits on the edge. He begins to suck Harry, using his hand to stroke and getting it as wet as possible. He pulls off of Harry with a pop and then turns to Merlin. He looks up at him. “Can I suck yer cock, Merlin?”

“Christ, yes, please, lad,” Merlin begs.

Eggsy focuses on him alone at first. He slowly works his mouth over him, learning the taste and feel of his skin. His hand gently strokes the length, thumb teasing over the head before he takes him as far as he can. “God…that’s…you’re so beautiful, my boy…so good…” Harry stammers.

Eggsy flickers his tongue over the tip and Merlin almost loses his balance. “Wanna be good…wanna be good for you both.” He continues to stroke Merlin as he goes back to sucking Harry.

If Harry wasn’t 100% sure he wanted this to happen, that decision is now made for him. Eggsy’s hand moves quickly over Merlin’s cock, his head moving in time on Harry’s. Eggsy’s face is pink and saliva is running down his chin. 

“Kiss me,” Merlin orders Harry, and Harry happily complies. Merlin’s hand is in his hair, holding him still for brutal kisses that leave Harry breathless. Merlin moans and bites down on Harry’s bottom lip. “Fuck, he’s sucking on my…”

“He’s enthusiastic,” Harry says with a grin. “Eggsy, come here, my boy.” He helps Eggsy to his feet. He looks so debauched and used that Harry has to kiss him. Eggsy continues to stroke Merlin like he can’t bear to stop touching him. Harry wiggles against Eggsy a bit, teasing his cock along the cleft of his arse. “Merlin has to make a decision now.”

“He does?” Merlin asks.

“Yes. Do you want Eggsy to fuck you, or do you want me?” Harry slowly reaches down to join his hand with Eggsy’s.

“You evil bastard,” Merlin hisses, watching their hands on his cock. “Like I can form thoughts right now.”

“I’ll make the decision for ya,” Eggsy tells him. “I’m good, but ‘arry’s better. He makes ya beg, makes ya wanna feel it fer days. He’ll be so good to ya, Merlin. An’ while he’s doin’ it, m’gonna keep suckin’ ya. Ya don’t wanna fuck me, that’s fine, but I’m takin’ that big dick of yers one way or the other.”

“Jesus, the mouth on you, lad,” Merlin gasps. 

“C’mon, Merlin.” Eggsy guides him to the bed and lays him down. He crawls over him on his hands and knees. “Gonna take care of ya, Merlin. Gonna make ya feel good. Me an’ ‘arry…we’ll love you t’night.” He gently kisses him, and Harry almost weeps at the affectionate look on Merlin’s face. He kisses his way down Merlin’s body. “Let me get ‘im ready fer ya, ‘arry.”

“And what am I supposed to do?” Harry says, getting the lube and handing it to Eggsy.

“Fix me a snack,” Eggsy says with a straight face and Harry spanks his arse. “Ow!”

“Come here, Harry,” Merlin says. Harry crawls up the bed next to him. “Kiss me. Please kiss me. It’s so much…”

“Of course I will, Merlin,” Harry whispers. He begins to gently kiss him as Eggsy starts to open him up. Harry sees Eggsy softly kiss the inside of Merlin’s thighs as he begins to finger his way inside. Merlin gasps against Harry’s mouth. “He’ll be good to you, Merlin, so good. You look at him and you don’t think it, with the life he’s had, but he’s capable of such tenderness. He wants to please you. Look at him.” Merlin glances down and moans as Eggsy meets his gaze. He slides the finger in faster and Merlin’s back arches. “And he’s also capable of brute force. He’s fucked me so hard I haven’t been able to sit comfortably for two days. 

“Please,” Merlin begs. “Christ, lad, another…I can take it…”

“You feel so good…jealous of ya, ‘arry…”

“The night’s young,” Harry reminds him. “And you have the recovery time of a man in his twenties.” Merlin shivers against him. “You like that idea, Merlin? Like the idea of Eggsy fucking you later?”

“Christ, yes,” Merlin gasps. Harry chuckles. “Oh fuck,” Merlin moans. Harry kisses him, sucking on his tongue. 

Eggsy has three fingers moving inside him now and bites the inside of his leg. “Harry, luv, I think he’s ready.”

“So ready PLEASE fuck me, Harry,” Merlin begs. “Been so long since I had anyone special touch me…kiss me…fuck me…”

“We’ll take care of you, sweetheart.” Eggsy moves up and kisses him. “Gonna take good care of you.”

Harry takes a moment to settle himself. He’s not used to someone with legs this long. Merlin spreads them apart, planting his heels. Harry slicks himself with lube and slowly moves inside. Merlin stops breathing for a moment, hips arching up to meet him. “God…Merlin…you are so fucking tight…Jesus…” Harry thinks he might come at that very second, as soon as he’s all the way in.

“Been…a while…” Merlin relaxes a bit. “Yes, Harry…”

“Let me know if it’s too much,” Harry murmurs, setting a slow pace.

“Not too much.”

“Obviously not if yer still talkin’.” Eggsy moves down the bed. “This is tha part where we make ya forget yer name.” Eggsy slowly sucks Merlin into his mouth, letting Harry’s thrusts set his speed. His hand slowly strokes the length he can’t get into his mouth, and he feels Merlin’s hand fist in his hair.

“God, Eggsy, that is so fucking hot,” Harry breathes. Merlin grabs Eggsy by the hair and pulls his head away for a moment. Saliva and precum stretch from Eggsy’s mouth to the tip of Merlin’s cock. “Fuck,” Harry groans, slamming in a bit harder.

“Yes, oh fuck yes, Harry, just like that.”

“God, Merlin…ya feel so good in my mouth,” Eggsy gasps as he comes up for air. “So fuckin’ BIG.”

“Use his mouth, Merlin,” Harry orders, snapping his hips. “Make him take that big cock of yours.”

“Harry,” Eggsy moans before Merlin shoves his head down.

“Lad…your tongue…evil thing…” Merlin shudders. “I can’t…can’t wait…”

“Don’t make him come yet, Eggsy,” Harry tells him. “Wait until I’m close.”

Eggsy pulls away, slowing down to gentle kitten licks. “Do ya wanna come in my mouth, Merlin?” He watches Harry, whose movements get a bit more ragged.

“Fuck, there!” Merlin arches up, hands fisting in the covers. “There, Harry…”

“Kiss him,” Harry snarls at Eggsy. “Kiss him. Kiss his breath away.” Eggsy immediately slides up to kiss Merlin, hand stroking quickly over his cock. Harry watches them, watches their tongues slide against each other. “Oh, fuck, Eggsy…darling boy…”

“Come for me, Merlin,” Eggsy whispers. “Come...I’ll lick it clean.”

“Jesus FUCK!” Merlin yells, shooting hard and fast over Eggsy’s hand.

“Merlin…” Harry grabs hard at Merlin’s hips, pulsing inside of him with such intensity he thinks he might pass out.

Merlin’s hand is fisted in Eggsy’s hair, holding his head tight in the crook of his neck. “Merlin,” Eggsy mumbles, and he slowly releases him. Eggsy kisses his way down Merlin’s chest, lapping at the spots of come he finds along the way. 

“God, Eggsy,” Harry says in a strangled tone. The site of that is almost enough to make him come again. He slowly pulls out and goes to the en suite. He cleans himself up and brings a flannel for Merlin. Eggsy is gently petting and kissing him. He cleans Merlin and puts the flannel aside. “Are you all right, Merlin?”

“I will be. Christ.” Merlin opens his eyes and looks at them. “Did you receive special training for this?”

“No…natural talent an’ active imaginations,” Eggsy says with a sly grin. Merlin laughs and meets Harry’s gaze. He looks sated, happy.

“I don’t believe we’re done here,” Merlin says, looking at Eggsy.

“I do believe you’re right.” Harry crawls up on Eggsy’s other side. “Flat on your back, darling.” Harry kisses Eggsy as he gets situated. “The thing about my husband, Merlin?” Harry begins to drag his fingers up and down Eggsy’s flat stomach. “He loves to be touched.”

“I would think you love touching him.” Merlin’s hand joins Harry’s and Eggsy giggles as they gently tickle him. 

“Oh, I do. He is so sensitive all over.” Harry dips his head a bit and licks a line from Eggsy’s nipple to his shoulder blade. Merlin copies him. “The two places he’s most sensitive though? Are here…” Harry begins to slowly stroke Eggsy’s weeping cock. “And here…” He nuzzles at Eggsy’s ear.”

“Oh, sweet Jesus, Haz, no, please,” Eggsy begs. 

“His ears are so sensitive. I’ve always wondered if I could get him off just by playing with his ears. Can you help me?” Harry asks innocently, tongue rolling along the earlobe.

“I was hoping to play with this some more…” Merlin fists his hand along Eggsy’s cock.

“I promise it will be worth it. He begs so pretty…says such nasty, pretty things.”

“Anywhere on his ears?” Merlin flickers his tongue over the top of Eggsy’s ear.

“Oh, fuck, FUCK, Merlin, you evil fuckin’ BITCH,” Eggsy swears, entire body shaking.

“I see what you mean,” Merlin says.

They get to work, licking and sucking Eggsy’s ears until he’s sobbing. They don’t touch his cock, simply lay their hands on his stomach just out of reach. He begs, swearing and calling them names. His body shakes, so close to coming but not quite there. “Jesus Christ, Haz, just fuckin’ TOUCH me. Touch my dick, let me come, PLEASE!”

Harry sits up and Merlin mimics him. Harry looks down at Eggsy, a finger tickling along his ears. He places his fingers on the earlobe and Merlin does the same. “Pinch him,” he says very quietly as he moves in to kiss Merlin. As their mouths meet in a kiss Harry pinches down on the earlobe and Eggsy screams.

Harry looks down just in time to see Eggsy come, hips bucking as he shoots all over his chest. “Fuck, that is amazing,” Merlin whispers. He looks back at Harry and kisses him. Harry makes himself pull away and kisses Merlin’s forehead. He gets another flannel and cleans Eggsy off, quickly climbing under the covers with him. Eggsy’s shivering, body occasionally twitching.

“Are you all right, my boy?”

“Can’t…feel my legs…” Eggsy says.

Harry meets Merlin’s gaze. “We wrecked him.”

“We absolutely did.” Merlin is still sitting up. “Well, I’ll just…uh…”

“Ya won’t go to tha guest room, yer stayin’ here, lay down an’ shut tha fuck up.” Eggsy grabs him by the shoulder and yanks him down. Harry’s curled around Eggsy on the one side, and Merlin presses against him from the other side. 

“Thank you,” Merlin says softly. “You shared something…something I would never have dreamt possible for me. You know that I love you both very much. In a way I can’t really name, but…”

“You don’t have to.” Harry leans over and gives him a sweet kiss. “We love you, too.”

“Would luv ya both more if ya’d shut up so I can sleep,” Eggsy mumbles.

Harry smiles at Merlin, kisses Eggsy’s cheek, and lays down next to him. Merlin studies Eggsy for a moment and gently kisses his forehead. “Sweet dreams, lad.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little more Merhartwin naughtiness.

TWENTY-FOUR

Merlin’s awakened in the middle of the night by his very insistent bladder. He sits up and rubs at his eyes. Someone has turned off the main light and a small lamp in the corner casts a dim glow over the room. Merlin’s fairly certain that’s for him, as he’s in a very unfamiliar setting. He slowly slides out of bed but a strong hand grabs his wrist.

“Where ya goin’?”

Merlin smiles. Spies don’t sleep very hard. “Loo…if I have permission.”

“Okay,” Eggsy murmurs, burrowing back against Harry.

Merlin goes to the toilet, washes his hands, and studies himself in the mirror. He’s still not quite sure how he’s gotten where he’s at, but he finds he doesn’t mind that he’s there. He will more than likely have a bit of a breakdown about it when he’s fully awake, but right now he just wants to crawl back into the warm and comfortable bed.

He slips back under the covers. Eggsy scoots over and he’s suddenly in Merlin’s arms, head on Merlin’s chest. “Mmm…good.” Eggsy kisses his chest and rubs his cheek on it. “Soft.”

Merlin looks at Harry and raises an eyebrow. Harry shrugs and smiles to show he doesn’t mind. “He’s a snuggler. I think he was afraid you were leaving.”

“I wouldn’t do that. Wouldn’t sneak out like that,” Merlin promises.

“I’d find ya an’ kick yer gorgeous arse,” Eggsy mumbles against his chest.

“Go to sleep, darling.” Harry moves a little closer, rubs Eggsy’s back. He looks at Merlin. “I’d be upset as well if you did that.”

“I wouldn’t,” Merlin says again. He takes Harry’s hand and kisses it. “Obviously I’m not going anywhere with this monkey wrapped around me.” He looks down at Eggsy and smiles.

“Want a monkey…Harry says no…” Eggsy says sleepily. “Get me a monkey, Merlin?”

“Of course, Eggsy,” Merlin says. “When you come back from a mission with absolutely not a mark on you.”

“Wanker,” Eggsy whispers, finally drifting off.

Merlin falls asleep with a smile on his face, Harry’s hand in his, and Eggsy’s warm naked body tight against him.

Something stirs Merlin into wakefulness a few hours later. He mumbles and opens his eyes, looking immediately toward the others. He snaps fully awake as he realizes what he’s seeing. Eggsy is on his side, facing Merlin, Harry pressed against his back. Eggsy’s eyes are closed, head tucked back on Harry’s shoulder. Harry’s murmuring in his ear, his cock sliding in and out between Eggsy’s strong thighs. Eggsy shudders as the hardness rubs along his balls and cock.

“Someone’s watching you, my boy,” Harry says a bit louder. Eggsy’s eyes fly open. Merlin feels like he’s intruding.

“I can…I can go…”

“No. I was hopin’…Jesus, ‘arry…I was hopin’ you’d wake up,” Eggsy admits. “Want you ta watch…want ya ta touch me…”

“God…the two of you are…sinful…” Merlin manages. 

Harry chuckles and regretfully pulls away from Eggsy to reach for the lube. “I was just telling my husband the same thing…how sinful he was last night…the way he came just from our touch…” Eggsy whimpers as he strokes his cock. “No…no touching,” Harry orders and Merlin quickly captures Eggsy’s hands. “So nice to have an assistant.” He winks at Merlin. He lifts Eggsy’s leg over his own, opening him up. 

Merlin watches him slowly work a finger into Eggsy. “Christ…that’s hot…” Merlin breathes, tightening his grip on Eggsy’s hands.

“Do you like him watching you? Like him watching you take my fingers like the little slut you are?” Harry growls in Eggsy’s ear. Eggsy pulls a hand free and brings his hand back to fist in Harry’s hair.

“Yes…yes, ‘arry…”

Harry twists his finger and Eggsy thrust back to meet it. His cock is dripping and hard. Merlin releases Eggsy’s other hand and gently touches the head. He brings his fingers up and licks them clean. Eggsy moans and Harry adds another finger. “You call me the peacock, yet you’re the one who likes being watched. Don’t you, my little tart?”

“Yes…Merlin…do…do you like…fuck.” Eggsy’s eyes flutter shut. “Do ya like what yer seein’?”

“I do, lad.” He reaches over and strokes Eggsy’s cock once, moving down to cup his balls and hold them out of Harry’s way.

“Eggsy, if you could see what I see…Merlin’s hand is so big…the way he’s holding you.” Harry swallows deeply, voice suddenly hoarse. Merlin slides his hand down a bit further and tilts his head, staring Harry in the eye. Harry understands, nods his head slightly, and Merlin adds his middle finger to Harry’s two that are slip-sliding in and out of Eggsy.

“Fuck, is that…fuckin’ hell!” Eggsy almost shouts. “Jesus…”

“Look at you…our little whore, aren’t you, Eggsy?” Merlin whispers and Eggsy chokes out a breath. “You’ll spread your legs, give your hole up to anyone, won’t you?”

“Please,” Eggsy begs. “Please, ‘arry, please…be so good for you…do whatever you want, whatever both of you want.”

Merlin slowly drags his finger out, letting it slide up Eggsy’s cock along the way. Harry lifts Eggsy’s leg higher and gently pushes inside. Eggsy moans, pushing back against him. “What would you do if you woke up like this, Eggsy?” Merlin whispers to him. Harry groans. “What if you woke up with Harry’s cock inside you? You’d probably like that, wouldn’t you? Even asleep, you’re a filthy little cockslut.”

“Yes…” Eggsy’s eyes are dark and heavy-lidded. He reaches for his cock and Merlin grabs his hands again.

“I think your husband told you no.”

“I do love having someone help me keep you in your place,” Harry snarls in Eggsy’s ear, snapping his hips a bit faster. His hand is tight on Eggsy’s inner thigh, holding his leg up as far as Eggsy can stand. “And this is the perfect place for you…in this bed…letting me fuck you while someone else watches.”

“Merlin,” Eggsy moans. 

Merlin slowly slides down the bed and takes Eggsy’s throbbing cock into his mouth. “God,” Harry says in a strangled tone, slowing his hips. It’s not an easy position, and Merlin won’t be able to do it for long, but he hadn’t tasted Eggsy the night before and he can’t stop from doing it now.

Eggsy strokes his hands over Merlin’s head, gently running them down his neck. “Merlin…your mouth…you are so fuckin’ GOOD…” 

Merlin continues for a few minutes before his neck starts to hurt. He takes Eggsy in as far as he can and holds him there for a minute. He hears Eggsy’s strangled gasp and pulls away. After he releases Eggsy’s cock, he allows his hand to stroke down to where Harry’s thrusting inside of Eggsy, fingers running along Harry as he moves in and out. “You bastard…” Harry gasps. “I’m not going to last if you tease me like that.”

“Who’s teasing?” Merlin asks innocently. He smiles and moves back up the bed. 

“Yer both fuckin’ teasin’,” Eggsy snaps, moving back against Harry with every thrust. 

“Aw, poor boy,” Harry says, sucking on Eggsy’s earlobe. Eggsy sucks in a breath. “What would you like us to do?”

“Fuck me like you mean it,” Eggsy growls. He looks at Merlin. “Wanna see you touch yerself. Wanna see those big hands on that big cock of yers.”

Harry doesn’t reply, just grabs his leg and starts to rock his hips as hard as he can. “I can do that, lad,” Merlin says. “But you look in my eyes while I’m doing it.”

“Fuck,” Eggsy whispers, but he pulls his eyes up to Merlin’s face. 

Merlin slowly works his cock in a way that he knows will keep him from coming until the time is right. Eggsy licks his lips, doing his best to watch Merlin’s face. “Harry?” Merlin asks.

“Close,” Harry mutters, licking a line up Eggsy’s neck.

“Fuck, Haz, I wanna come.”

“Touch yourself,” Harry tells him, and Merlin begins to move his hand a bit faster, tightening his grip.

Eggsy groans and fists his cock, moving his hand hard and fast. “Merlin…come on me…please…want ya ta fuckin’ come on me.” Merlin gasps but shuffles a bit closer. 

“You filthy slag,” Harry gasps, biting down hard on his shoulder as he comes.

“Ah!” Eggsy yells, shoving back onto Harry, pulling him in as deep as he can go. Harry pushes his hand away and grabs his cock.

“Eggsy,” Merlin moans, coming harder than he’d thought possible after what they’d done the night before. He leans towards Eggsy, streaks of come landing on the flat stomach as well as Harry’s hand.

“Fuck, yes,” Eggsy almost screams as he comes, Harry’s teeth still sucking at his shoulder. 

Merlin shudders, finally releasing his softening cock. He rolls onto his stomach, panting for breath. He hears Harry murmuring to Eggsy. “My beautiful boy…that was so gorgeous…so naughty…I love you…love that about you.”

“Love you, too, Harry…” They kiss and Harry slowly rolls out of bed. 

Eggsy looks at Merlin, who has one eye open. “Did we break you?”

“It will take a lot more than that, lad,” Merlin mumbles into the pillow. “However, I will say I haven’t awakened to something so beautiful since…well…ever…”

Eggsy turns pink. “Was afraid we might traumatize ya.”

“You are two of the most gorgeous people on the planet,” Merlin says honestly. “And seeing the two of you like that? Dream, not a nightmare.”

Harry returns and gently cleans Eggsy. He hands a separate cloth to Merlin, who simply uses it to help clean the sheet and Eggsy’s stomach. As soon as they’re done, Eggsy leans over and kisses him. He continues to kiss him as Harry puts the flannels back in the bathroom. “Yer gorgeous, too, ya know.” His hand slowly rubs over Merlin’s head. “Love Harry’s curls…but maybe I could get used ta this, too.”

Merlin smiles as he kisses Eggsy’s forehead. “That’s the orgasm talking.”

Eggsy snorts and rolls over, pressing his back against Merlin’s chest. “Don’t think so.”

“What’s all this?” Harry asks as he returns to the bedroom.

“Merlin was lonely,” Eggsy says sweetly.

“Is that so?” Harry asks. He takes Eggsy by the shoulder and quickly yanks him forward. “Move over a bit, Merlin, if you please. Follow Eggsy.” Merlin shrugs and does as he’s told, and suddenly Harry is snuggled up behind him.

“Oi!”

“Merlin’s lonely,” Harry replies.

It’s so odd having someone his size hold him. Merlin sighs a bit and Eggsy smiles. “Adorable,” Eggsy murmurs. He turns on his side and faces them, holding the hand that Harry has pressed to Merlin’s chest. Merlin falls asleep tucked between them.

 

When Merlin wakens a third time, it’s almost nine o’clock and he’s alone in bed. He yawns, stretches, and sits up. A tee and pair of pajama pants are neatly folded at the bottom of the bed. On top of them is a note in Eggsy’s messy scrawl, telling him to use the en suite shower and come down for breakfast.

Merlin showers and puts on the clothing, which is obviously Harry’s. The pants fit perfectly although the shirt is a bit snug across the chest; he’s a bit more fit than Harry, a thought that pleases him immensely. He pads back to the bedroom in bare feet, realizing the only shoes his has are his oxfords. He shrugs and slips his socks on.

He follows his nose to the kitchen, where Eggsy’s in front of the stove and Harry’s leaning against the counter. They’re both dressed similar to Merlin, although Harry’s wearing his red dressing gown over his pajamas. Eggsy says something that makes Harry chuckle over the rim of his teacup, and Harry responds by leaning over and kissing Eggsy’s forehead. Merlin lingers in the doorway of the kitchen, feeling as if he’s intruding on a very private moment.

Eliza betrays his presence by yipping at his feet. “You don’t make a very good spy, do you, Miss Eliza?” Merlin bends down and pets her. He’s so happy she’s seemed to forgive him for what he’d done the night of Eggsy’s return from Russia.

“Merlin!” Eggsy says, looking delighted to see him. “Thought I was gonna hafta bring ya breakfast in bed.” He leaves his work and comes over to hug him. He pulls back and gives Merlin a bit of a worried look, his body stiff. Eggsy’s hesitating, Merlin can tell. Merlin takes the initiative and bends down to kiss him. Eggsy sighs and lets out what sounds like a purr. “Good morning, gorgeous,” Eggsy murmurs when Merlin breaks the kiss.

“Hello there.”

“Mmmm.” Eggsy stands on tiptoe and tucks his nose into Merlin’s throat. “You used Harry’s bath products…smell like him…wearin’ his clothes…I get ta have two Harrys?”

“You can’t handle one,” Harry tells him. “And God, I hope Merlin only smells and dresses like me. I wouldn’t curse him with my life.”

“Yeah, like it’s such a horrible life,” Eggsy says, rolling his eyes. He kisses Merlin’s chin and goes back to the stove. “Sit down, Merlin. Harry…be a gentleman and give our guest some tea.”

“Yes sir,” Harry says, giving his husband an affectionate look. Merlin sits as Harry pours him a cup of tea. He leans over Merlin from behind to set the tea down, his hands resting on Merlin’s shoulders. “All right?”

Merlin looks up at him. Harry’s smiling but his dark eyes are concerned. “Wonderful,” he promises. He reaches up and squeezes Harry’s hand. He pauses, then tilts his head even more. Harry grins, his eyes bright as he gives him a kiss.

“Behave you two. Breakfast.” Eggsy raps on the table with a spoon. “Don’t make me separate you.”

Merlin and Harry look at each other and laugh. “He’s like a cute little puppy, isn’t he?” Harry asks.

“Oi, fuck off,” Eggsy growls. He plunks a plate down in front of him. “Stuff yer mouth with this or I’ll give ya somethin’ ta stuff it with.”

“Is that a threat or a promise?” Harry asks, his voice low and sultry.

“No wood at the breakfast table, ya kinky fuck,” Eggsy snaps and Merlin roars with laughter.

“Thank you for making breakfast, Eggsy,” Merlin says. “This looks wonderful.”

“Aw, listen ta that. Someone appreciates me.” Eggsy goes over and gives him a long and passionate kiss. 

“Please don’t encourage him, Merlin,” Harry says reprovingly.

“Sorry,” Merlin says, realizing how boring his mornings usually are.

“Shouldn’t you be in tha office already?” Eggsy asks, adding an obscene amount of sugar to his tea. Merlin’s eyes widen. He knows how Eggsy takes his tea but it still shocks him.

“I know. It’s a wonder he hasn’t developed diabetes by now,” Harry says, shaking his head. 

“I messaged Penelope earlier, let her know I’d be late, if I come in at all,” Merlin says, blushing a bit. 

“You deserve a day off,” Eggsy tells him. He winks at him. “I bet if ya kiss up to tha boss, he’d write ya a note, say yer sick.”

“I would never abuse my relationship with Arthur,” Merlin says seriously. Eggsy frowns and looks at his plate. “And I wouldn’t have to. I have enough dirt on him to get him to do whatever I want.”

Eggsy crows with laughter as Harry says, “Is that what you think?”

“It’s what I KNOW,” Merlin says, reaching over to snag a sausage from Harry’s plate.

“It’s so nice havin’ someone on my side,” Eggsy says happily.

“I wouldn’t say that,” Merlin tells him. Eggsy simply pouts and continues eating.

“I think I might take the day off as well,” Harry says. “I just don’t feel motivated to go in today. Can the world take care of itself without Arthur and Merlin at HQ?”

“Cocky bastard,” Eggsy says, clearing Harry’s plate as well as his own.

“Christ, lad, this was good.” Merlin wipes his mouth with his napkin and pushes away from the table a bit. “Best breakfast I’ve had in ages.”

“Good.” Eggsy clears his plate then plops down on his lap. “Had to replenish yer strength…think we wore ya out last night.” He wriggles a bit on Merlin’s lap.

“Sorry, Eggsy…you won’t get much from me today. I’m an old man.” He puts his arms around Eggsy’s waist.

“Not old…just…experienced,” Eggsy says, kissing his cheek. He wriggles a bit more. “Maybe next time I could convince ya ta use that experience on me…in me…” Eggsy licks his neck.

“Next time?” Merlin whispers, surprised.

Eggsy turns bright red as Harry clears his throat. “Listen ta that. Yes, I hear ya, Eliza, ya need ta go out.” Eggsy jumps up, grabs the dog, and hurries out the back door.

Merlin looks at Harry. “I’m not sure what to say right now.”

“Are you angry?”

“No, of course not!” Merlin says immediately. “I…I didn’t want to assume…I…”

Harry sighs. “Can we go talk in another room? The seats are more comfortable.”

“Yes, Harry.” Merlin follows him, worried about where the conversation might go. He hopes he hadn’t caused any sort of problem between them.

They sit in the television room at opposite ends of the sofa. “Merlin, last night was amazing. This morning was amazing. We talked while you were still in bed. We would have absolutely no problem if it happened again.”

“You…you wouldn’t?”

“No. I cannot imagine ever not wanting you to share our bed,” Harry says with a smile. “The frequency, however, would completely be up to you.”

“Harry, last night was like a dream. I still cannot believe it was real.” Merlin rubs at his face. “I am very worried, however, that I could do something to jeopardize your marriage. I don’t want to intrude on anything, don’t want to overstep. Your happiness, and Eggsy’s as well, is very important to me.”

“I believe in my marriage,” Harry says firmly. “I also have faith in you, that you wouldn’t do anything to hurt us.”

“Not intentionally,” Merlin says quickly.

Harry sighs. “This isn’t going well.” They hear Eggsy come in the back door. “Darling, please come in here,” Harry calls.

Eggsy slowly enters the room. “Are ya mad?” He asks Merlin.

“Of course not.” Merlin pats the sofa between he and Harry. Eggsy sits.

“My boy, please explain to Merlin the way you said it to me. He’s worried about harming our marriage if he would come to us again.”

“You idiot,” Eggsy says affectionately. He crawls onto Merlin’s lap. “I love Harry more than anything on tha planet. You know that.” Merlin nods. “And I hope he loves me.” Harry snorts. “Nothing ya could ever do or say could change that, cuz we won’t let it. Ya got me?” Merlin nods again. “What did ya call him? Yer platonic husband? I like that. An’ you an’ me, we have somethin’ special, too, don’t we? We’re more than just regular coworkers, even before all this.” Merlin nods, glad Eggsy’s not expecting him to speak. “We care about ya so much, Merlin. Just wanna take care of ya. I hate that yer all alone. When yer lonely, or stressed, or just horny as fuck, call us, all right? Not yer stupid service. Call us. Ya deserve ta be taken care of by someone who loves ya, not some paid employee.” He wraps himself around Merlin and gives him a hug. “Part of that is because, yeah, last night was hot as FUCK, an’ I’m still hopin’ yer gonna fuck me someday…maybe for my birthday?” He says hopefully. Harry rolls his eyes. “But mostly it’s because we love ya an’ want ya. Okay?”

“At the end of all this, we’re friends, Merlin,” Harry says. “We’ll invite you to dinner, we’ll go out, because we’re friends. If it ends like last night did, that’s fine. If it doesn’t, that’s fine as well.”

“All right,” Merlin says, finally relaxing a bit. Eggsy smiles and slides off his lap. He curls up with Harry, stretching his legs and putting his feet on Merlin’s lap. “But if that would ever change…”

“Yes. We’ll say something,” Harry promises.

Merlin absently begins to massage Eggsy’s feet. Eggsy moans and wiggles his toes. “I…I have a confession to make,” he says finally. Eggsy’s toes stop wiggling. “It’s something I’m very ashamed of, and I could probably let it go without telling you, but it’s weighing on my conscience.” He studies Eggsy’s feet.

“Merlin, look at me,” Harry says sternly. Merlin obeys. “You can always talk to us.”

Merlin sighs. “If you don’t want me after this, I completely understand.” He takes a deep breath. “When I was…under the influence…I watched you. The two of you. When you were intimate.” His face flames.

“When?” Eggsy whispers.

“The night I came over for dinner. Harry answered the door all flushed with his lips swollen and red. When I got home that night…I…I brought up the video feed.”

“There are cameras in this house?” Eggsy gasps.

Harry smacks him on the head. “Don’t be stupid, darling. I’m Arthur. There are cameras here for my safety.”

“He’s right,” Merlin says. “They’ve always been in Arthur’s home. We installed extra cameras when you were on a mission, Eggsy. I thought you knew.”

“I thought you did as well. I’m sorry, Eggsy. I would have mentioned it,” Harry says.

“All Kingsman homes have surveillance. Since your old flat was ransacked, Eggsy, I check all the cameras periodically. I have never looked at the cameras in your bathrooms or the bedroom, though,” Merlin says, deciding it’s best to omit the one time he spied on Harry. “You were in the kitchen. Harry…Harry put you on the counter?”

“Oh. OH.” Eggsy’s eyes widen as he remembers.

“I watched it. It was a complete and utter invasion of your privacy and I apologize. It only happened that one time, and I would never ever do it again.” Merlin gently strokes Eggsy’s feet.

“Stop it, that fuckin’ tickles!” Eggsy says, kicking him a bit.

“It’s fine, Merlin, really.” Harry smiles at him. “I believe you when you say it never happened before.”

“Ya know it really doesn’t matter, right?” Eggsy runs his foot up and down between Merlin’s legs. “Because now ya can watch in person, if ya want to.”

“I might take you up on that,” Merlin says with a smile.

Eggsy pulls his feet up and crawls across the sofa. “I’m countin’ on it,” he whispers, kissing him.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for a bit of a break from the smut.

TWENTY-FIVE

“Eggsy, I’m…” Harry doesn’t get the word out before he’s pushed against the front door.

“Hello, luv,” Eggsy murmurs before he kisses him, hands grabbing at the lapel of Harry’s jacket. Eliza nips at their feet, joyfully barking.

“I…I’m going to come back in again,” Harry says dazedly. 

“Mmm.” Eggsy licks under Harry’s chin. “Just missed ya today. Spent tha day underneath a Porsche, an’ she was fuckin’ sexy, but not as sexy as you.”

“You’re cheating on me with a Porsche? I’m hurt.” Harry smiles and kisses the tip of Eggsy’s ear. He sniffs. “You might want to hide the evidence a bit better, though.”

“Only been home for twenty minutes,” Eggsy tells him. “I had an idea.” He looks up at Harry, eyes wide. “Thought we could take a shower, an’ then order in Thai, an’ then snuggle on tha sofa. We deserve ta pamper each other.”

“That sounds glorious,” Harry agrees. “WE should shower?”

“Yes.” The word is a hiss. “I wanna wash you down from gorgeous head ta adorable toes.”

Harry shivers. “And that’s all you want to do?”

“Well…while I’m down there washin’ yer feet, I might find somethin’ ta distract me on tha way back up.” Eggsy reaches down to stroke between Harry’s legs. “Mmm…feels like ya might be interested?”

“Very,” Harry growls. Eggsy actually giggles before running up the stairs. Harry smiles, filled with love for his very horny husband.

The shower goes exactly as Harry expects. Harry shampoos Eggsy’s hair, loving the way Eggsy moans as his hands work on his scalp. Eggsy does indeed carefully scrub Harry down, and once he’s on his knees he takes Harry’s cock in and sucks him until Harry actually screams when he comes. As soon as he catches his breath, Harry drags Eggsy to his feet, pushes him against the glass door of the shower, and strokes him to orgasm, biting Eggsy’s shoulder.

“Ya know, I think Medical’s beginnin’ ta worry about me,” Eggsy says as he dresses, gingerly touching the mark on his shoulder. “Every time I show up I got new bite marks. They probably think yer abusin’ me.”

“Do you feel abused, my boy? I could stop.” Harry pulls on trousers and a comfortable shirt.

“Horribly abused.” Eggsy pads over in bare feet, still shirtless. “Please, stop, help.”

Harry brushes his thumb over the new bruise and Eggsy shudders. “I can’t help it. You’re so beautiful, I just…get possessive.”

“You can possess me any time, luv.” Eggsy kisses him. “Fuckin’ STARVIN’. Let’s get movin’.” He pinches Harry’s arse and goes to find a shirt.

Eggsy fusses over Harry from the moment they get downstairs. He pours Harry a glass of wine, orders for him, even plates up his food once it arrives. He makes sure Harry’s settled at the table before even getting himself a beer. He shushes Eliza, making sure she stays out of Harry’s way. Harry would be suspicious if he didn’t know that sometimes Eggsy just loved taking care of him. 

He starts to wonder, however, when Eggsy sits on the sofa and instead of cuddling close to Harry he pulls Harry’s feet up onto his lap and begins to massage them. “Turn on that news thing ya like, ‘arry. I don’t mind.”

Now Harry’s lost. Eggsy is a very intelligent man, and likes to be informed, but more often than not he scoffs at the serious shows Harry enjoys and presses to watch something more entertaining. Harry does put his news show on but mutes the television. “What’s going on?”

“Hmm?” Eggsy lays his head on the back of the sofa and smiles at him.

“What’s going on? When you act this way, there are a few reasons why. You broke something, you lost something, you want something, or you’re feeling anxious about my feelings for you.”

“Think ya know me so well, then?” Eggsy arches an eyebrow.

“Let’s see…you acted like this when you overflowed the tub.”

“I fell asleep on tha bed an’ forgot tha water was runnin’.”

“You acted like this when you lost my phone.”

“Ya found it eventually.”

“You acted this way when you wanted me to approve the purchase of a Bugatti for Kingsman.”

“Ya KNOW how fuckin’ hot I woulda looked behind tha wheel of that car, luv?”

Harry pauses. That much is definitely true. Since Eggsy’s started spending time in the garage, Harry’s developed quite the mechanic kink. He files that idea away for later. “Not the point. What’s going on?”

“Mum’s actually goin’ away with some girlfriends next week. Just Saturday ta Sunday. She was gonna ask someone ta watch Daisy, but…I thought maybe she could stay overnight here?”

“Eggsy, I’m ashamed of you,” Harry says sternly.

“Yer right. We can’t do that. I…”

“Why would you think you had to ask? Why would you think you had to butter me up? I thought…I thought we were past all that. I never see your sister as an intrusion. Of course she may stay the night.” Harry’s actually a bit hurt. “Eggsy, do you still see me as an outsider? That you need to ask my permission to bring her into OUR home?”

“Well, no, but…”

“I admit I’m fussy sometimes, and I like things my own way. But your mother and sister are my family now. They’re the only family I have. You don’t have to keep Daisy out of my way. If there are things I don’t want her touching, I’ll put them away while she’s here.”

“Oh, fuck, ‘arry, I’m sorry.” Eggsy can obviously see the hurt in his eyes, because he’s instantly on Harry’s lap. “I know, luv, I know they’re yer family now. I just…overnight’s a pretty big deal. She gets up a lot earlier than we do, an’ we gotta…behave…while she’s here.”

“I don’t want sex from you twenty-four/seven, Eggsy Hart,” Harry says. Eggsy looks at him. “All right, I DO want it twenty-four/seven, but I don’t expect it. I think I’m able to control myself around you for the time she’s here.”

“I’ll make it up to you after,” Eggsy promises. 

“You’re going to wear me out before we ever go on our anniversary trip,” Harry groans. “I’ll have nothing left.”

“Wait a minute.” Eggsy pulls back to look at him. “Ya ain’t gonna pull tha thing ya did before our honeymoon, are you? The whole celibacy thing? Because fuck that.”

Harry laughs. “No. I think we can have sex sometime within the next two weeks and it will be all right.”

“Good, because even though tha sex was AMAZIN’, the blue balls leadin’ up ta it were NOT.” Eggsy reaches for his phone. “I’ll text Mum an’ let her know we’ll have Daisy. Thanks, ‘arry.” Eggsy gives him a sweet kiss and snuggles next to him. Harry unmutes the television.

After about ten minutes, Harry mutes the television again. “I have an idea. Please tell me if you think it’s stupid.” Eggsy waits. “I’ll stay somewhere else that night. I’ll sleep at the suite.”

“What? No, ‘arry, why?”

“You haven’t had quality time with Daisy in ages. I want you two to be alone together. Not because she’s an annoyance or because I don’t want to spend time with her. This is very special, and I want it to just be about you two.”

“Are…are ya sure?”

“I am, my boy. I haven’t spent time with Merlin in a while. Perhaps he and I can grab dinner, and then I’ll go to the suite.”

“Just dinner, huh?” Eggsy winks at him.

“Yes, just dinner.” Harry sighs. It’s been a few weeks since their encounter with Merlin, and while he’d enjoyed it (and he knew Eggsy had), Merlin hadn’t asked for anything else. Their relationship hadn’t changed, however, and that was the most important thing. “Like we’d do anything without you.”

“I know. But I can fantasize about it.” Eggsy winks again. “Thanks again, ‘arry. I am lookin’ forward ta alone time with her.”

“Of course, my darling boy.” He kisses Eggsy’s forehead and unmutes the television again.

 

The next morning Harry is congratulating himself as he heads for Merlin’s office. He’d overslept his alarm and managed to make it in to HQ in record time. Of course he was still a half-hour late, but no one would dare say anything to Arthur. It wasn’t his fault, really. Eggsy’d insisted on sleeping naked the night before, and although nothing had happened, he couldn’t find it in himself to fall asleep with something that beautiful pressed up against him. So of course he overslept.

He really isn’t looking forward to the financial meeting they’d scheduled, although he knew it was a necessary part of Arthur’s duties. Thankfully Merlin usually tried to slip in some extravagant purchase, which led to arguing, which always made the meetings eventful.

“Can you fit it in? I mean, I know it’s big.” Harry stops outside Merlin’s open door, all oxygen sucked out of his lungs at his husband’s words.

“Not that big, lad. I’ve worked with bigger.”

“I’m sure you have. Probably yer whole life. But ya promised it would fit! I’m beggin’ ya, Merlin.”

“Christ, you’re such a child sometimes.”

“You promised you’d do this for me. You promised weeks ago.”

“You haven’t exactly given me time to work on it.”

Harry leans his head against the wall, taking a few calming breaths. Apparently he’s just as bad as Eggsy, because he’s hearing things in this conversation that obviously aren’t true. First of all, Eggsy is WAY too calm to have Merlin’s large dick up his arse. Secondly, and most importantly, Harry knows they would never betray him in this manner. He straightens up and knocks on the wall. “Merlin?”

He hears a scuffling sound, a drawer opening and closing. “Yes, Arthur. Oh, is it that time already?” Merlin’s looking at his watch as Harry enters the office.

“Tristan, why are you bothering Merlin?”

“Because it brightens his day?” Eggsy suggests.

Merlin coughs a bit. “Yes. That’s exactly what you do.” He rolls his eyes.

“Well, if you have nothing else to do, Agent Tristan, you could sit in on our financial meeting. I’m sure you’d learn a thing or two,” Harry suggests, pouring himself a cup of tea.

“Ya know what? I’m due…somewhere. Yep, an’ I’m late.” Eggsy bounces over and gives Harry a quick kiss. “Luv ya, ‘arry.” He stops by Merlin’s desk and gently squeezes his shoulder “See ya later, Merlin.”

“Bye, lad,” Merlin says, obviously amused. “So, shall we get down to business?”

“Before we do…” Harry sits. “Are you free on Saturday evening?”

Merlin sits back in his chair. “Let me check my very busy social schedule. Yes…I think I can fit you in. Harry, you know I have no life.”

“I never know what you have planned. You could secretly be planning on overthrowing the government for all I know.”

“True,” Merlin says, and Harry’s momentarily worried. “What do you need?”

“Eggsy’s sister is staying overnight for the first time. I told him I’d make myself scarce so they could have quality time together. I’m going to stay here for the night, but I thought you might want to go for dinner. There’s a French restaurant that opened last month I’ve been dying to try, and Eggsy absolutely hates French cuisine.”

“France,” Merlin says with a sigh. “One of our better missions.”

“Definitely,” Harry says with a grin. “They never saw us coming.”

“More importantly, they never saw us leaving,” Merlin chuckles. “Of course. I’d love to have dinner with you, Harry.”

“Splendid. Now, what money are you trying to squeeze out of me this time?”

“It’s about the shoes,” Merlin begins and Harry groans. 

 

By Friday Eggsy is almost giddy with delight. He cannot believe he gets his flower to himself overnight. He has so much he wants to do, things he’d always wanted to do when he was almost seven. He wants to take her to the zoo, wants to take her for fancy ice cream sundaes. He wants to walk by the river with her, maybe get her picture painted by one of the artists who do caricatures. He wants to wake up Sunday morning and have breakfast in bed with her, then go down and watch cartoons all morning. 

He bounces into Merlin’s office without knocking. “Hey, Merlin did ya finish…oh, hello, Arthur.” He immediately stops bouncing and tries to look professional. Harry sits by Merlin’s desk along with his assistant, Juliet, and Alan. “Juliet, hello. Percival.”

“Good afternoon, Agent Tristan,” Juliet says politely. She’s always been a nice girl, although a bit shy. She’s very pretty, and if Eggsy didn’t think Harry’s tastes ran 100% the other way, he’d probably have felt threatened. 

“Please have a seat, Tristan, we’re almost done here,” Harry says, and Eggsy sits by the door. “So if what you’re saying is true, Merlin, Percival should be ready to go…”

“I’d say Sunday, perhaps Monday,” Merlin says. “If that’s ample time to prepare, Percival.”

“Quite,” Alan says in a bored tone, studying his fingernails. 

“All right then.” Harry stands. “Juliet, if you could switch some things on my calendar so I’m free Monday morning? Percival has been taking care of some things for me, and I’ll need to do some rearranging now that he’ll be gone.” 

“Of course, sir.” Juliet nods at him and leaves.

“Charming little thing, isn’t she?” Alan says once the door closes. “Quite devoted to you.”

“Shut it,” Merlin snaps at him. “You’ve been dying for a mission, you’re getting one.” He frowns as he studies his computer, angrily tapping at the keys.

“I was just saying,” Alan drawls. He turns to Eggsy. “How do you like your husband’s assistant, Eggsy?”

“Fuck off, Alan.” Eggsy has very little patience with Alan lately, ever since the quip he’d made at Merlin’s expense. Merlin’s forgotten about it. Eggsy hasn’t. 

“Lad,” Merlin says with a sigh. He sounds sad and Eggsy’s immediately worried. “I need you to go on an extraction.”

“I’m on it. When?” He rarely gets to do extractions. It seems he’s always the one being extracted.

“Tomorrow.”

“Okay, I’ll be…wait. Fuck!” Eggsy jumps to his feet. “Tomorrow?”

“There’s no one else you can send?” Harry asks softly.

“No. Kay…Dagonet…Caradoc…they’re all out in the field. It should be easy, fly into Madrid, retrieve Mordred, fly back out. I obviously can’t send Alan; he’s going back undercover in a few days. My hands are tied.” Merlin looks at Eggsy sympathetically. “I’d go myself if I could, lad.”

“What’s going on?” Alan asks, confused.

“I’ll go,” Harry says. Eggsy wants to kiss him and kick him at the same time.

“No,” he and Merlin say as one. 

“You can’t go in tha field. Yer fuckin’ Arthur. It’s fine. I’ll just…I’ll call Mum an’ tell her she gotta find someone else.” Eggsy’s heart is in his shoes.

“It’s only an extraction. I’ll be fine.”

“Harry, I will not send you into the field. Don’t be stupid,” Merlin snaps.

“Exactly,” Eggsy says, slowly pulling out his phone.

“What’s going on, for God’s sake?” Alan repeats.

“Eggsy was supposed to have his little sister overnight tomorrow. He’s been planning it all week,” Merlin finally answers.

“Put your phone away, Eggsy,” Harry orders. “She’ll still come over. I will watch her.”

Three mouths fall open. “You? By yerself?” Eggsy whispers.

“I’m sure she’s as excited as you are, and your mother deserves this time away without the added worry of someone watching Daisy. I’ve done some pretty incredible things in my life. I think I can watch a six-year-old overnight.” Harry blushes a little. “I’m no substitute for the wonderful Eggsy Unwin-Hart, but hopefully I can entertain her.”

Alan bursts into laughter. “You? Having a sleep over with a child?”

“Alan, seriously. Do you ever think before you open your mouth?” Merlin growls. “If you’d like, Harry, I can stop by and bring dinner or something. That way you’re not alone all night. We got along at the wedding.”

“Are ya sure about this, luv?” Eggsy comes over to stand in front of Harry’s chair. “Really?”

“Yes. You might even be back before she goes home, if you’re leaving early tomorrow. Just text your mother and explain the situation. I’ll pick her up at as scheduled, and we’ll have a lovely time.”

“Fuck, yer incredible.” Eggsy bends down and kisses him, wondering how in the world he’s gotten so lucky.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chapter of the fluffiest fluff. Also, excuse the Doctor Who reference...I couldn't help it.

TWENTY-SIX

Harry takes a few deep breaths before knocking on Michelle’s door. It’s half-ten, and normally he wouldn’t even be out of his dressing gown yet on his day off. He pastes on a smile when she opens it. “Good morning, Michelle.”

“Good morning, Harry.” She steps aside so he can come in. “Daisy! Harry’s here!”

“Looking forward to your getaway?” He asks her.

“Yes.” She cannot keep the smile from her face. “Can’t remember the last time I got to go away with the girls.” Daisy plods up the hall from her bedroom, dragging her rucksack behind her. “Daisy, pick that up, please. You don’t want to get it dirty.”

Daisy picks it up just enough to keep it from touching the floor. “Hello, Daisy,” Harry says, inwardly cringing. The little girl looks absolutely miserable.

“Hello, Harry,” she says sullenly.

“Now, Daisy, you stop this instant. We talked about this. You’re very lucky Harry is allowing you to come stay. You’ll have a nice time,” Michelle says.

“It’s all right, Michelle,” Harry says immediately. “Come along, Daisy. I’m sure your mother has a lot of things to get ready.”

“Bye, Mum,” Daisy says gloomily. She hugs her mother and goes out the door.

“You have my number,” Michelle says.

“I’m sure we’ll be fine,” Harry says. “Have a wonderful time.” He follows Daisy outside and finds her sitting on the steps. “Ready?” She shrugs and goes down to the car. He’s never seen her this quiet. He helps her into the car and buckles her in. He gets behind the wheel, starts the car, then turns it back off.

“Thank you for having me over,” she says politely, looking out the window. He turns around to look at her. “Mum said I should say it.”

“Usually you say it AFTER you’ve had a nice time,” Harry gently points out. “But that was very good of you.” He pulls something from his trouser pocket. “I have a list here of things Eggsy wanted you to do this weekend.”

Daisy’s lower lip starts to tremble. “Zoo…ice cream sundaes…walk by the river…I know.” A tear splashes down her cheek. “I really wanted to do that with him. He…he said we could ride on the Tube. But…your car is nice, I guess.”

Harry looks down at the list, realizing he cannot take this away from his husband. This was supposed to be his special weekend, too. “Well, my dear, you will have to wait to do those things.” He refolds the paper and puts it in his pocket. “Because I don’t know how to do any of them. I don’t know where the zoo is, I’m allergic to the river…well, I cannot say I won’t do ice cream, because I love ice cream. But I really don’t like sundaes. So all of that will have to be with Eggsy.”

Daisy sniffles and brightens a bit. “What will we do, then?”

“What would you like to do?” She shrugs again. He realizes she’s probably never been given the opportunity to truly do anything she wants. He studies her for a moment. She’s wearing a shirt with a pony on it, and there are horses on her rucksack, pink and blue and purple ponies. “I suppose I can come up with something. The first thing we have to do is go back to the house and park the car.”

“Why?”

“Because driving around the city is simply dreadful. I don’t know what I was thinking.” He starts the car and pulls out. “And then parking? Ridiculous what this city charges.”

“Ridiculous,” she agrees, smiling a bit.

“Why should I pay to park when I can spend that money on something much more important?”

“What?”

“You, my dear. Tell me…have you ever been to Hyde Park?”

It turns out she hasn’t, and she asks him a multitude of questions as they drive back to the house, park the car, and drop her bag in the house. “So…it’s not the park we went to with Eggsy?”

“Oh, no. It’s a large park with fountains, and gardens, and do you know what else?” She shakes her head, skipping as she holds his hand. “The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge live there.” Her mouth drops open. “But it’s quite unlikely we’ll see them, so don’t get your hopes up.”

Harry has never seen someone so happy to ride the Tube. She cheerfully waits to go through the gate, and hops up and down as the train blows to a stop in front of them. She chatters a mile a minute as they stand on the car, tugging at his hand the entire time. “Are we going to walk around the whole thing, Harry?” She gapes at the expanse of green when they arrive at the park.

“No…I was thinking one part in particular.” He quickly gets out his phone and taps at it a bit with one hand, not wanting to let go of her. Eggsy would castrate him if he lost his little sister. “We have a bit of a walk. We’ll cut through.”

“Cutting through” is easier said than done, as Daisy constantly has to stop and look at things. He thought Eggsy had a short attention span; Daisy is almost twice as bad. But it’s so easy to forgive when faced with the pure joy and curiosity on her face. 

“Are we almost there?”

“Yes, dear. We’re here.”

She stops walking. “Those are horses.”

“They are.”

“They’re big.” She hides behind him as they approach the stable.

“Shame, that.” Harry exaggerates his sigh as he checks his phone again. “I guess I’ll have to respond to this request and tell them you’re not interested.”

“Not interested in what?”

“The nice man at the stable texted me and asked if I knew anyone willing to ride a pony. I immediately thought of you, but if you’re afraid, I’ll have to send my apologies.”

“I’m not afraid of anything,” she says fiercely, and Eggsy is written all over her face.

“Of course you aren’t. My mistake.” 

Harry takes her into the stable and speaks to the man in charge. He’s glad he has his phone out, because the look on her face as she’s seated on the brown pony is priceless, and he takes about ten pictures as soon as she’s up. “Harry, I’m on a horse!” She shouts as the man slowly leads her around. “I’m on a horse.”

“Yes you are, my dear,” Harry says, beaming with pride. 

“Are you gonna ride, too, Harry?”

“Yes, love, your Daddy’s gonna ride, too, but I’m going to be with you and lead your pony, all right? She doesn’t know you so I need to calm her,” the groom says, hopping up on his own horse. 

Harry blushes a bit as he easily climbs into the saddle. “He’s not my Daddy,” Daisy says immediately. “He’s my Harry.” Harry bends down to check the reins and halter, cursing the tears that threaten to fall into the thick mane.

 

“I should have known you’d be late.” Merlin stands up and stretches. “I’ve been sitting on this step for almost twenty minutes.”

“I texted you,” Harry says. “And it’s not like you don’t know the security protocol.”

“An hour ago. I knew better and waited to come. And I wasn’t about to just let myself into your home. Hello there, Miss Daisy,” Merlin says, smiling down at her. A glitter rainbow is painted on the side of her face. 

“Do you remember our friend Merlin, Daisy?” Harry asks. “I thought he could join us for dinner.”

“I do remember you. Hello.” She holds up a stuffed pony. “I have a pony. Her name is Lillybelle.”

“She’s beautiful,” Merlin says. He follows Harry inside. “Your rainbow is, too.”

“I know. I told Harry he should get one, too, but he said it wouldn’t stay as nice on his face cuz he’s a gentleman.”

“That’s a shame. I’m sure he would have looked very handsome with a glitter rainbow on his face,” Merlin says innocently. Harry glares at him.

“I got it after we rode ponies through Hyde Park. Harry can ride all by himself. I needed the man to lead me cuz it was my first time. But Harry says he’ll take me back, maybe I can have lessons,” Daisy continues as they head for the kitchen to let Eliza out. “And then we went and looked at dollhouses and played with blocks. Harry made a tower taller than me, and it didn’t even fall over!”

“So you CAN build things and not just destroy them,” Merlin says to Harry. “Interesting. Dollhouses, did you say?”

“We went to the Museum of Childhood,” Harry tells him. “Daisy, could you please take Eliza out? Stay in the yard, don’t go through the gate.”

“Yes, Harry.” Daisy opens the back door and Eliza follows her outside.

“Sounds like a busy day,” Merlin says. “I can’t imagine you looking at dollhouses.”

“It was quite fascinating, actually. She didn’t recognize it, of course, but it was very educational. The houses reflected different time periods…there must have been close to a hundred. And a whole collection of construction toys! I think I’ll go back and take Eggsy…he would enjoy that.”

“She went potty, Harry, she needs a treat,” Daisy announces upon her return to the house. Harry hands Daisy the treat and she waits for Eliza to sit. She hands her the treat and claps as she takes it politely. 

“What are you hungry for, Daisy? Your brother planned on you eating out, I think.” Harry starts poking through cupboards.

“Fish fingers and custard,” Daisy announces.

Harry whirls around. “I beg your pardon?”

“She said fish fingers and custard, Harry.” Merlin looks absolutely delighted and Harry is even more confused. “Have you ever had them, Miss Daisy?”

“No. But the magic man on telly loved them the day he was born. The little girl made it, and I want to try it. And Mum never lets me. I thought maybe today…”

“The magic man on telly?” Harry is lost.

“Yes! He’s very silly and he has a magic torch that does all sorts of things. Sometimes I don’t understand it and sometimes it’s scary, but Mum lets me watch it because I’m six.”

“You mean the Doctor, Daisy?” Merlin asks.

“Oh, good LORD, not that ridiculousness,” Harry groans.

“Yes! That’s him. That’s his name. And he has a friend named Amy…Amelia, really. I wish my name was Amelia. And…” She studies Merlin. “She talks like you.”

“Yes, we’re both from Scotland,” Merlin says, amused.

“Do you KNOW her?” Daisy gasps.

“No, I’m afraid not,” Merlin apologizes.

“Do you know everyone in London, Daisy?” Harry asks and she shakes her head. “That’s just a city. Scotland is an entire country. It would be very difficult for Merlin to know everyone.”

“So can we, Harry? Fish fingers and custard?” Daisy’s big blue eyes remind him of Eggsy.

“Well, I know where she got THAT look from,” Merlin says. 

“I’m afraid I don’t have anything like that here,” Harry says. Her face falls.

“Well, Harry, you know where to get it. There’s a grocer just down the street. Why don’t you go get some, and Miss Daisy and I will watch some Doctor Who. I can pull up any episode on Harry’s special television,” Merlin tells her, leading her out of the kitchen. 

And that’s how Harry finds himself making frozen fish fingers for dinner. Thankfully the grocer had large containers of ready-made custard for sale, and he got the largest one they had. Michelle texts him and asks how things are going, and he’s responding to her when Merlin enters the kitchen. “Another ten minutes.” Harry motions to the pot. “Tea?” Merlin nods and makes himself a cup.

“You’re a good man, Harry Hart,” Merlin says seriously. “I know how much you’ve stepped out of your comfort zone today.”

“She deserves it.”

“That’s not what you’re doing it. You’re doing it because you love her, and you love her brother.” Merlin comes over and hugs him. “I’m proud of you, if it matters.”

“It does.”

“You didn’t need me here at all,” Merlin says.

“I did. I would have had no clue what to do with fish fingers and custard,” Harry admits.

They chat a bit as they wait for dinner to be ready. “Harry, can I ask you a question?” Daisy lingers in the door of the kitchen.

“Of course, Daisy.”

“You kiss Eggsy, right?”

Merlin clears his throat and watches Harry carefully. Harry glares at him. “Yes, Daisy, I do.”

“Do you give him movie kisses?”

Merlin looks as confused as Harry feels. “Movie kisses?”

“You know. Like in grown up movies.” She closes her eyes and begins flicking her tongue all around in a grotesque fashion, rubbing her hands up and down an imaginary person’s back.

Merlin quickly looks away, suddenly intrigued by one of the kitchen cabinets. “Oh. Those kisses,” Harry says weakly.

“I saw it one of Mummy’s movies once. I was supposed to be asleep and I came out for a drink of water and it was on the telly. Do you do that?”

“Sometimes,” Harry says finally.

“Do you like it? Because it looks gross.”

“Sometimes it can be gross, if the person isn’t good at it. But I most definitely like it with Eggsy.” 

“Does he like it with you? I mean, cuz you’re good at it?”

Merlin chokes on his drink and Harry wants to punch him. “I would hope so. Usually when you love someone, you like any kind of kisses.”

“Oh.” She ponders that for a moment. “Can you teach me that?”

Merlin spits out a mouthful of tea. Daisy runs over to thump his back as he coughs. “No, darling,” Harry says quickly. “No one can really teach you, it’s something you need to learn on your own. When you’re older. Much much older.”

“Older like Merlin?”

“Yes. Older like Merlin. ANCIENT,” Harry emphasizes.

“Oh, okay.” She skip out of the room.

Harry looks at Merlin. “If you breathe one word of this, I will end you.”

 

“So you said Eggsy sleeped in this room before?” Daisy stands in the doorway of the guest room.

“Slept. Yes. When I was hurt, and he had to take care of me.” Harry sighs as he looks at the piles of clothing and shoes strewn throughout the room. “And as you can see, it’s like he’s still here.”

“He’s messy. He’s always been messy. Mum always yelled at him.”

“I might have to start yelling, too,” Harry says. “Let’s go to wash up. Grab your toothbrush.” She gets her toothbrush and follows him to the hallway toilet. “I’ll leave the light on in the hallway so you can find your way here in the night if you need to,” he tells her. He soaps up a flannel and helps her wash her face, and then she brushes her teeth.

“Harry, do you have kids?”

Harry blinks, not expecting the question. “No, my dear, I don’t. I have never been that lucky.”

“Didn’t you ever want them?”

“Well…I was always so busy with work,” Harry says slowly. “And when I was growing up, a man only had children with a…with a wife.”

“And you didn’t want a wife, because you wanted Eggsy.”

Harry smiles. “Well, I didn’t meet him back then, but I suppose I must’ve been waiting for him.”

“You could have kids now. Eggsy likes kids.”

“I think I’m a little too old to have children, Daisy. I’d probably be terrible at it.”

“No!” She hugs him and almost knocks him over. “You’re the best, Harry. Even if you didn’t know what fish fingers and custard was.”

“Thankfully I had you to teach me.” Harry hugs her back. “Now into your nightgown and off to bed, young lady.”

“Now you sound like a parent.” She groans dramatically and he laughs. He waits outside the bedroom for her to change and then tucks her in. “Thank you for having me over, Harry,” she says, peeking at him over the covers. “I’ve had a simply lovely time.”

“So have I, Daisy.” He kisses her forehead. “Sweet dreams. Come get me in the night if you need me.”

 

Eggsy quickly undoes the protocols on the door, almost getting it out of order in his haste. He’s been texting Harry for almost twenty minutes with no response. His mind runs to the absolutely worst things it can come up with…they’re dead in a gutter somewhere. Someone’s broken in and killed them. They’re in the A&E with broken bones.

He’s shocked when Eliza doesn’t even come to greet him. It’s two o’clock on Sunday afternoon, and Daisy’s supposed to go back home at six. He’s hoping they can do something fun together…as long as they’re still alive.

He hears the television and slowly heads towards the sound. What he sees makes him stop short, tears quickly filling his eyes. Doctor Who is on the television, but no one’s watching it. Harry is laying on the sofa in grey trousers and Eggsy’s favorite cardigan. He’s fast asleep, as is Daisy, who is stretched out on top of him holding a stuffed horse. Eliza sleeping’s in a ball on the floor by the sofa. Eggsy wipes away his tears, takes about twenty pictures with his phone, and finally goes over to awaken the two people he loves most in the world.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I apologize that these chapters come one after the other sometimes; I meant for 27/28 to be one chapter, but it went so long it had to be broken into two.

TWENTY-SEVEN

Merlin strides down the hall, frowning at his clipboard. Something just doesn’t seem right about this mission, and he can’t put his finger on it. Dagonet and Degore have been on site in Africa for almost a week. They were to observe the comings and goings at a warehouse suspected of holding not only weapons, but victims of human trafficking. It’s a delicate situation; they can’t risk harming the innocent people more than likely inside. He’s been reading everything can read, calling in favors, searching every place he has eyes, but it seems like it’s going to flip on its arse at any moment.

“But Harry, it’s our holiday. Do you really need to take more than three suits?” Eggsy says, turning the corner and almost running into Merlin. “Merlin!” Eggsy steadies himself with strong hands on Merlin’s biceps. “So sorry, mate.”

“Quite all right,” Merlin says. “Excuse me.” He steps around them and continues to his office. To his surprise they follow him, continuing to bicker along the way.

“I’m comfortable in a suit. I still do not know why it’s such a crime to you,” Harry says. “Merlin, can I make you tea?”

“Yes, thank you.” Merlin sits at his desk and tries to ignore them. 

“It’s not a CRIME, but they’re such a pain in tha arse…gotta make sure they don’t wrinkle…why waste space in yer luggage? Ya got nice trousers…ya look just as delicious in them.” 

“Well, then, we’ll set a limit as to how many bags we may take. Perhaps then the number of trainers will decrease significantly.” 

“Oi! Don’t fuck with my shoes, bruv.”

“Merlin says the house is basically a cottage. I’m sure there isn’t a lot of space for extra shoes.” Harry prepares Merlin’s tea and puts the cup on the desk. “Isn’t that right, Merlin?”

“Probably,” Merlin says vaguely. He frowns as he realizes one of the security cameras as the facility is out. “Fuck,” he mutters, fingers flying over the keys. They need that camera.

“Merlin’s just gonna say that because he’s known ya for a thousand years,” Eggsy says. “Besides, I was only plannin’ on takin’ four pair.”

“Two pair too many,” Harry retorts.

“We’re takin’ tha jet ta Edinburgh, an’ then we’re rentin’ a car. We’ll have lots of room. An’ PLEASE tell me yer not getting’ us some old man car.” Eggsy tilts back in his chair and puts his feet against the side of Merlin’s desk. “Merlin, it’s a nice drive, right? So we should have a nice car?”

Merlin slams his computer shut and glares at him before shoving his feet to the floor. “I don’t give a fuck WHAT kind of car you get, Agent Tristan. This is my office. I’m trying to get some work done. Would it KILL you to act like you’re here to do your job and not wag your tongue all day? Or does the idea of how a Kingsman knight should behave totally elude you?”

Merlin regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth, and he feels even worse when he sees the look on Eggsy’s face. “I’m sorry, Merlin. This is the second time you’ve had to scold me about my attitude in the office. I assure you that I have a great deal of respect for my position as a Kingsman knight.” His accent is crisp and perfect. Merlin wants to stab himself in the heart as he remembers the last time he’d said something of this sort, when he’d been under the influence of the drug. “I apologize.” He turns on one heel and heads for the door.

“No, Tristan…Eggsy…wait…” Merlin says helplessly as the door shuts behind him. “Fuck.” He sits down, rubbing at his face.

“I will not hear you talk to him like that again.” Harry’s voice is like ice. “His heart is enormous, and you hold a large part of it. You will not take advantage of that.”

“Harry, I know, I’m…” Harry’s out the door before Merlin can finish his apology.

 

Eggsy disappears and Harry doesn’t try to find him. He knows he’s probably at the garage, the kennel, or the driving course. As much as he wants to hug his husband and make the hurt go away, he is first and foremost Arthur and he cannot run around soothing every knight when their feelings get hurt. He goes back to his desk and frowns at the stack of reports he has to read over. He hates his job sometimes.

He reads through them for over an hour, making notes and signing documents. He finally gives in and texts Eggsy, telling him he’s one of the best knights Kingsman has, and that he loves him. He smiles as he’s rewarded with a smiley face with hearts for eyes. He finishes his pile of reports and sits back in his chair, closing his eyes. He rests for a moment, then opens his computer. He enters his security code and logs into the mission Merlin’s currently handling.

“We can’t find them anywhere, Merlin,” he hears Dagonet say. “They have to be here. Heat signatures off the charts.”

“Have you gone downstairs?”

“There IS no downstairs. I can’t find an access door anywhere.”

“According to the plans, there is some some sort of storage area below ground. I’ll look further.”

“Wait,” Degore says. “That room there.” His glasses turn to a tiny door.

“Broom closet, remember?” Dagonet says.

“There’s no broom closet on the plans I’m looking at, gentlemen,” Merlin says. “Get in there and find out.”

“Yes, sir,” they say as one.

Harry’s watching Dagonet’s glasses feed as they sneak around a few corners and into the warehouse. “I’ll cover you,” Degore whispers. “Get the door open.” He sees Dagonet’s hands work at the door knob. “Who locks a broom closet?”

“Must be pretty expensive brooms,” Dagonet mumbles, and Degore snickers. He gets the door open and they go into the tiny room.

“Behind the cabinet,” Degore says immediately. They slide a large supply cabinet out of the way and are greeted by the sight of a metal door. “Well, then.”

The door opens into a small stairwell. Guns are drawn as they slowly walk down. They hear someone sobbing. “They’re down here!” Dagonet almost yells in a whisper. 

“Doorway to the left,” Degore points out. “Alarm doesn’t seem activated.” He points to a small box by the door, where a light blinks red. 

Harry realizes at the last moment what that means. “No!” He yells, jumping to his feet. They cannot hear him, of course, and Degore reaches for the doorknob. Harry’s seen that sort of keypad before. It’s not to unlock the door. It’s to turn off the security on the door, which is usually an explosive of some sort. Degore turns the knob and there’s a suddenly flash of light, large boom of sound, and then the feed on Dagonet’s glasses goes blank.

Harry stares at the monitor in shock, waiting for Dagonet to say something. He changes to Degore’s glasses and gets the same result. “Dagonet…Degore…status update,” he hears Merlin say. His voice is shaking. “I repeat, status update. This is an order. Update immediately.” Merlin’s voice cracks on the last syllable.

Harry picks up his phone. He doesn’t have time to go looking for Eggsy. “Where are you?”

“Runnin’ a few laps, burnin’ off steam,” Eggsy tells him. “Just finished.”

“I need you in Merlin’s office NOW.”

“Look, ‘arry, I’m not really interested in…”

“Eggsy, get to Merlin’s office immediately.” He hangs up and hurries out of his office.

 

Merlin checks the scanners for a fifth time. All heat signatures in that area of the warehouse are gone. Security cameras still in working order show men running around trying to put the fire out. He doesn’t see his agents or any of the people who’d been trapped downstairs.

His office door flies open. “Merlin.”

“Arthur, not now, if you please.”

“I saw it. I was watching it. I saw what happened.” Harry’s pale and his eyes are wide. “Christ, Merlin. We lost them.”

“No. I lost them.” Merlin slowly closes his computer.

“Okay, ‘arry, I’m here. What’s up yer arse?” Eggsy comes into the office wearing running shorts and a tee. “Hope this isn’t too unprofessional for ya, Merlin.” He points to his clothing then takes a good look at Merlin. “Jesus.” He closes the door. “What happened?”

“Dagonet and Degore are gone,” Harry whispers.

“And probably twenty to thirty civilians,” Merlin adds.

“Christ.” Eggsy falls into the closest chair.

“I sent them in there. They couldn’t find the door to the basement and I told them to keep looking. They found it, and I told them to go in. They weren’t prepared. If they would have taken more time, they would have seen that the door was armed.”

“Merlin, no. You didn’t rush them into anything,” Harry insists. “I was watching. You did everything by the book. If anyone is to blame, it’s me. I should have made sure we were certain about a lot of things before I gave you the approval to send them in.”

“This thing was wrong from the beginning. I couldn’t get what was going on, everything’s been fucked from the start. I should have pulled them yesterday.” Merlin focuses on Eggsy, who looks horrified. “Lad, I’m sorry I said what I did. I was angry that I couldn’t fix the situation and I was having a hard time concentrating when you were talking. I should have dealt with it better.” Merlin’s stomach is starting to knot and he’s suddenly thankful he skipped breakfast.

“Fuck all that.” Eggsy stands up and comes to the desk. “Over an’ done. We shouldn’t have been usin’ yer office like our own personal break room. Tell us to fuck off whenever ya want. Or at least me…maybe not Arthur.” He walks behind Merlin and begins to gently massage his shoulders. “This wasn’t yer fault, Merlin. You did yer job. Harry said so. Not yer fault, sweetheart.”

Eggsy has only called him that once, the night in the bedroom. Merlin welcomes the pet name, spoken in gentle tones. His hands are strong as they work the muscles in Merlin’s neck. “I must disagree with you, Eggsy, but thank you.” He reaches up and squeezes one of Eggsy’s hands.

Harry goes to the tiny liquor cabinet in the corner and gets out a bottle of Scotch. He pours them each a glass and brings the glasses to the desk. He’d stopped the antiquated practice of toasting fallen knights at the Table. He will send a message out later, explaining what had happened and inviting the knights to honor their fallen comrades in their own way. Eggsy stops massaging and picks up his glass. “To Dagonet and Degore…two crazy fucks who lived the hell out of life,” Eggsy says.

“To Dagonet and Degore, brave Kingsman who gave their lives to save the innocent.” Harry holds up his glass.

“To Dagonet and Degore.” Merlin holds up his glass briefly before downing the Scotch in one gulp. Eggsy pauses before handing over his glass untouched. Merlin nods his thanks and drinks that as well.

“Would ya like ta be alone right now, Merlin?” Eggsy whispers. Merlin pauses, then nods. “All right.” He tugs at Merlin’s jumper until he stands. “Call us if ya need us, all right?” His blue eyes are worried. “I mean it. No matter what. For anything.”

“I’ve dealt with this before, lad. But thank you.” Eggsy nods and surprises him by giving him a gentle kiss on the mouth.

“He’s right. Anything, Merlin. This is not your fault. I watched it. Not your fault,” Harry says sternly. Merlin nods. They leave the office after Eggsy gives him one more worried look. Merlin sighs and sits back down, head falling into his hands. 

 

“Do ya need me ta do anything?” Eggy asks Harry sorrowfully. “Can I help at all?”

“No, my boy, thank you for asking. I need to go write the message and send it out.” Harry sighs. “This is not one of the better parts of my job.” He wraps himself around Eggsy, not caring who sees. “I love you so very much. I’m so glad you’re safe.”

“I love you, too, Haz.” Eggsy buries his face in Harry’s shirt. “Do they have family?” He straightens up. “If they do, I’ll be the one to go tell them. I’ll hand out the medals.”

“It’s not an easy task, Eggsy,” Harry says soberly. “Trust me.”

“I want ta do it. Let me know as soon as possible, all right?”

Juliet comes around the corner and finds them in each other’s arms. “Oh, I beg your pardon, sir. Excuse me, Agent Tristan.”

“No, Juliet, it’s all right. I need you in my office immediately.” Arthur kisses his forehead. “I’ll see you later.” He follows Juliet into his office and shuts the door. “Please forgive that display of affection, Juliet. It’s not something we often indulge in at HQ.”

“Quite all right, sir,” she says immediately. “You’re Arthur.”

“That doesn’t make everything I do correct.” He sighs and leans against his desk. “A short while ago we lost two agents…Dagonet and Degore. Tristan and I were a little…shook up.”

She pales. “I’m sorry to hear that, sir. Of course you would seek comfort from one another.”

He gives her a small smile. “Thank you. I’m going to write up a message for staff and I need you to be ready to send it. I’ll prepare the body of the message, and then if you can just generate the outgoing template?”

“Of course,” she says immediately. “Is there anything else I can do?”

“I don’t think so, but I’ll let you know.” Harry sighs. “I’m trying to get so much done before our holiday…was not expecting this.” He opens his computer. “Thank you, Juliet.”

“Of course, Arthur.” She hurries out of his office and closes the door.

Harry stares at his computer for moment and then turns on his voice-to-type software. “I am heartbroken to inform everyone of a sad event. Today we lost two of our finest knights, Dagonet and Degore. We’ve been honored to count them as one of us for the last twelve years. They started together as recruits, and were best friends…more like brothers. They were charming, they were intelligent, they had an amazing love of adventure. They were curious, always wanting to know more…sometimes to their own detriment. I’m sure we all have a funny story to tell, wonderful memories to cherish. Please feel free to honor their memory in your own way, and I will not judge any staff member if they need to take some time to themselves today.” He turns off the software and rereads what he’s written. He adds a few things and sends it off to Juliet. It’s with a heavy heart that he opens their personnel files and starts to do some research.

 

Eggsy sits in his small cubicle and stares at a wall. He hadn’t known the two agents well; they were often sent on missions where two people were required. They’d been working together for years, and actually finished each other’s sentences. He didn’t even know their real first names. He’s more worried than sad though…Merlin was obviously wracked with guilt, taking it all on himself. Eggsy understand a lot more now why Merlin has such a wall around his heart. It’s even stronger than Harry’s. Harry had hidden himself away because he never thought he was worthy of someone’s affection because of the things he’d done. Merlin hides to save himself as well as others who might love him.

Eggsy finally gets up and goes down to the dining room. He orders a small platter of light snacks wrapped to go. When they’re ready, he goes to Alan’s office and lets himself in. Alan had given him the security code months before, and now he’s going to regret it, Eggsy decides. It’s the least Alan can do after mouthing off about Merlin’s extracurricular activities. He goes to the liquor cabinet and chooses a bottle of expensive scotch. He tucks it under his arm, grabs his tray of food and heads for Merlin.

“It’s Agent Tristan,” Eggsy calls as he gently knocks.

“Enter,” the tired voice says.

“Sir,” Eggsy says respectfully as he comes in.

“I told you I was sorry, lad. You don’t need to be anyone but yourself.” Merlin barely looks up from his computers.

“You deserve my respect. Your job is often a thankless one…but one of tha most important jobs of all,” Eggsy says softly.

“Thank you,” Merlin murmurs.

“What are you doing?”

“My job. No one else is going to die on my watch today.”

“Merlin,” Eggsy says helplessly, but Merlin waves him off. “All right, then. If you’re going to work that hard, you need this.” He hands over the bottle. “Courtesy of Percival. And this is courtesy of me an’ tha blokes in tha kitchen. Snacks that go good with a bottle. Promise me yer gonna eat somethin’.”

Merlin finally looks up, hazel eyes full of pain. “I’ll try.”

“Merlin.” Eggsy walks over and hugs him. “It’s not yer fault. Ya heard ‘arry.”

“Thank you,” he says simply.

Eggsy’s phone buzzes and he checks it. “It’s ‘arry. He found tha family information. I’m gonna go an’ tell them.”

“That’s good of you, lad.”

“Not all of us can be superheroes like you an’ ‘arry. Some of us gotta be the sidekicks.” Eggsy kisses his cheek. “Eat. An’ don’t drink that all at once, got me?”

“Yes, Eggsy.” Merlin gives him a one-armed hug.

When Eggsy arrives at Harry’s office, he looks almost as bad as Merlin. “Oh, luv.” Eggsy shuts the door and locks it. “I wish I could take some of this from ya. You an’ Merlin…ya look horrible.”

“It’s a horrible job,” Harry says with a sigh. “Every time we send someone out…this could happen.” Eggsy buries himself in Harry’s arms, squeezing tight. 

“Now I know why so many agents don’t have lovers an’ families,” Eggsy whispers. “I hate tha thought of someone havin’ ta go to Daisy an’ Mum an’…you…if somethin’ happened to me.”

Harry buries his face in Eggsy’s hair and Eggsy can feel the kisses. “Hopefully it will never come to that, my darling.” He takes a deep breath and hands Eggsy one of the Kingsman medals.

“Only one?”

“Dagonet has a sister, but I can’t find any information on her. It’s odd. I’ll keep digging, but in the meantime, Degore’s parents live in Canonbury.” He hands Eggsy a piece of paper. “This is their address.”

“Fuck.” Eggsy studies the paper for a moment. “I’ll change into something suitable and head over immediately.”

“You may go right home after,” Harry tells him. “Believe me when I tell you you’re going to need some time to yourself.”

“Takeaway and a bath tonight?” Eggsy asks hopefully.

“Of course. I love you so much, my dear boy.” He picks up Eggsy’s left hand and kisses his ring.

“Love you, too, Haz.”


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit more Merhartwin, heavy on the Merwin.

TWENTY-EIGHT

Harry hadn’t been exaggerating when he’d said how hard it would be to face Degore’s parents. Eggsy knows the story to tell, and he knows he sounds official. He knows he looks older than his age in his Kingsman suit, and he uses his best posh accent. He realizes halfway through that he is mimicking Harry with every word, every movement. He actually thinks he’s doing rather well, until Degore’s mother, a lovely woman named Beverly, finally breaks down.

“So, that’s it then? My son is gone and you leave me with a favor? Can I cash that in and get him back?”

“Ma’am…” Eggsy’s throat constricts until he can barely breathe. He stands up and goes to the sofa where she’s sitting with her husband. “May I?” He motions next to her and she shrugs, tears streaming down her face. “When I was eight years old, a man came to my flat wearing one of these suits and carrying one of these medals. He gave to my mum and told her my dad wasn’t coming home. He’d died a great hero, giving his life to save the lives of others. And I can hear that story now and feel proud, but when I was eight, all I heard was that my dad wasn’t coming home. My mum was crying, and then she was screaming, and then things went downhill after that.” He takes a ragged breath. “This medal absolutely will not bring your son back. He died a great hero, by the side of his best friend, giving his life to save a group of innocent men, women, and children. What this medal can give you is one moment of freedom. One moment where you can take a deep breath and let it out again without feeling like the world is ending. Perhaps you’ll need a bill paid. Perhaps one of you will get sick, and the other will be at their wit’s end, and this phone call will make something a little easier. This medal is to let you know you’re not alone, and that we will do everything in our power to help you…and it will be like your son is standing with us, helping you.” Eggsy studies his hands. “I hope…I hope someday you can find some solace in that. You don’t know me. I’m a stranger who knocked on your door and gave you the worst news you could possibly hear. But I knew your son. He was a wonderful man and I’m sorry for your loss.” He stands up and places the medal on the table. “I’ll leave you to it, then.”

“Wait.” Beverly stands and her weeping husband stands with her. “Thank you…”

“Gary, ma’am.”

“Thank you, Gary.” She hugs him, running her hands along the back of his neck. “I’m glad my boy was involved with people like you.”

He hugs her back and nods at her husband. “Sir.”

He makes it to the Kingsman cab before falling apart, sobbing into his hands in the back seat. “Lad,” a voice says suddenly, and Eggsy realizes Merlin was watching through his glasses. “I have never been prouder to call you one of my dearest friends. No one else could have handled that as well as you just did.”

“I agree,” Harry says, and Eggsy starts to weep again. “I am so proud of you, my boy. Go home, hug Eliza, and I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

It takes Eggsy almost two days to feel better. For the first time, he truly realizes the consequences of saying yes to Kingsman. He vows to work harder, be better, be someone his fellow knights can rely on. His first job, he decides, is to take care of Merlin, who is most decidedly NOT taking care of himself. The guilt physically weighs on him. He barely leaves his office, he doesn’t eat, and he sleeps for perhaps two or three hours at a time on the sofa in his office. Even explicit orders from Harry to go home and rest are ignored, with Merlin roaring that no one else can do his job the way it needs to be done, Harry certainly wouldn’t understand, and if he’d leave Merlin alone, everyone would be happier. Eggsy can tell Harry’s tempted to have Merlin physically taken off property, but instead he backs off and allows Eggsy to keep tabs on him.

It’s the day before they’re supposed to leave on their holiday and Eggsy’s half-expecting Harry to say they’re not going. Eggsy would understand much better this time and probably agree without an argument, but Harry insists they will leave as scheduled. Eggsy heads to Merlin’s office with a container of soup, mentally trying to figure out if he can fit six pair of trainers into his bag instead of just four. He’s determined to watch Merlin eat; he has a funny feeling Merlin’s been tossing food into the rubbish bin as soon as Eggsy leaves. Merlin’s door is ajar and Eggsy snickers to himself. He’ll catch him in the act, catch him hiding something.

“Yes…this is customer zero five zero eight six three? I’d like to make an appointment for tomorrow.” Ha, Eggsy thinks. He’s actually making an appointment for something, which means he’ll be leaving HQ. Finally. “Overnight, yes, please. Well, I’d like to change things up a bit, make a specific request? Yes. Male, yes, that’s still correct.” Eggsy’s blood freezes in his veins. “Height about a meter seventy to a meter eighty? Brown hair preferred but negotiable, but definitely blue eyes. Age…oh…twenty-five to thirty? Body type…muscular. Fit. Yes. Yes, that’s fine. Tomorrow at seven. Thank you.”

Eggsy just manages to keep from dropping the container of soup. He slowly turns and walks to Harry’s office. He remembers to knock at the last minute. “Come in.”

Eggsy quietly opens the door. “Good afternoon, Arthur.”

“Agent Tristan.” Harry smiles up at Juliet, who’s taking notes. “That should do it, I think.”

“Yes, sir. Good day, Agent Tristan,” she says as she goes by him.

“Oh, yes, good day.” Eggsy almost slams the door behind her and drops the soup into Harry’s rubbish bin.

“My darling, what’s wrong? You’re absolutely green.” Harry rushes over and takes him in his arms. “Are you hurt?”

“Only on the inside,” Eggsy says dully. He allows Harry to hug him but doesn’t lift his arms. “It’s Merlin.”

“Did he say something?”

“Yes…but not ta me. And Christ, he’s a grown man who can do what he wants…m’not sure why this hurts me so much. I can’t even begin ta feel tha way he does, how he’s still hurtin’…but fuck. We TOLD him we was here for him!” Eggsy’s voice raises. “Fuckin’ idiot. I’m gonna punch his fuckin’ face in.”

“Eggsy, will you please calm down and explain yourself?”

“I was just gonna stop by, bring him somethin’ ta eat, an’ I overheard him on tha phone.”

“Eavesdroppers never hear anything pleasant, my boy.”

“Whatever. He…he was callin’ that service, ‘arry.”

“Are you sure?”

“Let’s see…he told them he wanted a male, about my height, about my age, with blue eyes. Oh, an’ he should have a muscular, fit body type. I’m thinkin’ he wasn’t orderin’ his groceries.”

Harry fidgets a bit. “Well, as you said, he’s a grown man who can do what he likes.”

“But this bloke ain’t gonna know what he needs. Ain’t gonna take care of him. We can do that.”

“We…you’re right.” Harry sighs and sits down. “As much as I don’t want to interfere with Merlin and his life, I hate the idea of a stranger getting involved when he’s so upset. I’m worried about him.”

“So am I. But what can we do?”

Harry thinks for a moment. “I supposed you didn’t hear the name of the service.”

“I don’t think he said it, actually, only gave an account number… zero five zero eight six three?”

Harry chuckles. “That’s his birthday. You’d think someone like him would pick a more secure account number.”

“Neither of us is good enough ta hack into his phone an’ find out who he was callin’…” Eggsy begins to pace.

“Did you hear when the person was to come?”

“Tomorrow at seven,” Eggsy says immediately. Their eyes meet. “That’s why he didn’t ask us,” he whispers, losing some of his anger.

“We won’t be here,” Harry says. “We’ll be in Scotland.”

“Fuck. FUCK. That bastard probably did it on purpose, probably waited til we was gonna be gone. Probably didn’t want ta BOTHER us or some stupid shite like that. Idiot.”

“So…”

“So…” Eggsy studies Harry for a moment. “Jet available the day after t’morrow?”

“Yes,” Harry says with a smile. “It will be.”

“So we go a day late. He needs us.”

“Yes, he does. But here’s our dilemma. How do we get in touch with the service and inform them that their employee is no longer needed?”

Eggsy begins to pace again. “Can’t exactly hover outside his house waitin’ fer tha bloke ta show up.” He looks at Harry and double-takes. “Ya want us ta hover outside his house an’ wait fer tha bloke ta show up!”

“We’re spies, Eggsy. It’s not like we’ll be camping out on his front stoop. We know what we’re looking for. We will politely inform the young man that his services are no longer required and send him on his way. And then…” Harry makes a face. “Then I’m not sure what we do. He could be angry.”

“He won’t be angry for long.” Eggsy slowly begins to smile. “How do ya feel about role playin’, Haz?”

 

Someone knocks at the door of his office and Merlin growls. “ENTER.”

“May we come in?” Eggsy pokes his head in the door. 

“Of course, lad,” Merlin says. He stands and stretches, wincing as his back cracks. 

“We came for the key and any last instructions,” Harry says. “We’re hoping to leave rather early in the morning.”

“I’ll believe that when I see it. Notice how he didn’t give ya a time, Merlin. We all know he’s gonna be late ta his own funeral.”

“Merlin, how about I leave this child here and you go on holiday with me?” Harry asks. “I don’t know that I need a week of his mouth.”

“I think you’re HOPIN’ for a week of this mouth,” Eggsy says slyly, licking his lips.

Merlin smiles for what feels like the first time in a week. “I must regretfully decline, Harry. While a holiday away with you sounds wonderful, I would not do that to HQ. There is no way I’d allow him here alone without the two of us for a week.”

“I’m beginnin’ ta get offended!” Eggsy exclaims.

Merlin grabs him with one arm and kisses the side of his head. “Poor baby.”

“Fuck off.” Eggsy pokes him in the side and then snuggles close. 

“Here’s the key. I will give it to Harry, since he is the responsible adult.” Merlin hands him the key. “Everything should be ready for you once you get there, and if there is any trouble at all, please call me.”

“Thank you again, Merlin,” Eggsy says seriously. “I mean it. Yer fuckin’ aces fer all this.”

“You two deserve some rest and relaxation.” He looks at Harry. “If you can keep your hands off him enough for him to rest and relax.”

“Ha. Told ya you was the dirty old man,” Eggsy says.

“I’ll do my level best,” Harry says with a smile that indicates he will do no such thing.

“Enjoy yourselves.” Merlin hugs them both. “Have a safe trip.” He walks them to the door. After it closes behind them, he looks at his desk, and then looks at his sofa. It’s finally time for him to briefly shut his eyes. Just for a few hours. He can be spared for that long.

 

“You know we need to be out the door at six, right?” Eggsy hollers down the stairs the next evening.

“Yes, Eggsy. I’m the one that created our timetable for tonight.” Harry stands at the bottom of the stairs. 

“Doesn’t mean yer gonna follow it,” Eggsy calls back.

“Really, Eggsy, can’t this wait until you’re downstairs? A gentleman…”

“A gentleman doesn’t impersonate a high class rent boy,” Eggsy interrupts, and Harry has to chuckle.

“Too true. I’m ready when you are, darling, just waiting on you.”

“Well, THAT’S a first.” Eggsy comes down the stairs. “Ready to go.”

“Well, I…” Harry stops talking when Eggsy’s entire body comes into view. He’s wearing a pair of black boots, tight black jeans, and a tight blue shirt that shows every one of his muscles. At his neck is a gold chain which makes Harry want to bite a ring around his throat. “You’re right. I am a very perverted, filthy, dirty old man,” Harry says finally. Eggsy raises an eyebrow. “All I want to do right now is ask you how much for the night.”

Eggsy grins. “Now, luv, you know we can play our own game another time. This is fer Merlin.” He brushes his hands over Harry’s jumper. “You look very nice. Understated and handsome.”

“I would feel better in a suit,” Harry whines. 

“But this is better for what we’re doin’, ‘arry.” Eggsy takes a deep breath. “Almost time. Ya ready?”

“Whose idea was this again?”

“Yers to intercept the boy. Mine ta take care of Merlin. C’mon. Let’s go.”

They take a public cab to Merlin’s neighborhood and get out a few houses down. “Have you ever been to Merlin’s house?”

“No,” Eggsy says. “Never had a reason. Not like he hosts a lot of dinner parties.”

“Well, that will actually benefit you, since I’m sure the person you’re replacing hasn’t been here before either.”

They walk around the block, trying not to look too out of place but also trying not to look like they’re casing the houses with plans to rob them. At three minutes to seven, a cab pulls up in front of Merlin’s house. “That’s him!” Eggsy says excitedly. “It’s gotta be.”

“All right then.” Harry takes a deep breath. He cannot believe they’re doing this. “You know, I was thinking the other day how I missed going on missions with you. This was not quite what I had in mind.”

“Bet this ends up bein’ tha best mission you’ve ever been on, luv,” Eggsy says with a cheeky grin.

“Excuse me,” Harry quietly calls out to the man walking up to Merlin’s house.

He turns around and Harry swallows hard. While he isn’t exactly Eggsy’s twin, he could be a distant relation. They’re the same height and build, although the man’s hair is a shade darker. His eyes are more blue than green, and he has a scruff of a beard along his jaw. He looks confused. “Help you?”

“Yes. You’re going to that house?” Harry pointed.

“Yes,” the man says warily.

“Well, yer not goin’ any longer, so you can scram,” Eggsy says.

“Let me take care of this,” Harry tells him. “What’s your name, young man?”

“Taron.”

“Taron, I realized that you were paid to come to this house this evening. We are here to inform you that your services are no longer necessary.”

“You’re cops, then?”

“Fuck, no!” Eggsy exclaims. “This man’s our friend. He’s…”

“Sick,” Harry finishes. “We’ve actually come to help take care of him. Dreadful bug he’s caught.”

“I didn’t get a call about it,” Taron says. 

“Knowing him, he probably thought he could handle it,” Eggsy says quickly. “He’s stubborn like that.”

“We’ll make sure your employer is aware of the situation,” Harry promises. “You’ll be paid in full, of course, and here’s something for your trouble.” Harry hands over a pile of bills. “Easiest place to get a cab is up on the corner there.”

“All right. You’ll make sure the company knows?”

“We will take care of EVERYTHING,” Eggsy promises. 

“Okay, then. Night.” He gives them one more odd look and heads up the street.

“Here we go, then.” Eggsy walks up and rings Merlin’s doorbell.

 

Merlin takes a deep breath and smooths down his shirt. He’s used this service countless times in the past, but he’s nervous every time. He never knows what he’s going to find on the other side of the door. What he finds tonight, however, is not at all what he’d expected.

“Good evening, sir,” Eggsy says politely. “We understand you placed a call for company this evening?” His tone is distant polite, chav accent long gone. 

Merlin’s eyes widen as he sees Harry standing behind him. “How…you’re…”

“Did you, sir?” Eggsy presses.

“Y-yes, yes I did.” Merlin’s face burns with shame. 

“Right, well, then, we’re in the right place. May we come in?” Eggsy asks.

“Of…of course,” Merlin stammers. Harry follows Eggsy in, studiously avoiding Merlin’s gaze.

“Lovely home,” Eggsy remarks. “So…you called the service and asked for me?”

Merlin tries to work through the confusion in his brain. They’re not in Scotland, they’re here, they know he’d called the service. Someone had overheard something, because he’d pretty much EXACTLY asked for Eggsy when he described what he wanted. “Yes, I did.”

“What exactly were you looking for, this morning, sir? Why did you request company from the service?” Eggsy’s question is loaded, and he’s watching Merlin carefully.

“I…I’ve had a very rough time of it, and I was looking to forget for a while,” Merlin almost whispers. “I did something wrong, and I…”

“You need it taken from you,” Eggsy finishes. Merlin slowly nods. “Well, then, I believe we can take care of that. My name is Gary. This is my supervisor, Mr. Hart. I’m rather new to all this, you see, and he’s come along to observe and offer any assistance I might need.” His smile is impish. “I do so wish to do a good job and take care of you…”

“Ewan,” Merlin says quickly and he hears Harry gasp. “My name is Ewan.” The situation is already out of control, so why not add to the madness?

“Very nice to meet you, Ewan.” Eggsy looks around a bit. “I’m assuming you don’t wish for use to continue here?”

“No, of course. Follow me, please.”

Merlin slowly leads the way upstairs to his bedroom. He opens the door and allows the others to walk in first. “Nice. Large bed,” Eggsy says approvingly. “Mr. Hart, you could sit in that chair, that way you can see anything and be nearby if I need you.”

“Perfect,” Harry says, again not meeting Merlin’s eye. Eggsy is apparently running the show on this, and Merlin will have a LOT of questions for Harry later. Harry sits in the chair and studies his shoes.

“So. Am I everything you’d hoped?” Eggsy asks, standing in front of him. Merlin groans quietly. The jeans are obscenely tight, and Merlin feels as if he could count every abdominal muscle through the shirt. 

“Yes,” Merlin whispers.

“What can I do for you, Ewan? I’m here at your command.” Eggsy moves closer, looking up at him but not touching him. “I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Christ,” Merlin whispers. “Kiss me?”

“You don’t have to ask for anything, Ewan. You tell me, and we’ll do it.” Eggsy stands on tiptoe and kisses him gently. “Whatever you want,” he reminds him.

Merlin yanks Eggsy towards him, pressing their bodies together. Eggsy moans into his mouth as they kiss, hands grabbing at Merlin’s jumper. “You are perfect,” Merlin murmurs, mouth sliding down Eggsy’s throat. 

“Thank you, Ewan. You’re pretty incredible yourself.” Eggsy tilts his head to the side to give Merlin better access. “I’m going to enjoy tonight, I think.”

“I know I am.” Merlin tugs at the shirt and pulls it over Eggsy’s head. “Sweet Jesus,” he breathes. He’s seen Eggsy shirtless a multitude of times but it never ceases to amaze him. He walks Eggsy to the bed and sits down on the edge of it. His hands and mouth trail over Eggsy’s chest, kissing his nipples, licking them, pinching them. He drags his tongue down to the waist of Eggsy’s jeans and he peeks around Eggsy to look at Harry. “Is…are…”

“I’m here to observe and provide assistance when necessary,” Harry recites. “However, everything I’ve seen so far meets with my complete approval.”

Merlin moans again, hands sliding up Eggsy’s back as he stands. “I…”

“You still haven’t told me what you want, Ewan,” Eggsy says. “I want to know before we go any further exactly what you want from me.”

“I want to hurt,” Merlin murmurs into Eggsy’s hair and feels him stiffen. “I want it to go away.”

“I don’t know that I can hurt you.” Eggsy cups Merlin’s face in his hands. “But I will do everything in my power to help it go away, even for a little bit.” He takes Merlin’s jumper off and sits him back down on the bed. He straddles Merlin’s lap, rocking a bit as he kisses him. “Do you want me to suck you, Merlin? Want me to touch you, stroke you?”

“I want you to use me,” Merlin growls, biting down a bit at Eggsy’s shoulder. He remembers Harry’s rule about marks and pulls back just in time. He fists his hand in Eggsy’s hair. “I want to suck your cock, want to choke on it. Want you to fuck me hard.”

“Christ!” Eggsy gasps, fingernails digging into Merlin’s back. They kiss for a while, Eggsy biting at Merlin’s lip and sucking on his tongue. “Get me naked, Ewan. Can’t suck my dick if it’s still in my jeans, can you?”

Merlin shudders and helps Eggsy stand. Eggsy wiggles out of his boots and Merlin slides down his jeans. Merlin gasps as he realizes there’s nothing under the jeans but Eggsy himself. Eggsy strokes himself, holding it out for Merlin to take. Merlin moans and slowly licks along Eggsy’s length. “Fuck,” he hears Harry whisper.

“Mmm…you’re so good at this, Ewan,” Eggsy says. He gasps as Merlin’s hand comes up to fondle his balls as he takes him in deeper. “That’s right…all the way if you can…”

“Oh, I can,” Merlin says as he comes up for air. With each movement he takes Eggsy deeper until his face is pressed against Eggsy’s stomach.

“Oh, fuck, FUCK,” Eggsy gasps. “Yes…so good…”

Merlin swallows with Eggsy deep in his mouth and Eggsy shouts. Merlin pulls all the way off and goes all the way down again. Eggsy presses his hands against the back of his head and he chokes. He slowly drags his tongue around the head on the way back. “You taste…like sin…”

“Been told that before,” Eggsy says with a chuckle, and Merlin knows he’s probably looking at Harry. “Use your hand with your mouth,” he orders, and Merlin quickly obeys, hand twisting and fisting along Eggsy’s length. Eggsy starts to shudder and finally pulls away. “You’re far too good at that, Ewan…I won’t last. How about we get you undressed?” Merlin stands and Eggsy helps him out of his trousers and pants. “Fuck,” Eggsy breathes, curling his hand around Merlin’s cock and stroking it. “Are you sure you want ME to fuck YOU?” Merlin catches Harry grinning and rolling his eyes. “Because…this. This is a work of art.”

“My apologies,” Merlin murmurs, hissing as Eggsy uses both hands to touch him.

“No need,” Eggsy murmurs. “Do you have supplies?” Merlin goes to a small table and gets some lube. “Condom?”

“I…normally I do, of course,” Merlin says, appreciating the fact that Eggsy is trying to hard to stay in character. “But…not tonight. I need to feel it. Feel you.”

“If you insist. Hands and knees on the bed. Face Mr. Hart, if you would.” Eggsy goes over to Harry. “Your opinion so far, Mr. Hart?”

“I think you’re doing very well, boy. But it’s not my opinion that matters.” Harry finally looks Merlin in the eye. “We need to make sure that Ewan here gets everything he needs.”

“Oh he will, sir. Or I’ll die trying.” Eggsy goes back around the bed and stands behind Merlin. “Quite the view.” He bites the left side of Merlin’s arse and he yelps. “Relax.” 

Merlin bends his head down on his forearms as Eggsy starts to work him open. One finger slides in and he moans. “Ewan, why don’t you look at me?” Harry asks suddenly and Merlin forces himself to look up. “I assure you that Gary here, while young, is very very good at what he’s doing.”

“I’m sure…I’m sure he is…” Merlin gasps as the finger twists. “Oh fuck, I can’t.” He dips his head down again. 

“You’re so tight, Ewan. Been a long time for you?”

“Yes…the last time I did this with anyone it was incredible, and I haven’t done anything since.”

“Why not?” Harry asks quietly.

“Time…opportunity…fuck…” Merlin winces as Eggsy adds a second finger. “N-nerves.”

“Nerves?” Eggsy whispers.

“I was afraid to ask again.”

Eggsy gives him a spank and he jumps. “That sounds idiotic, if you ask me.” The two fingers work in and out, moving whip fast and hard. Merlin is soon grunting and pushing back against them.

“Please…please fuck me…” He finds himself begging. 

“Let me add a third…”

“No. I want it to hurt. NEED it to hurt.”

Eggsy climbs up onto the bed and Merlin can hear him lubing up his cock. “If it hurts too much, you’ll tell me to stop, Ewan, or there will be hell to pay.”

“I understand.” He forces himself to relax, wincing as he feels Eggsy try to push inside. “Oh…sweet Jesus…fuck…” It’s raw, it’s hot, and it’s the pain he needs.

“Christ, I don’t think I can…” Eggsy stops moving when he’s completely sheathed. “I need to wait…I can’t…” He takes a few deep breaths, pulls out a bit, then moves back in. With each thrust he’s able to go out a little more, and in deeper.

“Yes…God like that…fuck me hard…please…”

“If that’s what you want,” Eggsy hisses in his ear, and he slams himself all the way in. Merlin shouts, hands fisting in the covers. Soon the only sounds in the room are labored breaths and the slap of Eggsy’s hips against his arse. Merlin manages to look at Harry. His face is red and he’s palming himself through his trousers. “Ewan, why do you need to hurt?”

“I…I did something wrong. I need punished.”

Eggsy’s hands clutch at Merlin’s waist and dig in. “You did something wrong.”

“Yes.” Merlin grunt with each smacking thrust. “Fuck that’s so good…what I need…”

“You need to hurt because you did something wrong?”

“I…failed.”

“I’m sure you didn’t…”

“I did. I don’t deserve to feel this good.”

He hears Eggsy gasp. “Mr. Hart…I believe I need your assistance now.” Eggsy stops moving completely and Merlin whimpers. “Ewan wants to be punished. I think you should make him suck your cock while I’m fucking him. He wants to be used, let us use him.”

“My pleasure.” Harry rubs a hand over Merlin’s bald head, which is covered with sweat. He undoes his trousers and moves his pants down just enough to let his cock out. It’s hard and weeping and Merlin licks his lips. 

“Please,” Merlin whispers. He sticks out his tongue and lets Harry slide into his mouth.

“Fuck, that’s beautiful,” Eggsy moans.

“I won’t last,” Harry warns, gently thrusting into Merlin’s mouth. “Watching you…the way his mouth feels…Jesus…”

“That’s right, Ewan. Make him come,” Eggsy orders. He leans over Merlin’s back to stroke his cock. “Because you don’t come until we do. Both of us.”

Merlin hums around Harry’s cock and his hips move in a stuttering motion. “Oh…oh fuck…” Harry’s hands grab at Merlin’s shoulders as he comes. Merlin chokes, not expecting it to happen so soon. He swallows what he can but come is dripping down his chin.

“Look at that…that looks like quite the punishment to me. You did pay for the night…maybe I’ll just fuck you until I’m finished, and not let you come. Get you to the edge over and over…use you until you can’t fucking walk. Is that what you want?”

“Yes, please!” Merlin shouts hoarsely.

“I’m sorry, Ewan, that’s not going to happen. Not tonight.” Eggsy’s hand slides around to stroke him again and Merlin gasps. “I’m going to come inside you, inside your beautiful body, and then you’re going to come in my hand. And then I’m going to lay down beside you and make sure you know it wasn’t your fault. I will take this from you.”

“No…that’s not…”

“I will take it…take you…” And Eggsy’s coming, shuddering breaths ghosting over Merlin’s back. He stays inside of Merlin, biting down on Merlin’s spine as he strokes him.

“Please…please…I…” Merlin groans, head falling onto the bed as he comes, tears streaming down his face. Eggsy strokes him through, remaining inside of him until he stops coming. Harry disappears from the room and returns with two wet flannels. Eggsy slowly pulls out and cleans Merlin as best he can before wiping the sheet under Merlin. He then uses the other flannel to wipe Merlin’s face. 

Eggsy crawls up Merlin’s bed, pulling Merlin with him. “Get undressed an’ get in here, ‘arry,” Eggsy orders. He wraps his arms around Merlin, putting Merlin’s head on his chest. “Let it out.”

“What are you doing here? I didn’t need you. You should be gone. I wanted to…wanted to…”

“Let it out, sweetheart,” Eggsy whispers as Harry curls up behind Merlin. Harry’s arms join Eggsy’s and Merlin finally cries. He sobs on Eggsy’s chest. He’s never had someone to catch him when he’s fallen so low, and it scares him at how easy it is to let go. “We will always be here for you. I told ya that night ta call us if something like this happened.”

“You were leaving.”

“There were other times this week,” Harry gently reminds him.

“I don’t…I don’t want to be in the way.”

“You’re lucky yer cryin’ an’ emotional an’ all fucked out or I would hit you,” Eggsy says fiercely. “We’re…we’re yer friends, ya stupid fuck. We’re more than that, an’ ya know it. We wouldn’t have ever told ya it was okay after that night if we didn’t mean it.”

“I…” Merlin doesn’t know what to say. A new round of tears comes. “I don’t sleep because I have nightmares. I don’t eat because it all comes back up. I failed them and everyone seems to think it’s all right.”

“You didn’t fail them. You did your job. You cannot control every aspect of a mission, Merlin,” Harry says sternly. “Things happen that we can’t change. I’m the one who signed off on this. It was because of my order that they were even THERE. How do you think that makes me feel?”

“But I was supposed to get them out.”

“You were supposed ta do yer job an’ ya did it, Merlin. Please try and let it go.” Eggsy rubs his back. “M’sorry I couldn’t do what I think ya wanted. Can’t hurt ya. Not for real. Have…have ya done that before?”

“A few times…some hard spankings…a whipping once,” Merlin admits to Eggsy’s chest.

“Jesus,” Eggsy whispers. “I’m sorry…I just couldn’t.”

“It’s all right. I can’t believe you’re both here.”

“I heard ya on tha phone an’ saw red,” Eggsy admits. “But then we realized ya thought we wouldn’t be here. Our holiday could wait another day.”

“He was quite upset that you didn’t call us,” Harry tells Merlin.

Merlin finally pulls his head up and wipes his tears away. “If it’s any consolation, I don’t think my original guest would have done this for me.”

“I don’t think he would have, either,” Eggsy says.

“He was quite attractive, though,” Harry observes. Eggsy gives him a dirty look. “He was.”

“You saw him?” Merlin gasps.

“Had to talk ta him an’ tell him not ta come, didn’t we?” Eggsy says. “We gave him a little extra cash for his time and sent him packin’.”

“That must’ve been an interesting conversation.”

“You asked for me,” Eggsy says softly. “When you called. You pretty much asked for me.”

“Yes, I did.” Merlin turns to look at Harry. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing to me?”

“I…feel like I was…asking for an Eggsy without a Harry.”

“I have no substitute,” Harry says. Merlin and Eggsy snort as one. “That’s fine, Merlin. It’s not like you asked the real Eggsy without me.”

“I can’t believe you two did this for me.” Merlin kisses Eggsy’s chest, then turns to kiss Harry’s lips. “You postponed your anniversary trip…you pretended to work for a sex agency.” He shakes his head.

“Never a dull moment with you, Ewan.” Eggsy kisses his head. “Is that really yer name?”

“Yes.”

“I like it. But yer still our Merlin.” He rubs Merlin’s neck. “Rest now. No nightmares tonight, t’morrow I’m cookin’ ya breakfast, an’ then ya gotta get ta work an’ hold down tha fort. Gotta go on my holiday.”


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Eggsy finally get their holiday to Scotland. Schmoop, love, sex. *sigh*

TWENTY-NINE

“Arthur, sir, you’re free to move about the cabin now,” the pilot announces.

Harry gets up and moves to the small table. He opens his computer and enters his passcode as he sits down. They’re in one of the smaller Kingsman jets, but it’s still set up like an aerial office. Harry can access the internet as well as the Kingsman server. 

“Yer really gonna do work now?” Eggsy gets up and follows Harry to the table.

“Just a few things,” Harry promises, and he means it. “With everything that happened…Degore and Dagonet…I have a few things I didn’t get finished before we left.”

“Anything I can help ya with?”

“No, my boy, thank you.” Harry turns his head and kisses the hand on his shoulder.

“Something ta drink? Tea? Somethin’ stronger?”

“Tea would be nice.”

“All right. I’ll just watch somethin’…play on my phone til yer done.”

Harry turns and watches Eggsy make their tea. He’s wearing a pair of his old jeans with a nice jumper, a bit of the old Eggsy mixed with the new. Eggsy hands him his tea, kisses his forehead, and sits in one of the more comfortable chairs. He’s matured a bit since the visit to Degore’s parents. It’s as if he’d been playing at being a Kingsman all along, and now he feels what it actually all means. Eggsy taps at his phone and music suddenly blares. Harry hears a muttered “fuck” as he winces and quickly digs his earbuds from his pocket. Harry has to smile. 

The flight is only ninety minutes long and Harry finishes his work in about an hour. He closes everything down and feels a weight lifting from his shoulders. Now he’s on holiday. He stands and stretches and Eggsy immediately stands as well. “All done?” When he nods, Eggsy quickly walks over and wraps his arms around Harry. “Do ya feel it?”

“Should I?” Harry has no clue what he’s talking about.

“Yes.” Eggsy looks up at him, his entire face wreathed in smiles. “Do ya know what this is?”

“My apologies.”

“This is tha first holiday that we’ve gone on t’gether. We both went on our honeymoon, but we didn’t go together.” Eggsy blinks hard and Harry sees tears in his eyes.

“This is like our true honeymoon, then, isn’t it?” Harry rubs a thumb over Eggsy’s cheek. “I love you, Eggsy Hart.”

“Not as much as I love you, Harry Hart.” Eggsy leads Harry to the biggest chair and has him sit down. He sits on Harry’s lap, legs over the side of his left leg, head tucked onto Harry’s shoulder. “I suppose it would be a waste of our time if we just stayed in bed all week, right?” He holds Harry’s hand and plays with his fingers.

Harry sighs with contentment, hand gently stroking circles on Eggsy’s side under his jumper. “I would never categorize time spent in bed with you as a “waste of time,” my boy. But yes, I think we should probably go out a bit. I told you I’ve never been fond of Scotland, but I’ve never been to this part of the country. From what I’ve read, there are beautiful rivers and woods, and castles and…”

Eggsy’s head pops up. “Can we go see a castle? I’ve never been to a castle.” He blushes as he realizes how he sounds. “Christ…sounds like I’m on a school field trip.”

“Well, we could play a little teacher/student if you’d like,” Harry says in a low voice, just to feel Eggsy shudder. He’s not disappointed. “Oh, I am definitely filing THAT idea away for later. Of course we can see a castle. I’m sure the caretakers can give suggestions as to things to do and see.”

“We owe Merlin for this,” Eggsy says, toying with the buttons on Harry’s shirt. 

“It was a wonderful gift,” Harry agrees. “But I’m sure he feels he owes us for everything that happened.”

“Haz, what’s gonna happen to that chemical? We can’t keep it lyin’ around. It’s dangerous.”

“It will be dealt with appropriately, I assure you,” Harry promises him. 

“It needs ta be fuckin’ destroyed,” Eggsy snaps, and Harry’s surprised at his violent reaction.

“Let’s not talk about work any longer, all right, Eggsy? This is our holiday…our honeymoon.” He gives Eggsy a gentle kiss.

“Are ya gonna carry me over tha threshold?”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea,” Harry says. 

“No. I’m not callin’ Merlin an’ tellin’ him I threw yer back out on our honeymoon. I’ll never heard the end of it.” He kisses Harry and goes to sit in his chair for their descent.

 

“Okay, what he calls a cottage an’ what I call a cottage are two very different fuckin’ things,” Eggsy gasps as they get out of the car. “Fuck, ‘arry, you sure this is where we was supposed to be?”

“It’s where the GPS says we’re supposed to be.” Harry gets out of the passenger side and stares at the stone house. “Merlin has always been the king of underexaggeration.”

The house has the appearance of a cottage, with the stone and the ivy crawling up the front, and the charming garden behind. It’s also huge, with three floors, a dormer window on the third floor, and dozens of windows. “Well, try tha key. If it works, we know we’re in the right place,” Eggsy says faintly.

Harry goes to the front door and unlocks it. “Well, then.” Eggsy hurries up behind him. “Wait!” Harry turns around and scoops Eggsy into his arms before he knows what’s happening.

“Christ! Harry, yer back! Luv, put me down!” Eggsy’s giggling so hard he can’t move. Harry makes a grand show of stepping over the threshold, kissing Eggsy passionately before putting him down.

“There you are, my husband.”

“We’re never leaving,” Eggsy says as soon as they go into the front room. It’s a charming room with comfortable furniture and a fireplace. There’s a small television in the corner and a bar cabinet on the other side. “I’m kidnappin’ Arthur an’ holdin’ him hostage here.”

Harry chuckles and wraps himself around Eggsy. “What will we do for food and money, my boy?”

Eggsy thinks for a moment. “You’ll be kidnapped, so I’ll have ya tied to a chair all tha time. No wait…tied to tha bed. I’ll go do odd jobs an’ make enough ta feed us.”

“I know a few spies who might come rescue me,” Harry whispers in his ear.

Eggsy snorts. “I’ve met them. I’m not concerned.”

They poke their heads into the kitchen and find the cupboards and refrigerator completely stocked. “He’s thought of everything,” Harry says. “It’s perfect.”

“Excuse me?” They hear someone knocking. “You left the door open.”

Eggsy reaches for the knife in the belt of his jeans. “We did.”

The large old man glares at him. “Relax, lad, I mean no harm. I’m Mr. Campbell. Me and the missus take care of the house. You’re…”

“Friends of Ewan’s,” Harry says. “My name is Harry Hart.”

“Yes, that’s the name we were told to ask for,” the man says, still eying them up warily. “And you are…” The man looks him over and doesn’t seem to like what he sees.

“His husband,” Eggsy snaps. 

“Of course you are.” An equally large woman shoves the man out of his way. “My name is Rose. Of course you’re his husband. We saw him carry you over the threshold!” Eggsy turns red. “So romantic,” she says with a sigh. She elbows her husband. “Romance. Remember that?” She turns back to Eggsy and Harry. “Congratulations on your marriage.” The husband snorts and Eggsy glares back.

“We’ve been married a year, but haven’t had tha chance ta go away until now. This is actually an anniversary trip,” Eggsy tells her. He holds out his hand. “Pleased ta meet ya Rose, Mr. Campbell. My name is Gary but just call me Eggsy.”

Mr. Campbell snorts again. “How do you know Ewan?”

“We work with him,” Harry says. “He’s been my best friend for decades.”

“And you…what do YOU do for a living?”

Eggsy stands up taller. He should be used to this, people looking down on him for his accent or his clothes. But this man is obviously also unhappy with their relationship, and that’s something new. “Like ‘arry said, we work with Ewan. BOTH of us.”

“Well, if we can be of any assistance, let us know,” Rose says. “We live in the next house down, on the other side of the trees. Roses painted on the front door.”

“Only come if there’s a problem with the house,” Mr. Campbell snaps. “We take care of the house…not our job to take care of you.”

“What is your problem, old man?” Rose growls. 

“Don’t ya worry, sir,” Eggsy says with a pleasant smile. “I make it my job ta take care of whatever Harry needs, an’ I’m quite experienced at it by now.” He winks at the man and he turns red. He grumbles and leaves the house.

“I do apologize for my husband. I’m not sure what’s gotten into him. Good day, gentlemen.” Rose leaves and shuts the door.

“Sorry, ‘arry.” Eggsy rubs at the back of his neck. “Got a little mad…mouthed off. Shouldn’t have done that.”

“It’s all right, my boy.” Harry kisses him. “You were defending us…I’ll never stop you from doing that.”

“I’ll unload tha car…why don’t you buzz Merlin quick, tell him thanks?” Eggsy heads for the door.

“No, Eggsy, you call him. I’ll unload the car.” Harry stops Eggsy with a kiss and goes out the door, handing him his glasses along the way.

Eggsy taps the side of his glasses. “Merlin.”

“Why am I hearing from you?”

“It’s me, Merlin. We just wanted ta say thank you again. This place is so perfect. We can’t thank you enough.”

“I’m glad you like it, Eggsy. I emailed you this morning…a list of restaurants and such over in Perth, as well as some things you might want to go look at.”

“I haven’t checked it since we left, but I will shortly.” Eggsy sighs as he watches Harry. He’s taken off his jacket, cuffed his sleeves, and is carefully unloading everything from the car before starting to make his trips inside.

“You realize I can see what you’re looking at, right?” Merlin’s voice is amused.

“He’s just getting’ stuff outta tha car, but fuck, Merlin. He’s amazing.”

“That he is, lad.”

“Oh, we met your caretakers.” Eggsy can’t help growling a bit. “She seems like a doll.”

“Did they give you any problems?” Eggsy can hear Merlin’s frown.

“Not really. I don’t think he approves of two men bein’ married, that’s for sure.”

“I suppose that doesn’t surprise me. They’ve been watching over the house for as long as I can remember. If they give you any trouble…”

“We can handle it, Merlin. Thanks again.”

“Have a wonderful week, Eggsy.”

“If you need anything, call us, Merlin,” Eggsy orders. “I mean it. Just ta talk. Any time.”

“I will, I promise. Give Harry my best.”

Eggsy takes off the glasses and hooks them in the neck of his jumper before going out to help Harry. “Are ya tryin’ ta kill me?” Eggsy takes Harrys hands and rubs his thumbs up Harry’s forearms. 

“Yes. I’d much rather be here all by myself,” Harry says sarcastically.

“Are ya sayin’ you’d rather wank off alone than have me do it for ya?” Eggsy murmurs.

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.” Harry picks up two suitcases and slings a bag over his shoulder. “Get the rest, you foolish boy.”

Eggsy follows Harry inside and up the small staircase. “Merlin said he sent me an email with a list of places ta eat an’ other stuff.”

“Thoughtful of him.” Harry pokes his head into the bedroom at the end of the hall. “Ah, this must be the master.” He opens the door all the way. “No en suite.”

“Poor Haz, gotta walk all tha way down tha hall ta take a piss.” Eggsy rolls his eyes. He dumps the things onto the floor and flops onto the bed. “Comfy.”

Harry carefully puts down the suitcases and starts to drop the duffle. He stops halfway and hefts it up and down a bit. “What’s in here?”

“Clothes,” Eggsy says immediately. He jumps up and tries to take the duffel.

“This feels like…shoes.” Harry raises an eyebrow. “How many pair of trainers did you bring?”

“Three pair in my suitcase,” Eggsy says. He pulls at the bag but Harry won’t release it.

“How many are in this bag?”

“Harry…”

“Eggsy…”

“Did ya hear that? I think someone’s tryin’ ta steal tha car!” Eggsy tugs at the bag again.

“Gary Unwin-Hart. You agreed on three pair of trainers.”

“Harold Wellington Hart, you brought five suits,” Eggsy argues. “Trainers take up less room an’ don’t wrinkle!”

“I’m beginning to think you have an addiction. I’m sure there are help groups for this sort of thing.”

“I don’t get tha big deal,” Eggsy grumbles. “It’s just clothes in that bag.”

“So, if I open it…only clothing?” Harry reaches for the zipper and Eggsy flinches. “If there are trainers in this bag, I decide how you come tonight…if at all.” Harry looks stern, and Eggsy’s half-afraid he’s actually angry.

“Haz…” Eggsy’s got nothing else, and he slowly lets the bag drop. “Fuck.”

“Hmm,” Harry says. He puts the bag in the closet. “Let’s unpack and then we’ll decide what to do next.”

“Well, I know one thing I’m probably NOT doin’ t’night,” Eggsy mutters.

 

Harry insists on unpacking himself, knowing full well that Eggsy will just throw everything in a pile somewhere. He tells Eggsy to open his email to get Merlin’s list and hides a smile as Eggsy flops onto his stomach on the bed. Harry puts away his pants and socks, hangs up his suits, and is about to start on his regular clothing when he takes a good look at Eggsy. He sighs. He’s the luckiest man in the universe. He slides his empty suitcase under the bed and slowly crawls up Eggsy’s back. He lays over him, just barely letting his weight rest against him. “Excuse me.”

“May I help you?” Eggsy’s just barely able to turn his head. 

“Yes.” Harry kisses him, thrusting against his backside and rolling his body against Eggsy’s. “I just wanted to say hello.”

“Hello, handsome.” Eggsy smiles and kisses him again.

Harry bites his shoulder through his jumper and is rewarded with a hiss. “Anything good?” He gets back up and continues unpacking.

“Yeah…looks like there’s a nice pub in town, good food, decent prices. Maybe we can go out tonight…I could cook tomorrow?”

“Sounds like a marvelous plan.” Harry finishes his clothes and opens Eggsy’s suitcase. “Darling boy. What did this clothing ever do to you?”

“Wasn’t planning on wearing it much.” Eggsy rolls over and grins, palming himself through his jeans.

“Not going to work,” Harry warns him, fighting a smile with everything he has. “Get over here and fold these things nicely and put them away.”

Eggsy bounces up and kisses him. “Yes, Daddy,” he says obediently before going to his suitcase.

Harry moans. He’s not going to live through this week.

 

“This is nice,” Eggsy says as they slide into a booth at the pub. 

“It is,” Harry agrees. They’d parked around the corner in a small lot and found the pub easy enough. It reminds Harry of the pub where Eggsy’d pretended to be a rentboy, and he blushes a bit at the memory.

“What are you thinkin’ about?”

“Oh, I was simply remembering another pub where a beautiful boy in awful clothes asked me to buy him a drink.”

“I see.” The waitress arrives and they order two pints. “Beautiful, huh?”

“Gorgeous. Blue eyes, devilish smile, soft skin.”

“Didya buy him a drink?”

“I did.” Harry takes Eggsy’s hand across the table and he can tell his husband’s surprised. “I even took him home with me.”

“And?”

“And…I believe I wrecked him.” Harry smiles.

“Fuck yeah, ya did,” Eggsy murmurs. The waitress returns with their pints and they order fish and chips. “I forgot…meant ta ask ya somethin’.”

“Of course, ask away.”

“Merlin told me you was givin’ my sister kissin’ lessons?”

Harry stares at Eggsy, mouth falling open. Eggsy’s face is completely without expression except for one raised eyebrow. “If I didn’t think his dead Scottish relatives would rise from the grave and murder me, I would threaten to kill my so-called best friend,” Harry growls. “That is NOT what happened.”

“Explain.”

“She asked about “movie kisses,” the kind of kisses that adult do in movies. She asked if I liked them, because they didn’t look nice. I told her if someone knew what they were doing, they were very nice. She then asked if I kissed YOU that way, and if YOU liked it, and I said I thought you did. And then she asked me to teach her.” Harry shudders at the memory. “I told her no, she had to learn that on her own, when she was much older.” He takes a gulp of his Guinness.

Eggsy’s shoulders are shaking with laughter. “That’s what he said happened. I just wanted ta see ya squirm.” They chat until their food arrives, Eggsy’s face lighting up when he sees the giant piece of fish on his plate. “Bril. Thanks so much.” He immediately eats a chip and hisses when it burns his tongue. “Fuck.” He gulps at his beer.

“Will you never learn?” Harry shakes his head. 

“Probably not.” Eggsy grins and tears his fish apart.

Harry forgets about his food and simply stares at him. His jumper is a green that brings out his eyes, and his hair looks soft in the dim lights of the pub. He’s pushed his sleeves up and his forearms are strong. Harry’s eyes run up his arms to his handsome face and he sighs. Eggsy gives him an odd look. “Just looking at you and thinking about how lucky I am,” Harry says softly. “My mother would probably say I have hearts in my eyes.”

“Look at me quick most of tha time, luv, an’ ya’d see that same look on my face whenever I’m looking at you,” Eggsy says. He smiles and dips his head bashfully.

“God, I fucking love you so much,” Harry says, his heart in his throat. “I…I know this isn’t the place to say such things, but…I don’t know how I got so lucky.”

“I know how hard it is fer ya ta say those things sometimes, ‘arry. You can say them wherever you want. An’ it’s only because I’m really enjoyin’ this fish that I’m not hoppin’ tha table ta snog ya senseless.”

It’s Harry’s turn to blush, and he quickly finishes his Guinness. “I guess I should start eating it, then.”

“I’ll grab us two more pints. Give my food time ta cool. Waitress looks pretty busy.” Eggsy squeezes Harry’s hand and gets up.

 

Eggsy stands at the bar and orders two more pints. He’s wondering if he can convince Harry to never leave this place, let them live in perfection forever, when someone nudges his side. “Care to buy me a drink?”

He smiles at the pretty girl and her friend. “I’m sorry?”

“Buy me a pint. My friend, too.” Her big brown eyes flutter at him. “Ain’t seen you here before.”

“Just here on holiday.” 

“Ooh, I can tell by your accent,” her friend says.

Eggsy sighs. All those years he sat in pubs and not one girl noticed him. Maybe being so hopelessly in love makes him more attractive. “I’m afraid I can’t do that.” He holds up his hand. “I’m married.”

“Notice that, but don’t see any young lady waiting in a booth for you.” The first girl looks around. “C’mon, we could have some fun.”

“Thank ya,” he says to the bartender, handing him some cash. “Directly behind me there’s a handsome older bloke by himself.”

“Yes, I see him. He is handsome,” the girl admits. 

“I’m fairly certain he’s probably starin’ at us right now…frownin’?” The girls nod. “Fuckin’ fit, though, isn’t he?” They shrug, then nod. “Well, girls, I hate ta tell ya, but that’s my husband. An’ what he can do with his gorgeous prick gives me more fun than you ever could.” He toasts them with his pint and heads back to the table. Harry opens his mouth. “Before ya ask, yes, they was hittin’ on me, yes, I said I was married to you.” He slides the Guinness to Harry. 

Harry studies him for a moment. “And? I know you didn’t leave it at that. I can tell by the looks on their faces. You said something that shocked them.”

“I may have talked up yer cock a bit…be grateful.”

Harry shakes his head and sighs. “I can’t take you anywhere.”

 

Eggsy yawns as he parks the car in front of the cottage. He’s done most of the driving that day and Harry doesn’t mind. Eggsy enjoys it, and Harry likes being able to rest and relax in the passenger seat. “Tired?” Harry asks.

Eggsy shrugs. “Long day. Feel road-worn, if that makes any sense.”

“It does.” Harry unlocks the door and drops the key in a basket on the wall. He takes Eggsy in his arms, placing his hands at his waist. Eggsy puts his arms around Harry’s neck. “Why don’t we take a shower and get ready for bed…turn in early?”

“Sounds like heaven, luv.” He kisses Harry’s chin and they go upstairs.

The bath is definitely nothing like the one in their house. The tub is small, too small for more than one person, and they barely fit in the shower stall. Neither of them mind, however, since it means they’re pressed together the entire time they’re in the shower. “Tilt your head back,” Harry orders, working shampoo through Eggsy’s soft hair.

“Used ta hate takin’ showers,” Eggsy says softly. Something in his tone makes Harry stop moving. “Was afraid that Dean was hurtin’ Mum when I was in there. Learned ta take tha quickest showers you’ve ever seen. Never enjoyed ‘em. Did me good in the Marines, in an’ out fast, had to.” Eggsy closes his eyes and dips his head, letting the shampoo rinse out. Harry slowly works his fingers through, rinsing the suds from the short hair. 

“You’ve never said anything. You’ve let me keep you in the shower for quite a long time.”

Eggsy shrugs. “Don’t gotta worry about Dean now, do I? Plus showerin’ with you…I love it.” He turns around and presses himself against Harry. “How could I not enjoy this?”

“My boy, you are one of the bravest, strongest men I’ve ever met.” Harry kisses his forehead. “How you are able to love the way you do astounds me.”

“I like bein’ astoundin’,” Eggsy says with a grin. 

They carefully step out and dry off. Harry already has their dressing gowns hanging on the back of the door and Eggsy sighs happily when he sees the puppies. “Like I’d leave that at home,” Harry scoffs. “I couldn’t believe it when I saw you didn’t pack it.”

They brush their teeth and prepare for bed. Harry goes to the bedroom to turn back the covers, and is already naked in bed when Eggsy joins him. “Well,” Eggsy says, raising an eyebrow as he sees the red dressing gown folded neatly over a chair. “Did you pack your pajamas?”

“I did. But I’m not currently wearing them.”

“So I see.” Eggsy takes off his gown and Harry sighs. He could look at this every day until he died and never get tired of it. “Well, it just so happens I’m not wearing them, either.” Eggsy slides into bed. 

Harry immediately rolls to cover Eggsy’s body with his own, gently kissing him. “I like you not wearing my pajamas.”

Eggsy snickers, tongue flicking out to tease against Harry’s slips. “I like you not wearin’ them, either.” His hands snake around to grab Harry by the arse, pulling him until he’s completely on top of him. “Harry,” he whispers. His hands slide up Harry’s back to push through his hair. “Yer so fuckin’ beautiful, ‘arry. How in the world could I ever want some stupid girl in a bar when I have you?”

“Once upon a time you might have chosen them over me.” Harry buries his face in Eggsy’s throat, hating the thought. He still occasionally wonders if Eggsy will ever want to do something with a woman. If Eggsy begged, if he really wanted it, Harry would join in, or even give approval for him to do it alone, but it isn’t something he would ever wish for.

“Once upon a time I didn’t know you. Now I do, and you’re all I will ever choose.” Eggsy fists his hand in Harry’s hair and pulls him back up. “I love you, Harry Hart.”

“Remember how I said earlier that I would decide how you come tonight?” Eggsy sighs and nods. “I’ve decided. I want to be inside you.” Harry reaches under the pillow and pulls out the lube he’d hidden there while Eggsy was still in the bathroom. “I want to make love to you. I want you to come with me deep inside, calling my name.”

“Fuck, yes, Haz.” 

Harry has always thought that doing the same thing over and over, even for a year, would get old. This most certainly doesn’t. The way Eggsy runs his hands through his hair as Harry sucks his cock. The way Eggsy gasps as Harry bites the inside of his thigh as he works a second finger in. The way Eggsy begs him please to fuck him, saying he needs Harry inside of him. That could never EVER get old.

“My God, Eggsy…” Harry shudders as he slowly slides in. Eggsy’s strong legs wrap around his waist, his arms around Harry’s shoulders. 

“Feel so good, ‘arry…” Eggsy arches up, pulling Harry in deeper.

“I love you,” Harry whispers. He buries his face in Eggsy’s chest, keeping his strokes slow and strong. “I cannot imagine my life without you.”

“You are the best thing that ever happened to me,” Eggsy tells him. He pants a bit as Harry licks up and flicks his tongue over his earlobe. “You’ve given me so much.”

“Always will…always will give you everything you need.” Harry quickens his pace.

“Yes, ‘arry, that’s what I want…what I need, please…” Eggsy reaches down and slowly begins to stroke himself. “Feels like I was made to have you inside me.”

“Jesus Christ,” Harry whispers, the words going right to his cock.

Eggsy takes his time, working himself in a way that brings him slowly to the edge. “Harry…fuck, Harry…I love you…” He shudders as he comes, spattering over his hand and his stomach.

“Eggsy…” Harry moans, face pressed against Eggsy’s shoulder. “You are so FUCKING perfect.” Harry comes, the feeling pushing from the small of his back and erupting inside Eggsy.

They pant in each other’s arms, giving small kisses wherever they can reach. “New rule…in Scotland, the person on top goes to get the flannel,” Eggsy says.

“Well, I guess you’ll be on top an awful lot from now on,” Harry says. He groans and slowly pulls out. He hurries to the hallway bath and comes back with a flannel. “Or perhaps we can plan ahead next time.”

“We are super spies. Our job is ta assess tha situation an’ plan ahead,” Eggsy agrees. Harry shivers as he returns the flannel to the bath. He turns off the light and almost dives under the covers, pressing himself against Eggsy.

“I meant it, Haz,” he whispers. “When yer inside me…it’s like ya just fit so fuckin’ perfect.”

“Well…I’ve never been told that before. That is…quite the compliment.” Harry actually blushes a bit.

“Could do a cheesy movie quote…somethin’ like “you complete me.” How’s that?”

“Dreadful.” Harry smiles in the dark, pulling Eggsy closer. “Which is why I love it.”


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm almost finished with this story and am planning the next one. I am asking for assistance - the next story stays in this universe but will alternate current time with flashbacks. I'm looking for ideas for the flashback chapters...things people want to see fleshed out from mention in this or Loud and Clear, or things they just think they'd like to know. Examples: the first time Alan and Harry had sex, when Merlin and Harry had that situation in the alley, when Daisy realizes Eggsy loves Harry, stuff like that. You can leave comments here or in future chapters, or on Tumblr...my name there is zebraljb and I made a post about it also. Thank you.

THIRTY

“Hey, Muggsy, pay attention.” A familiar hand slaps against his face and he winces. “Got somethin’ fer ya.”

“Dean, I don’t got time fer yer fuckin’ games. Gotta go home…makin’ dinner fer ‘arry. He may not mind bein’ late, but I do.” Eggsy tries to stand and realizes he’s tied to a chair.

“That’s just it. Don’t think ya gotta worry about him bein’ late anymore.” Dean drags a chair over and flips it backwards before straddling it and sitting down. Eggsy doesn’t recognize the room they’re in. “Won’t be home at all, now, will he?”

Fear shoots through Eggsy. “What did ya do with ‘im, ya evil fuck? Where’s my husband? What did you do?”

“Husband…so fuckin’ cute, aren’t ya. Pair of fuckin poofs is what ya are. WERE,” Dean corrects. He pulls a familiar ribbon from his pocket and dangles it in front of Eggsy like a hypnotic charm. “M’here ta tell ya, Muggsy, yer beloved husband ain’t comin’ home.”

“What?” Suddenly Eggsy can’t breathe.

“C’mon, ya stupid idiot. Old man like that can’t keep up with ya, can he? Practically twice yer age, an’ yer always runnin’ around with him, keepin’ ‘im up half tha night fuckin’, ain’t ya?”

“None of yer fuckin’ business, ya tosser. Where’d ya get that medal?”

“Isn’t this what yer lot does? Go to tha mournin’ wifey or mummy, give ‘im a song an’ dance about how special their bloke was? I’m tha lucky one that gets ta give ya the good news.” Dean’s eyes are red and angry, but he’s enjoying this. “Yer bloke wasn’t fuckin’ special. Just keeled over an’ died, didn’t he? Didn’t even ask fer ya.”

“He’d ask fer me,” Eggsy whispers, struggling to get free.

“He died cursin’ yer name, Muggsy. Heart stopped. Guess ya didn’t take very good care of it, didya?”

Bile rises in Eggsy’s throat. “Haz…”

“Stupid nickname, but then again, ya always were a stupid little shit. Never learned better, didya?” Dean forces the medal and its ribbon into a ball and palms it. “Let’s see how ya look with this stuffed down yer throat. Ya like things going in yer mouth, don’t ya, ya sick little fuck?”

 

Eggsy shakes awake, gasping for breath as he sits up. He throws back the covers, feeling the vomit crest into his mouth. He barely makes it down the hall to the toilet, clutching the side of the commode as his stomach empties. He’s gasping for breath, never getting quite enough oxygen as he breathes in. He leans his face against the cool porcelain, trying to get a decent breath. Hands settle on his shoulders and he shoves them away, bringing a leg back and kicking with all his might. “Don’t you touch me you fuckin’ bastard!” Eggsy snarls. He hears someone hit the floor with a groan and he slowly turns around. “Harry! Oh, fuck, Harry, I’m…” He can’t finish the sentence, panting so hard for breath he’s seeing stars. 

“Eggsy, darling…relax…breathe…”

“Can’t…don’t touch me…killed…your heart…”

Harry flushes the toilet and shuts the lid, lifting Eggsy under the arms. “Sit down. Head between your knees. Breathe.” The order’s given in Galahad’s voice, and Eggsy immediately obeys. A gentle hand rubs his spine. “Slowly in, slowly out.” He rubs his hand up with the inhale and down with the exhale.

Eggsy starts to shiver, wrapping his arms around his knees as he slowly catches his breath. “Harry,” he whispers. 

Harry runs a flannel under warm water and slowly wipes at Eggsy’s face. “Shh, my boy, no talking yet. Just breathing. When you’re ready, you can brush your teeth.” He hears Harry prepare his toothbrush and suddenly he feels like he’s six years old. For some reason that irritates him.

“I can do that. I’m not a child,” Eggsy snaps. “Just leave me alone.”

“Very well.” He hears Harry leave the room.

After about ten minutes, Eggsy slowly stands up. He’s breathing normally and no longer feels the need to vomit. He brushes his teeth and splashes cold water on his face. He slowly pads back to the bedroom, realizing along the way that he’s still completely naked. Harry is seated on the bed in his red dressing gown. “I’m sorry,” Eggsy whispers.

“Would you like to be alone? There are other rooms and I…”

“Don’t leave me,” Eggsy whispers, and a dam breaks. He whimpers and Harry stands up, opening his arms. Eggsy buries his face in Harry’s chest and starts to shiver again.

“Darling boy, I’m not going anywhere. Come to bed. Get under the covers.” Harry holds them back and Eggsy climbs in. Harry discards his gown and joins Eggsy, and Eggsy dives into his arms as soon as he’s laying down. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean ta snap at ya.”

“It sounded like a horrible nightmare,” Harry says quietly. “You screamed my name.”

“I dunno why I even had one. This was a wonderful day.” Eggsy sniffles a bit, hand stroking down Harry’s side, making sure he’s still there.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Dean.” Eggsy barely gets the word out before Harry stiffens in his embrace. “He…he came ta give me a Kingsman medal cuz ya died…said it was my fault. I wore ya out, ya had a heart attack.”

“My boy.” 

“You died cursin’ my name cuz it were my fault.”

“Eggsy, if I were to die tomorrow, my last breath would not curse your name. It would thank whatever higher power exists for putting you in my life.” Harry kisses his forehead. “And you have not worn me out, my heart is fine, I just had a physical last month. You know that.”

“I know.”

“I’m sure this is all because of your visit to Degore’s parents. I know it was incredibly difficult for you, and you were brave and wonderful. I’m certain this is just your subconscious brain dealing with it. I’m so sorry you had this dream.”

“He…he said your heart stopped because I didn’t take very good care of it,” Eggsy whispers. 

“Apparently this is a fear you have, Eggsy.” Harry rocks him a bit. “Believe me when I say I trust you with my heart. I trust you with my everything.” Eggsy sniffles and shivers again. “I know it seemed real but it wasn’t. I am here, I am alive, Dean will never bother you again, and he most definitely would NEVER get his hands on a Kingsman medal.”

“Right.” Eggsy thinks for a moment. “Biggest fear of my life…someone knockin’ on my door ta tell me ya…”

“Quiet.” Harry pinches his side. “Besides, that’s not how I plan on going out. I’m going to bury myself balls deep inside of you, have the best orgasm of my life, fall asleep with you in my arms, and just never wake up.”

Eggsy makes a strangled sound. “Don’t think I’m ever gonna get it up again after hearin’ that, luv.”

“I’m sorry. I was wrong. I’m going to probably drop dead at my desk at work. Merlin will work me to my grave.”

“Haz, please, just shut tha fuck up, all right? I know yer tryin’ ta help…not helpin’.”

“What will help?”

“Holdin’ me. Let me wake up t’morrow and see your beautiful face, gorgeous eyes, wonderful smile very first thing.”

“I can do that.”

“Okay.” Eggsy snuggles close.

When Eggsy wakes up five hours later, the first thing he sees is Harry’s face on his pillow, smiling at him as he gently runs his fingers through Eggsy’s hair. “Good morning, Mr. Hart.”

“Mmm…morning, Mr. Hart.” Eggsy gives him a sweet kiss before pulling back. “Wait a minute…’arry, did you go back ta sleep?”

“Probably. For a bit.” Harry tenderly caresses Eggsy’s cheek. “I wanted to make sure the first thing you saw was what you asked for. Me awake and smiling at you. You are worth a few hours’ sleep.”

“I love you so fuckin’ much, Haz.” Eggsy rolls over and covers Harry’s body with his own, passionately kissing him. 

“I love you, too. Now, why don’t you go brush your teeth again, take a shower, make us breakfast, and I’ll nap for a bit.”

Eggsy studies him carefully. He looks tired but otherwise fine. “Harry…”

“Go. I want a full English. Tea. Perhaps juice. In bed.” Harry shoves him away and snuggles under the covers. “Or you’re not allowed in this bed again.”

“Yes, sir.” Eggsy bites Harry’s shoulder before crawling out of bed.

 

Harry’s fully aware that Eggsy’s dogging his steps that morning, and he doesn’t mind…too much. He knows the effect a bad dream can have, and he’s not going to point it out to Eggsy, who would only be embarrassed. He does have to put his proverbial foot down, however, when he almost falls over Eggsy as he gets out of the shower. “Jesus, Eggsy!” Harry catches himself on the wall and gasps for breath. “WHAT are you doing on the bathroom floor?”

“Just wanted ta hang out with ya…checkin’ email.” Eggsy holds up his phone. “Also…like tha view.” He runs his hand up Harry’s naked thigh.

“No.” Harry smacks his hand away. “Eggsy Unwin-Hart, I am not planning on having a heart attack today or any other day in the foreseeable future. I cannot live my life with you on the floor at my feet.” He stops and ponders that thought for a moment. Eggsy raises an eyebrow. “All right, perhaps I could live my life that way, but you kneeling at my feet and sucking my cock is a different situation entirely. I am fine, my boy. If anything, I could die from a head injury caused by me falling over you. Up. NOW.”

“Ooh.” Eggsy slowly stands, pressing himself against Harry as he rises. “I think I like when ya get all bossy.”

“That bossy is going to come with a spanking you will NOT enjoy,” Harry says sternly. Eggsy pouts. “Sit on the commode and talk to me if you wish, but no more lurking. I’m fine.” He wraps a towel around his waist as Eggsy opens his mouth to speak. “Unless you don’t believe that, and we will spend the rest of our holiday doing completely non-strenuous activities.” Eggsy’s pout moves to a frown. “I thought so.” Harry wets his toothbrush. “Ideas for today, then?”

“Originally thought we could hike or somethin’, but…”

“Hiking sounds lovely. I hope out of the numerous pair of shoes you brought there is a pair suitable for hiking?”

“We’re not walkin’ tha fuckin’ Alps, ‘arry.” Eggsy rolls his eyes.

“Such a smart mouth.” Harry says around his toothbrush. He almost chokes on it as he feels a pair of lips move up the back of his damp legs. “Christ.” Harry drops the toothbrush in the sink and grabs the side of it just in time. He shudders as Eggsy’s tongue licks a drop of water behind his knee.

“You was sayin’ somethin’ about my mouth?” Eggsy lifts the towel and gently bites Harry’s thigh.

“I was saying that it’s filthy and you should be severely punished.” Harry’s eyes fluttered closed as Eggsy stands and presses behind him, hands sliding up Harry’s chest.

“I can’t wait, luv.” He pinches Harry’s nipples, kisses his back, and says, “I’ll be in tha bedroom finding a “suitable” pair of shoes.” 

“I hate you,” Harry says, looking down at the now tented towel. Eggsy chuckles and leaves the room.

 

“This is incredible.” Eggsy takes a deep breath and slowly exhales. “Seen a lotta nice things…national monuments an’ palaces an’ shite like that. But this…” He motions to the beautiful river in front of them. “Makes me feel like I ain’t ever seen anything.”

“Agreed. Natural beauty is like nothing else.” Harry stands close behind him, hands on Eggsy’s waist. Their hike hadn’t been more than a nature walk, but it was something they’d never done together before. They’d held hands as they walked the dirt path, Harry actually helping Eggsy over some of the rocky parts instead of the other way around. Contrary to what he’d said, Eggsy only had showy trainers and not good walking shoes. Harry was going to make sure he never lived it down. 

“Never got to go into nature much,” Eggsy says softly, almost as if he doesn’t want to disturb the perfection. “Not too many field trips in tha estates. Just a park here and there.”

“We should do this more often on our down time,” Harry suggests. “Just a day trip.”

“I’d like that. Maybe bring Daisy?” Harry nods. “She’d love it.”

“When you retire from Kingsman, we’ll get a little cottage like Merlin’s,” Harry murmurs in Eggsy’s hair. “We’ll take long walks like this, snuggle by the fire. Have friends and family over. Merlin…Roxy and James…Daisy and her children…”

“Christ, don’t rush it,” Eggsy moans. “She’s growin’ too fast already.”

“And every night I will make love to my gorgeous husband,” Harry continues, ignoring his words. 

“Ya do realize how ancient you’ll be if I’m retirin’, right?” Eggsy looks back over his shoulder with a grin. “You an’ Merlin will be old an’ grey.”

“Merlin is already old, and I’m going grey, so we’re halfway there.” Harry sighs and pulls away. “You can’t keep your mouth shut for five minutes and allow me to enjoy my fantasy?”

Eggsy turns around. “I would NEVER interrupt yer fantasies, ‘arry. They usually turn out so well for me.” He winks. “But no talkin’ about anyone retirin’ just yet.” He turns back around again and wraps Harry’s arms around his waist this time. “We should come here again, though, if Merlin’s okay with it. Maybe invite him along.”

“I think he’s probably seen this view a hundred times, Eggsy.”

“But not with us. He needs someone…and we both know he’s never gonna go lookin’. He’s fine with it, I think, but…he needs to not be lonely all the time.”

“Many husbands wouldn’t approve of you wanting to spend so much time with a third party,” Harry gently teases.

“Many husbands ain’t you, Haz. Besides, it’s not a third party. It’s yer best friend.”

“Silly boy…you do realize you’re my best friend, don’t you?” Harry feels Eggsy freeze in his arms. He frowns as Eggsy turns around. Eggsy’s staring at him, eyes wide. “You…did I say something wrong?”

“Did you just say I’m your best friend?”

“Yes, I did. Didn’t you call me your best mate once?”

“Yeah, and you are. But…Merlin’s…”

“Merlin’s my oldest friend, certainly. But you…you’re my…best…” Harry trails off as Eggsy grabs him and kisses him. Harry finally has to push him away so he can breathe. “What was that?”

“I’m yer best friend.”

“Of course, darling. You’re my husband. Merlin means a great deal to me, and he knows things about me that no one probably ever should, but you…I trust you with more than anyone else on this planet.”

“I love you,” Eggsy murmurs, looking up at Harry with a dazed expression.

“I love you, too.” Harry can’t help but chuckle at the look on his face. “Now let’s move along. You have that “I want to snog you all day” look on your face, and I’m not sure the other hikers on the trail would appreciate it.”

“They might learn a little somethin’,” Eggsy says, but he takes Harry’s hand and starts to walk.


	31. Chapter 31

THIRTY-ONE

Eggsy’s having a wonderful dream. Strong familiar hands are ghosting along his naked back, massaging and stroking, finding every knot and working it free. “I love you, my darling boy,” Harry murmurs in his ear, and Eggsy slowly pulls awake and realizes it’s not a dream.  
“Love you, too, Haz,” Eggsy mumbles into his pillow. He starts to roll over, but Harry stops him with a hand on his waist.

“No. Just relax.” Harry’s mouth starts working over Eggsy’s back. “I’m so lucky. Such a beautiful boy…all mine…wonderful brilliant darling boy.”

“Mmm…” Eggsy sighs both at the words and the sensation of Harry’s tongue along his spine. 

That evil tongue drags down Eggsy’s back. “If I had my way, I’d spend every waking minute here in bed with you, worshipping your sinful body.”

“All yers, ‘arry…whenever you want…love you, love your hands. Love your mouth,” Eggsy whispers. His cock is rock hard underneath him, and he rubs against the sheets a bit.

“Are you hard, darling?” Harry’s hand slides under his body. “Oh, yes you are…shall I take care of it for you?”

“Please,” Eggsy whimpers.

“My pleasure.” Harry kisses along Eggsy’s waist, and then Eggsy feels gentle kisses on his backside. “I wanted you to wake up this morning in a good way…not a nightmare.” Hands slowly spread him and then Harry’s tongue is there, kissing and flicking.

“Ohh…fuck, ‘arry…this is a very very good way…”

“Good, my sweet boy.” Harry’s tongue continues to move slowly, occasionally moving inside just a bit. Eggsy whimpers again, hands clutching at his pillow. A finger starts to dart in and out in time with his tongue and Eggsy gasps.

“Harry…yer killin’ me…”

“I won’t do that, I promise.” Eggsy hears the lube open and there’s a slick finger slowly pressing inside. Eggsy presses against the mattress, groaning as the sheets rub against his cock. He doesn’t think he’s ever been this hard. “None of that, Eggsy.” A strong hand presses on his lower back. “I’ll take care of you.”

“Please,” Eggsy begs, toes actually curling by the time Harry works in a second finger.

“I wish I could do this and see your face,” Harry murmurs. “You’re so beautiful when you first wake up, and then when you come apart…breathtaking.”

“Mmmm…” Eggsy groans into the pillow.

Harry continues at this maddening pace until he has a third finger easily sliding in and out. “Are you ready for more, darling boy?”

“Yes, please, Harry, fuck me…”

“Not this morning, my love.”

Eggsy’s head leaves the pillow. “What?” Harry’s NEVER said no. EVER. Eggsy doesn’t live in a world where Harry says no to fucking him.

“Shhh. Sweet boy, relax. I’ll take care of you.” Eggsy hears the lube again and then something is teasing at his hole, just barely sliding in and out. It’s big, but not painfully so.

“What…’arry…”

“Relax,” Harry murmurs, and he’s kissing at Eggsy’s spine again.

“Oh…sweet FUCK, ‘arry…” Eggsy sobs in a breath as that something fills him. He groans and lets his head drop down.

Suddenly Harry’s breath is warm on his ear and that lovely thickness is still moving in and out. “I want to save all my energy and stamina for tonight, Eggsy. I want to make sure I can last long enough to make you scream. But this morning I wanted so much to waken you with love…and then I remembered all the things I packed in my suitcase.”

“You packed sex in your suitcase?” Eggsy blurts out, and doesn’t even care that it sounds horrible.

Harry chuckles against his shoulder, giving the toy an evil twist that makes Eggsy shudder. “If you’d like to think so.”

“Fuck…FUCK, Harry…” The toy stops moving and Eggsy’s entire body contracts. “Haz!”

“Does it feel good, Eggsy?” He moves it a bit faster as he sucks on Eggsy’s earlobe.

“Yes, so fuckin’ good, ‘arry, please…don’t stop.”

“I won’t stop, my precious boy. I want you to come so hard you forget your name.”

“Think that’s a pretty…fuck…sure thing…”

“Good?” Harry pulls it all the way out and shoves it back in.

“Jesus FUCK ‘arry, so good…”

“Better than me? Does it feel better than I do when I’m inside you?”

“N-no, ‘arry, never!”

“Good,” Harry snarls. He kneels behind Eggsy and reaches around to stroke his throbbing cock. “Pretend it’s me, Eggsy. Pretend it’s me fucking you.”

“Jesus…Haz…oh fuck FUCK…” Eggsy humps himself into Harry’s hand, knowing he probably looks like a total slut. “Please…”

“I could fuck you with this forever,” Harry says. “You look so sinful…I love you…” He bites down on the tender skin of Eggsy’s mid-back, sucking it between his teeth.

“Fuck, ‘arry!” Eggsy shoves back onto the toy and forward into Harry’s hand and comes. His entire body shudders as he comes and he can barely hold himself up. He manages to roll over onto his side while come still spurts from his body.

Harry pauses for a moment, waiting for the aftershocks to fade. He slowly removes the toy and sets it aside, curling up behind him. Eggsy realizes Harry’s in his dressing gown and pajamas. “Are you all right?”

“Mmph,” Eggsy manages, hiding his face in the pillow.

“I meant what I said. I wanted to waken you in a pleasant way, make you open your eyes to something good, not a nightmare.” He kisses Eggsy’s shoulders.

“Mmm,” Eggsy replies. It was very good, it was very pleasant, it was a wonderful way to wake up, and Eggsy’s actually completely embarrassed. He’s done everything with Harry, wants to do even more, but something about the way he’d given himself over to Harry fucking him with the toy shames him. It’s not something they’ve done much.

“Eggsy.” Harry shakes him a bit but he refuses to move his face from the pillow. “Eggsy.” Harry sounds alarmed now. “Eggsy Unwin-Hart, tell me what’s wrong.”

Eggsy slowly turns to face him but can’t meet his eyes. “Nothin’. That was wonderful, ‘arry. Thank you.”

“Thank you? Thank you? You never fucking THANK me for sex.” Harry looks horrified. “Did I hurt you? Was that too much first thing in the morning? I…I’m sorry. I suppose we should have talked about that sort of thing…regarding sleeping and waking up and what we don’t want.”

“Don’t, ‘arry, no. Yer fine. Ya didn’t traumatize me or nothin’. Just…” Eggsy shrugs, trying to find words. “I want ya so bad an’ ya always know what ta do ta get me goin’…sometimes feel like a…like a bit of a slag…like I’ll spread my legs fer ya no matter what ya want.” He shrugs again.

“Eggsy, please don’t ever be ashamed of wanting me. Believe me when I say it’s one of the most flattering ways you can show you love me. No one has ever just WANTED me. Sometimes I can tell by the way you look at me that you’re trying to find a way to get me on the closest flat and sturdy surface. That’s an amazing feeling. But then there are other times when I can tell you’re using our bodies to show your love for me, and that’s even better.”

“Alan wanted ya,” Eggsy says in a tiny voice.

“Alan wanted a hole to fuck that he didn’t have to lie to. I was that available hole…although he did end up lying to me.” 

“Fucking prick,” Eggsy says savagely. Harry kisses the back of his neck. 

“Do you not want to play with toys again? We don’t have to. I just…I get afraid you’ll get bored with me, and I wanted…”

Eggsy whirls around in Harry’s embrace and almost knocks him off the bed. “Shut up, ‘arry. Shut up right now. I could never EVER get bored with ya. EVER. Not in bed, not outta bed. Every single time we get horizontal it’s somethin’ new, an’ I love it. Don’t get self-conscious just because I acted like a whore once ya shoved a toy in my arse.”

“You didn’t act like a whore, Eggsy.” Harry smiles devilishly. “Well, you did, but you’re MY whore. No one else gets to do that to you, no one else gets to see you that way. Isn’t the definition of a whore, or a slut, or a slag someone who wants it from as many people as possible? That is NOT what’s happening here at all.”

“Okay, the way my dick just jumped at ya callin’ me yer whore totally contradicts what I was upset about,” Eggsy admits, and Harry laughs. “Shut up.”

“You’re my whore, you’re my beautiful husband, and I love you. I love how you respond to me and you drive me crazy every time we do anything at all.”

“I love you an’ you can shove a toy up my arse whenever ya want,” Eggsy says. “Sorry I had a meltdown.”

“Sometimes your meltdowns are good for me,” Harry admits. Eggsy gives him an odd look. “It makes me realize I’m not the only one with insecurities.”

“Shall we shove a toy up YER arse an’ see what your insecurities are?” Eggsy raises an eyebrow.

“Not today, my love. It’s already half-ten, and you wanted to go look at the shops.”

“Half-ten?” Eggsy sits up. “Jesus. Ya let me sleep tha day away!”

“You needed it after last night. Go shower, and…”

“Nah…I’ll clean up a bit but shower after I eat.” Eggsy rubs his stomach.

“All right. I’ll wait for you.” Harry helps Eggsy out of bed and begins to strip the sheets. “Looks like it’s a laundry day. I believe we’ve already gone through the supply of bedding.”

Eggsy snickers. “So it really is like a honeymoon. A…honeyversary.”

“Adorable.” Harry kisses his nose. 

Eggsy winces as he starts to walk away, feeling a bit more sore than usual. He doesn’t mind; that usually just makes the activities stay fresh in his memory. He quickly washes up, cleans his stomach and pulls on his puppy robe. “Feel like I could eat a horse,” Eggsy says as they go downstairs.

“Nothing too heavy, if you want to go for lunch later,” Harry says. He stops in the doorway of the kitchen.

“What?”

“Those weren’t there when I came upstairs. I got up around seven, made myself tea, puttered around a bit until I wakened you.” Harry frowns. There are two small boxes and a large box on the table.

“Calm yerself, Galahad, there’s a note.” Eggsy opens the envelope. “It’s from Merlin. Mr. Campbell probably rang, we didn’t answer, and he let himself in. Creepy fuck. Thank God we don’t have a bedroom on this floor…bastard would probably stand at tha window an’ watch us.” Eggsy scans the note. “He says he hopes we’re havin’ fun…the two little boxes are gifts he forgot ta give us, sent ‘em express…an’ oh!” Eggsy tosses the note and grabs the large box. “This is mine.”

“He sent you a gift?”

“No, Jealous Jenny, this is my anniversary gift for you. It wasn’t finished before we left, an’ he promised he’d send it along.” Eggsy’s bouncing on his heels. They’d exchanged gifts before they left, but this was the special thing he’d been planning for weeks.

“You gave me sixteen bottles of my favorite wine. I shudder to think how you blackmailed the agents into stopping in Italy to get it for you,” Harry says.

“Don’t take much, everyone loves me,” Eggsy says confidently. “You can open this after I eat. Let’s open the gifts from Merlin.” He places the large box on the counter and reaches for the box marked “Eggsy.”

“You’re so adorable when it comes to gifts,” Harry says. He takes his box and pulls at the ribbon. “Oh for fuck’s sake,” he growls. In the box is a black coffee mug with his name in a beautiful script along with a picture of a colorful peacock.

“That’s great!” Eggsy giggles, then opens his own. “Merlin…” He shakes his head. His mug is green with his name and a picture of a monkey. “Now…breakfast.” Eggsy goes to raid the refrigerator.

 

It takes a large plate of fruit and three pieces of toast before Eggsy deems himself full. He takes Harry by the hand and drags him into the living room. He sits Harry on the sofa, places the box in the middle, and sits at the other end. He looks absolutely terrified.

“My darling boy, you know that I don’t need any sort of fancy gift from you. I tell you time and time again, you’re my gift.” Harry reaches out and takes his hand.

“I know. I feel tha same. But this…it sounded sweet an’ sappy an’ romantic in my head, but now I think it might just be stupid.”

“I’m sure it isn’t.” Harry gives him a reassuring smile.

He pulls the ribbon and opens the box. He moves aside a pile of green tissue paper and pulls out a large stuffed bear. He’s shocked at first, then smiles as he realizes what the bear is wearing. He has on a white and gold snapback and a garish track suit of white, gold, and black. On his feet are a pair of winged Adidas trainers. He even has blue eyes. “I know ya probably think it’s silly,” Eggsy begins.

“It’s adorable, my boy. I will always think of you when I look at it.”

“See, that’s the point. I know yer not tha type ta have stuffed toys, but…this is different. It’s fer when I’m in tha field. Merlin told me once how ya haunt him when I’m not around…how lonely an’ scared ya get, even if ya don’t admit it.” Eggsy picks it up and puts it in Harry’s arms. “Hug it. Hug it tight, like it’s me.”

Harry feels foolish, but Eggsy’s eyes are worried and he knows he cannot refuse. He picks up the bear and hugs it tightly to his chest. He hears and feels something at the same time. “It…it has a heartbeat.”

“Yes, it does. It’s mine. My heartbeat.” Harry feels all the oxygen leave the room. “I talked ta Merlin, an’ we worked with Sandi. She recorded my heartbeat and Merlin devised a thing ta put inside. When you hug it, it will have my heartbeat.” Harry just gapes at him. “I…I thought it would help ya when I was gone. But, yeah, I guess it’s stupid. Ya don’t have ta keep it. You can throw it away, or whatever, an’ I can just…”

Harry stands up and carefully sets the bear on the table. “Come here.” Eggsy slowly stands. “My boy…this…” A tear slides down his cheek and he doesn’t even care. Eggsy’s eyes widen. “You…thoughtful is a horrible word but it’s all I can come up with. My sweet boy, this is the best gift you’ve ever given me, other than your wonderful self.”

“Always said you had my heart.” Eggsy smiles shyly. “Now ya really do.”

“Now I really do.” Harry pulls him into a crushing hug. “I love you so much, Eggsy.”

“Love ya, too, Harry. Happy anniversary.”


	32. Chapter 32

THIRTY-TWO

Merlin often receives random alerts on his glasses, everything from agents returning to missions to intel on various organizations. More often than not he ignores them, but he can’t ignore this. It’s 8:00 in the morning, he’s on his way to his office from his suite, and the office alarm is going off in his ear. He winces, taps the glasses, and opens a program on his clipboard. Someone’s entered his office that most certainly is not him.

He practically tiptoes down the corridor and enters his password into the keypad. He grabs the handle of the door immediately and slowly opens it. A figure is standing at his desk, a very familiar figure with strong legs, a slender waist, and light brown hair. He’s mumbling to himself as he organizes something on Merlin’s desk.

Merlin smiles to himself, surprised at how happy he is to see this particular figure. He silently crosses the room, puts his hands behind his back, and leans to whisper in a sensitive ear. “Might I ask what you think you’re doing in here, lad?”

“Jesus!” Eggsy whirls around and almost falls onto Merlin’s desk. “Fuck, you sneaky bastard!”

“Welcome back, Mr. Hart,” Merlin says with a grin.

“Idiot.” Eggsy throws himself into Merlin’s arms and Merlin can only hug him back. 

“How did you get in here?”

“Blew ‘arry until he forgot ‘is name, made ‘im give me yer password,” Eggsy says proudly. 

“Your mouth should be a registered weapon,” Merlin admits. “But why?”

“Wanted ya leave yer gifts…surprise ya.”

“I’m sorry if I ruined the surprise. You didn’t need to get me anything.” Merlin’s eyes widen. “Is that Glenmorangie?”

“Haz said it’s yer favorite.” Eggsy arranges the bottle on the desk. “Know you can get it yerself, but…” He shrugs. 

“It is my favorite. Thank you.” Merlin leans around Eggsy and picks up the mug. It’s red with the name “Merlin” and a picture of a hawk.

“Don’t know that it’s exactly a merlin, but it’s as close as we could get.” Eggsy chuckles. “Harry didn’t appreciate his peacock very much.”

“Hit too close to home, I’m sure,” Merlin says. “Thank you for thinking of me.”

“Course we thought of you. A lot, actually.” Merlin blushes a bit. “Ya doin’ okay? I mean, didya eat while I was gone? Nightmares?”

“Yes, I ate, and only one or two nightmares, I promise.” 

“Can’t say much…I had a helluva bad dream the second night, I think it was. Fuck.” Eggsy wipes a hand over his face. “Woke up screamin’, had to puke, barely made it in time.”

“Sorry, lad.” 

Eggsy shrugs. “We can tell ya all about our trip over dinner. Come to ours t’morrow night?”

“I’d love to. Oh, and Eggsy…” Merlin taps at his clipboard a bit. “Harry will have to approve this, of course, but I’m afraid you and Roxy will be out on assignment by the end of the week.”

“Me an’ Rox? Fuckin’ ACES!” Eggsy’s smile is wide. “Haven’t seen her in forever.”

“She’s definitely one of our most flexible agents. I don’t think there’s much she can’t do.”

“Arthur should be along directly. When I left he finally had his lazy arse in tha shower. He’s lucky he’s the boss.” Eggsy gives Merlin one more hug and kisses his cheek. “I’ll talk to ya later, Merlin.”

“Thank you again, Eggsy.”

“Thank you, Merlin. We had a wonderful time.” Eggsy gives him a sunny smile before leaving. 

 

“So…nervous?” Roxy asks Eggsy as they sit on the Kingsman jet. 

“No, why would I be? On a private jet with one of my best mates, dressed to tha nines…” Eggsy plays with his wedding ring.

“At least you get to wear that on a mission,” she offers, looking down at her own left hand. The diamond solitaire sparkles as she wiggles her fingers.

“True,” Eggsy admits.

“Quit bullshitting me, Unwin. You’re nervous about this.”

“It’s Unwin-Hart, idiot,” Eggsy snaps. By the look on her face he knows she’s said it on purpose. “It’s not nerves, it’s just…weird.” He shrugs. “Our job is all about pretendin’, I know that. But…pretendin’ ta be married ta someone other than ‘arry…feels wrong.”

“Well, getting Harry Hart’s used goods isn’t my idea of a good time, either.”

“Oi!” Eggsy throws a pillow at her and she laughs. He gets up to retrieve it and she stands as well.

“C’mere, you stupid berk.” She looks up at him as she hugs him. “Just be thankful it’s not a honeypot…we don’t have to…have sex.” She shudders as she says it.

“No need to say it like THAT.” Eggsy actually feels offended. “No bird ever left my bed unsatisfied.”

“Oh, I know.” She nods. “It’s written on every loo wall in London.”

“Bitch.” He kisses her forehead. “Thanks, Rox…glad this was you.” He sighs and picks up the mission folder. “Hate when we gotta deal with kids.”

“You and Harry did a wonderful job last time…I read the reports.” Roxy flips through her file. “This doesn’t seem as bad, though…the children seem much better taken care of.”

“Still sellin’ kids. Fuckin’ bastards deserve ta die.”

“Do you know I can count the amount of times I’ve held a baby on one hand?” Roxy muses. “I have no experience with children.”

“Babies are tha best,” Eggsy says with a smile, remembering Daisy when she was an infant. “Until they poop on ya, that is.” Roxy shudders again.

A screen slides down from the wall. “Lancelot…Galahad…you’re thirty minutes from touchdown in France.”

“Thanks, Merlin.” Roxy sighs as she sits down. 

“Surprised you two haven’t killed each other yet,” Merlin says in amusement.

“Only cuz we haven’t seen each other in ages. Give us time…bet on tha way back we’ll be beatin’ each other to a pulp,” Eggsy says cheerfully.

“Arthur sends his regards and best wishes for your mission,” Merlin says. “I’ll check in with you again when you land.” The screen retracts.

Eggsy sits down and starts flipping through the folder. He looks at the pages but doesn’t really see them; his mind is completely with his husband. “Eggsy…” He looks up. “We can do this.”

“Sure we can,” Eggsy says with a shrug. “No problem.” He leans his head back and closes his eyes.

 

“No need to say it like THAT,” Eggsy says. “No bird ever left my bed unsatisfied.”

Harry frowns and looks down at his lap. Eggsy and Roxy have no clue that they’re being watched, and Harry’s not going to let them know. He figures it’s probably a horrible idea to check in on them; he’s already given Arthur’s verbal approval for the mission. But something’s drawn him down to Merlin’s office, and he’s watching the feed on Merlin’s computers. He’d felt a bit better when Eggsy voiced his unease about portraying a husband other than Harry’s husband, but this comment about pleasing women in bed has completely rubbed Harry the wrong way.

“Harry,” Merlin says softly. “Would you like to talk to him?” His friend is studying him, obviously cluing in to Harry’s discomfort.

“No. I’m not here,” Harry says finally.

Merlin sighs, checks in with the agents, and sits back from the computer. “It’s the right thing, sending them in together. We needed an average couple in desperate need of a child. You couldn’t pull this one off.” Merlin gives him a saucy grin. “Harry Hart is not average.”

“No, he’s not.” Harry tries to return Merlin’s smile. “I have no problem with your assignment, Merlin. I trust you to do your job.”

“Is something going on with you and Eggsy, Harry? You seemed happy at dinner the other night. Talk to me.”

Harry picks imaginary lint off his thigh. “Nothing to…” He’s shocked when Merlin actually growls at him. “I look at them together and see the perfect couple.” Merlin opens his mouth and Harry puts a hand up. “Not like that. They are the best of friends…only friends. I know that. But this is what he could have had. Someone on his arm who looks like they belong there. Not someone old enough to be his parent, someone broken and used and halfway to his grave.” Harry swallows hard. “Someone who he can go into public with and not expect prejudice and insolence.”

“Harry…I’m not even sure where to start with all this.” Merlin removes his glasses. “Are you still so insecure about him?”

“I’m not insecure about his feelings for me. I know when he says he loves me, he means it. But he’s so young, Merlin. I feel sometimes that he…settled. He found someone to love him desperately and he wrapped himself in that love and…doesn’t see what he’s missing.”

“He might be young, but he’s not stupid.”

“No. But he’s always wanted someone to love him and take care of him. I so easily fit that requirement. He could…”

“Do NOT say he could do better.” Merlin puts his glasses back on. “I think you should really take a good look at yourself, Harry. It’s a little late to be second-guessing your marriage.” Merlin’s hazel eyes are dark. “I’ve grown to love that young man very much, and I’ll not see you hurting him with your own stupidity.” He turns back to his computer. “Lad, here’s the intel you need once you’re on the ground.”

 

“Can I call you sweetie?” Roxy asks as Eggsy drives them to the adoption center. “Or honey?”

“Honey? Eggsy wrinkles his nose. “Can I call ya babe?”

“Not if you want to keep all your teeth,” she replies and he laughs out loud.

“Merlin, is this it?” Eggsy looks at the building in front of them. “Looks like a hotel.”

“That’s the place. Remember, you’re to hand over the money, take the child, and go to the coordinates I plotted for you. Someone will be waiting there to take the baby, and you can move on. This should go much smoother than your mission in Bath.”

“I kinda liked that mission,” Eggsy says almost wistfully. “First time I got ta be married ta ‘arry, even though it wasn’t real.”

“I AM getting Harry Hart’s used goods!” Roxy says in exasperation.

“Shut it.” Eggsy pauses. “Merlin, can ya…can ya tell ‘im…”

“Aye, lad. I hear what you’re saying. He already knows your feelings but I’ll tell him.” Merlin’s voice is warm. “Remember…you’re a married couple of two years, with limited resources. You’ve borrowed from everyone you know, taken out every loan you can, just to get this baby. You’re nervous about the fact that you are indeed buying a child, but you’re willing to turn a mostly blind eye to the proceedings in order to get it.”

“Right.” Roxy checks her gun once more and puts it in her purse. “And Eggsy is NOT allowed to punch these people for what they’re doing.”

“Correct.”

“You wankers take all tha fun outta everythin’,” Eggsy grumbles as he parks the car.

They get out of the car and Roxy takes his hand. “Glad it’s us doing this,” she whispers. “We make a gorgeous couple.”

“Damn right we do,” Eggsy says, taking a deep breath. He opens the door for her and they walk up to a small reception desk. “Afternoon,” he says politely. “Do you speak English?”

“Of course,” the woman says, her English only slightly accented. “How may I help you?”

“I’m John Hamilton, and this is my wife, Melissa? We’re here to meet with Mr. Shaw.”

“Of course. A pleasure to meet you. He’s waiting for you.” She smiles at them as she stands. “I’ll take you back.”

Roxy takes a deep breath and looks at Eggsy with adoration. “I can’t believe it’s finally happening!”

“Calm down, darling girl…” But Eggsy squeezes her hand and smiles back at her. “We don’t have it yet.”

“But we will. We made it happen!” Roxy almost bounces down the hall.

“Mr. Shaw…the Hamiltons are here.”

“Ah, yes. Welcome.” The man standing before them looks like he could be working in any shop in London. He wears a clean yet inexpensive suit, and his handshake is firm. “So glad you could make it.”

“It was quite a trip, but here we are.” Eggsy waits for Roxy to sit before he joins her.

“We’ve given up everything to afford this. We want a baby so much!” Roxy gushes. “I…I can’t…” She blushes and looks at her lap.

“Stop, darling.” Eggsy takes her hand and kisses it.

“That’s why we do what we do, young lady. We provide children to those who can’t have them.”

“Just to be sure…” Eggsy frowns a bit. “The money we’re paying you…”

“Legal fees, things like that,” the man says immediately. “Some also goes to help care for the children as they wait for parents. We just…move things along a bit quicker here in France. It’s how it works.”

“I see. Because I don’t want to do anything illegal.”

“You don’t have to worry about that.” He nods to the woman who’d led them to the office. “Please bring these lovely people their daughter.”

“Daughter,” Roxy sighs. She actually pulls out a handkerchief and dabs at her eyes. “I can’t believe it.”

The woman returns with a bundle wrapped in a pink and white blanket and Eggsy’s heart actually stops. “Here you are,” she says with a smile. She hands the baby to Roxy before Roxy can stop her. 

Roxy struggles a bit but quickly holds the baby securely. “How old is she?” Eggsy asks.

“Four months,” the woman says. “Her name is Christina, unless you want to change it. We can do the paperwork…”

“No,” Roxy says. “Christina is fine.”

“Here you go, Mr. Shaw.” Eggsy opens his briefcase and hands over a stack of money. “Cash as requested, although I don’t…”

“We can purchase what the children need so much quicker with cash,” the man says smoothly. “Banks take so long.”

“Of course.” Eggsy smiles at Roxy. “May I?” Roxy quickly hands the baby over. Eggsy sighs as he inhales her soft baby smell, and none of it is an act. He loves babies. “Hello, pretty girl.” He kisses her nose and rocks her a bit as she sleeps. “That’s it?”

“That’s it. Enjoy your daughter.” Mr. Shaw gives Roxy a small envelope. “All of her documentation is in there.”

“Thank you, thank you so much!” Roxy stands on tiptoe to kiss Eggsy’s cheek. “Let’s go, sweetie, before I wake up!”

Eggsy carries the baby to the car and carefully puts her in the seat in the back. “That smarmy little fuck,” he mutters as he makes sure the baby’s blanket is tight over the seat. “Not you, little luv,” he coos.

“No punching,” Roxy snaps. “Get in the car and drive. The sooner we give her over, the sooner we can get out of here and these bastards can be taken out of business.”

 

Merlin has feeds from Eggsy’s glasses on his left and Roxy’s glasses on a monitor on his right. “That’s right, Tristan. Just hand the money over and get out of there. We’ve seen all we need to see, and our team will move in tomorrow.”

“May I?” Eggsy asks, and Roxy quickly hands the baby over. Merlin has to smile at the relief obvious in her body language. “Hello, pretty girl.” The smile Eggsy gives the baby is devastating. 

Harry stands up so quickly he knocks his chair over. “I’ll be at home if you need me, Merlin.” He marches out of Merlin’s office without another word.

“Fuck.” Merlin pinches at the bridge of his nose. “Drama queen.” He looks up as Eggsy starts the car and leaves the parking lot. “That’s right, Agent Tristan. No punching anyone.”

Merlin frowns as he sits back in his chair. This behavior of Harry’s is a bit alarming. As far as he knows, they had a wonderful time on their holiday. Dinner at their house was nothing out of the ordinary; they’d picked at each other, gushed at each other, and flirted with Merlin, just like always. He supposes Harry’s allowed a midlife crisis now and then, although Merlin wishes he’d keep it to himself.

He monitors Eggsy and Roxy until they’re safely on the plane and headed back to England. He wishes every mission went this smoothly and was over this quickly. He stops in his department, lets them know he’s leaving the property, and heads for Harry and Eggsy’s home.

He lets himself in, knowing full well that Harry can see who it is. “Harry?”

“Kitchen.”

Merlin greets Eliza and follows her to the kitchen. Harry’s sitting at the table, bottle and glass in front of him. “Oh, Harry.”

“Shut up, Merlin. You don’t get old friend privileges for this one.” Harry’s tie is off, his jacket’s on the back of his chair, and his shirt is unbuttoned.

“May I join you?”

“You know where the glasses are.” Harry pours himself another drink and fills Merlin’s glass when he sits down.

“How many is that?” 

“I’m not fucking counting.” Harry downs half the glass in one gulp. “Did you SEE that? See the look on his face when he smiled at that baby? He’s been lying to me. Fucking LYING to me.”

“How?”

“We discussed children before the last mission. We agreed that it wasn’t wise, not with our jobs. He said he’d helped raise Daisy, and that was enough. But the look on his face…he wants a baby. He wants a child of his own. I cannot give that to him. I cannot agree to it, not at my age.”

“Did he ever ask you, Harry? Do you really think he lied to you? Why? Just to keep you around? He’s not like that.”

“No, he’s not.” Harry fills his glass again. “He deserves the best. He deserves the fucking fairy tale. Loving wife, children, house, dog.”

“He has the fairy tale, Harry. Or at least his fairy tale. Loving husband, house, dog. Coming from where he’s been, don’t you think he feels this is a dream come true for him?”

“Are you really going there again, Merlin? You’re going to start on where he comes from?”

“Calm down, Harry,” Merlin says, trying to control his temper. He’s not seen Harry drunk in a very long time, and he’s forgotten how nasty he can be. “What is this solving?”

“What do I do? Am I supposed to just go on like this, be selfish, pretend he’s happy?”

“For fuck’s sake, Harry, he IS happy. What the hell brought all this on?” Merlin swipes the bottle from Harry and stands up. 

“I feel like this most days,” Harry whispers. “Usually I can push it down, fight it until it goes away. But today…it’s so real. He could have more.”

“If I didn’t think he’d kill me, I’d knock you into next week,” Merlin snaps. He takes a long swallow right from the bottle. “I don’t get paid to be your therapist.”

“You’re doing a piss poor job of it, anyway. Give me the bottle.” 

Merlin sighs and hands it over.

 

Eggsy whistles as he undoes the security protocol and lets himself in the house. “Eliza! Hello, girl. Happy ta see ya, but I was really hopin’ yer Da would great me at tha door.” He stares as Merlin walks down the hall. “Merlin! Hello. Didn’t expect…”

“Eggsy…you did a good job today.” Merlin fidgets and actually looks uncomfortable. “I think you might want to stay elsewhere tonight. Could you perhaps call your mother? Or you could stay at mine…I’ll give you my password.”

Eggsy’s blood runs cold. “Merlin, what’s wrong? Where’s ‘arry?”

“I’m in here. Merlin, quit being such a fucking guard dog. It’s his house, for fuck’s sake.”

Eggsy’s mouth falls open. He’s never heard Harry like this before. “What’s going on?”

“He’s had a bit to drink, Eggsy, and I don’t think you really want to try and talk to him right now,” Merlin says gently.

“What happened?”

Merlin pauses. “He…he’s had a rough day. Some things in your mission…”

“Merlin…” They hear a stumble and a crash as a chair tips over. Eggsy shoves past Merlin and hurries to the kitchen.

“Luv, what…” Eggsy stops short in the doorway. Harry’s face is red and his eyes are glazed over.

“There he is. The man of the hour.” Harry holds onto the table as he sways. “So sorry you need to see me like this, my boy…had a bit of a liquid lunch today.” He wipes at his face. “Obviously it’s been too long…could always hold my liquor MUCH better than this.”

“Haz…” Eggsy puts his arms around him. “Let me help ya up ta bed.”

“No. I don’t need your help. I don’t need YOU.” Harry pushes him away and Eggsy’s heart hurts. “Why didn’t you tell me the truth? Why did you let me think I was what you wanted?”

“Harry, what tha fuck? You ARE what I want. I love you. I never lied to you.”

“Do you really think I’m that stupid? That I wouldn’t find out? You said you didn’t want a woman. You said you didn’t want babies. I saw you today. I SAW you. I saw how happy you were holding her hand. I heard you say you made a gorgeous couple. I SAW the way you looked at that baby. You don’t want me, you want THAT. Fine. Go get it. Go be happy.” Harry waves his arm and almost falls over. “Always knew it wouldn’t last. Always knew I wasn’t right for you.”

“Harry,” Eggsy whispers. “Please don’t.”

“Sweet boy.” Harry kisses his forehead. “You have my blessing. Go fuck all the girls, send them away satisfied. Make babies.” He stumbles and Merlin rushes in to catch him.

“C’mon, Harry. You said your piece. Let’s get you up to bed, all right?” Merlin gives Eggsy a sympathetic glance. “I’ll be right back, lad.” Harry allows Merlin to lead him from the room. 

Eggsy sits down and stares at the bottle on the table. It’s almost empty. He finishes it in a few gulps and slams it down. Eliza whimpers and he picks her up, holding her on his lap until Merlin returns. “So. Guess he was watchin’ us?”

“Yes. He started acting strangely, and I tried to make him stop, but he’s Arthur.” Merlin shrugs. “It’s nothing you did wrong, Eggsy. He’s just…having an insecure day. He has these feelings daily, apparently. We all do…think we’re not good enough for one thing or another. But the mission, seeing you like that…it brought it bubbling to the surface.”

“Guess I don’t expect him ta have days like this. He’s Harry Hart, for fuck’s sake.” Eggsy scratches behind Eliza’s ears. “He’s wonderful. He’s wealthy, he’s posh, he’s so handsome…funny, smart, fit…why would he find himself wantin’?”

“Because he isn’t a woman and he can’t give you children,” Merlin says softly. “You can’t parade him around on your arm without worrying that some homophobic bastard is going to say something.”

“I don’t want a woman, and I don’t want kids! We talked about this.”

“He mentioned that. He’s just…” Merlin sighs. “When Harry Hart has a breakdown, it’s usually one of award-winning proportions. He’ll sober up, and he’ll feel terrible, and he’ll grovel and beg for your forgiveness.”

“And he’ll get it.” Eggsy rubs at his eyes. “Fuck.”

“You did nothing wrong, lad,” Merlin says again. He puts a hand on Eggsy’s arm. “He loves you so much. He’s terrified of losing you.”

“I know the feeling.” Eggsy picks up the bottle and drains the last few drops.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry apologizes and Eggsy gets part one of his birthday gift.
> 
> Many thanks to Arya for the birthday idea. Merhartwin.:)

THIRTY-THREE

Harry awakens the next morning with an entire sandbox full of mush in his mouth and Charlie Watts playing a drum solo in his head. “Fuck.” He rolls over, rubs at his eyes, and reaches for Eggsy. “Mmm…darling?” The bed is cold and empty next to him. He slowly sits up and waits for the world to come into focus. Eggsy’s not there. Because Harry had sent him away. “Fuck.” He winces at the sound of his own voice. He stands on shaking legs, realizing he’s only in his pants. He vaguely remembers Merlin walking him upstairs, undressing him, and tucking into bed with a terse “fix this, you fucking idiot.”

He goes to the en suite, washes his face and takes something for his aching head. He puts on hi slippers and dressing gown and goes to the spare bedroom, where the bed’s neatly made. He sighs and carefully goes downstairs, praying he’ll find his husband asleep in front of the television. He’s not there, either. Harry takes a deep breath and heads for the kitchen. “You’re still here,” he breathes with relief.

Eggsy’s face is like stone. Heavy bags lay under his eyes and he’s sipping at a cup of tea. “Why wouldn’t I be? My house, too, innit? Ya put my name on tha title, back when ya promised me forever.” He points over his shoulder. “Kettle’s on. Ya want me outta yer life, yer gonna be the one ta leave.”

Harry pours himself a cup of tea and slowly sits down, wincing as the chair scrapes against the hardwood floor. “I don’t want you out of my life.”

“Ya told me ya didn’t need me. Sent me off to, if memory serves, “fuck all the girls.” Took that as my walkin’ papers.”

“No.” Harry slowly reaches for Eggsy’s hand but he pulls it away. “My darling boy.”

“Don’t my darling boy me, Harry Hart. An’ don’t try blamin’ it on tha booze.”

Harry’s hated himself on many occasions for many different reasons, but never as much as he hates himself right now. “You deserve the best.”

“Ain’t I got tha best? Best agent, best lover, best husband, best friend?”

“No.” Harry studies his cup. “You deserve the best life. A life where you can be open and free and have babies and…”

“Harry, have I EVER acted ashamed to be seen in public with you…seen where it’s more than obvious that we’re not just friends? Have I ever put distance between us, lied when someone asked if we was together? EVER?” Harry shakes his head and winces. “Sounds like that’s YER fear. Not mine. If it bothers you that people give us shite when we’re out, please tell me. I’ll back off.”

“No!” Harry winces again. “I am so proud to have you next to me. Anywhere. I don’t give a fuck what they say.”

“Either do I. You’d better remember that.”

“The look on…on your face when you held that baby. I wish you could’ve seen it, Eggsy. It was…pure joy.”

“I know that look, ‘arry. I’ve seen dozens of pictures of that look. Pictures of me with you, smilin’ at you when yer not lookin’. Jesus, who did this to you? Who made you so insecure?”

“You.” Eggsy’s mouth drops open. “You’re so perfect, so young, so…you’ve hardly experienced ANYTHING, and you settled for a troubled old man who lives every day waiting for the other shoe to drop. You deserve a beautiful woman in your bed, adorable children with your eyes and smile. You deserve…”

“I deserve for my husband to quit throwin’ himself a fuckin’ pity party an’ believe me when I talk.” Eggsy jumps to his feet, grabs Harry from behind, and places Harry’s throat in the crook of his elbow. Harry gasps, grabbing at his arm. “Ya gonna fuckin’ listen ta me, ya stupid prick?” Eggsy snarls. Harry nods. “I’ve hardly experienced anythin’. Bullshit. I’ve experienced findin’ my mum passed out in tha fuckin’ bathtub. I’ve experienced my little sister sick with chicken pox, an’ me barely old enough ta take care of her but I had to. I’ve experienced Dean’s fist an’ his threats ta turn me out on tha street if I don’t bring money in. But ya know all that.” Harry swallows hard, fingers still digging into Eggsy’s arm. Eggsy isn’t choking him, simply holding him in place. “An’ fer all that, ya know what I deserve? Happiness. I deserve ta be happy. Ta not have ta WORK ta be happy, but just ta BE happy. And I am. With my beautiful husband in my bed. My adorable dog. My wonderful friends. An’ all of that is because of YOU. I thought I’d be happy with ya forever. But apparently you can’t believe what I say.” He shakes Harry a bit before he releases him. 

“I’m…I’m sorry…I didn’t think of it that way…my goal is your happiness.”

“Really?” Eggsy snorts and pours himself more tea. “Looks like your goal is your misery, ‘arry.” Harry sighs and studies his tea. “I meant what I said about babies, ‘arry. I love ‘em. They’re adorable and I will kiss any baby put in my face. But I don’t want one of my own…I don’t want one for US. WE are enough. We will always be enough. Look me in the fuckin’ eyes, ‘arry, an’ tell me you believe me.”

Harry slowly looks up. Eggsy’s beautiful eyes are angry. “I believe you. I swear. I’ll never bring it up again. I do believe you.”

“Good.” Eggsy studies him for a long moment. “Tell me, ‘arry, why didn’t you ever marry Merlin?”

“What?”

“Merlin. You’ve known him forever. Ya know each other inside an’ out. Ya know yer attracted to him physically. It would have been perfect. Ya wouldn’t hafta hide. No insecurities. Ya know he’s only into blokes. Ya know he don’t want kids. Maybe ya wouldn’t have loved him at first, but it woulda worked out. Ya settle on each other, an’ tha feelings grow.”

“Because it would’ve been settling. It wouldn’t have been fair to either of us, just to be together so we weren’t alone. I love him, but not like that. I’m not IN love with him. I wouldn’t just marry someone because it was the easiest thing to do, what everyone expected.”

Eggsy leans across the table and gets directly in Harry’s face. “EXACTLY. Think about that while I’m in the shower.” Eggsy gets up and leaves the room. 

 

Eggsy lets the hot water wash his anger away. He leans against the shower wall, absolutely exhausted. He’d barely slept the night before and what sleep he did get was at the kitchen table. He couldn’t bear to go upstairs. He hopes Harry could understand where he was coming from. He’s not sure what else he can do to assure Harry of his feelings for him. The arm around the throat might have been a little much, but he knows Harry trusts him enough to know he wouldn’t ever hurt him.

When he comes out of the en suite in his puppy robe, Harry is sitting on the bed with tears in his eyes. “I pushed you away. I never want you to leave. I never want you to go. I never want you to fuck anyone but me…and maybe Merlin…but mostly me.” Eggsy’s lips twitch at that. He crosses his arms over his chest and waits. “I don’t do emotions well. I don’t handle them well. In the past, when I felt emotional, I hit something, shot something, or drank something. I’m too old for that now, plus it’s not all about me anymore. I know we’ve been together for a few years now, but I’m still learning all that.” He looks up at Eggsy. “Please forgive me, forgive the words I said. I understand now. You’re right. You would never just marry some woman because it’s easy, because you “like them a lot,” because you want children. You, underneath everything, are a romantic. You marry for love.”

“And I love you, Harry Hart. Even when you’re a stubborn fucking knothead.”

“That’s exactly what I am.”

Eggsy comes to sit next to him. “Every time we hold in our emotions and don’t talk to each other, things end badly for us. Ya gotta talk to me, Haz. Even if it’s ta say, “Ya know, Eggsy, m’feelin’ a bit insecure t’day. Could I have an extra hug? Extra I love you?” I would never deny ya.”

“Eggsy…I’m feeling a bit insecure today. Could I have an extra hug? Extra I love you?” Harry asks quietly.

“Fuck, you sap. I love you.” Eggsy wraps his arms around him. “I’m sorry if I did anything ta make this happen, Haz.”

“You were only your gorgeous self. You can’t help that.” Harry groans. “I feel like hell.”

“Good. Karma’s a bitch, Mr. Hart.” Eggsy moves Harry so he can kiss him. “But I have a feeling Merlin already made excuses for us at work, so you can go back ta bed.”

“Come with me?” Harry pats the bed.

“Yes, because I didn’t sleep much. Kitchen table’s horrible for sleepin’.” He stands and stretches. “Get into bed, idiot, an’ I’ll be up after I take care of Eliza for a bit.”

“Bring me some tea?” Harry says hopefully, fluttering his eyelashes.

“No. FUCK, no, Haz.” Eggsy bursts out laughing. “Ya can’t do that look. Ya look like yer havin’ a seizure.”

“Bastard,” Harry grumbles. He removes his dressing gown and hangs it up. “If you could bring tea, that would be lovely.”

“I will.” Eggsy helps Harry into bed.

“You’re too good to me, my darling…” Harry stops himself.

“You can call me that. M’not mad anymore. I love being yer darling boy.” 

“I owe you.”

“You do. My birthday is comin’ up in a few months. Remember that.”

 

The next morning, Harry shows up at Merlin’s office with an apology basket of Merlin’s favorite tea and a notepad. “I need help.”

“Thank you, Captain Obvious,” Merlin says wryly. “Work it all out with your boy, then?”

“He’s worth ten of me,” Harry says quietly.

“Again, stating the obvious.” But he gives Harry a smile. “You said you need help?”

“It’s his birthday in two months. I have a list of things I want to do for his birthday.” He pushes the pad at Merlin.

“All right…” Merlin makes them each a cup of his expensive new Apology Tea and sits back down. “Now.” He reads down the list. “I don’t think you need my help taking him to the museum.” Harry nods in agreement. “You’re a big boy, you can take him out for dinner at that little Thai place he likes. That place IS good.” Merlin chokes on his tea. “Number three…well.” He turns red and coughs a bit. “I, uh…”

“Can you do it? I mean, would you? You don’t have to. He DID ask for it, and I have a few ideas for how that might all play out.” Harry’s grin is slow and sly. “But we can cross it off right now.”

“No…I…I can do that. It’s not like I never HAVE,” Merlin points out. “Fine. I’ll help with that.” His eyes widen. “Number four. Are you sure, Harry?”

“I am. I want to do it. But I needed to run it by you first.”

“This means you can never go out in the field again, Harry. You’d be too easily identifiable.”

“I know. I don’t think you were really planning on me going into the field, were you?” Merlin shakes his head. “All right, then. He gave me that amazing bear, Merlin. It’s the least I can do.”

“It’s not a competition.”

“I know. I just…I need him to know what he means to me, that he’s a permanent part of my life.”

“I think he gets that,” Merlin tells him, but he sighs. “You two are why I’m glad I’m single.”

“Is that the only reason the two of us make you glad?” Harry asks with a leer, and Merlin blushes again. 

 

Eggsy’s in a good mood as he returns to the house with Eliza. It’s a crisp fall evening, they’ve just had a lovely walk, and it’s the week before his birthday. He’s tried very hard not to snoop for gifts, but Harry’s wonderful at buying them and horrible at hiding them. Eggsy half-suspects Harry of planning a surprise party. He’s always wanted a surprise party, but most of their friends are spies. Not only is it difficult to get them all in the same place at the same time, but when it comes to surprises, some of the agents can get awful antsy. 

Eggsy unlocks the door, releases Eliza from her lead, and smiles as she goes running down the hall to her water dish. “My God, Eliza, we was only gone thirty minutes,” he says with a chuckle. Harry’s out with Merlin somewhere, and they have the house to themselves. He freezes as he hears someone shut her in her crate. “Eliza…come here, love,” he calls, hoping he’d been mistaken. He feels the movement behind him a second too late. A strong arm goes around his chest while a hand goes over his mouth, his feet actually lifting off the ground. He furiously kicks behind him but the person is smart, holding him to the side so nothing connects. His first thought is that he’s thankful Harry isn’t there. His second thought is that if someone just hurt his dog they’re going to be paying for it.

“Look at the little boy throwing a tantrum,” a familiar voice says in his ear.

“I thought you were a spy.” Harry slowly walks in from the kitchen, his tone taunting and smug. “Have I taught you nothing? How did you not hear him behind the door, sense his presence?” Eggsy glares at him, still unable to speak with Merlin’s hand over his mouth. “Perhaps I’m losing my touch.” Harry leans against a wall and some of the fight goes out of Eggsy. Harry’s wearing tight blue jeans and a black turtleneck. Eggsy’s never seen Harry in a turtleneck before. He vows that instant to throw away every shirt Harry has and replace them with turtlenecks.

“I doubt it’s your fault, Harry.” Merlin holds Eggsy against his body, arm tight against his chest. “Some people just don’t learn.”

“They don’t.” Harry shakes his head regretfully. “Perhaps we could give him another chance. Maybe tie him to a chair, see if he gets loose?”

“He’s a wiggler…he’d probably just wiggle right out,” Merlin says as Eggsy does try to wiggle out of his hold.

“Look at how you’re behaving, little one. So rude.” 

Eggsy glares at him again, half furious and half turned on. Merlin’s body is like steel behind him and Harry’s tone hits Eggsy in all the wrong places. He’s able to lift his hands and gives Harry his favorite two-finger salute. He then resorts to the age-old practice of licking the hand that’s covering your mouth. Merlin laughs. “He just licked me. Now, I’m sure we can find something else for this little lad to do with his tongue, can’t we, Harry?”

“We could, I suppose. It all depends how eager he is to get his birthday gift.” 

Eggsy freezes. He realizes this can only end well for him, no matter how he behaves. He allows his body to droop although his eyes still defiantly rest on Harry. “Ah, look at that. Lost a bit of his fight, hasn’t he?”

“Little boys do love getting presents.” Harry walks over as Merlin allows Eggsy’s feet to rest on the floor. “And I do have a gift for you, my boy. It’s your birthday, and we’re going to do whatever we want to you. Does that sound nice?” Eggsy slowly nods. Harry gives Merlin a look and he removes his hand. Harry cups Eggsy’s face in his hands and gives him a kiss that takes his breath away. “What do you say when someone gives you a gift?”

“Thank you, Daddy,” Eggsy whispers without thinking. “Thank you, Merlin,” he adds.

“Jesus,” Merlin groans behind him. 

“That’s my darling boy.” Harry kisses his nose. “Come along upstairs.” He holds out his hand and Eggsy takes it. He takes his first look at Merlin, who’s wearing jeans and a tight black tee. Merlin raises an eyebrow but says nothing, allowing Eggsy and Harry to lead the way upstairs. “Please undress, Eggsy.”

They both just stand and look at him. “You heard him, lad.”

Eggsy kicks off his trainers and shoves them under the bed with his foot. He toes out of his socks, and then pulls his hoodie over his head. His tee goes with it, and he’s standing in just his jeans. Harry motions for him to continue, and he steps out of his jeans and pants. Merlin licks his lips as he looks at him, then drops to his knees in front of him. Eggsy gasps as Merlin begins to stroke him, licking very gently at the head of his cock. “Shh,” Harry says. He moves to stand behind Eggsy, tilting his head so he can kiss him. “Just relax. We’ve got you…we’ll take care of everything.” Eggsy moans into Harry’s mouth as Merlin takes him in deeper. Eggsy fists one hand in Harry’s hair while the other rubs at Merlin’s head, urging him to go deeper. Harry takes the hand from his hair and guides it to his mouth. He sucks on the fingers for a moment, then moves Eggsy’s hand to his own nipple. “Touch yourself,” Harry murmurs. Eggsy moans, head falling onto Harry’s shoulder. He circles his nipple with the wet fingers before pinching it, arching into Merlin’s mouth. Harry then takes the hand that’s holding Merlin’s head and moves it to Eggsy’s cock. “Help him,” he whispers.

Eggsy moans again, slowly stroking his cock as Merlin sucks him. Merlin laves his tongue over Eggsy’s fingers and he shudders at the sensation. “It looks like he doesn’t even need us, Harry.” Merlin moves back and looks up at Eggsy, watching him play with his nipples and stroke himself. “We could just let him go, put on him the bed and watch…”

“No!” Eggsy says sharply. “Please, no.”

“Oh, poor little boy. We won’t do that to you. Stop teasing, Merlin.” 

Eggsy yanks at Merlin’s tee until he stands. He presses himself against him, standing on tiptoe to give Merlin a violent kiss. He feels Harry move behind him, and suddenly Harry is naked as well. His cock rubs against the cleft of Eggsy’s arse. “Naked, Merlin, now,” Eggsy orders, pulling at the tee and trying to wrestle it over his head and kiss him at the same time.

“Now, now, little one. You’re not in charge here.” Merlin gently takes Eggsy’s hands and pushes him away. He slowly undresses, letting his tee and jeans fall to the floor. He slowly strokes his own cock and Eggsy’s mouth waters.

“That looks good to you, doesn’t it, my boy?” Harry’s voice is a breath in his ear. Eggsy nods. “Tastes good? Fills your mouth?” Eggsy moans and nods again, moving to kneel before Merlin. “No…no, little boy. That’s not your job tonight.” Harry catches him at the waist. “That’s my job.” Eggsy feels his knees go weak. “Your job is to lay on that bed and play with yourself…work yourself open with your fingers while I suck Merlin’s dick. And then I’m going to use a toy and open you a bit more, because Merlin’s going to fuck you tonight.”

“Sweet fuckin’ Jesus,” Eggsy gasps, actually feeling a bit lightheaded. 

“Isn’t that you wanted for your birthday, my boy?”

Eggsy nods. “But you…you don’t want…” He looks at Merlin.

“Are you questioning us, Eggsy?” Harry asks.

“N-no, Daddy,” Eggsy replies, and Merlin groans again.

“Well, then, you’d better get to work, because if Merlin comes while I’m sucking him, it won’t do you much good, now, will it?”

“No.” Eggsy practically runs to the bed, where Harry has the lube and a large toy waiting. He lays down and lets his legs fall open, drizzling some lube on his fingers. He forces himself to relax as he slowly teases himself with one finger, eventually working it inside.

“That’s my good boy,” Harry says. He kneels in front of Merlin, kissing his hip before looking up at him. Merlin gently touches Harry’s check, then takes his cock in his hand and teases it along Harry’s lips.

“Fuck…fuck…I can’t…I can’t watch you…” Eggsy’s eyes flutter shut. One finger in and he already feels close to coming. 

“Watch us, lad. This is for you,” Merlin orders. Eggsy forces his eyes open and watches Merlin’s hand stroke through Harry’s hair as he slowly moves deeper and deeper into Harry’s mouth. Eggsy moans, sliding a second finger in as soon as he’s ready.

He’s barely breathing by the time he’s up to three fingers. Harry’s going as far as he can, and Eggsy can actually see the outline of Merlin’s cock along the inside of Harry’s cheek. “Fuck…that’s so gorgeous…fuck, ‘arry…”

“So good, Harry,” Merlin says quietly. He presses a bit at the back of Harry’s head and Harry chokes. 

“Christ…” Eggsy can’t wait. He fumbles for the lube and the toy, slicking it up and gently pushing it at his hole. He gasps as the tip moves inside, arching his hips up to give it better access.

“Fuck, Eggsy,” Merlin gasps. “Fuck…Harry…Harry…you have to stop…” He pulls Harry up by his hair.

Harry’s face is red and his chin is soaked. His lips are swollen and red. “Look at our little whore, Merlin. He couldn’t even wait. My husband is a cockslut, isn’t he?”

“Yes he is. He’s perfect.” Merlin crawls up the bed to kiss him as Harry moves between his legs. “Do you want my cock, lad?”

“Yes, Merlin, please…” The last word is a groan as Harry works the toy inside of him. 

“Harry’s getting you ready, Eggsy. I don’t want to hurt you, and I know I’m bigger than you’re used to.”

 

“You don’t…fuck, ‘arry…don’t hafta do this if ya don’t want…”

“You’re so sweet to me, lad.” Merlin kisses him, sucking on his tongue. “I said I prefer to bottom, not that I never top. And I really want to fuck that delicious arse of yours.”

“Please…fuck ME…” Eggsy lets out a small yell as the toy moves all the way in. “Harry…”

“I’ve got you, my boy.” Harry’s hand caresses his hip. “Does this feel good?”

“Yes, ‘arry…” Eggsy reaches for his cock but Merlin grabs his hand. Harry moves the toy at a deliciously slow pace until Eggsy finally says, “Please, Merlin, I don’t know how much longer I can last, please…”

Harry slowly removes the toy and Eggsy groans as he suddenly feels very empty. Merlin climbs over him, kissing him as Harry lubes Merlin’s cock. Merlin groans, burying his face in Eggsy’s chest. Harry slides a pillow under Eggsy’s backside, lifting him up a bit. “Let me know if this is too much, lad,” Merlin whispers. Eggsy lifts his legs, holding his own thighs to give Merlin better access. “Christ, you’re a fucking tart.” Merlin slowly pushes in and Eggsy remembers to breathe. He feels as if Merlin doesn’t have enough room, as if he won’t fit, but then he’s pressed against Eggsy, balls pushed against Eggsy’s skin. 

“Oh, my GOD…Merlin…” Eggsy can’t focus on anything but the hot pressure of Merlin’s cock inside of him. 

“You’re a fucking temptation, lad…Christ…if I was Harry I’d never let you off your fucking back.” Merlin slowly pulls out and slides back in again. 

“Merlin…you’re so fucking HUGE…Jesus…” Eggsy grabs at Merlin’s backside, urging him on.

Merlin doesn’t answer, just presses his face into his bicep as he eventually starts moving faster. Eggsy gasps for breath, exhaling on every thrust. “Eggsy, open him for me…spread him…” Harry says suddenly. Eggsy does as he asks and suddenly Merlin groans. “You’re all ready for me, Merlin…looks like Eggsy’s not the only slut around here.”

“What…” Eggsy looks at Merlin’s face. His eyes are closed and he’s biting his bottom lip.

“If you’re gonna do it, Harry, just quit talking and fucking do it. Your boy’s so tight I don’t know how long I can last.”

“I figured you weren’t the only one who deserved a gift tonight, my boy.” Harry puts one hand on one of Eggsy’s and uses the other to start sliding in and out of Merlin. “I asked him to prep himself before we got here tonight, so I could fuck him as he fucks you.”

“You…” Eggsy can’t wraps his mind around it and doesn’t want to try. Merlin stills and Eggsy tightens around him. He groans and Eggsy knows Harry’s moving inside.

“Holy fuck…fuck…don’t move, please, Harry,” Merlin begs. “I need a second…”

“Let me know, Merlin.” Harry kisses his back. Merlin’s hands slip and some of his weight falls onto Eggsy.

“It’s all right, Merlin,” Eggsy assures him.

“Harry,” Merlin breathes, and Harry pulls out. His next thrust moves Merlin into Eggsy, and they all groan.

“Love this,” Eggsy whispers to Merlin. “Love the feelin’ of yer cock inside of me, love knowin’ Harry’s fillin’ ya up. Told ya we’d always take care of ya, didn’t I? Care about ya so much, want ta give ya eveyrthin’ ya need.”

“Harder,” Merlin growls to Harry and he quickly complies. “If our boy is talking this much, something’s not right here.”

“Fuck!” Eggsy yells as Merlin slides against his prostate. “There, oh fuck, Merlin, you bastard, don’t stop…there…”

“Not much I can do, Eggsy…it’s all…fuck…all up to Harry how I move.” But Merlin changes the pace, thrusting into Eggsy and then back hard onto Harry.

Harry suddenly pulls out and Eggsy hears Merlin whimper. “Fuck him hard, Merlin,” Harry snarls, “He’s been begging for your cock for ages now. Give it to him.”

“Christ, yes,” Merlin says. He kneels and grabs Eggsy’s hips, lifting him up. 

He pushes into Eggsy so hard Eggy’s soon panting for breath. “There…yes…Merlin, gonna come…”

“Come with my cock in your mouth, my dirty little boy,” Harry says. Eggsy reaches for him and Harry thrusts into the heat of his mouth twice before Eggsy comes.

“Jesus!” Merlin gasps. 

Eggsy sucks at Harry as best he can, whining around him as he comes. Merlin growls, biting Eggsy’s shoulder. Eggsy groans loudly as Merlin pushes in as hard as he can, feeling Merlin pulse inside him as he comes. “Fuck…so good my boy…” Harry pulls out of Eggsy’s mouth but Eggsy takes him back in again, flicking his tongue over the head. Harry shouts and comes, filling Eggsy’s mouth until he coughs a bit. Eggsy swallows what he can but is gasping for breath. Harry falls panting onto the bed next to him. 

“Gently, lad,” Merlin murmurs as Eggsy relaxes his muscles and allows Merlin to slowly pull out. Eggsy cries out a bit. He’s never been this sensitive after sex before. 

“Here,” Harry says quietly. He hands Merlin a flannel and they clean Eggsy, starting at his mouth and face and finishing at his arse, gently wiping him clean. One of them is continually kissing him while the other cleans. 

Merlin finally puts the flannel away and lays on Eggsy’s other side. “Are you all right? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“No, I’m fine,” Eggsy whispers. He buries his face in Merlin’s chest while reaching for Harry’s hand.

“I’m sorry.” Something in Merlin’s voice makes Eggsy look up. Merlin’s apologizing to Harry. “I…I called him our boy. I’m sorry. I know…he’s not…it just came out.”

“Tonight he was.” Harry smiles at Eggsy. “Weren’t you?”

“Yes.” Eggsy snuggles back down. “I don’t mind. Things ya say in bed, Merlin, they don’t count, really.”

“So when you went on and on about how big Merlin was, it didn’t count?”

“Shut it, old man.” Eggsy elbows Harry in the stomach.

“So…Daddy?” Merlin raises an eyebrow. 

Eggsy blushes. “Don’t ask. I don’t know. Another one of those things that just comes out.”

“Hmm.” Merlin kisses his forehead. “Does that make me Uncle Merlin?”

“Euww, fuck no. That’s disgusting.” Eggsy pokes him. “Harry, make him shut up.”

“Shut up, Merlin.” Harry kisses him and Eggsy sighs.

“Happy birthday, lad.” Merlin kisses his face up and gives him a tender kiss.

“Happy birthday, my darling boy.” Harry turns his head and kisses him as well.


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because I am a complete and utter drama llama, there had to be a wee bit of misunderstanding before the end. Merlin and Harry are keeping secrets and Eggsy finds out...he thinks.

THIRTY-FOUR

“I love you, my darling boy.”

Eggsy feels a brush against his lips and he struggles against sleep. “Luv? Where ya goin’?” He opens one eye and squints at the clock. “It’s only seven.”

“I have an appointment in medical.”

Eggsy rubs at his eyes and sits up, suddenly very awake. “An appointment in medical? Why? What’s goin’ on? Need me ta come with ya?” He grabs for Harry’s wrist. “Sit down.”

“Calm down, Eggsy, and no I won’t sit down. If I sit down with you I’ll never leave.” Harry runs a hand through Eggsy’s messy hair. “Just a routine check-up. New procedure for Arthur. Blame Merlin.”

“Why didn’t ya tell me?” Eggsy throws back the covers and stands up, covering a yawn with the back of his hand.

“It completely slipped my mind, to be honest.” He kisses Eggsy’s forehead.

“Mmm.” Eggsy straightens Harry’s tie. “You look gorgeous.”

“You always say that.”

“You always look gorgeous.” Eggsy bites his bottom lip. “You’d tell me if somethin’ was goin’ on, right?”

“Of course, my boy.” He kisses Eggsy. “I love you. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“Love you, too,” Eggsy says. 

 

Hours later, Eggsy shows up at Harry’s office with his hands full of bags. “Ya gotta eat, ya know.” He enters the office without knocking. “Oh, Merlin! Hello…are ya busy workin’ on somethin’? I can leave this here…you can make sure ‘arry eats lunch.”

“No, lad, nothing important.” Merlin smiles at Eggsy but he sees Harry slide something into a desk drawer. “Nothing that can’t wait.”

“Join us for lunch, then? I have way too much food here.” Eggsy starts unpacking the food with the distinct feeling that he’s interrupted something. 

“I don’t…”

“Eat, old man,” Eggsy orders, pointing to a chair. “Sit yer fine arse down an’ eat.”

“Thank you, Eggsy.”

He sees Harry give Merlin an odd look. “You, too, luv.” Eggsy hands over a sandwich. “I know ya don’t always eat.”

“I think I’ll actually be happy when you go in the field again,” Harry says, rolling his eyes. “You mother me too much.”

“Someone’s gotta do it.”

“And like you really have room to talk, Harry. There’s been more than once that you’ve barged in here threatening to force feed me if I didn’t eat something.” Merlin points his sandwich at Harry.

“You forget food when you’re working,” Harry says defensively.

Eggsy loves their playful banter. “Thank fuck I’m here ta manage you two idiots.”

“Yes, thank fuck,” Harry says wryly and Merlin chuckles. “So, Eggsy, would you mind terribly if I went out with Merlin on Wednesday evening?”

“You don’t have ta ask my permission ta leave tha house, ‘arry.” 

“I know, but I still like to clear things with you, in case you have any sort of plans for us. An old friend is coming in from out of town, and we’d like to have dinner.”

“Oh. That sounds nice.” Eggsy desperately wants to ask why he’s not invited. Harry’s always introduced him to his friends before. 

Merlin clues in immediately, of course. “You’d be horribly bored, lad. While I know you enjoy listening to old war stories, we’d probably bore you terribly.”

“Merlin’s right, my boy. You’d be snoring five minutes in.”

“I do NOT snore,” Eggsy says. He still wants to ask if he can join them, but doesn’t want to nag. “It’s always nice ta meet up with old friends. I should do that more m’self. Of course ya should go, ‘arry. An’ have a wonderful time.”

“Thank you, darling boy.” Harry stands up and leans over to give Eggsy a kiss.

“Right, well you lot are all settled here. I think I’ll go down to tha garage an’ find somethin’ ta do. An’ don’t worry, Arthur, I know I have some overdue reports an’ you’ll have them by the end of tha day.” As he stands up, Eggsy looks down and realizes he’s gotten food on his trousers. No wonder Harry doesn’t want to take him to dinner.

“Thank you again for lunch,” Merlin says.

“Of course.” He kisses Harry’s forehead. “See you later, then.”

 

As soon as Eggsy’s out of earshot, Merlin frowns at Harry. “Harry.”

“I know. I saw it. I felt it.” Harry throws down his sandwich and sighs. “We hurt his feelings.”

“This is what happens sometimes when you lie for a good reason,” Merlin says. “You could just tell him.”

“But I wanted to surprise him.” Harry closes his eyes, remembering the hurt look on Eggsy’s face when he realized they weren’t asking him to come along . “It’s only a few more days.”

“You just have to figure out which matters more, Harry,” Merlin says sternly. “Your big surprise, or your boy’s feelings.”

“I don’t need you to be my conscience,” Harry scowls. 

“I think you do,” Merlin retorts, and Harry throws a napkin at him.

 

Eggsy’s not sure why it bothers him so much that Harry hasn’t invited him to dinner. He has no problem with Harry going out without him; he’s a grown man and Eggsy knows he can trust him. Harry has always said that he’s proud to have Eggsy on his arm, proud to show him off to the entire world. That night he asks Harry about this friend and Harry’s fairly evasive. He says it’s someone they were in training with, someone who didn’t make it through training but ended up working in the tailor’s shop for years. He only gives a first name, Daniel.

Merlin gives him the same song and dance, and actually goes so far as to suggest that Eggsy stop asking and stop worrying about it. He seems frustrated every time Eggsy goes to his office, so Eggsy stops going. 

He finds himself in the lab two days later, looking for James. “Ah, Agent Tristan, what may I do for you?” James smiles at him and shakes his hand.

“Are ya busy?”

“No, not right now.” 

“Can we sit down fer a second?”

“Of course.” James leads him to a table in the corner of the lab. 

“I have a question. I know ya wasn’t in their group of recruits, but did ya know anyone that didn’t make it through with Arthur an’ Merlin but ended up workin’ as a tailor?”

“From their group?” James thinks for a moment. “I know there was someone Alan knew who didn’t make it and ended up working in medical…but no. I don’t know anyone who didn’t make the cut as an agent and simply worked in the shop.” Eggsy’s heart drops into his shoes. “Did you have a particular person in mind?”

“Name was Daniel.”

“No…I don’t recall anyone like that. I’m sorry.” James studies him. “Are you all right?”

“Fine. Thanks, Ector. Sorry I wasted yer time.”

“No apology necessary.”

Eggsy plods back up to the offices, deep in thought. They don’t want him to know anything about this person, and they don’t want him to come along. He knows deep in his heart that he should trust Harry, after everything they’ve been through, but something just feels off. He almost wishes Alan was there. He’d help him figure it out. Alan was the sneakiest person he knew. He straightens his shoulder and heads for Merlin’s office. He’ll just go waste some time, not ask anything about the mysterious friend. Merlin’s never really turned him away, and this time he won’t frustrate him.

He raises his hand to knock but hears voices from the other side of the door. He looks up and down the hall before pressing an ear to the crack of the door. “This is probably the biggest mistake I’ve ever made,” Harry says. 

“This was all your idea, if you remember,” Merlin replies. “You asked me.”

“You’re the only one I could ask. The only one I want.”

“Is it worth it, Harry? Worth all the lies?”

“Yes. We’ll do it quickly and it will be done. Over. It’ll hurt for a moment…or so I’ve heard. Obviously I’ve never done this before.”

Eggsy leans his head against the door. Merlin’s going to fuck Harry on Thursday.

 

“Do I look presentable?” Harry comes down the stairs in a pair of black trousers and Eggsy’s favorite shirt of his, the dark green v-neck. “I always feel a bit nervous going out in anything other than a suit.”

“Ya look gorgeous, of course.” Eggsy gives him a small smile, trying to hide the fact that his heart is breaking. Harry’s acted like nothing’s going on, like there’s nothing happening, and Eggsy’s having a very rough time trying to keep up the façade. The night before they’d snuggled and watched television, and Harry had texted with Merlin the entire time. He’d said it was something about work, but Harry was chuckling far too much for that to be true. And he never once offered to show Eggsy the texts. Eggsy’s decided that he’s giving Harry until lunchtime on Friday. If his conscience doesn’t poke him enough to admit everything to Eggsy, Eggsy’s going to call him out on it. “Will yer friend recognize ya if ya ain’t in a Kingsman suit?”

“Good question, my boy.” Harry leans down and kisses his cheek. “God knows the rest of me has aged since we were in training.”

“Hmmm,” Eggsy says. The doorbell rings. “Bet that’s Merlin.” He makes no move to get up from the sofa. 

“Probably.” Harry looks at him strangely and goes to answer the door.

“I’m shocked. You’re ready?” Merlin asks as Harry leads him to the television room. “Hello, Eggsy.”

“Merlin.” Eggsy doesn’t look away from the television.

“Well, we should go then. One should arrive to their appointments on time,” Harry says, and Eggsy snorts. “Appointments with friends, that is.” He comes over and waits for Eggsy to stand and kiss him. 

“Have a very nice time.” Eggsy simply turns his face up.

“We’ll try. Don’t wait up.” Harry gives him a tender kiss and Eggsy fists his hands.

“I don’t plan on it.” Eggsy turns back to the television.

It’s after eleven when Eggsy hears Harry let himself into the house. He’s snuggled deep under the covers by then, willing himself to fall asleep but his own brain fighting against him. He turns on his side and pretends to be asleep.

Harry tiptoes into the room and quickly gets ready for bed. He slides into bed next to Eggsy and Eggsy smells something strange. A medicinal smell, mixed in with Merlin’s cologne. He wonders if it’s some sort of new lube they used, and the thought makes him swallow a sob. “Good night, my darling boy. I love you so much.” Harry kisses his head twice and turns away from him, not touching him.

The next morning Harry comes down fully dressed while Eggsy’s still in his pajamas making breakfast. “Didya have a nice time, then?”

“It was tolerable. I wish you would have been there, although I know you would have passed out from boredom. Looking at you always makes a bad time good.” Harry smiles at him and moves in to kiss him.

“Glad to know I’m just a pretty face.” Eggsy lets Harry kiss him and turns away. “Tea’s on.”

“You’re never just a pretty face, my boy. Is there a problem?” Harry forces Eggsy to turn around, his dark eyes concerned. 

“No, of course not. I’m glad you had a good time with your friend.” Eggsy kicks himself for seeing things that aren’t there. “Ya know, we should probably start thinkin’ about Christmas shoppin’. Lots of good sales in tha stores, I saw.”

“Make a list and we’ll work on it together,” Harry suggests. “I should be home for dinner, we can talk about it then.”

“That sounds good.” Eggsy gives Harry a more enthusiastic kiss this time.

Harry makes good on his promise and arrives home that evening with Chinese takeaway. They sit at the table and go over Eggsy’s Christmas list, and it’s like nothing’s ever happened. Harry holds his hand while they talk, fingers running over Eggsy’s wedding ring just like always. It’s when Eggsy makes a move to take the night in a more intimate direction that things fall apart.

Harry’s at the counter combining food into containers when Eggsy presses up behind him. He kisses Harry’s back through his jumper. “Why don’t we just leave these an’ go upstairs, luv?” He slides a hand under the soft jumper and caresses Harry’s stomach. “Or we could just stay here…haven’t done that in a while.” He trails his hand up towards Harry’s nipple and is shocked when a strong hand grabs his wrist. 

Harry brings Eggsy’s hand up to his lips and kisses it. “No, my boy. Not tonight. I’m…I’m tired, and I’m afraid my lack of response would only be embarrassing. I could take care of things for you, if you like.” 

Eggsy stares at him, stunned. The only time Harry has ever refused Eggsy’s suggestion of sex is when Eggsy’s been injured and it could hurt him in some way. “No. I…I don’t like it if we can’t both enjoy it.” He slowly pulls his hand away. “I’m sorry.”

“Eggsy, don’t apologize.” Harry gently gives him a hug, nothing like his usual warm embrace.

“I think I’ll take a shower tonight instead of tomorrow morning,” Eggsy says quietly, pulling away. 

“All right. I’ll be down here when you’re done.”

Eggsy spends almost an hour sobbing under the warm water.

 

The next morning, Eggsy gets up first, as usual. He dresses for work and goes downstairs to take care of Eliza. He picks her up and holds her, ignoring the dog hair that he knows is shedding all over his grey suit. “I love ya, Eliza. No matter what. No matter what yer…yer Da is doin’ to us. I’ll always take care of ya.” He kisses her and goes back upstairs to finish getting ready.

He walks into the bedroom and Harry gasps. “You scared me!” He clutches his dressing gown, pulling the two sides together to cover his chest.

“I didn’t know I had ta knock comin’ into my own bedroom.” Eggsy grabs his shoes. “I’m leavin’. I’ll see ya later.” He turns around and leaves without another word, without saying I love you.

He means to go up to his cubicle and start working, but he changes his mind by the time he gets off the train. He heads to the gymnasium and grabs his workout clothes from his locker. He runs five miles on the treadmill before doing pushups, pullups and jumping rope. He then tapes his hands and takes his frustrations out on the punching bags, working until he can barely lift his arms. He showers, gets dressed again, and takes a deep breath as he looks at himself in the mirror. He’s a Kingsman agent, too. He’s a gentleman now, and they’re not going to continue lying to him like he’s some stupid street rat.

He goes to Harry’s office, but of course he’s not there. “I believe he’s down with Merlin, Agent Tristan,” Juliet says helpfully. Because of course he is.

“Thank you.” 

Eggsy stands outside Merlin’s door, organizing his thoughts. He’s a gentleman now. He will go in there, ask them to explain, and then turn around and walk right back out. He knocks. “Come in,” Merlin says.

They’re seated around Merlin’s desk having tea. “Eggsy! I didn’t expect to see you!” Harry stands up, smiling broadly.

“I’m sure ya didn’t.” One look at the two of them has Eggsy’s gentlemanly plan going right out the window. “Just got one question, then I’ll leave ya be.” They look at him in confusion. “How long? How long has this been goin’ on?”

“What, Eggsy?” Harry stares at him.

“This.” He points between the two of them. “This thing. How long? How long have I been so fuckin’ stupid that I didn’t see it?”

“Lad, what are you talking about? Calm down.”

“Don’t tell me ta calm down, you fuckin’ prick. An’ don’t call me lad ever again. My friend Merlin calls me lad. Not whatever you are, you piece of shit. Looks like ya didn’t even need a love drug, didya? Just waited, bided yer time, got what ya wanted.”

“Eggsy!”

“You have a complaint about me, Eggsy Unwin-Hart, you know what to do about it.” Merlin slowly stands up and points to his ear.

“I do have a complaint.” Eggsy saunters over but doesn’t whisper. “My complaint is that yer fuckin’ my husband.”

“What?” Harry gasps. “Is that…Eggsy, no!”

Shock is written all over Merlin’s face. “Didya think I was gonna stay that stupid forever? All of a sudden yer goin’ out with a friend that I can’t know anythin’ about, an’ who I find out doesn’t even exist. Yer sendin’ yer cute little text messages, an’ talkin in yer offices an’ hidin’ things so I can’t see ‘em. An’ YOU.” He turns on Harry. “YOU come home smellin’ like Merlin an’ somethin else I can’t figure out. Ya won’t let me touch ya, ya don’t hold me in bed. Ya…ya rejected me, Harry.” Eggsy curses the tears that spill down his cheeks. “I tried ta get ya upstairs, tried ta…an’ ya said no.” Merlin falls back into his chair. “Ya covered yer body this mornin’ like I wasn’t allowed ta see it. Why? Are his fuckin’ bite marks all over it? That what I can’t see?” He looks back to Merlin and actually sobs. “I gave ya permission to be with US. With Harry AND me. I never said…I never said it was okay fer ya ta have him on yer own. I know I don’t own him, but I sorta figured my fuckin’ permission was required.” He looks down at his hands and starts to tug at his wedding ring.

“No.” Merlin jumps to his feet again. “Lad, you do not want to do that.”

“Don’t talk ta me. I don’t want you ta talk ta me ever again, unless it’s for a mission.”

“Eggsy, stop.” Harry grabs his hands. “Stop. Sit down.”

“Don’t touch me.”

“Sit DOWN, Eggsy.” Harry’s voice is something Eggsy’s never heard, and he sits down before he knows what he’s doing. Eggsy looks at Harry, whose face is a picture of misery. “This was supposed to be a surprise…for your birthday.” Eggsy snorts and pulls out his pocket square to wipe at his face. Harry undoes his tie and starts to unbutton his shirt.

“Oh, lovely, let’s see it. Can’t wait to see.” Eggsy shakes his head as tears fill his eyes again. “Wanna brag about it?”

“I’d hoped it was something you’d want to see,” Harry says sadly.

Eggsy stares at Harry’s chest. It looks the same as always, strong and broad, but the only mark is a small bandage above his left nipple. “What’s that? You told me you was fine, that ya didn’t need anythin’ but a checkup!”

“I am fine.” Harry moves to stand in front of Eggsy. He runs his hand over the bandage and holds his fingers out to Eggsy. “Is that the strange smell?” Eggsy slowly nods. “It’s antibacterial ointment. I had to use it. And you smelled Merlin because after this was over, I was quite woozy. He practically had to carry me home.” Eggsy stands as Harry slowly peels a bandage away.

There’s a healing tattoo over Harry’s nipple, in the general area of his heart. It’s a small rectangle, about eight centimeters across. A line zigzags up like a mountain and then down into a vee. “What…what is that?”

“It’s your heartbeat, Eggsy.” Eggsy collapses back into his chair. “That morning I went into medical, I was meeting with Miss Evans for a printout of your most recent EKG. Merlin was helping me find an appropriate tattoo parlor, and on Wednesday night I had it done. It was supposed to be a belated birthday surprise.”

“Ya already gave me birthday gifts,” Eggsy says stupidly.

“I know. This one took a bit more planning than I’d expected. I needed to get up the nerve; for everything I’ve done, I’m apparently afraid of tattoo needles.” Harry shrugs. “I wanted to wait until it was healed to show you. Wanted you to see how much you meant to me, that I wanted you under my skin permanently, that I wanted your heart with me always.”

“Fuck.” Eggsy buries his face in his hands and actually sobs from relief as well as embarrassment. 

“I told you keeping this a secret was a bad idea,” he hears Merlin say softly.

“You did.” Harry kneels before Eggsy. “My boy, stop…stop crying, please. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I made you doubt me, doubt Merlin, doubt US. It was a good idea in my mind, but I never realized how it would look from your side. I assumed you’d just…not think twice about it.” He pulls Eggsy’s hands from his face. “I couldn’t hold you because it hurt too much, and there’s no way I could go to bed with you and not take my shirt off.”

“You can’t ever go in tha field again.” Eggsy reaches out and very gently touches the pink skin.

“That’s what I told him,” Merlin said.

Eggsy looks up at him, horrified at what he’d said. “Fuck, Merlin, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I called you those names, said what I did. I shoulda known you’d never touch ‘im, never do anythin’ like that.” He jumps to his feet. He stands in front of Merlin, unable to look him in the eye. “I’m so sorry. Can ya ever forgive me?”

“Oh, Eggsy. Of course I can. There’s nothing to forgive. I told Harry he should say something to you, that you’d be hurt we didn’t invite you along that night to our supposed dinner.” He pulls Eggsy into a hug. “No need to apologize.”

Eggsy holds him close, hugging him as hard as he can. “I trust ya, I swear I do, Merlin. I let my stupid head go wild…”

“Enough.” Merlin kisses his forehead and releases him. “I’m going to go for a walk, I think.” He turns to Harry and points in his face. “I TOLD you so.”

“Yes, you did, and I give you permission to say that as often as you like.”

“Oh, I will be doing just that.” He kisses Eggsy again, fills his cup of tea and leaves his office.

Eggsy sighs. “Gave ya that big song an’ dance not too long ago about voicin’ yer feelings…guess I should shut up an’ listen ta myself.”

“I’m so sorry you’ve been hurting all week, my darling boy. I would never ever hurt you, not on purpose.”

“I know.” Eggsy wraps himself around Harry, making sure to press closer to his right side. “Is that really my heartbeat?”

“Yes.” Harry kisses him, a long tender kiss that takes Eggsy’s breath away. “Do you like it?”

“I never in a million years thought you would do somethin’ like this, ‘arry. A tattoo?”

“My mother would be appalled,” Harry says with a small grin. 

“Tattoos are pretty much forever, ‘arry.”

“They can be surgically removed or burned off, neither of which sound like something I would enjoy. So I guess you’re a part of me forever.”

“If I don’t do somethin’ stupid like this again, Haz.” Eggsy buries his face in Harry’s chest.

“It only shows your love for me, Eggsy. If you didn’t care you’d have never felt like this.”

“I do love ya, ‘arry. More than anything in the world.”

“I love you, too, my darling boy. And now you know that I’ll love you forever.”

Eggsy sighs. “I think Merlin’s walk sounds like a good idea. I’ll come find ya later, yeah?”

Harry’s eyes are troubled. “We’re fine, you know that, right? I understand why you got so upset.”

“But I shouldn’t have gotten that upset. I just need some time ta think. Ya got work ta do.” Eggsy gives Harry a small smile. “Even though yer officially a tattooed badass now, ya still gotta be Arthur.” Eggsy kisses Harry’s cheek. “I’ll talk to ya later.” Eggsy leaves Merlin’s office before Harry can call him back.


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They talk things out and have beautiful sexytimes...because they deserve it.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's read this, and given feedback. Again, if you have any ideas for flashback chapters I can write for the next story, please leave the ideas here.
> 
> Thank you.

THIRTY-FIVE

Eggsy jams his fists in his pockets as he walks, kicking at some pebbles on the path. He’s no longer angry, of course, except at himself. He wonders if HE’D ingested some sort of love drug…he’s never felt that angry, that possessive, that jealous. 

He sees a figure on a bench behind the weapons building and realizes it’s Merlin. He slowly approaches, taking a deep breath. “May I join ya?”

“Of course, lad.” Merlin pats the bench next to him. 

“Yer office is probably free now.”

“I’ll get back eventually. I should come outside like this more often. People think I’m a vampire.”

“Well, ya are a bit pale.”

“Brat.”

They sit in silence for a moment. “I can’t tell ya how sorry I am, Merlin.”

“I told you, it’s fine. I had a feeling something like this might happen, although you know the futility of trying to talk Harry out of something he’s dead set on doing anyway.” Merlin shrugs a bit. “I wondered when jealousy and suspicion might creep into whatever it is that we have between the three of us.”

“I promise ya, Merlin, I never thought anythin’ of tha sort until this whole sneakin’ around thing.” 

“I told you two at the beginning that I didn’t want to interfere in your marriage. Time spent intimately with the two of you has been amazing, but it’s not worth it. Not worth jeopardizing our friendship OR your relationship with Harry.”

“You didn’t. Swear down. I can’t speak for Harry, but I love the time with you, love that we can care for you and you can give yerself ta us. My fuck up is my fuck up…not yers.”

“You didn’t fuck up, Eggsy.”

“I did. WHY does this keep happenin’ ta us?” Eggsy blurts out. “I love ‘arry more than anythin’ in tha world, an’ I try ta show ‘im, an’ he gets all worried that I want kids or I want a wife. An’ he says he loves me, an’ instead of askin’ him when I feel threatened, I build this soap opera in my head of you an’ him fuckin’ around behind my back. Maybe we don’t belong together. Maybe we’re too much together.”

“Lad, listen to what you just said.” Merlin turns to face him. “You said, “he says he loves me.” Harry doesn’t SAY he loves you, he LOVES you.”

“But I’m…”

“He LOVES you.” Merlin rubs at his forehead. “I’m setting up shop next to Dr. Walmer, and I’m getting extra pay. Listen to me. He loves you. You’ve met Harry. You know that talking about his emotions and feelings is NOT his strong suit. You also know the man has zero patience. There’s nothing you could be giving him that he couldn’t get somewhere else if he didn’t love you and welcome your love in return. He wouldn’t just stick around, SAYING he loves you, if there wasn’t something special there…something keeping him there. You need to STOP thinking he’s just saying he loves you, and begin realizing he LOVES YOU.” Eggsy blinks at him, trying to wrap his mind around what he’s saying. “Harry Hart, gentleman spy, butterfly collecting freak, trained assassin, brilliant filthy-minded old man, loves you. Loves Eggsy Unwin, chav boy from the estates, dead shot with a rifle, caring, loving, warm-hearted dirty-minded little boy.”

“He loves me.” Eggsy stares off into the distance. “He really does.”

“He married you TWICE. He loves you.” Merlin sips at his tea. “And believe me, I’ve had the reverse of this conversation with him more than once. He’s threatened by the idea of your age, your beauty, your gigantic heart. He’s afraid you’ll trade him in for someone younger, prettier, and more open with their feelings.”

“No one’s prettier than ‘arry,” Eggsy says immediately.

Merlin rolls his eyes. “I knew you’d say that. And I also told him you thought that.”

“Maybe we should have married you instead,” Eggsy says, smiling a little. “I think ya might have kept us sane.”

“No one can keep the two of you sane, not even me.” Merlin shakes his head. “No, I think my place is outside this little drama.”

“Not always.” Eggsy briefly touches his leg. “Unless you don’t want to be part of it like that anymore.”

“We’ll see,” Merlin says. “As long as I know it’s not hurting the two of you.” He sighs. “I think we can just blame Harry for this. First of all, it was his stupid idea to do this brilliant surprise, because Harry isn’t Harry if he doesn’t try to do things over the top now and then. Secondly, he’s not here to defend himself. Thirdly…I really enjoy this Apology tea he brought before, and I would love some more.” He takes another sip and offers it to Eggsy to try.

“Needs sugar, mate. Fuck.”

“I am quite sweet enough,” Merlin says calmly, and Eggsy laughs out loud, feeling the best he has in days.

 

Harry slowly lets himself into the house and closes the door, leaning against it. It had been a very long day. Eggsy’d kept to himself most of the day, completing paperwork and finally ending up with Tor down in the garage. Harry had accomplished a lot that day, but if asked he probably could not describe one thing he’d done. He’d worked on autopilot, his mind constantly with Eggsy. Eggsy had texted him around four, letting him know he was going home and he’d get dinner together.

It’s after six now, and Harry is absolutely exhausted. The tattoo is tender and itching a bit, and he’s beginning to think that he could have found a better birthday gift. “I’m home,” he calls quietly down the hall. Eggsy appears from the kitchen in a pair of track pants, an old tee of Harry’s, and his slides. Harry loves seeing Eggsy in his clothes, and it does something to his heart when he thinks that Eggsy’s wearing something of his on purpose, even now.

“Hello, luv.” Eggsy stands on tiptoe to kiss Harry’s cheek and hands him a glass. “Here’s a drink for ya. Why dontcha go up an’ get more comfortable…take yer time. Makin’ pasta, somethin’ easy.”

“Thank you, Eggsy.” Harry pulls his hand from behind his back. “These are for you.”

He frowns a bit as Eggsy stares at the small bouquet before smiling. “Flowers? For me?”

“Yes. I know it’s…it’s usually something one brings to a woman, but…I walked through town a bit once I got off the train, and I saw these…thought they were pretty.” He blushes a bit. “The woman at the flower shop said they were an apology bouquet…I figured it couldn’t hurt.”

“Ya don’t need ta apologize again, ‘arry.” Eggsy buries his face in the colorful petals. “No one’s every given me flowers.” His smile as he looks back up at Harry is luminous, and Harry feels a bit of a load fall off his shoulders. “Thank ya, luv.” He kisses Harry on the lips this time. “Go ahead up an’ relax a bit.”

Harry takes his time changing clothes, sipping as his drink as he does so, but he really just wants to be downstairs with his husband. Things are going to change, he decides, and the time to start that change is now. He goes back down and takes the time to greet Eliza in the hallway. “Hello, my pretty girl. Have you been helping your Daddy make dinner?” He finishes his drink and scoops her up in one arm.

“She’s been helpin’ all right. She’s a menace.” Eggsy gives her a fond look as they enter the kitchen. Harry smiles when he sees the flowers in a pitcher on the table.

“Poor girl. Daddy’s a monster when he’s cooking, isn’t he?” Harry buries his face in her fur and looks up over her ears.

“Monster my arse. Remember that when yer visitin’ me in hospital cuz she tripped me an’ I broke my leg.” Eggsy points a sauce-covered wooden spoon at her.

“Well, she can warm my bed since you won’t be there,” Harry points out. He puts the dog on the floor and sits down. “Thank you for dinner, and for my drink.”

“Course,” Eggsy says. “Almost done.” He stirs the sauce. “I was talkin’ with Merlin today.” Harry waits. “Pointed out a few things that I really hadn’t thought about. He’s worried about us…about what his bein’ with us might do.”

“He has nothing to do with anything in our marriage,” Harry says firmly.

“An’ I told him that. I asked if he wants ta, ya know, just be friends or whatever, an’ I got “we’ll see.” Made me feel like I was a kid again.” Eggsy shakes his head. He drains the pasta, puts it in a bowl, and turns off the stove. Harry gets up and quickly sets the table, pouring Eggsy a glass of soda and himself a glass of wine. Eggsy brings the pasta and sauce to the table and they sit down. “He made me see that we’re goin’ about this all wrong.”

“We are?” Harry’s half-afraid that Eggsy’s going to say they never should have married, but he makes himself remain calm.

“Yeah. You an’ me, we love each other. We say it all tha time, we show it. But we never believe it.” Harry gives him a confused look. “Do ya believe I love ya?”

“Of course.”

“I show ya every day? I say it?”

“Yes, you do.”

“But you very easily believed I wanted somethin’ other than you. Even though I tell ya yer my everything.”

“Well, there’s so much out there that’s better than I am for you…so…”

“Shut tha fuck up, ‘arry.” Eggsy slaps the table. “THIS is where we’re fuckin’ up. We love each other so much, want to give tha other person EVERYTHING…but we can’t believe we deserve it in return.” He serves Harry before serving himself. “Merlin pointed out ta me earlier that when I was talkin’ about ya, I said “Harry says he loves me.” But what I didn’t say was “Harry loves me.” Like I didn’t really think ya meant it. An’ he gave me hell an’ made me realize it were true. I keep waitin’ fer ya ta change yer mind.” He takes Harry’s hand and kisses it. “I made a vow ta be by yer side forever, an’ I can’t spend forever worryin’ that I’m not enough.”

“You’ll always, always be enough.”

“I know that, ‘arry. But we both are guilty of this. We need ta focus on US. On what a wonderful thing we have. Not why we could lose it. Ya get me? Enough stupid shit we gotta deal with while we save tha world.”

Harry slowly twirls his pasta on his fork. “Yes, I think I do get you. And you’re right.” He groans. “Christ. That means Merlin’s right. He’ll never let me forget it, either.”

“He did say somethin’ about Apology tea?”

“Bastard. That tea costs me a fortune.” Harry sighs. “But he deserves it. Now you see why he’s been my friend for longer than you’ve been alive.”

“I do.”

“I’ve never felt for anyone the way I feel for you,” Harry says shyly. “I think I don’t know how to deal with it sometimes. I also have to learn to allow you to love me in the same way.”

“Damn straight ya do.” Eggsy gives him a cheeky grin. “Same fer me, luv. Gotta get past tha idea of posh ‘arry ‘art lovin’ stupid chav Eggsy Unwin.”

“Damn straight you do,” Harry echoes. He leans over and gives Eggsy a tender kiss. “Because Harry Hart loves Eggsy Unwin very much.”

 

Eggsy knows he’s only made basic spaghetti and tomato sauce, but for some reason it’s the best meal he’s ever eaten. He realizes halfway through the meal that he keeps looking at Harry with a goofy smile on his face, and Harry keeps returning it with a very similar expression. They clear the table together and Harry helps him clean up, drying dishes as Eggsy washes him. Harry keeps touching him, gentle brushes against his hand as he reaches for the next dish, or pressing against Eggsy as he leans around to put something away.

By the time they’re finished, Eggsy finally feels normal again, like this is how it’s supposed to be. “Thank you again for dinner,” Harry says softly. He kisses Eggsy’s forehead. 

“I like cooking fer ya, ya know that,” Eggsy says. He sighs a bit and closes his eyes. Harry leans his forehead against Eggsy’s.

“I would very much like to make up for my mistake earlier this week and take you upstairs, if you’re amenable.” Harry runs his hand up and down Eggsy’s back.

“I am so very fuckin’ amenable, Mr. Hart.” 

Harry takes Eggsy by the hand and leads him upstairs. Eggsy closes the bedroom door and it’s only then that Harry kisses him. He cradles Eggsy’s face in his hands and gives him sweet slow kisses that soon leave him breathless. “I love kissing you,” Harry whispers, kissing his chin, his nose, his eyelids.

“I love kissin’ you.” Eggsy leads him to the bed and sits him on it before bending down to untie and remove Harry’s shoes. “Save ya tha trouble,” he says with a wink. He pulls off Harry’s socks and throws them in the hamper, then kicks his own shoes under the bed.

They slowly undress each other, mouths following hands as skin is revealed. They’re naked and kissing deeply before they even lay down on the bed. “I’m sorry if you thought I could ever want this with anyone but you,” Harry says. He lays down on the bed and Eggsy lays next to him on his side. “And as far as anyone fucking me? Being inside of me? No one will EVER do that but you. Even if we bring Merlin into our bed again.” 

“Harry…” Eggsy kisses him again, hand trailing through Harry’s hair. “Luv, can I ask ya a question?”

“Of course.” Harry twines his fingers with Eggsy’s free hand and brings them to his mouth.

“What do ya love about me? Physically, I mean?” Harry gives him an odd look. “Just tell me. And “everything” is the only wrong answer.”

“Well…” Harry kisses each fingertip. “I love how soft your hair is…I love how your eyes change color. I love your cheeky grin, your dimples.” Harry kisses the place where the dimples usually appear. “You know I have a special fondness for your ears. I love your nipples…you know that. I love how strong you are…” Harry trails a hand over Eggsy’s bicep. “Your thighs…my God…poems should be written about them. Your perfect arse…it’s so gorgeous.” Harry reaches around to squeeze it. “I love the way it feels when I’m buried deep inside you.” Eggsy snickers a bit and blushes. “And, of course, this has always given me a great deal of joy.” Harry runs one finger over Eggsy’s hard cock. “Even just looking at it.”

“Dirty old man,” Eggsy teases. “Now…how about in ways other than physical?”

“That’s easy. Your intelligence, your wit, your generosity. The way you love so quickly and with every part of you, your unselfish nature. Your devotion to family and friends…and to me.” Harry’s hand slides up and down Eggsy’s hip and thigh. “Your idea of perfection when it comes to doing your job…your respect for Kingsman.”

“Thank you.” Eggsy lets his tongue slide along Harry’s lips before delving in for a long kiss. 

“Shall I ask you the same question, then?” Eggsy nods. “All right…tell me.”

“Ya know I love yer hair.” Eggsy rakes his fingers through it. “Your eyes. Fuck, they was the first thing I noticed about ya. They’re so dark…an’ that first day they was so full of secrets. Yer smile, because I know that there’s a special smile only I get ta see. Yer chest…love sleeping on it, love hearin’ yer heartbeat.” Eggsy’s fingers trail over the small bandage. “Love it even more now. Yer legs…Christ, ‘arry. They go on forever, an’ I LOVE when they wrap around me.” Eggsy strokes Harry’s cock and he shudders. “This…I wish I could tell everyone how wonderful THIS is…how it fills me, makes me go fuckin’ mental.”

“I think I’d appreciate it if you DIDN’T tell everyone that,” Harry says wryly.

“An’ then there’s that. Yer sense of humor, you’re so sarcastic sometimes, I love it. Your mind, of course, your sophistication…tha way you can eye up a situation an’ see things other people don’t. You NOTICE things. You’re in love with my little sister, an’ I could watch tha two of ya all day. Ya take care of my mum. Ya take care of me, sometimes more than I want, but always when I need it.” Eggsy kisses him. “Yer the best Arthur Kingsman’s ever seen, an’ I’m not tha only one that thinks so.”

“I don’t know about that,” Harry mumbles, and Eggsy’s pleased to see him blush.

“Did ya pay attention ta everythin’ I said?” Eggsy asks. Harry nods. “I paid attention to you. An’ when we start feelin’ stupid, an’ doubtin’ stuff, we gotta think of today, an’ what was just said. Get me?”

“I got you,” Harry answers. Eggsy carefully rolls on top of him, making sure to avoid the bandaged area.

“Can’t wait until I can lick that,” Eggsy says, rolling a bit. Harry moans, grasping at Eggsy’s backside. “But until now, I’ll just hafta lick ya everywhere else.” 

He starts with Harry’s neck and ears, trailing his tongue and following it with kisses. He pays close attention to each nipple, sliding back and forth between them until they’re hard and he can bite them. “God, Eggsy,” Harry groans, arching up into his mouth.

“I have ya, luv.” Eggsy gently rakes his fingernails down Harry’s stomach as he moves down further. His hands tenderly hold Harry’s hips as he rubs his face over Harry’s cock. “Fuck, ‘arry, yer so hard…hot…” 

“Please, Eggsy…”

Eggsy drags his lips across just the head and Harry groans. He finally opens his mouth and slowly pulls Harry inside, keeping his mouth loose as he pulls him in, and then tightening as he moves back off. “I could do this to ya all night, ‘arry. Love the way ya feel in my mouth.”

“Eggsy…” Harry leans up on his elbows so he can watch, one hand holding Eggsy by the hair. “Look at me, my boy.”

Eggsy obediently looks up, stroking as he sucks. Harry groans again, his eyes never leaving Harry’s face. “Ya like watchin’? Like seein’ my tongue on yer dick, ‘arry?” Eggsy obscenely drags his tongue up the hot skin, eyes never leaving Harry’s face.

“You dirty beautiful thing.” Harry falls back on the bed and is soon gasping for breath. “Darling, please…I don’t want to finish like this…not tonight…”

Eggsy slowly pulls off, giving one last twist of his hand and one final flick of his tongue. He gets up and goes to the nightstand for lube. As he comes back to the side of the bed, Harry grabs his hips to hold him still. One hand strokes his cock and Eggsy almost loses his balance. “Jesus, Harry...”

“I couldn’t resist.” Harry plants a gentle kiss on the head, letting his lips just take in the tip. He looks up at Eggsy. “What do you want, my boy?”

“I want you inside me.” Eggsy crawls onto the bed and lays down on his back. “I want your fingers until I’m screaming, and then I want your cock. Want you to fill me…love me.”

“That sounds amazing.” Harry leans up and gives him a wet kiss, tongue plunging into Eggsy’s mouth until he whimpers. He then takes his time kissing his way down Eggsy’s chest, ignoring his nipples, just kissing along the lines of his abdominal muscles until he’s twitching and giggling. He kisses along the length of one thigh, pulling that leg up over his shoulder. “Perfect,” he murmurs, dragging his tongue from Eggsy’s knee to his hip. Eggsy hears him open the lube and then a finger is teasing and pressing in.

“Yes, Harry.” His hands trail thorugh Harry’s hair. “Yes.”

“I love how you open up for me, like you’re just waiting for me to take you.” Harry kisses Eggsy’s balls before sucking one into his mouth.

“Jesus FUCK, Harry!” Eggsy shouts, arching off the bed. 

Harry continues to lick and suck as he works in a second finger. Eggsy moans, hands grabbing at Harry’s hair as he slowly destroys him. “I don’t hear you screaming yet,” Harry reminds him, teasing the tips of three fingers at his entrance.

“Harry…suck my cock, please…”

“With pleasure.” Harry takes Eggsy’s entire cock in his mouth as the three fingers go in.

“Fuck, yes, ‘arry, you fuckin’ cocksucker, yes…” Eggsy’s hands slap the bed before fisting in the covers. Harry continues to slowly suck him, working his mouth in time with his fingers, and it’s when he pushes in the tip of a forth that Eggsy finally yells. “Harry, luv, ya gotta stop…fuck, please, ‘arry…”

“There’s that scream.” Harry slowly withdraws his fingers, wiping them on the covers as he slowly moves up Eggsy’s body, kissing along the way. “I love you…love you so much.”

“Yesssss, ‘arry…” Eggsy moans as he lifts his hips and Harry moves inside.

Harry props himself on his elbows, placing them on either side of Eggsy’s head. Eggsy brings his arms up so he can twine his hands with Harry’s. “I love you, my blessed boy.” Harry buries his face in Eggsy’s neck as he drags himself in and out. “You were made for me.”

“Yes, ‘arry…ya feel so good, fuck…” Eggsy wraps his legs around Harry’s waist, urging him on with his heels. He squeezes Harry’s hands.

“Tell me…tell me how it feels…” Harry bites at Eggsy’s throat. 

“Fuck…ya feel so big, like ya ain’t gonna fit but fuck…so deep…” Eggsy knows he’s not forming rational sentences but he doesn’t care. “Wanna feel ya come inside me, wanna take all of ya…”

“Christ…I won’t last if you keep saying things like that…”

Eggsy kisses him and puts his hands on his chest, fingers very gently ghosting over the bandage. “Up, ‘arry…want ya ta fuck me…fuck me so I feel it tomorrow…”

“Jesus, Eggsy!” Harry scrambles to his knees and begins to pull Eggsy by the hips to meet his thrusts. “Like this?”

“God…yes…” Harry pushes the breath out of Eggsy on every thrust, and when Harry reaches down to stroke him, he sees stars. “Fuck, ‘arry…make me come…please…fuck it right out of me.”

“My sweet dirty boy.” Eggsy feels Harry’s hand grab at his waist while the other flies over his cock. 

“Haz…fuck…FUCK…” Eggsy shouts as he comes, throbbing in Harry’s hand as the hot liquid shoots over his fingers. Harry brings his hand up and lightly touches his tongue to his wet skin, and Eggsy feels as if he could come again.

“I love you.” Harry’s head falls back as he comes, pushing in and come hot and wet inside.

“Luv…” Eggsy moans as Harry slowly pulls out and collapses next to him. He’s panting for breath, but Eggsy can’t stop kissing him. “Made for each other…in every way…right, ‘arry?”

“Of course, my darling boy…no one else could put up with me like you do,” Harry gasps.

“It is a trial,” Eggsy agrees, and Harry pinches his nipple. They laugh as they try to breathe normally again.

“I’m yours forever,” Harry says quietly once he catches his breath. “You’ll never be rid of me.”

“I never want to lose you…and I’m never gonna leave ya. No matter what.”

“No matter what,” Harry whispers, kissing him once more.

THE END


End file.
